Chap 14 Negotiations And Scouting Time (improved V)
Tevinter guide: *vobis cor meum- you break my heart
*carissime- dear friend
*siong- hokkien for tough time/ stress Recommended: Within Temptation Stand My ground
A month after, Zevran had mostly recovered from his weaknesses. So, I tried to find a right moment to tell Fenris about it. During a particularly interesting week, Fenris returned in a perpetual buoyant mood bearing gifts for us. He had got a pay raise. I always tried to persuade maestro- Zev to talk on my behalf. That's my nickname for him at the moment, which never fails to turn his eartips red. It was hard not to be touched by the passionate and fiery assassin!
"He won't be as angry with you as me. I'm not sure how much trust I can push,Kitty. I am with you, " Zev replied every time. If he were to suggest the plan, he might be perceived as separating me from family. Because aunty Aveline and Fenris are my guardians, though I don't go over to her house that much. Zev's standing with her was not great.
I didn't want to ruin Fenris' rare happiness. But I really wanted to go and couldn't wait! "Ah Fen, is it ok if I go with Merry and Zevran for a camping trip?" If possible I did not want to mention where. We were all together in the main hall, and I was standing, half hoping that maybe my friend would readily agree or not hear properly. The warrior was flipping through newspapers, his side to me. I had rehearsed possible answers many times the day before. Zev blinked, his ear pricking.
Fenris frowned at me. "And I am not invited to go, Sabriel, why?"
"Because… we're going to explore some jungles and history, plants and I doubt you like that." His expression did not change, at least the brandings were not lit. Zevran smiled and gently motioned for me to continue. Of course he was the best glib-tongued talker but if he were to suggest, they would be angry. (perceive as a bad influence) 'why don't I make a letter to mum and then a memo to Fenris then they'd just see it later?' My original plan. 'It won't help, they'd be much angrier yes? I think it wise to ask for permission. I am not important, you are. If Fenris does not agree we should respect him, Zevran had talked me out of it. Aww. Also my best friend did not have patience for memos.
When Fenris responded with a long silence and stiffened, frowning, I heard my own heart fluttering. My knees weak, I sank down beside Zev. "Oh. Is this something- did he put you up to this? I can't allow it," Fen said coldly, his neck tattoos swirling. This was a sign of fluctuating anger, a stage before full-blown phase Blue.
Fenris glared at the Antivan.
"No. I want to. Please don't be upset, Fenris, let us explain." I pleaded, clasping my hands. I did not dare to turn and see the other elf's reaction, just concerned Fenris might be violent. Thankfully the warrior did not get up.
"No. I want to. Please don't be upset, Fenris, let us explain." I pleaded.
"It's too dangerous carissime, There's nature here, Sabriel, don't you remember? And I can protect you." Now I read that he sounded not just angry, but wounded. Because of abuse, he had a tendency to express both anger and pain together… I didn't understand the foreign word, but I had an emotional urge to cry.
Back when I did not always want to go to school, Fenris and I would ride or stroll to secluded areas, more fields than forests to the south of Kirkwall. We shared picnics, if my housekeeper did not bake scones and sweet teas, Fenris somehow brought food. Sometimes other friends came too, but he really meant the times we bonded just him and me. All these rushed in now unbidden, nothing can come between us. The littlest of gestures, his wide eyed happiness when I gave him my whole hearted attention and the rarest of smiles,meticulous when he asked about my homework, and my day, truthful and sincerity.
Fenris looked away, his pale hair concealing his face, while I controlled my tears from spilling over. I dug my nails into my hands.
Ah this was so messed up, Maybe I should forget about it! How cruel that I am thoughtless. But I just remembered now! In the end I could not talk about these, just "I—respect you, Uncle. So I couldn't just leave without telling… Um…" I glanced at Zev who was perfectly calm.
He said evenly, "I have been searching for my lost relative. She seems to be at a Dalish clan, near Kirkwall. Dear girl wants to experience the forest life and understand their culture. Merrill knows the place and we will plan very carefully. No unnecessary dangers. " And I was so glad Fenris started breathing normally again. "You can come as well, we understand your concerns."
That astonished me, and I looked at Zev huh? Because Dalish were unpleasant to the other races of elves from the city, their Sundermount times had illustrated that.
"There are Dalish people here. You don't need to traipse off to the wilds."
"For how long? The thing is, I do not know when I can take the days off. You are certain you know the place, Zevran?" Logically, Fenris said.
"Yes Merry and I will be surveying the area first."
Fenris nodded.
For that we had not decided, on length of time. The jovial elf discussed that everything also depended on his health and stamina.
"Yea, if he's ill and too tired, we won't go through with it. That's for sure." I touched Zevran lightly on the sleeve.
"Then, I will have to consider it. You ask if it is 'ok' have not decided, have you?" Fen asked with his protective tone. He managed a fleeting sad smile.
"Er not really." My hope was extinguished with my reply, and I could not look directly at Fenris. He did not get over bad moods easily, knowing him well even if he sounded stoic and fine on the surface the strong willed elf would not compromise easily. Softly Zev asked me to go and hug him. Yea I ought not to cause him worry and hurt, Fenris has always been supportive of me. He was checking the papers when I held out my hands.
Did he mind a hug? Fen looked up from pretending to read and instead of touching hands, he pulled me close and I laid my head on his shoulder. "Vobis cor meum" He whispered. Though I didn't understand Arcanum or tevinter, his tone did not mean harm and malice.
The reticent warrior said nothing about this for four days and I noticed he tried to be present more often. Fenris asked to eat together, but I didn't have a good mood and gave monosyllabic responses. He didn't show much pain.
One day he gleefully took my hand and said, "I've a surprise for you."
I was curious. "Ooh what?" Fenris beamed. Fluffy the caterpillar was growing fat these days and I kept him near the furthermost window. Today another glass jar with leaves was beside it. "Eh what's that?"
"Look. I thought it can be company." His voice was light.
As the bug crawled out from its hiding place, I squealed. "So CUTE! Kawaii! How did you get it?"
"I saw this tree, or bush with some. I told the gardener not to kill them and saved one. Do you like it carissime?" Fenris waited.
I pictured him attempting to be gentle while capturing the Little pink one and nodded vigorously. "Yea definitely! I think I shall name her Kawaii. Means super cute."
"A good name. You're not still, mad at me are you?" He asked. I looked up from the bugs and studied the fearless elf clad in a sleeveless golden tunic and leather pants. His fringe covered one ear. All his markings were exposed today, probably he felt allergic and if he scratched at them would break the skin.
He stroked one arm with a frown.
"I'm- not. I remember those times, it was so special. I guess if you don't consent I won't insist." I said, even as my heart was sinking. I pointed to a soothing balm we had got as a sample on the table.
"I've been thinking about it. If Zevran can prove he is able to ensure your safety, I wouldn't refuse. Merrill is Dalish, but she cannot cook. I was surprised he says I can come. But I may not be able to." Fenris was telling me eagerly. He screwed open the lid.
His right bicep's tattoos had some redness. I began to apply the balm for him. "You will really stay if I don't give you permission? What about Aveline and, your mother?" Or maybe I'd find some way to sneak off for a while, just a few days from here anyway.
"Ah, them. I've- tried to tell Ave, but she didn't answer. Hehe."
He said he'd give me an answer after taking a nap. I didn't feel that much of hope, and glumly watched Zevran looking at his assortment of light armor and clothes.
"Hm how goes it?" The elf did not need to turn around when my hand was ready to knock.
"Eh waiting. He… is stalling. Aw man. Are you packing Zevran?" I came in as he smiled at me.
"Not so fast. The friends here have kindly tailored some of these for me. Care to give me your opinion?" He grinned, holding up a blue shirt. They are Fereldan design, because Kirkwall fashion has earthly tones and is generally grey. The elf agreed not to undress his private area just trying on shirts.
"They're All wonderful on you."
"You should continue flattering, bonita. Ah did you notice Fenris used some- um fanciful language? He won't tell me what he meant." Zevran remarked, tying the sash for his decided clothing.
"Yea I… think it's tevinter. Or qunlat, I never ask and he seldom translates. Cari- one sounds nice. He keeps calling me that." I puzzled.
My impatience was soon forgotten with idle chatter and the cute charming Antivan's opinions. Then Fenris said he had come to a decision.
"I do not mind you going, Sabriel. However I need a favour." He looked determined and resolute.
Zev waved gracefully. "Zevran I need you to show me the area and the routes. You and Merrill have been to this Dalish encampment before?" Fen addressed him.
"She has. I plan to, soon. Anytime when you're free." Did I see Zev blushing at the ears as their gazes met? Fenris smiled. He said it was not meant to be a request but a statement.
On a morning weekend, we rode to the forest to get familiarized with the route. Mine was a mare, Zev rode a silver stallion and Fenris' was his favourite white stallion. I don't remember their names. Zev just read the map occasionally. Both elves were alert and attuned to their surroundings. Our horses were mostly cooperative, but the merry elf's one was not. Zev had to wrestle with his to keep it on the path. "Can you, do something to help me? I've not ridden for months." He appealed with wounded pride at our chuckles.
"You ok?" He was sheen with sweat.
"I am fine, but someone's not happy with me." Zevran dismounted, panting slightly. "Maybe in a bad mood?" I got off to stretch my legs and passed him the waterskin. Fenris worked magic with the unhappy horse, stroking it and giving it some fruits.
"He totally rocks at this with horsies. I fell off too. Sorry about that. Looks like my mission is cut out for me."
"Huh?"
"Why to transform or convert you to love animals Zevran!" I said chirpily. To which maestro covered his face and moaned.
"I like most of them alright?"
"Clearly not enough, horses are very sensitive. Did you let Kipper smell you earlier on?" Fenris said joining us. Then Fenris took Zevran's hand and asked him to get re-introduced. Kipper whinnied and blew hot breath into the petite elf's face, and he sighed. His patience was being challenged. Zevran's hair was all messy.
I made a thumbsup. "Such a miracle taming, Uncle!" Fenris' ears twitched and he laughed.
"Well, I'm better with horses than people. Now you feed him." He handed Zev a pouch of nibbles. Kipper nosed his hand to which the elf said don't wet him. Fenris teased him. "I thought All of our peoples especially the Dalish are good with wildlife?"
"I was born in the city, and I took the ship or walked to most places."
"Wah so tiring and siong* isn't that?" I remarked.