June

Last night was uneventful. The alarms went off when someone backed against a wall in an ally. We were all called in, and by then it was four in the morning, and we were sent home. I wasn't able to hide all of my disappointment. I was expecting something big, something exciting, and something to distract myself from all of these emotions playing with my head.

I haven't seen Day since last night. He walked me home, but we were both quiet most of the time. I talked to him about how I hope there will be more action soon, and I told him that I hope he'll come with me again tonight for watch. He agreed, and I took note of the yearning curiosity showing in his eyes. It kills me inside, not telling him. I want nothing more in the world than for him to pull me into him and kiss me. But I know that that won't happen. It might now ever happen again.

Much like yesterday today was mostly boring. I reported to Anden about having no suspicious activity last night, and he told me about fourteen more flags getting painted in a variety of places. A few people had noticed them and Anden fed them a lie which they gobbled up.

I slept for a few hours then. I dreamed of action, adventure, doing something great for the Republic. Then I woke up to the ringing alert of a call. I yawned once before answering. "Hello?" I said, sleep showing heavily in my voice.

"June, it's Day." I try to wake up more, to make myself more presentable in speech. "I know that we will see each other tonight, but do you mind if I came over in say, an hour? That way we could talk for a few hours before watch."

My heart races at his offer and my mouth is speaking before I my mind can even process what to say. "Oh, yes of course! I really want to get to know more about you."

"I hope to get to know you better as well June," Day says. "See you in an hour."

He hangs up and I'm left sitting on my bed, my head pounding. I get up and take a shower, tie up my hair, get dressed, and by the time I'm finished Day will be here any moment now. I feel often lonely in my apartment now. When it's just me, there isn't anyone to talk to. A knock on the door pulls my attention away from my thoughts.

"June?" Day says, and I turn to him and smile. "You look amazing."

"Thank you," I say, and Day walks in, the door shutting softly behind him.

We sit down and I offer him something to drink, but he refuses. "June," he begins uncertainly and I'm sure now that there is a reason that he has come to talk to me. "I was wondering if you would tell me more about out past."

My heart stops in my chest. "Our past?" I ask, and he nods. "Well, what exactly is it that you want to know?"

Day rests his elbows on his knees. "You said that we were close. What had you meant by that?"

I bite my tongue but figure that there is no point in lying completely to him, I'll do what I did yesterday and only give him small pieces of what once was. "We were together but, it wasn't that important." This lie kills me inside, but I know that it's what I must tell him. Maybe I wasn't important to him. If I was important, wouldn't he have remembered me?

"Not important? How could it not have been important?" I'm unsure of how to reply, so I dodge the question a little.

"You had a way with girls. I was just another one of them."

"That couldn't be true," he argues and I force a small smile.

"Day, it was." I'm aware that I just used his nickname, but I don't care. It just doesn't feel right to call him Daniel. Then again, this isn't the same person from all of those years ago. Is it?

"I don't really talk to girls or anything anymore," he tells me. "I tried at first, but we never connected. I always have felt like something was missing. Someone was missing."

I remain silent but I can feel his gaze on me. I know what he will ask, but I don't know how I will be able to respond.

"June, are you that someone?"

I force myself to meet his gaze. I'm paralyzed by his startling blue eyes as they study me, hungry for the truth. "I wouldn't know," I reply in a soft, distant voice. I stand up and walk over to my bed. It sits right next to a window and a small part of the city lies below. The Republic, of which I have so long served. I take a seat and continue looking out at the view.

I feel the weight on the bed shift and I become aware that Day is sitting next to me. That's all that there is for a moment. Sitting, silently, only the soft patterns of our breathing which are not in sync. After a few more moments, Day speaks. "I think that it's you."

I don't reply. Day sighs before speaking again. "I'm not sure why you won't tell me the truth or all of it anyways. I'm not going to ask you to tell me. But whatever happened between us, it's in the past now. Right?"

I turn to look at him, our faces only inches apart. It breaks my heart when I realize what he is thinking. Day thinks that it's his fault that I won't tell him. He thinks that it's something that he did. How would I tell him that it was me who led the soldiers to his house, the soldiers that killed his mother? How would I tell him that I was the one who allowed his brother to die? That I was the one who made all of these mistakes, ones I know that he wouldn't be able to forgive me for.

I take a deep breath. "Day, I've done things. Bad things. Things, you wouldn't forgive me for. I don't think you should be trusting me, or asking, or anything. I don't want to hurt you again."

Once he realizes that it's my fault and not his, his expression changes. Guilt turned to sorrow. I felt his warm breath on my cheek, and I'm digging my thumbnail into my hand to keep self-control. How easy it would be to lean forward and kiss those perfect lips of his. How easy it would be to tell him everything. How easy it would be to put my head on his shoulder and just forget the world.

"June, I'm willing to make an offer." I raise my eyebrows. I hadn't really expected to be given an offer. I expected him to either pry at our past or leave.

"What would that be?"

"I offer to start completely over. I want you to forget me everything you know about me, and I'll forget the little things that I know and remember about you. I want things to know have some forgotten past, an unknown history. I want to begin again."

I bite my lip.

Forget our past?

Start over?

My heart pounds as I make the hardest decision that I've ever made.

"Okay."

A/N: Just to let you know, the real romance will be starting in the next chapter! Yay!

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