A/N - so glad everyone is sticking with me through this... we're going somewhere, I promise, and it's 100% Shenko ;-) Also, if its not obvious from the context of this chapter, I always play Vanguard, so I always write Shepard as one too. It's what I know best... Bioware owns everything, I just take them out, torture them, and return them with regret.
I want to take a moment to mention all my reviewers by name again - the author's note for the last chapter was so long I was afraid you'd get lost! So thank you, again, Lyv, Gabe97, InuGuardian1984, traitor marine, Jules Hawk, SilentPony, Letticiae and Abionastar50 for taking time out of your busy lives to give me your feedback. Just so you know, I was planning on taking a break from writing, and therefore posting, today, but the new reviews gave me incentive (just saying!) A special thanks to for your review Gabe97 - you pointed out a huge oversight in this fic that both my beta and I missed originally so I went back (I'm about 9 chapters ahead in actual writing atm) and corrected it... so I dedicate this chapter to you!
As always, I cannot thank StoneburntHeart, my dear friend, awesome beta, and fellow ocd fangirl enough for her help and support!
They sat there peacefully for a few moments, silent, enjoying the closeness. Then he tilted her chin up gently and kissed her softly. She returned the kiss, then pulled back and met his eyes. Hers were filled with sadness, but also love.
"I love you, too – always have, always will," she said softly finally echoing the words he had said earlier, "but we didn't fix anything," she finished with a sad smile.
"No," he agreed in the same soft tone, "but it's a place to start."
She sighed and nodded, then relaxed back into their embrace, tucking her head back against his neck.
They sat there, silently holding each other, until they couldn't stand the cold any longer. They redressed – he in the clothes in which he had arrived, she in fresh ones from her locker – and he left her in her cabin and returned to Starboard Obs. They still hadn't spoken another word.
~x~
Kaidan woke from the dream memory of his last moments with Shepard the night before to the pinging of his omni-tool. He shook off the remnants of sleep and accessed the device and discovered he had a new message from Shepard.
K, we arrive at Pragia at 1000. You're on deck. Also, you're in charge of ordinance. Be ready.
Since the message was unexpected, left him with a lot of questions, and left him some leeway as it wasn't as terse as she would typically phrase orders, Kaidan took a chance and typed a reply.
S, I'm on deck? Thought you didn't trust me? Also, of course you want me to set the bomb.
Kaidan waited less than a minute before his omni-tool pinged her reply.
K, I said I couldn't trust you – right now - NOT that I didn't trust you. But this mission should be a simple in-and-out, no bogeys, right? Plus, I'm not wandering around alone with a psychotic. Your idea - you babysit. Ignoring the last part of your message – who else would I ask?
Ok, what the hell did that mean? Kaidan thought, even as he smirked over her dry humor and pointed reference to his role on Virmire… He checked the time on his omni-tool, and discovered he had enough to shower, collect the psychotic in question, and check his gear before he needed to be in the shuttle. Hopefully he'd be able to question Shepard in person at some point during the mission.
~x~
He was just leaving the showers when his omni-tool pinged another message. He laughed a little at his sudden popularity and opened the 'tool to read it.
Will all undead crew members please report to the cockpit. ASAP
Kaidan laughed a bit to see that Joker apparently hadn't changed and headed toward the elevator. When he reached the cockpit, he found his old friend in the pilot's chair as expected. He walked up behind him, placed a hand on Joker's shoulder to get his attention then spoke.
"Really? Undead?" Kaidan said with a smirk, "What am I, a zombie now?"
Joker turned in his chair to face Kaidan and he saw emotions flicker over the pilot's expressive face – shock, pain, guilt – before he quickly masked them behind his typical smirk.
"Kaidan!" Joker mock-exclaimed, "Sorry about the zombie thing… Too much? But last time I heard, you did have a severe case of dead."
"Yeah, I got better," Kaidan sallied back. He knew that Joker hadn't meant to injure – it was just the other man's way – but the comment did hit a little close to home. He shrugged it off though.
"Thanks to tons of Cerberus tech," Joker hissed, "Shepard filled me in on the evil plan."
"Yeah," Kaidan replied, and this time, the hurt showed a bit. "Listen, Joker, sorry I didn't come see you right away. I was…"
"A little busy?" Joker filled in with another smirk. "EDI told me you spent a few hours in the loft. And left with wet clothes. Showering in the captain's cabin, Kaidan?" Joker raised his brows and wagged them, "Just a little tip – we usually take our clothes off to shower."
Kaidan couldn't help the blush that spread over his cheeks at Joker's teasing, and he had no intention of answering the suggestive comment, so he searched for an excuse for a quick exit, "Yeah, I need to-" he started to say before Joker cut him off.
"Kaidan," this time Joker's face and tone were uncharacteristically serious, "Listen, man… I know it was my fault… I should have…"
"Joker," Kaidan said, placing his hand on the pilot's shoulder again, "I didn't blame you then, and I don't now."
Joker smiled at him gratefully and was about to reply before they were interrupted by another voice behind them.
"If you two are done with your couples' therapy," Shepard cut in drily, "Would you mind accompanying me to the shuttle bay, Kaidan? I'm not boarding the shuttle with a psychotic without backup." She turned and left the cockpit without waiting for a response.
Kaidan slapped Joker on the back – gently, in consideration of the man's brittle bones – and turned to follow her. "Duty calls," he called over his shoulder to Joker.
"Duty?" Joker shot back, "Is that what you're calling it these days?"
~x~
Three human biotics sat in the shuttle headed to the Teltin facility later that morning. Shepard took a minute to reflect on how 'human' and 'biotic' were where the similarities of this squad ended before Jack interrupted her musings.
"I'd forgotten how much I hated this place," the tattooed woman growled, staring out the shuttle window as they approached. "See the landing pad?" she continued, pointing at their target, "has to be on the roof, or the vegetation would overgrow it in a few hours."
"Shepard," EDI's voice came over their coms, "I am picking up thermal signatures everywhere. Except at your landing zone."
That can't be right, Shepard thought, it's a deserted facility. "Something's distorting the sensors," she offered back to EDI.
"This was a secret Cerberus facility," Kaidan pointed out.
"And they build their equipment to last," Jack appended. "Assholes." She paused for a moment and sighed, "It was a mistake coming back here." She nearly whined the last part.
"Hey," Kaidan said, getting her attention, "It's gonna be ok."
"I'm fine," Jack replied, more to convince herself than them, "ok, let's get on the ground."
~x~
They made their way through the deserted facility as Jack shared her returning memories, her comments bitter and filled with pain. The more the other woman spoke, Shepard began to see the hurt underneath the anger and she felt a twinge of sympathy. Although Shepard didn't have the type of painful experiences Jack – or even Kaidan – had suffered as a result of being biotic, even she had felt the occasional sting of prejudice due to her abilities. True, she had been on an Alliance ship when she was originally 'diagnosed' with biotic tendencies, and under the watchful eye of her mother, who was the ship's XO, but even those facts couldn't shield her from the gawking stares, the avoidance. She couldn't imagine being alone and left to suffer as Jack had. Yet another reason on her growing list of reasons to hate Cerberus.
They approached a security console that was – curiously – already active. The log appeared to be replaying a conversation between two Teltin personnel.
The Illusive Man requested operation logs again. He's getting suspicious.
When we get results, he won't care what we did. But if he knew…
He won't find out.
"Strange," Kaidan mused, "Sounds like they went against orders."
"He didn't say what they were hiding from the Illusive Man," Jack shot back bitterly.
"I'm more interested in who turned the damn thing on," Shepard said, cutting them off. She was beginning to feel the hair on the back of her neck stand up. This place was giving her a bad feeling.
"Yeah," Kaidan replied softly, and Shepard saw him checking his pistol, "good point."
"Let's move out," Shepard motioned them forward and they entered the next room.
As they climbed down a ruined, overgrown ramp, Kaidan's urgent voice interrupted Jack's recount of her memories of her escape, "Commander!"
"I see them," Shepard replied coolly. Three red dots had appeared on her HUD. Enemies ahead. She stopped the team at the bottom of the ramp with a raised fist, leaning around cover to try to spot the enemies visually, instead of just virtually.
"Kaidan," Shepard ordered crisply, "you stay back."
"Like hell," he returned sharply.
"Kaidan," she replied, ignoring the fact that he was disobeying an order and appealing to him on a personal, not professional , level, "I can't take the chance that fighting will dislodge that thing in your head, trigger it, maybe kill you…" she trailed off, pleading with him to understand.
Kaidan did understand. And her words made him suddenly realize what she had meant by 'I can't trust you – right now.' She couldn't trust the leash – not him. While he appreciated her concern, he had enough empirical evidence to dispute it, and he opened his mouth to tell her so before Jack interrupted.
"Look, Boyscout fought his way through a prison ship full of mercs to rescue me, and he's still standing," Jack made his case for him impatiently. "So are you two lovebirds gonna fuck or fight?"
There was just a moment of total silence before Kaidan heard Shepard try unsuccessfully to suppress a laugh (whether it was in response to the unexpected nickname or Jack's typically blunt phrasing, he didn't know, but knowing Shepard, he'd guess both) and then she responded, "Fine. Let's move." The instant later she charged ahead in a blur of biotics and inhuman speed at the first red dot on the HUD. With that target dead, she pulled out her shotgun and took on the second – up close and personal.
Kaidan and Jack dispatched the final varren with a combination of pull and warp. Then Jack turned to him and commented dryly, "Where did she learn that?"
"Not sure," Kaidan replied shaking his head, "but we used to travel with a krogan…"
"And she calls me psychotic?" Jack scoffed, "Crazy bitch herself."
Kaidan decided keeping his mouth shut was the safest option and they moved up to rejoin Shepard.
~x~
They made their way steadily through the facility and Shepard was both not surprised when they encountered their first group of mercs – it had only confirmed her earlier suspicions, and she thanked her years of combat experience for making her instincts so sharp – and pleased that her fears for Kaidan's safety had proved to be unfounded. He still fought as fiercely as she remembered, and they quickly fell into their old, synchronous habits. She did notice, however, that his biotics were even more impressive than she remembered, and made a mental note to ask him about the change later.
Her sympathies for Jack increased steadily as the picture of what had really happened at the Teltin facility unfolded. Although the events hadn't played out as Jack said she remembered, the actuality was no less brutal or horrific. Shepard found herself wanting to destroy this place, and all remnants of its inhuman past, nearly as much as she knew the young biotic did. She motioned her team forward to the next room, taking point.
They quickly took cover as they realized the room was occupied by a large group of mercs. As they did, they overheard the leader – a krogan – on his com.
"Hey Aresh, it's Kureck. Yeah, the intruders are here. You want them dead, we have to talk creds. You promised us lots of salvage but this place is a waste," he rumbled, then brought his hand up to his ear to listen for a response over the com.
"Fine – we'll put them down," he said in apparent response to the reply, "Then I'm coming in there and we're gonna talk salvage."
"Little cocky, isn't he?" Shepard muttered.
"Why do they always like to talk so much?" Kaidan wondered to her, "You'd think they'd learn – just shut up and fight."
"Yeah, let's not give them any tips though, huh?" Shepard answered him with a grin.
She leaned around the crate that served as her cover, pulled out her assault rifle, and shot a spray of incendiary rounds into the main concentration of mercs. One fell, but most just scattered for cover.
"Flanking positions," she called her orders to Jack and Kaidan, "biotics as you see the opportunity. The big guy is mine. Kaidan, can you do something about his barrier?"
Kaidan threw a warp at Kureck, dropping the krogan's barrier, and moved to follow Shepard's orders. He saw her creep up, using her rifle in between cover to steadily destroy the krogan's armor with fiery rounds. When she saw it was weakened enough, she charged forward, biotics flaring.
Jack and Kaidan worked together to take out the other mercs, often combining their biotics for impressive detonations. When the last fell, they looked over to see Shepard, standing triumphant, dead krogan at her feet. When they approached her, Shepard placed both hands on his shoulders and bumped his helmet with hers – a long standing tradition from the old Normandy days. Then she stepped back and grinned through her visor.
"That was fun!" she exclaimed.
"Aw, shit," Jack grumbled. "You two fight like it is a fuck." Then she sobered and added, "Come on, my old cell should be the only room left."
"Yeah, can't wait to meet this Aresh guy," Shepard agreed as she approached the door Jack indicated and waited impatiently for Kaidan to hack the lock.
~x~
Shepard stood back and watched as Kaidan followed Jack through her old cell, letting her recount her memories, offering supportive comments along the way and decided that she was grateful that things had worked out the way they had. If she had known the facility was inhabited by mercs, she would have left Kaidan on the Normandy, regardless of her reluctance to deal with Jack on her own. But, she realized, the mission might have ended a lot differently. She wasn't sure she would have been able to persuade Jack to put her past behind her and let Aresh go. But Kaidan had stepped in and his quiet words had reached the younger biotic. Shepard still felt some jealous twinges over their growing bond, but she was a lot more secure in her relationship with Kaidan after last night, and she figured the feeling would subside in time. And after what she had seen and heard in Teltin, she didn't begrudge Jack the comfort that Kaidan offered.
When Jack was done with her tour, they walked back to the shuttle in silence and Shepard gave the pilot the go signal. She watched quietly as Jack studied the detonator Kaidan had handed her after he had set the bomb in her cell, silently counting time and judging safe distance. When she knew they were clear, she nodded to Jack and pounded on the door to the hatch to warn the pilot. An instant later, a distant explosion signaled Teltin's destruction. Shepard looked back from the view of the smoke plume out the shuttle window and saw Kaidan studying her. When their eyes met, he gave her a grin and nod. She agreed wholeheartedly with his unspoken message. It was good to work together again.
~x~
Shepard was in her cabin reviewing reports when the knock at her door came. This time she expected it, and so she was not surprised at all when she opened the door and Kaidan stood on the other side. She stepped back and motioned him in.
"Kaidan," she greeted him quietly and led the way to the sitting area of the cabin, "how is Jack?"
"Better," he answered her as he took the seat she indicated and seated herself nearby, turning to face him, "it was tough for her to face all of that, but it was the right choice. She'll be able to put it behind her now. Thank you for helping her."
"I was wrong," Shepard said quietly, "and I might have blown the whole thing. I'm so glad you were there, that you were able to help Jack through it." She lowered her head, stared at a spot on the floor beyond his feet.
"Shepard," Kaidan said softly, reaching out to touch her face, then used gentle fingers under her chin to raise it so she would meet his eyes, "you were acting out of concern – I didn't understand." He sighed, "I guess we've had a lot of misunderstandings lately."
She nodded. That was an understatement. "I didn't try hard enough to make it clear," she said solemnly, "I was too angry."
"Yeah, I own my part of that…" he trailed off, then plunged ahead. "Listen, Horizon was…"
Shepard cut him off with a soft kiss. "It's been a long day. Let's not make it more emotional than it already was." She moved closer, into his arms and he responded, closing them around her, "I know we need to talk but … not now. Now, will you just hold me?"
He nodded although he knew she couldn't see it, and placed a gentle kiss on the top of her head. They sat there, in the silence she had requested, each giving comfort and taking it in return.
~x~
Miranda took a deep breath before she reached for the control panel to start the holo-conference. She was fairly sure that her boss was not going to be happy with her report, and she cringed at the thought of his displeasure. Once she had steeled herself enough, she watched as his holo formed before her and rushed to speak first, hoping to head off the criticism with an apology.
"Sir, I'm sorry about the Teltin facility," she said in a rush.
The Illusive Man studied her in silence for a moment and then he waved the hand holding his lit cigarette in her direction. "Teltin was expendable – it served its purpose long ago," he told her, dismissing her apology, "I'm more concerned about the current distractions on the Normandy."
"Sir?" Miranda replied in question.
"EDI informs me that Alenko spent three hours in Shepard's cabin yesterday," he filled in, his voice colored with an emotion Miranda didn't recognize, "And that there are no recordings – visual or audio – of the activities. EDI also informs me that when Alenko left, his clothing was wet. I think we can draw our own conclusions."
"They used the shower to avoid detection," Miranda filled in.
"I'm sure that's not the only way they used the shower," the Illusive Man replied dryly, "Then they rush off to blow up a Cerberus base."
Miranda nodded. "Do you want me to keep them separated, Sir?" she asked for clarification.
"Not necessary," came his reply, "I don't object to their activities, I only object to our goals being delayed. I think it's time they had a reminder of the larger picture." The last he said more to himself than Miranda. "That will be all, Miranda," he said to her now, ending the conference.