A/N: Longer chapters coming up soon. Thanks for all of the reviews. I very much appreciate them.
Chris and I ended up leaving the Curtis house at 11 that night but with assurances that I would return directly after school the next afternoon. It was all too much, but it was too much for all of us, and I knew the only way through this would be together. I was lucky, though, that Chris knew this too and that my mother didn't mind the extra time watching James. I didn't know why Chris was always so understanding when it came to this family, but as I thought about the way he and Darry had interacted, I realized that he felt the responsibility too, and I knew I was lucky.
What I didn't expect was to have Tom not know what had happened when he walked into my class the next morning. I knew I looked washed out, and I could tell my students were watching me curiously. I hadn't realized, though, that it would be during that class when our principal would decide to make the announcement about one of our "alumni" being killed in the line of duty. At this point, the fact that Soda had never really graduated seemed pretty irrelevant, so I didn't question his use of that term. I did, however, have to close my eyes when he said Soda's name, and when I opened them, my class was looking at me with a lot more understanding … well, except for Tom who was sitting with an expression that looked a lot closer to grief and fear. His eyes met mine, and before I could even change my expression, he bolted from the room. I sighed as I turned the class to doing the assignment for the day. This just kept getting progressively harder.
Tom came back ten minutes later, and I was about to say something when I noticed the telltale red tinge around his eyes, and I just settled on a meaningful look that I knew he would understand. He did. When the bell finally rang, releasing them, he took his time packing up, and I did the same. When the room finally cleared, he approached my desk.
"Mrs. Nelson, I'm… well, I'm really, really sorry." He didn't look at me, but I could hear the truth of his words in his voice. "I don't even know what to say, but I just… I wish it hadn't happened. Soda was a really great guy." His voice had been shaking slightly, and it broke when he said Soda's name. He still hadn't looked up, though, so I said, softly,
"Thank you. I hope you decide to stop by to see Ponyboy and Darry. They'll be glad to see you, I'm sure."
Now he looked up. I'd known he would. His eyes were bright, and he managed to choke out, "I don't think I can. I don't want to know what this is like."
He quickly looked back down but not before I saw the tear fall, and I waited for him to regain his composure until I said firmly,
"Whatever you need to do is fine, obviously. I just think you'll feel better if you see them. But it's up to you. I just want you to know I'll be there today after school, and I'm pretty sure the wake will be next week at the earliest."
He nodded. "Ok," he said quietly, but I knew he was still considering what I'd said. Without another word, I tore off a piece of paper from the pad on my desk and jotted down yet another late pass.
"Get to math," I said quietly. "I'll see you later."
He nodded again and walked quickly out of the room without another word. I wondered if he could do this. I wondered if any of us could.