RESIGNED PART 14

This has been Beta'd by the lovely Jessie Blackwood, thank you…..Think I might send her my dissertation as well. Thanks everyone for reading and commenting as well. I really appreciate it.

Owen was entirely grateful that Jack had given him a good excuse to get out for a couple of hours; he had really needed a shower and a change of clothes. When he arrived back at the Hub he found Jack and a slightly nervous-looking Ianto sitting on the couch, two empty mugs on the table in front of them. As he stepped through the cog door both Jack and Ianto looked in his direction and he offered up a cheery wave.

"How are you feeling, Ianto?"

The young Welshman shrugged, not really certain how he was feeling but he could sense a headache looming because the back of his neck was beginning to ache.

"I'm all right thank you, Dr Harper."

Owen hesitated slightly, taken aback by being called Dr Harper, it just sounded wrong coming from Ianto's lips. The medic shrugged off the strangeness of Ianto's formality and breezed across the hub, stomping down into his domain, yanking off his leather jacket as he went. The jacket ended up slung carelessly onto his chair as Owen made his way over to examine the machinery analysing Ianto's blood samples. He could hear Jack and Ianto talking quietly between themselves and was pleased that Ianto seemed a little calmer now. He studied the readouts on his computer screen and sighed, there was still nothing apparent in the blood results. It was somewhat puzzling to him as he had been expecting to find traces of sedatives at the very least. Shaking his head he ambled back up the steps and perched his arse on the little table next to the sofa where Jack and Ianto were sitting.

"So," Owen began, "have you been able to remember anything yet? Any flashes? Anything at all?"

The young Welshman turned wide blue eyes in his direction, and Owen sucked in a sharp breath thinking just how young Ianto actually looked when stripped of his usual tailored veneer.

"There's nothing. My entire life is a complete blank, I really have no idea who I am, just that I should know. It's difficult to explain," he shrugged. "I look at you two and something in the back of my head is telling me that I know who you are. I just can't get at it. It's like someone has flicked off the switch that says "this is your life, Ianto Jones". Someone is home but the lights are all off. I can breathe, I can talk, I can understand you, but beyond that, there's nothing. I feel as if I should be scared, but I have no frame of reference for that." He trailed off and looked back at Jack. "You said something about a diary? Perhaps I should take a look at it?"

Owen glanced at Jack, his eyes widening with surprise. "You actually know where Teaboy hides his diary? My God, Jack, why the hell didn't you say so before?" the medic demanded. Jack's responded by looking mildly annoyed and Owen could tell that the diary was not something Jack was happy to show around. Owen was pretty certain that Jack had already read it cover to cover and he wondered if Ianto had known that before he had lost his memory. He watched Jack rise to his feet.

"It is your diary, Ianto, but I will be honest with you, it doesn't make for nice reading," Jack warned. "Just understand that there are some things in there that will be difficult for you to learn and may need some explanation." Jack was clearly struggling with the notion and Owen found himself secretly looking forward to hearing what his young Welsh colleague had written in that mysterious book of his. Aside from copious amounts of juicy gossip there was also the possibility it would actually help the young man remember who he was.

"I suppose I am going to have to trust you two to help me understand." Ianto was looking up at Jack and Owen realised that even now in his current state Ianto was clearly looking to Jack to guide him.

"Ianto mate, before Jack goes and gets your book, be aware that anything we talk about will be in confidence because when you get your memory back I know for a fact that you will be highly pissed off when you realise that Jack has had access to your journal. You'll probably be pretty pissed off with me too."

Ianto was still looking up at Jack as he nodded slowly in acceptance, a faint smile gracing his pale features.

"Like I said, I have no choice but to trust you to be discreet. I can trust you, can't I?"

Jack was looking down at Ianto, a mix of compassion and apprehension in his eyes. Owen watched as Jack gently brushed at Ianto's forehead with his fingertips. He found it difficult not to be surprised by the tenderness in that gesture, Owen had never seen Jack be so gentle with him.

"Yes, you can trust both of us," Jack reassured him. "We just want to help you remember what happened so that we can figure out why this was done to you. We want to have Ianto Jones back the way he should be. You have no idea how much he is missed."

Owen tried not to balk at that and he watched as Jack turned away and headed in the direction of his office. Ianto's fidgeting brought his attention back to the matter in hand and Owen watched as the young man rubbed at the back of his neck and grimaced.

"Are you in pain?"

Ianto nodded. "Yeah, just aching in my neck. Well, in my head, really. I guess I must be tired."

Owen was immediately on alert. "I'll just get my scanner and check you over. I can give you something for the pain if you like," he said, getting up.

"No, it's okay. Not knowing what's been happening to me makes me reluctant to take any tablets," Ianto explained.

"Nothing is showing up in your blood samples so a couple of aspirin shouldn't do you any harm."

"Alright, thank you."

Owen headed back down to the autopsy bay and retrieved the Bekaran deep tissue scanner and a box of aspirin from the drugs cabinet. He took a moment to have another look at the blood results but still nothing was apparent. Owen knew it was unlikely anything unusual would show up at this late stage even though the tests had another two hours to run. By the time he got back to the sofa Jack was already there, proffering a leather covered book which Ianto took carefully in both hands.

"Before you get started on that let me just make sure everything else is okay." Owen held out the scanner to make his point.

Jack nodded and stepped away, quietly grateful that Owen was being so attentive and understanding. When Owen was in doctor mode he was an entirely different person to the scathing, sarcastic bastard they all knew and loved. It made Jack appreciate him all the more.

"How about I make some coffee then?"

Owen was shaking his head. "Nah mate, your coffee looks like North Sea oil. I'd go for a cup of tea though."

Jack was smiling. "Ianto, how about you?"

Ianto picked his the empty mug from the table and passed it to Jack. "No, thank you. Could I just have a glass of water please?"

"No problem."

Jack left them to it and Owen got busy with his scanner. Ianto watched in fascination as Owen waved the peculiar looking device about close to his body. Owen was intent on the little display that cast a faint light across his angular face. A silence fell between them as Owen concentrated on what he was doing and Ianto focused his gaze on the enigmatic book that sat on his lap waiting to reveal his identity. He couldn't help but feel vaguely nervous about what he might find, especially after the warnings supplied by Owen and Jack. Ianto wondered if he were a bad person, or if he had done something terrible in the past and perhaps somehow he had made himself forget. A twinge of fear settled into his stomach and made him feel slightly sick at the thought. Surely though, Jack and Owen would not be so kind and supportive if he had done something wrong? His hands nervously balled into fists where they rested on the book, his fingernails digging into his palms.

"I'm not a bad person, am I?" His voice was tremulous and it made Owen stop what he was doing. The medic lowered his scanner and looked at Ianto was a serious expression on his face.

"Whatever makes you think that?"

Ianto could only shrug. "What if I did this to myself?"

Owen had no idea how to respond to that so he offered up a cheeky grin. "Yes, you really are a rotten sod, you're an anal git who has a neat freak fetish and the only thing you are any good for is making coffee and shagging Jack."

Ianto's eyes went saucer wide. "I beg your pardon?"

Owen sighed and promptly returned to his task. "You're not a bad person, Ianto, as to whether or not you did this to yourself," he paused, a thoughtful expression on his face, "it's quite possible that we may never find out unless you remember what happened. You are certainly clever enough to cover your own tracks, though why you would feel the need to erase your memory I have to admit is beyond me. You certainly didn't use Retcon, which would be our usual method for a memory wipe. If you did do this to yourself then I would like to know how you managed it because as it stands I haven't a clue."

Ianto was still gaping at him. "Were you joking about me and Jack?"

Owen shook his head. "He is really worried about you. I don't know what exactly your relationship is, I am not entirely certain I want to know. However, I do know that he is very important to you and I feel sure that unless he did something to hurt you—," He hesitated, not really sure how to continue. "—let's just say that you and Jack really care about each other, the rest, you will need to ask him." Owen turned his attention back to his scanner and frowned. "Your blood pressure is too high, not seriously so but I want to keep an eye on it. I need you to tell me if that headache gets any worse, okay?"

"Yes, of course."

His job done, Owen took his scanner away back down to the autopsy bay.

Jack placed a glass of water in front of Ianto and then he sat down beside him, a mug of tea in his hand.

"Is everything okay?"

Owen joined them, resuming his place on the edge of the table.

"He's fine, just a slightly elevated blood pressure."

Ianto was gazing down at the book under his hands. He could feel Jack and Owen watching him intently and it made Ianto feel like a bug under a microscope. He wanted to be alone to look through this book, but part of him was also grateful for their presence, it was somehow reassuring knowing that they were there. Absently he lifted a hand and rubbed at the back of his neck. The pain was increasing at an alarming rate and Ianto scrunched up his eyes.

"Ow, shit that really hurts."

Owen got to his feet straight away. "Come on. I want you back down in the autopsy bay."

Ianto was hesitant. He really wanted to look at the book, but curiosity warred with caution. He ignored Owen's request and reached to open the cover, but as he did so the pain sharpened dramatically and his body convulsed. The diary slid off his lap to the floor and Ianto was forced upright as bright white agony exploded into his head. Owen and Jack caught him as he fell into unconsciousness, his boneless body supported between them.

"Fuck! There was nothing on the scanner, Jack," Owen explained urgently as Jack hoisted Ianto over his shoulder and carried him in the direction of the autopsy bay. Owen was a pace behind. The moment Ianto was put down on the metal exam table he let out a blood freezing scream and violently kicked out. Jack jumped back out of the way as Ianto's feet missed him by inches. Ianto's hands flew to his head and his fingers clawed at his scalp.

"Oh, God, get it out! Get it out! Please help me!"