Chapter 14 - Adult Content

Not wanting to be near anyone, especially Charles, I blew off dinner and paced the floor of my room, spending most of the time thinking about how I was going to tell him that I like him only as a friend, without letting him know that my heart belonged to someone else.

At one point I did glance at the clock on my nightstand and saw that it was about the time everyone congregated in the parlor after dinner. I immediately wondered if Mr. Rochester was really going to come get me himself because I wasn't there. My breath caught as I listened for his footsteps in the hall or the sound of his knock on my door. As time passed and he didn't come for me, I didn't know whether to be hurt or thankful that I wasn't missed, so I went to bed.

Unfortunately, I woke up the next morning feeling awful due to lack of restful sleep and a bad dream. I dreamed that Blanche Ingram had banished me from Thornfield. That she had thrown all of my meager possessions on the lawn before slamming the huge front door in my face as Mr. Rochester stood behind her and looked on in amusement.

Wanting to hide under the covers all day, but knowing I couldn't, I reluctantly dragged myself out of bed and took a quick shower. While I was dressing, someone knocked on my door. Before I could answer it, Adele barreled into my room and landed on my bed.

'Miss Eyre, you missed all of the excitement last night. Mr. Eshton took Uncle Edward to the hospital!'

I panicked as I pictured Mr. Rochester sick or worse, dead.

'Oh my God! Is he alright?'

She laughed.

'It was just to see if his hand was broken. It's not and he is fine.'

I breathed a huge sigh of relief. Adele noticed.

'You like my uncle, don't you.'

Not expecting that, I stuttered,

'Of course I like him. He is a great boss.'

She laughed again.

'That's not what I meant and you know it. . . Are you ready to go?'

As we made our way down the stairs, I saw Mr. Rochester walking with Charles out the front door. I watched with great interest as Charles put his luggage in his car, hugged Mr. Rochester and then waved as he drove away. Needless to say, I was very relieved to see him go because I knew I did not have the strength to confront him today.

Heading to the kitchen with a new found appetite, I saw Mrs. Fairfax sitting at the table with her head in one hand and a half empty wine glass in the other. She looked up at me and groaned,

'If I could offer you some words of advice, Jane, be careful what you wish for because you just might get it!'

I put my hand on her shoulder.

'Is everything alright, Mrs. Fairfax?'

She shook her head,

'Don't mind me.' She then sat up in her chair and her eyes grew large. 'Didn't you hear the news? Mr. Rochester is going to propose to Miss Ingram!' she said with as much excitement as she could muster.

My heart ripped in two as I collapsed on a chair.

'How do you know?' I asked trying to sound calm, cool and collected when I really wanted scream NOOOOOOOO! at the top of my lungs.

She rolled her eyes.

'Blanche told me herself. In fact, she has been running around here saying that she overheard Mr. Rochester telling Charles that he was finally going to do it. Don't you think that's exciting?'

'I'm so excited that I have no words to tell you how I am feeling at this moment,' I replied dryly.

She didn't seem to notice my lack of enthusiasm and blathered,

'I wonder if he will do it here or take her somewhere special? Maybe he will do it under the chestnut tree or in the garden. I guess it doesn't matter where it happens because he is going to marry that wonderful woman.'

Caught up in my own despair, I didn't hear the sarcasm in her voice. My mouth dropped,

'You cannot be serious! Blanche doesn't deserve him. She doesn't deserve to lick the ground he walks on!'

Mrs. Fairfax laughed at my reaction.

'Jane, this is not like you. Where is all of this hostility coming from?'

I got up and pushed my chair in.

'I need to go teach Adele.'

I spent the rest of the morning trying to take my mind off of what Mrs. Fairfax had told me, but it was impossible. Adele could see that I was distracted and took pity on me by not giving me a hard time and doing her work. We took a quick lunch break and resumed her lessons in the afternoon. Adele, seeing that I was still discombobulated said,

'Miss Eyre, I wouldn't worry about what is bothering you so much. It will all work out in the end.'

I hugged her and almost started to cry.

'I wish that was true, Adele.

After we finished up a very long afternoon of comparing fractions, I headed for my room where I changed into a sports bra and shorts. I was on my way to take out my frustrations on the heavy punching bag when I ran into Blanche. She smiled a huge, toothy smile.

'Did you hear the good news, Jane? Edward is taking my advice and is going to propose.'

I stopped dead in my tracks.

'Taking your advice?'

She laughed.

'All men need a little nudge in the right direction. I just told him that he deserves to be happy so. . .'

I interrupted.

'And you think his marrying you will make him happy?'

She put her hand on my shoulder.

'Jane, Edward and I are meant to be together. This has been coming for a very long time.' She looked down her nose at me. 'Long before you showed up at Thornfield.'

Looking directly at her I replied,

'I don't know what to say except. . . I hope Mr. Rochester is very happy with his choice,' and continued on down the stairs.

When I got to the gym I put on my gloves and began punching and kicking the heavy bag like a woman who was fighting for her very survival. In a only a few minutes I was sweaty and disheveled, but didn't care and was so lost in an adrenaline fueled rage that I didn't notice Mr. Rochester had come in the room.

'Nice kick, Jane,' he said with a huge smile that I didn't see.

I grunted and continued pummeling the bag.

'Are you upset about something?' he asked as he walked over to me.

I gave the bag one last swift kick and lost all sense of control. After throwing my gloves on the ground, I whipped around and began hitting his chest over and over while spewing my innermost feelings.

'How can you marry that stuck-up, selfish bitch! You deserve so much better than her. She doesn't love you like I do. No one will ever love you like I do!' I kept beating Mr. Rochester's chest until he had had enough. Somehow, he managed to get behind me and pin my arms across my stomach. 'You're hurting me!' I cried out, struggling against his body.

He tightened his grip.

'Then stop struggling, Jane!'

It was then that I felt his arousal pressing into my lower back. My body immediately relaxed into his even though I knew it was wrong to do so. He was as good as engaged and I would normally not consider having sex with a man who was betrothed to someone else, but my body had other ideas.

So I pictured Mr. Rochester and Blanche on their wedding day trying to make myself stop what I was about to do. But then I asked myself, how could I deny myself this one glimpse of my idea of heaven? I had fantasized about this day since we met. This was my one chance, I reasoned and I was going to take it. Hopefully this one act would sustain me for the rest of my life because I knew there would never be another man. I would never love anyone like I loved Edward Fairfax Rochester.

And when I felt his lips caress down my neck, I decided that after I did whatever came naturally, I was going to have to leave Thornfield for good, knowing that I would be unable to live under the same roof with Mr. Rochester if I couldn't have him all to myself.

Turning to face him, I forcefully grabbed the back of his head and pressed my mouth to his. Now, having had no real world experience with kissing, I just brushed my lips softly over his, barely touching them. Mr. Rochester responded immediately by tightened his arms around me and saying,

'No. Like this,' right before his mouth plundered mine.

My body tremble as our tongues hungrily teased and tasted, giving and taking until I was lost, almost drowning in the pleasure of his kiss.

His arms loosened, and before I knew it, Mr. Rochester effortlessly removed my sports bra, and pushed me up against the mirrored wall. Dropping to his knees, he devoured my breasts with his lips and tongue, licking and sucking and rolling over them again and again like a starving animal. I shuddered with delight as the contrast between the coolness of the mirror on my back and the warmth of his mouth on my sensitive skin only intensified the pleasure.

Mr. Rochester then kissed down my stomach until he reached the waistband of my shorts where he paused for a moment before ripping them and my panties down. As I was stepping out of them, he braced his arm between my thighs and began ravishing me wildly with his tongue. I leaned back against the mirror and writhed over him. When Mr. Rochester stopped abruptly, I groaned loudly in protest.

He stood up and our eyes locked. All I could see was unbridled desire in his flashing black orbs. It was at that moment I realized there was no way I would be able to stop him even if I wanted to. But I didn't want to. So, with trembling hands, I pushed his shorts and boxer briefs to the floor and waited to see what was going to happen next.

Mr. Rochester let out a primal moan before roughly taking my face in his hands and assaulting my lips with his. His tongue probed my mouth violently while his hands caressed down my body and hooked under my bottom. He then picked me up as if I weighed nothing and slammed me up against the mirror. I wrapped my legs around his hips allowing him to plunge deep inside of me. Thankfully, my body didn't resist the invasion and I was able to cry out in pleasure and not in pain.

With every powerful thrust of his body I could hear the giant mirror crackle and pop as I felt it shift behind me. It could break into a million pieces for all I cared. Nothing was going to stop this moment, I thought as we both surrendered loudly to the hunger that had been building up between us for some time.

After the last torrent racked my body, I carefully peeled myself off of the mirror and he put me down. I quickly gathered up my clothes and made my way for the door as Mr. Rochester pulled up his shorts. He looked shocked.

'Jane, what are you doing? Where are you going?'

I turned to him and feeling a bit exposed, tried to cover myself up the best I could with the clothes I had in my hand.

'I cannot stay here if you are going to marry Blanche. I must go. . . now!'

He laughed so hard his body shook and tears ran down his face. I was furious.

'Are you laughing at me? Was this all a huge joke to you?'

Wiping away the tears, he walked towards me and tried to grab my arm.

'No, Jane. This was no joke.'

I pulled away, dropping my clothes, and let him have it.

'Was this a mercy fuck then, Mr. Rochester? Did the master of the house take pity on the poor, plain governess by allowing me one quick glimpse of heaven? And now that you have had your fun, are you going to cast me aside because it meant nothing to you? Well it meant something to me! I am not a machine. I cannot continue working here like this never happened!

'I know I am not beautiful like Blanche, but I deserve just as much respect as she does.' I stood up straight and held my head high. 'In fact, I think I deserve more!'

He took me in his arms.

'Jane, you are right! You deserve much more, a thousand times more. This morning I told Eshton that I was finally going to propose to you, not Blanche. I guess she overheard us talking and assumed I was speaking about her. I love you, Jane. I have never and could never love Blanche Ingram!'

I must have looked like I didn't believe him because he blurted out,

'What, you doubt my feelings for you?'

'Yes!'

'And what do you say now?'

My mouth was quickly captured by his, but I couldn't respond and pulled away.

'I see you have no faith in me.'

I shook my head.

'How can I? You let me believe that you were going to marry Blanche!'

'I did no such thing! Other people did. I just never corrected them. How else was I to find out how you felt about me? he smiled while caressing my cheek.

'Well, you could have asked me,' I replied peevishly.

'Yes, but would you have told me the truth?'

I didn't answer him.

'Jane, we are meant to be together. You have to know, I fell in love with you the moment you pinned that drunk up against the wall in the bar.' He chuckled, 'I'll let you in on a little secret. . . I was very jealous of that man!'

I looked deep into his eyes and saw our future flash before me. It was all I could hope for and more, much more. When Mr. Rochester brought his mouth down to mine, this time I kissed him back. He then pulled away and laughed,

'This is not how I wanted to do this, but. . .' He got down on one knee and looked up at me with his dark, sexy eyes. 'Jane, I truly believe that God put you on this earth to compliment me. I feel as though you are my second self, and that if you ever left me I would bleed inwardly because we are somehow connected to one another. I love you like my. . . no. . . more than my own flesh. Please, Jane, I beg you. Take me as your husband, and make my happiness. I promise, I will make yours.'

How could I say no. I got down on my knees, took his face in my hands and kissed Mr. Rochester with all of the love I was feeling for him. He pulled away from me again and joked,

'You know, you are going to have to start calling me Edward now.'

I smiled and resumed kissing him. We remained in that position on the floor, kissing and laughing until he helped me up. When we were standing again, he stood back and silently admired my naked body. Then he shook his head.

'I can't believe these words are about to come out of my mouth right now. . . Put on your clothes, Jane.'

'Why? Where are we going?' I asked as I gathered up my things and dressed.

He smiled,

'Up to our room.'