A new Beginning

Will she see me cry when I stumble and fall?

Does she hear my voice in the night when I call?

Wipe away your tears it gonna be alright.

I fought to be so strong, I guess you knew:

I was afraid you'd go away too…

It was a dark morning, the first one Grace had seen in all the time she'd lived by the sea.

For a brief moment as she opened her eyes it dawned on her how strange the darkness was, and for a brief moment everything was the same as it always had been.

Until memory returned.

The feeling deep in the pit of her stomach, heavy and sickening, was back and she didn't know how they were going to make it through the day. But she got up regardless and went about the task of dressing and brushing her hair. She was in such a turmoil – what would she do first, what were they going to do?

Sara was still sleeping, so Grace closed the door behind her as she left the bedroom and glanced absently across the hall. What was she going to do with the corpses? The graves were all full…Hadn't Malaika said that? – But they had to be moved didn't they? She couldn't live in this house with two bodies upstairs…

Grace supposed she could bury them in the garden, and her and Sara could have their own funeral, private, secure…she wasn't strong enough to dig up the hard ground…but she knew someone who was.

Checking on Sara, who wouldn't be awake for a while yet, she closed the door and rushed downstairs and out of the house. She wasn't, however, prepared for the giddy sense of freedom, which took her over as she entered the cold air.

Barely stopping to catch her breath, the pretty girl began the brisk walk to the only person who would help her.

Grace's knock sounded feeble and weak on the glass door, so the second time she banged a little louder. "Jay?" She called her voice sounding funny and high-pitched. "Jay! Jay are you home?" Grace tapped again. "Please…?"

Her mind was spinning and nothing made any sense, where was he? He couldn't have…not already…Grace shook her head, no. Jay wouldn't leave without her; he wouldn't leave without saying a goodbye at least. Would he?

Yes, yes he would say goodbye. She knew him well enough to know this by heart…and yet he wasn't at home and neither, it seemed, was Ved.

She paced for a moment and stopped dead in her tracks. They were alone now. Her and Sara were on their own.

He'd let go; like she told him too and now she had to truly move on also. Without looking back Grace took the walk home slowly.

Ved groaned and turned over in his bed; he wished that damn girl would stop banging on the door!

Jay had gone out for a walk, he remembered reluctantly pulling himself out of bed to answer by looking out of the window.

He saw the retreating figure he recognised as Grace and shrugged, she'd be back – if Jay had given her enough of the right signals. And if he hadn't? Ved smirked over his shoulder at the random girl sleeping naked in his bed, there would always be another one willing to give him pleasure…!

She didn't feel much different today than she had yesterday, last week, two years ago! She still felt the same as she always had. Light and airy, happiness that was branded on her heart, a happiness that had come from such a loving childhood, slightly clumsy, a little awkward and, even though people told her she was pretty, Grace felt her simple plain self.

Poor Sara, Grace thought silently, being left in the hands of me! Her childhood was being cut short, as this death would cause her to grow up if the illness ever let her. Grace promised herself on that slow walk, that she would let Sara be a child for as long as she could, and she would do her best by the little girl, even if that meant sacrificing her own wants. Wants were only selfish anyway, Grace reasoned, it's the needs that are important.

Today was the beginning of the rest of their lives and it was up to her to decide what they were going to do next. The city seemed a logical place to go, more people, more food and supplies, but it was a frightening option for she didn't know what they might find there. Grace needed people and right now it looked as if she had none and perhaps she may find adults there in the city?

Yes that was what they'd do, and although it seemed crazy and reckless Grace knew they had no other choice.

"Sara!" Her voice echoed in the dark and almost empty house. Grace flicked a light switch but nothing happened. "What the…?" She tried another electrical appliance and again got nothing.

The electric had been switched off, damn it!

"Gra…" Sara stood at the top of the stairs rubbing sleepy eyes.

"Sara go and get dressed please – sensible trousers and shoes…from the bottom drawer…" Grace ushered her into her room and proceeded to go into her own.

Grace was wearing a fitted white shirt with ¾ length sleeves and a skirt and trainers for the pure fact it was the first clean thing she could find! Quickly she changed the skirt for a pair of green kick-flare trousers with huge turn-ups and re-laced her white trainers. The trousers were a comfy material and easy to move in and she figured that would be best.

Grace was surprised at how calm and sensible she was being as she began to pack her green side-bag. Clean underwear, pair of black trousers and red top were the first things she put her hands on – and they went in too, her tiny makeup bag (okay it wasn't essential but…!). And then more sensible things: soap, toothbrush and paste, shampoo and conditioner…(when the bag seemed to be filling up quickly she lost the conditioner…) a hairbrush and tiny mirror. Lip balm went in her pocket along with her cash card.

Was that it? She wondered as she tipped her bedside drawer out onto the bed and quickly scooped up her contraceptive pills and all the condoms she'd collected 'just in case…' She blushed and felt stupid, but she didn't remove them from the bag…

The she picked up a photo in a frame that sat on her bedside, a family photo and wrapped it in the red top…lastly she buried her diary and pencils under everything else and taking a last longing look around her ransacked bedroom, went to find Sara.

The young girl was dressed in denim dungarees and a pink long-sleeved top, on her feet were the glittery trainers and she was struggling to put on her pink fake-fur coat with the hood and gloves. "We going?" She asked softly standing still as Grace began pulling her hair into bunches

"Yes darling were going to the city for a while…so pick a favourite doll to bring with you huh?"

Sara didn't hesitate to pick up Sophie and gave the others a sorry glance.

"Okay." Grace said putting Sophie into Sara's pink backpack and fixing it on the child.

Taking Sara's hand she smiled weakly. "It's time to go…"

Both girls, sisters and friends, stood outside and looked up at their quaint house by the beach. It was supposed to be a miracle house, the house of dreams and although they'd had many happy times there they both felt cheated.

Living in this house had brought her Jay, a better friend than she could've wished for, and love. She didn't know if she was in love with him, but he had taught her something about love, even if neither realised it.

Then there was Beth, someone who she genuinely liked but she'd become very distant when Grace and Jay started getting closer, threatened by the competition. No competition as far as Grace was concerned, Beth was a million times prettier than she was.

And Malaika, sweet Mali, her kindred spirit – her soulmate – she somehow knew what Grace was thinking before she knew it herself and their bond had been so strong so priceless.

Grace sighed and patted her sisters pigtailed head gently giving them both only another minute or so to say their goodbyes and commit this place forever to memory.

Grace pulled her mother's coat tighter around her body and inhaled, closing her eyes she breathing in her warm Spanish scent. The coat was a dark rich green leather, fitted and floor-length, which was always saved for special occasions like going to the theatre. Well, Grace supposed pulling the collar up against the wind, the beginning of a new life is as special an occasion as ever…

"Come on then girly-girl." Her smile and voice were as warm as ever on the cold day as she willed Sara away from the house by taking her gloved hand in her own.

With one last glance back to the house, Grace turned her back on the past and walked into the future.