Chapter Fourteen: All for the Good

It was so easy to keep falling in love with Malachi; it wasn't just about the physical connection for Jack. They worked with him, helping him to function to a greater degree every single day, hours of time dedicated to everything that his siblings had ever been able to do with hardly any effort. It was hard to see sometimes because he worried that Malachi would never be able to play catch up but on the other hand he was happy and worked right along with them. He giggled and he loved his siblings, starting to know their faces and recognizing each of them. Jack loved seeing the life in those eyes, and knowing that this was just what it was like to recover from some sort of birth defect or mental retardation. He knew that this wasn't exactly the same thing, obviously but it was close enough to be helpful.

The rest of their day passed in teaching and working with Malachi, each of the kids coming in at various times to help Daniel and Jack with the therapy. Daniel and Jack were taking turns so they could spend some time outside with the rest of the children who were barely calm enough for lunch before they were up and buzzing about in the backyard once again. The last time Daniel had switched off and headed for the door, Jack had taken a peak outside and found Daniel tucked into one of the chairs on the deck with Claire curled up in his lap and they were just talking to each other, undoubtedly in a different language. He'd watched, love shimmering in every dark part of his heart and soul watching them together. He walked away when Daniel pressed a kiss to their daughter's head and smiled at something she said, shaking his head in amazed humor.

If Jack were really honest with himself he would say that it wasn't hard for him to fall in love with his husband and every single one of his children over and over. The rest of the day passed like that until they were climbing into bed with Malachi sleeping after his long evening and Jack sat watching as Daniel shimmied quickly out of his clothes and slipped into his sleep pants and t-shirt. Jack felt the pleasant warmth of desire spread from his chest and up to his cheeks but he ignored it as he thought about what Erica had come to talk to him about. He knew she was speaking of their best interests and she'd been worried about Daniel's reticence. Jack knew how much they'd had to deal with and there was never time for them to get through each change together.

"Danny, did you want to talk about Erica's request?"

Daniel flinched but turned and started getting into bed anyway. Jack took it as a good sign that he wasn't self-hugging in the opposite corner but then again they weren't really talking yet.

"Jack, I'm not against it. There are so many things we haven't talked about in recent months that I don't want to go in there thinking that she is going to get to hear it first. I wasn't trying to hide anything from you, there were so many things happening and I didn't know how to deal with it by the time the next thing was happening. We haven't spent so much of our time in recent years on the kids instead of our relationship, I honestly don't know who we are in some ways as a couple anymore."

Jack reached over and took Daniel's hand, leaning close and pressing a kiss to the inside of Daniel's hand and smiled. "Then maybe it's time we spent a little time reacquainting ourselves."

Daniel waggled his eyebrows with a evil smirk on his face, "Though I have missed us in that way, I don't think that's going to help."

Jack chuckled, "Not what I meant Daniel."

"Maybe you shouldn't look at me like that while you're saying it then," Daniel said with a lazy gesture towards Jack's face with his free hand. Jack smiled and didn't downshift his thinking in the least, he wanted Daniel to know that this new version of Daniel, whatever that might entail was going to be the person Jack picked over and over again.

"Tell me one thing that you felt you had to hold back recently, for whatever reason," Jack requested and pressed his other hand around the one captured in his other hand. Daniel smiled down at the gentle hold, he could easily slip free if he needed to and Jack was grateful that he didn't feel like he needed to.

"I missed the old you, the one that you were before Malachi a lot, I would never give him up for anything but I sometimes miss the hard ass General O'Neill who wouldn't cry about anything, he gave me strength when I didn't have of my own and there were times when I didn't know how to find the strength without the old you by my side."

Jack smiled at the way the words tripped over each other trying to get out into the air, slipping into quiet after the little speech and he settled on his side, head on his pillow while Daniel did the same so they could look into each other's eyes. "Daniel, I miss the old me sometimes too, I am still the hard-ass and I am going to do everything in my power to keep you safe and happy whenever I can. I know it was so hard for you, taking on the warrior role which you did with panache I might add," Daniel snorted at that and Jack smiled. "You don't to be that forever though, I'm still here. I know you had to think of the worst, you were watching the worst-case scenario everyday but it's not like that anymore. I am not dying any faster today than I was yesterday and I am going to stay with you until someone comes to drag me away. And I will be kicking and screaming the whole time."

"Like a girl?" Daniel asked with a little smirk.

"No," Jack scoffed, "Like a Black Ops military General."

"Oh they kick and scream?"

"Uh huh," Jack said, still grinning as he squeezed Daniel's hand that was still loosely held in his hand between them.

"I'm pretty sure you are going to sound like your twin daughters, just high pitched and embarrassing."

"Nope," Jack shook his head a little, made difficult by the way he was laying down but sobered after a moment, "I wondered if because you were such a wonderful and strong warrior if you would still need me. I sometimes wonder if that's all I'm good for and when I am incapable of protecting you and the kids then is that going to be enough?"

Daniel scooted forward, pressing his lips to Jack's in a sweet and slow kiss, lingering over the taste and the scent of Daniel in the bedroom. After all the years, Jack figured their scents would have been overlaid so much that he wouldn't still be able to distinguish the clean simple scent of Daniel's skin and he was happy to find it still there when he took a deep breath. After a few minutes of leisure necking Daniel pulled away and smiled again, "Don't be stupid Jack."

Jack barked out a quick laugh at that before Daniel continued.

"If I wanted someone who would always protect me then I would've married Teal'c," Daniel said and Jack snorted at the picture that made and was glad he felt no jealousy at the image floating around. "I love you because you are the best friend I have ever had, you are the person who saved me as many times as I saved him. You, Jack O'Neill, were the only person I trusted even when I didn't listen, I needed you all the time and none of those things had to do with your background or your ability to kick some serious ass."

"I love you too Danny, I always want you with me. I feel like when I fell in love with you, there was just something in my head that said I didn't want to share you with anyone ever again, not after all those girls on different worlds. I feel like something inside me shifted in a way I would have never planned or wanted, it was just the way my heart got to keep you."

"Are you saying you went a little crazy for me?" Daniel asked with a smirk.

Jack nodded with a smile, at the time he had felt crazy but the desire to hold Daniel close and never let him go had overridden all of his mental facilities. It seemed like there was nothing to stop him from proposing or asking Daniel to throw himself into fatherhood and the family life. "I think in some ways, working with Akina so much in the beginning was my stubborn need to remain who I was instead of looking straight into who I was then. I wish in some ways we had been given the opportunity to go through the motions of finding out everything slowly, realizing our feelings together in the sanity and calm of the past with no magic involved but that didn't happen and I wouldn't give up the years I have with you for the safety of not changing in retrospect. I was crazy, I didn't know who I was anymore, and again you were there for that and that was equally amazing and distressing."

Jack waited for Daniel to ask for an explanation but he just nodded instead, "I hear you there, dealing with magic has been a lot like living in a reality TV show where the audience always knows what you're thinking or feeling before you do. Not to mention there were a lot of things we rushed into in the beginning, like we were high all the time but almost lucid enough to pretend there wasn't a problem with living life like that."

Jack smiled, pleased that they were on the same page about this and neither of them were hurt or angry. It stood a small time of their past, not their present. They'd never really talked much about the tumultuous and magical beginning as a couple and it felt good to not have it trapped in his mind anymore. It wasn't something that ate at him but they did go at this very strangely but then magic had made a lot of things weird for them. He didn't regret going 'a little crazy' over Daniel but he doesn't like having basically being forced to accept it when he wasn't ready to.

He leaned in and kissed Daniel again, dragging out the sensation until Daniel tucked his chin and ended the kiss.

"Is that enough therapy for tonight?" Daniel asked sweetly, pulling his hand from Jack's to press into Jack's chest. He grinned as Daniel pushed him back to lay on his back and Daniel leaned close as he pushed Jack's shirt up and out of the way as Daniel continued some physical therapy instead. Jack settled back and enjoyed the sensation of soft lips on skin, fingers dancing across his chest and down further, proving that Daniel was more than willing to put away the mental stuff to reacquaint themselves with the love they shared in a much more satisfying way.