Ch 14: Truth Among Kings
Among the Narnians, Edmund missed Phillip most of all. His old friend had passed on in his absence, but left behind a son from his marriage with Hrura. Barton looked much like his sire, so much that Ed teased him that he was really his father in disguise.
The young horse had come to court as soon as he learned of Edmund's return, to pledge his loyalty and offer to take his father's place as Edmund's battle charger, should the need arise. But what Edmund really needed, and what Barton was glad to provide, was an escape from the castle.
They rode southwest, with Leina running in front and a pair of leopards behind. The leopards were there ostensibly as an honor guard, but Ed suspected they were afraid to let him out of their sight, lest they lose a ruler again.
They slowed to a walk after a while. Ed soaked in the sunshine and let the sweet air soothe his nerves. "This is good," he said at last. "We might stay here the whole day, and I won't tire of it."
"I've no problem with that," Barton agreed. He lowered his muzzle to pick at the long grass.
Ed slid off the horse's back and walked beside him. "Phillip and I rode the length and breadth of Narnia together. He was a tribute to his kind."
"I've heard the stories," said Barton. He gave a snort of humor. "I could never tell how much was true, and how much my mother exaggerated."
They emerged from a copse of trees to a gently sloping hill. At the top were a stone arch and a broken platform.
Edmund froze. Very soberly, he said, "They're all true."
Leina trotted back to them. "All right, you layabouts, what's the delay?" Seeing Edmund, then seeing where his gaze went, she flicked her ears back. To Barton and the leopards, she said, "Can't you blockheads realize when someone ought to have some breathing space? Away with you, before I bite your ears off one by one." She snapped at their heels as the lot of them moved away.
Edmund gave her a grateful smile. Leina snorted and followed the rest of the animals away into the trees.
Ed walked up the hill to the Stone Table and stared at it for a long time, noticing the worn runes etched along its perimeter, the way the rain had pitted the stone. He knelt beside it--it seemed too shameful a thing to sit on it--and touched one of the runes. Gradually he realized he was shaking. He spread his hands on the table and listened to the wind whistle through the stone arch.
A storm of emotions welled up in this throat. Knifing doubt filled him, and tears burned at his eyes. How ever could he support his country when he could barely stand on his own two feet?
And then loneliness. Peter. Susan. Lucy. Asha. And Aslan, who had died right here on this table. For him. Edmund shook harder, powerless to stop it. He hid his head in his folded arms and gave a wrenching moan of pain. "Aslan, oh Aslan, I'm so sorry." Sobs wracked his body, sapping all the strength out of him until all he could do was press his forehead against the cold stone and cry.
Gravel ground into his knees. Tears streamed hotly down his cheeks and into his sleeves. He wanted to curl up into himself and disappear.
Something warm and coarse brushed against his ear. Still trembling, he raised his head to find the Lion himself pressing his face against Edmund's cheek. Edmund's heart gave an agonizing squeeze. He wrapped his arms around the Lion's neck and buried his face in Aslan's mane.
"I forgive you, Son of Adam," Aslan said softly. The Lion pressed his great head against Edmund's chest and stayed there, letting Edmund pour himself out.
Drained at last, Edmund sat back and brushed the rest of his tears away. But he found he could look Aslan in the eye now, where he never could before.
The Lion gave him a smile, then breathed on him, and Edmund felt the ragged edges of his heart begin to mend. "Welcome back, Edmund."
"Why did you call me?" he asked hoarsely.
"I didn't," Aslan said. "You came."
"How could I?"
"The silver leaf you carry was only a token until you made it more than that," Aslan said. "You filled it with your love. Love of Narnia, and love of the one who gave it to you. There is no deeper Magic."
"Why only me? Why not my brother and sisters?" Edmund tried hard not to resort to pleading with him. "Can't you call them? This is our home."
"Even I am subject to a greater will," Aslan said. "They will come only if it is meant to be so."
"Why did you send us away in the first place?" Here, Ed couldn't resist a sharp tone.
The Lion gave a soft growl, and Ed ducked his head in apology. "England needed you as much as Narnia does," said Aslan. "Narnia has touched you, and you in turn brought some of Narnia to your own world by returning there."
Edmund stood up. "I have to find a way to bring them back. We belong here."
"It will take a great deal of magic to return all three, and the Deep Magic as well."
"I'll find a way," Ed insisted.
Aslan merely smiled. "Be well, Son of Adam."
Edmund said goodbye to the Lion, and found that while he was still troubled, he was able to bear it just a little more.