"Thanks for the help." I groaned as I set myself down into the couch, rubbing my back. Turned out, standing and lifting plates into cupboards was not good for the spine. Surprise surprise.

Raph tapped the top of my head with a water bottle. I took it from him and swigged some down. "It's the least I could do."

He sat next to me, stretching out. My apartment was pretty much completely organized. Dishes put up. Decorations in place. Bed made. Clothes hung. I finally felt myself physically relax.

"Do you feel better than you did this morning?" He asked noticing me slump into the couch visibly.

I nodded, drinking more water. "It's nice to know everything is put away. I don't have to spend days putting things away like the last time I moved. It's stressful. Seeing all your stuff splattered around in boxes."

"Mmmm." He leaned his head back, staring at the ceiling. Which was closer than it was in my house. That's apartment living. I guess. "When was the last time you moved?"

I squeezed my bottle. There was no use trying to run from any of my shit anymore. It was like this glass bottle I had spent so long filling up and hiding had finally cracked and spilled out. There was no salvaging it anymore. And maybe it was better that way. I'd find out. "Almost four years ago. When I got that house. It was cheap and secluded. Everything I wanted at the time."

He laughed. "You were a picky one."

"Yeah, yeah." I smirked. I had been so desperate to get away when I bought that house, it seemed like a dream come true to find one like that. "It had a racoon in the attic! Who could pass that up! He even hissed at night for you."

Raph and I were cracking up as I described this fucking racoon. It had taken me a month to get him out of the house. Couldn't afford pest control. Couldn't bring myself to kill it. So I just knocked him out one day with a broom and drove him an hour out and dumped him in a nice little forest. And drove back.

"You drove an hour to get rid of a racoon?" He was close to crying with laughter at this point.

"I tried a mile away and he came back! I had already given the trap back to the farmer who let me borrow it. I couldn't ask for it back. So I drove him really really far." The farmer had been a nice little old lady who I befriended at the farmers market. She sold really good honey and used the traps when animals got too interested. She had a stroke a few months later and her family convinced her to come live with them and abandon her bee farm. Tried to sell me the bee farm for dirt cheap, but I wouldn't know what to do with it. What if I killed her bees?

"I feel like Don wants to do that with Mikey's cat sometimes." Raph was still catching his breath. He laughed between breaths. "Klunk knocks stuff on Donnie's desk and it drives him insane. I think the cat does that on purpose, I swear. He knows Mike would never let him get thrown out."

"Aw, I didn't know Mikey had a cat." I missed having a cat. A little buddy sleeping in your window. Jumping off your shit. Yelling at night.

Raph pulled out his phone and started scrolling through it. "Yeaaaah, here. He's a little turd, but he's sweet enough."

He showed me a picture of Klunk curled up asleep on a patched up couch. The orange furball was adorable.

"Wait, do you take pictures of the cat?" I laughed, snatching his phone and scrolling around. Sure enough, there were ten other pictures of Klunk in the same position and one yawning.

"No! Give it back!" He reached over me, but I ducked, continuing to scroll through nothing but pictures of of Klunk. Occasionally, there would be night picture of the city or his bike being worked on, but otherwise, only Klunk.

I jumped off the couch and ran behind the counter separating the den from the kitchen. "You do! That's all you got!"

Raphael ran over and snatched the phone glaring at me. "I got some of my bike too!"

"You love the cat." I grinned, meeting his stare.

"I like cats in general." He shrugged, his cheeks darkening.

I turned to the fridge, pulling out another water bottle. "I can't blame you, they're cute little bastards. Maybe I should get one."

"You should." He motioned to the fridge so I handed him a water too. "Have someone in the apartment with you."

"I thought you'd be around." I teased.

He rolled his eyes at me and went back over the couch. "I can't be here all the time."

"I know, I know." I sat back down next to him. "Want to watch the television find all the channels I get for free?"

"You ain't got cable?" He eyed me.

I found the television remote and turned it on, going straight to the settings. "Nah, that's expensive."

"I'll get Don to get you some for free."

"Isn't that illegal?"

"I think we do enough good work to warrant some free cable. Don't tell Leo though. He thinks we pay a cable bill."

I laughed. "A bit of a goodie two shoes?"

"Depends on what your asking about." He chuckled. "I'm gonna use the bathroom."

"Okay." He got up and left while I watched the TV file through my channels.

Raph was gone for a while. The television was long done with finding my thirty some channels. Did my cold leftover pizza give him the shits?

I got up and started to walk over to my room. The second I stood, I could hear shuffling coming from my room. He was starting to put a shoebox back on top of a final box I hadn't wanted to touch yet. For. Reasons. I felt my heart drop as our eyes locked.

"I- uh- didn't mean-"

"You didn't mean to dig through my shit? It just fell into your hands?" I narrowed my eyes. The rising tightness in my chest was making it hard to be angry. "Did you even have to use the bathroom?"

"Yeah!" He stood up, his voice wavering. "But, I kicked the box, and the shoebox fell over. Some stuff fell out...and...I looked through it."

"You didn't have to." I felt myself pulling at the edges of my shirt.

He looked at the floor. "No…I'm sorry."

I walked past him, picking up the shoebox and looking it over. I didn't want to open it. But. I did. I started to crack it open, but then slammed the lid back down. I felt Raph's hand on my arm.

"You don't have to if you're not ready."

"I'll never be ready." I breathed out forcefully before ripping the lid off and tossing it on my bed. My eyes met my own. Sparkling. Jason also smiled at me as he wrapped his arm around my shoulders. My veil waving in the wind. I watched my fingers slide across the picture. "That's Jason."

"Yeah?" Raph squeezed my arm softly.

I moved the lid aside and sat down, never taking my eyes of the picture. He sat down beside me as I pulled the smooth print out and rubbed it between my fingers. "We got married in March. I was avidly against a summer wedding."

I felt myself smiling. I could feel the crisp air of that day. I could hear him laughing. I could smell the lavender. Right underneath the picture was a dried piece of lavender tied with a white ribbon. I sniffed it, it still smelled. It was faded and stale, but it was there. It covered up Lily, another picture.

"That's my cat." I grinned. It was sad. Seeing her. Seeing Jason. But. I was happy. I handed him the picture. "That's Lily."

"She's prettier than Klunk." He smiled softly at me.

I shrugged. "I'm biased to agree."

I continued shuffling through the contents. Showing them to Raphael and telling stories about them. There was more than I remembered. But he sat there, nodding and listening, encouraging. At the end, everything was laid out on my bed. Like memories. As they were. I felt my eyes getting wet.

"Thank you." I sniffled. He rubbed my shoulder. "It feels like I'm saying goodbye. After all these years."

Raph just nodded, not saying anything. I leaned against him, taking a breath that shook in my chest. I felt him move his arm to where his hand came around and held my other shoulder, bringing me closer. I closed my eyes, letting the tears come. He touched his mouth to the top of my head and I could feel his breath in my hair. It was. Comforting. I held his hand that was on my shoulder and relaxed further into him.

"It's not easy. Saying goodbye."

Neither of us moved.