Disclaimer: I own nothing but the plot. All the characters are owned by the respective owners (even though they abuse them).
Please keep in mind English is not my first language!
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»I'm sorry your mommy's mean.« Sam said as soon as Bella's foot steped in the room.
Bella droped her head and sighed. »You know Sam, so am I.«
She searched John's eyes. Something happened while she was gone, Bella just knew it.
John inclined his head to the kichentte and Bella followed him there.
»What happened?« Bella asked biting her lip.
John was discracted by the teeth in her soft lip for a second or two.
He cleared his troat. »Uh…. Sam asked me if all mothers were like that.«
Bella's jaw droped. Out of all the things she imagined, that was not one of them. That just won't do, not at all.
»Don't worry. I explained to him that some people aren't good parents. He acepted that somewhat. I think.«
Bella nodded. On the outside she looked calm and collected but in reality Bella really wanted to strangle Renee, now more then ever.
»You know guys, most mommys love their children.« Bella said durring breakfast.
Dean nodded. He remembered how it felt to be held by his mom, how she kissed him, tucked him in at night, soothed him when he had a nightmare. Sam just stared at Bella.
He didn't remember his mother and he didn't watch the kids at school with their moms. He asked his dad a long time ago why he didn't have a mom and when John explained he never asked again. It was just one of those things that just were.
But somehow inside himself Sam resented the other children. They had their moms and Sam didn't. And he didn't want to see it.
»Are you sure?«
»Of course, Sam.« Bella asured him.
»How do you know that?« Sam questioned her. »I mean if your mom's mean why do you think others aren't?«
Bella let out a breath of air. »Well I saw other moms. And my mother wasn't all that bad.«
As Sam, Dean and even John looked at her incredulously she smiled.
»Renee had her days. I remember times we had fun actually. Sure she wasn't all motherly but she was a fun friend to have.«
John snorted. 'How can she say that and look like she actually means it?'
»But you needed a mother.« He stated.
»Yes, sometimes I wished she was more responsible.« She stopped talking as she saw John staring her down.
»Okey, fine. I wish she was more a mom then a friend but that didn't happen, so I took what I had and made the best of it.«
»Kind of like your boys.« She wispered to John.
John paled. She was right. She was completley right.
But there was nothing that he could do about it right now. He had to get rid of the evil that was out for his family first. Until then his boys will have to do what Bella did – make the most of it.
That evening Bella had her first dream. A dream about a past life she lived. In it was John.
Her husband Jonathan, he loved her so. And she loved him equaly. But she was promised to another, a face familiar to Bella. But it was so far away and so blurry that she couldn't recognize him.
Jonathan was ripped from Isabelle by war. They were married for only two months before Jonathan was killed in action. Isabelle couln't live with the pain and died from a broken heart few months after her beloved husband.
That was how their lives always ended - one or the other died and the one left behind soon followed.
Bella woke drenched in sweat, gasping for air.
The pain, the pain of losing her husband it was so real. It hurt so much.
A sob escaped her and woke John.
»Are you okey?« He asked her, worry clear in his voice.
Another sob was all he got for an answer.
He slowly got up from the couch and approched her. If she was still having a nightmare he didn't want to scare her even more.
»Bella?« He spoke gently when he kneeled by her side. She didn't respond until he reached and took her hand. Then she launched herself to him sobing loudly.
John was so suprised by Bella's body weight they both fell on the floor. There he lay on the floor with Bella on top of him crying and holdin onto him like he was her life line. John didn't know what to do, what to say to calm her down.
»Dad. Is Bella okey?« Dean asked from his bed.
As John looked up he noticed Sams worried head hanging from the bed Bella was sleeping in. John barely had enough strenght to smile at him.
After all the things he saw, after all the things he did and after all the people he lost John has never felt this hopeless.
»She's fine.« He asurred his sons. »She just had a nightmare. Go back to sleep.«
Then he rolled Bella off him as much as he could with her griping his neck so tight he could barely breathe and stood up with Bella in his arms taking her to his couch. At least this way the boys would be able to sleep. He hoped.
»Shhhhh. It's okey.« He soothed Bella when he sat down and placed her in his lap. »I got you. You're safe.«
That helped nothing to calm Bella, her tears were hot on Johns neck pouring down the front of his shirt. Her arms so tight around him John was afraid she'd hurt herself.
He started to rock her like he did Sam and Dean when they were still babies and running his hand down her hair.
»It's okey, baby. I have you. I won't let anyone hurt you, baby. I promise.« He whispered in Bella's ear over and over again while he rocked her.
It took him quite some time to calm her or she calmed herself he didn't know. But she was quiet, it was all that mattered to John. Only sound coming from Bella now was harsh quick breaths and an occasional sob.
John kissed the top of her head when he heard her breathing even out.
He stood with her in his arms again and took her back to her and Sams bed.
As he placed her down Sam immediately rolled over and cuddled to Bella, never once opening her eyes she smiled, wraped her arms around Sammy and kissed his hair.
John smiled above them.
His was resolve breaking more by each minute he was with them, with her.
He needed to get away from her. At least for a little while.
Tomorrow he'll find a new case.
Tomorrow they will move on to another city.
Tomorrow.
But today he swooped down and pressed a tender kiss to Bellas forehead.
Thank you for reading.