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Red's Last Day
Bottom of Form 1
-Just shut up and kiss me already.-
I thought that moving in with Laurie would only make her bitchier and sluttier, but she was actually pretty nice to me. I know! I was surprised, too!
She was pretty cranky at first, having to share a room with me and all, but she seemed to warm up to me. Or-or something.
We were lying on her bed, reading magazines and painting our nails when suddenly she looked me in the eye and said, "I always liked you."
"What?" I asked, surprised.
"I always liked you the most out of all of Eric's stupid friends. You and Donna, I guess."
"Oh, so I was the least...stupid?"
"Yeah, exactly!"
"Umm...thanks?"
"You're welcome. You know, it could be fun having a roommate. I could take you under my wing."
"You're not gonna take me to frat parties and dress me like a slut again, are you?" I asked, frowning.
"Are you kidding? That's like, all we'll do!" Laurie cried, excitedly, and I frowned.
"Don't you ever get tired of that?" I asked, and Laurie put down her magazine, and blew on her freshly pink nails.
"Tired of what?"
"You know...frat parties and hooking up with married guys and sex and drinking all the time?"
"You're not serious, are you? Oh God, you are serious!"
"Yeah, I mean, doing all that sounds fun and all, but don't you ever just want a real boyfriend who gets you flowers and goes on dates with you and stuff, instead of just haveing meaningless sex with a bunch of married guys?" Laurie thought aboiut this.
"Maybe when my looks start to go, yeah. But for now, I'm OK where I am." I shrugged.
"Suit yourself."
"Why?" Laurie asked. "Is that what you want? A boyfriend?"
"Yeah, I guess."
Laurie wasn't the only one who I was getting to know better, since I moved in.
I plopped down on the couch in the living room, and grabbed for the remote.
"Don't bother," I looked up and saw Eric sit down next to me. "I dripped a bowling ball into the TV last week, and Hyde and I still have to buy Red a new one."
"Oh yeah!" I cried, laughing. "Donna told me about that! What were you thinking, you bonehead?" Eric shrugged. "I dunno. I guess I wasn't. Well, obvioiusly. I dropped a bowling ball in my TV." I laughed.
"Yeah. So, you wanna go down to the basement and watch a TV that's bowling ball-less?"
"Sure." We got up and went down to the basement, and sat on the couch. Eric turned on some pointless sitcom with cheesy lines and a teenage girl with the perfect family and a prom crisis.
"God, what happened to TV?" I asked, frowning at the crap I was watching.
"I don't know. What else is on?"
"I don't know! You change the channel! Dammit, where's Fez when you need him?" I yelled, and Eric laughed.
"Yeah. Well, later," he said, getting up.
"Hey! Where are you going?"
"Up to my room to uh, uh, lift weights and stuff..."
"You're gonna read nudie mags and play with G.I. Joe's, aren't you?"
"I-no-damn, how'd you know?" I giggled, and stood up, too.
"Come on, Eric, I know you! Hey, can I come?"
"You wanna look at nudie mags and play with G.I. Joe's?"
"I'm REALLY bored..."
"OK, fine. Come on."
We went up to his room, and Eric took out a dirty magazine from under his bed, and I took out some G.I. Joe's and Star Wars stuff from his closet.
"Eric! Come play with me!" I squeaked, holding up an action figure of Darth Vadar. "I'm looonely without you!"
"Get bent, Sarah!" Eric yelled, and threw a magazine at my head.
"OW! You tool! Ooh, lookie here!" I opened Eric's nudie mag, and flipped through it. "DAMN! Look at the jugs on that chick! Ooh, but she has a cute top."
"Sarah, give me back my magazine."
"No! You have a whole stack of them under your bed! And besides, if you wanted to see a naked slut, you could just walk in on your sister. Ya' know, if you think about it, this magazine is like hundreds of Laurie's."
"Shut up, Sarah, you're ruining nudie mags for me! Give it back!"
"No!" I yelled, and flipped the page. "Oh My God, where did she get her make-up done? That is SO beautiful! Damn, I'be got to try that some time!"
"Sarah!" Eric moaned. "Give me my nudie mag back!"
"Oh My god, she's so pretty! But sorta skanky. WHOA! Is that two chicks making out? Damn, Hyde was right, that IS hot! Shit, now I know why guys look at these magazines, this is fun!" I flipped the page again. "I wish there was a magazine like this for chicks. A whole magazine filled with hot, naked guys. God, I'm such a perv. I'm turning into yo-!"
Eric tackled me, and we rolled around on the floor.
"Eric! Ow! You're on my hair!"
"Gimme back my magazine!"
"No!" I tightened my grip on the magazine, and Eric pinned me to the ground, trying to yank it out of my hands.
"Get OFF me, Eric, you're hurting me!" I yelled, and giggled. Eric grabbed the magazine from my hands, and rolled off me.
"You dillhole!" I yelled, smaking him over the head with a G.I. Joe.
"Whatever," Eric said, laying back down on his bed.
"Hey, you guys, I'm gonna go finish up my homework. I'll see you guys later," Donna said, and left the basement, so that it was only me and Jackie.
"Finally! I thought she's never leave! Sarah, we need to talk!"
"About what?"
"Don't play dumb with me! I know all about you and Eric!"
"Oh My God. Eric told you?"
"No! But it's OBVIOUS!"
"Wait a minute, what are you talking about?" I asked, frowning.
"Eric cheating on Donna with you!" Jackie cried, and I gasped.
"WHAT?" I yelled. "Eric and I aren't-does anybody else think that?"
"I don't know. And I thought you were going out with poor, dirty Hyde was bad, but now you're doing it with Eric, who's all skinny and pale?"
"Jackie! I am not doing it with Eric! We're just friends!"
"Then how come you two have done everything together the past week?" It was true. We hung out in his room, watched TV all night in the basement, and he even drove me to The Hub in the Vista Cruiser, and spent hours just talking and joking over chilli dogs and Cokes.
"So? We're just friends!"
"Yeah, OK. Whatever." Jackie said, sarcastically, and I stomped out of the basement.
I slapped a hand to my forehead. This was not happening. How could Jackie possibly think that I was doing it with Eric? He was my best friend's boyfriend. I'm not THAT much of a bitch!
"Hey, Sarah," Eric said, plopping down next to me on the couch.
"Eric, we need to talk."
"About what?"
"About..." I just couldn't bring myself to say that Jackie had convinced herself that we were having sex. "About Donna."
"What about Donna? Is she mad at me?"
"Umm...no. She's not mad at you."
"Then what's the problem?" I sighed, and looked up at him, about to spill the beans, when I realized how close we were.
"I...umm...Donna...she..." I muttered, and we inched closer and closer, until our lips touched. Everything else in the world just melted away, and the only thing that mattered-that really mattered was that I was sitting on the couch in the basement, kissing Eric Forman.
The only time I had ever felt this way was when I was fooling around with Hyde.
Hyde. Donna. Hyde and Donna. Oh crap! I pulled back, and gasped.
"Oh My God. Oh My God, Eric, did we just-NO. No, Eric, no, no, NO! I LOVE Donna, and I love Hyde, and I could never stab them in the back like that. I'm not THAT kind of person-I'm not like Kelso!"
"I couldn't agree with you more, Sarah. I love Donna, too, and Hyde's my best friend, and I don't want to hurt either one of them."
"This can never happen again," I agreed, and Eric nodded.
"Never."
After Eric and I made our vow, I went up to the room that Eric and Hyde shared. I knocked on the door, and Hyde opened it.
"Hey, Sarah-" I interrupted him by wrapping my arms aroun his neck, and pressing my lips to his. We backed up into the room, and he slammed the door for some privacy. He fell back onto the bed, and I fell onto him.
I threw Hyde's glasses across the room, and he fumbled with my bra strap. I reached back to help him and then threw it in the same direction as his glasses.
"What's this about?" Hyde mumbled as I began kissing his neck.
"Does it matter?"
"I guess not."
We went on like this for a few more minutes, until Hyde tried to lift up my shirt.
"Wait," I murmured, and grabbed his hand.
"Sorry."
"It's just-maybe we're going too fast. I mean, we'ere not even going out. We're just..." I trailed off.
"We're just what?" Hyde asked, and I sighed.
"I dunno...I don't know what we're doing."
"Is that a problem?"
"I didn't say that. We have a good thing here. Now come on, let's go back to making out. I was having a good time." I leaned in for a kiss, and Hyde met my lips.
I was sitting at the Forman's kitchen table alte at night, with a cup of hot chocolate, thinking about the kiss (mine and Eric's, not mine and Hyde's).
"Hey. What are you doing up?" I looked up and saw Hyde sitting down next to me.
"I just couldn't sleep."
"Me either," Hyde said, and took a gulp of my hot chocolate.
"Hey!"
"Oh, relax. So what're you thinking about?"
"Umm...nothing. It's nothing," I wanted to tell him so bad. I really did. But I couldn't.
"What's bugging you?" he asked, frowning.
"Nothing. Nothing important, anyways." It never happened, remember? Just forget about it. "Really...it's nothing."
Hyde shrugged. "Whatever. If you say so."
"Yeah." We sat in silence for a while, until I felt his lips on my neck, and his arms wrapped around my waist.
"Hyde," I giggled. "What are you doing?"
"Nothing," he mocked and I tried not to laugh out loud.
***
Eric and I were sitting on the couch in the basement, with the TV on mute, just talking.
"So, does Donna talk about me at all?" Eric asked.
"Sometimes," I said, shrugging.
"Well, what does she say?"
"What do you want to know?" I asked, smirking.
"I don't know...like..."
"None of us realy talk about our boyfriends unless we're mad at them, or we did something important with them. It's the same with you guys, I'm sure."
"Yeah...wait a sec! You said 'our' boyfriends. Donna and Jackie have boyfriends, but the last time I checked, you don't have a boyfriend," Eric mocked me.
"Shut up."
"So, you and Hyde, huh?"
"I don't know...I mean...I don't know...we fool around and stuff, but Hyde's never mentioned anything about us really going out, and it doesn't seem like he's going to."
"Do you want him to? Ask you out, I mean?"
"Yeah, kinda. I mean...yeah. But it's no big deal."
"Sure it is. He'll come around, Sarah. For a long time, Donna and I didn't know what we were doing, but then I finally asked her out, and now things are really good between us. They...are good between us, right?"I laughed.
"Yes. You guys are fine; she hasn't said anything bad about you in a while."
"OK, good."
I brought my voice down to a whisper: "I'm glad we can still be friends, and talk like this, even after the kiss."
"Shh!" Eric hissed, and we both looked around to make sure no one was listening. "It never happened, remember? We never kissed."
"Right. Sorry, it's just-it's hard to keep this big of a secret from everybody."
"There's no secret to keep! It NEVER happened."
"You're right, Eric, this is ridiculous. It never happened, and there's no reason to hurt Hyde and Donna, cuz it'll never happen again." I didn't know who I was trying to convince: Eric or myself.
***
I walked into the kitchen, and saw Kitty baking something in the oven.
"Hey, Mrs. Forman. Where did the guys go?"
"Oh, Eric, Steven, and um-what's his name-Fez, went to go pick up Red at Charlie's Bar."
"Oh," I said, crackinga smile. "is Red drunk?"
"No, NO, he is just-he's not feeling well!" Kitty cried.
"Well, yeah, cuz he's so drunk."
"No, he's just not feeling well!" Kitty cried.
"Yeah, OK, whatever. What are we having for dinner?"
"Oh, I'm making chicken and mashed potatoes."
"Ooh, yum."
***
I was reading a book in my room-or the room I shared with Laurie-and it was late at night. Laurie was gone, and I lit up the room with a small lamp.
"Hi, Sarah," someone slurred, and I looked up and saw Eric standing in the doorway, holding onto the wall.
"Eric, are you drunk?"
"Yeah...I think so. Can I come in? Oh, I'm already in," he muttered, stumbling into the room and falling down on the bed.
I sat down on Laurie's bed, next to him, and Eric leaned up and kissed me hard. He grabbed my shoulders, and pressed my body to his. I pushed back, and shook my head.
"Eric, no. We agreed to never do this again."
"But why would we do it the first time if we really didn't want to? I mean, we must like each other if we kissed...in the...first place. Right?"
"Umm...I guess..." I murmured, and Eric kissed me again, wrapping his arms around me the way only Hyde had. He kissed me the way only Hyde had. But he also did one thing that Hyde and I hadn't done in a long time: we had sex. He touched me in places that hadn't been touched in so long. And it made me feel so good. Kissing his lips and running my hands through his hair, and touching his naked body to mine. And I loved it.
***
I woke up the next morning in Laurie's bed, Eric and I both naked and under the covers, lying next to each other. He was still sleeping.
I looked over at the clock: 5:37. Oh, fuck. "Eric! Eric, wake up!" I whispered, shaking him awake.
"Huh? Sarah? What happened?" he moaned, sleepily, rubbing his eyes. "Eric, get up and get dressed. Now, before anyone wakes up."
"But-did we-?" I nodded.
"Now go. GO!" Eric jumped out of bed, and bolted out the door. I got up and changed into a pair of shorts, and a T-shirt, and sat on the bed.
"We should both go to hell," Eric said, sitting down next to me on Laurie's bed, and I nodded.
"We can't keep doing this!" I cried, hiding my head in my hands. "Donna and Hyde mean too much to me to keep doing this."
"Yeah. Me too."
"Do you remember any of it?" Eric sighed.
"Yeah. Some parts. You were...good. Not being a virgin...feels good."
"No, no, no, Eric, this never happened! So as far as everyone is concerned, you're still a virgin."
"Do you know how hard that's gonna be?" Eric moaned.
"I don't care! Just keep it to yourself. You might not be able to probe to the guys that you're a man, but you and I will know the truth."
"O-OK."
***
I was watching TV on the couch, when suddenly Laurie strutted into the room.
"Oh. Hi, Laurie," I said, and then she grabbed the remote from my hands and changed the channel.
"Hey! Give it back!"
"Oh,I don't think so. You might want to be nice to me if you want me to keep quiet about how you had dirty, hot sex with my baby brother." My jaw dropped to the floor.