Chapter 14: Heidi and Tweek
Warning: PTSD, mentions of violence, sexual assault, self-harm, sexual harassment, self-blame, angst, and profanities!
Disclaimer: South Park belongs to Trey Parker and Matt Stone. Ms. Wilde, Kitty Wilde, is a character from a comdey-drama TV show called Glee which actually created by Ryan Murphy, Ian Brennan, and Brad Falchuk within the production, 20th Century Fox Television.
Tweek's point of view
I look upon the sky at Stark's Pond. I've been thinking about my friends' reaction to my 'sexual assault','self-harm', and my previous hellish experiences with men. Though I am lucky to come clean with David, Nurse Gillian Woods, and Ms. Wilde, there is one person I still need to tell: Heidi. The person who made me feel worthy and confident inside and out. The person who taught me do much after my breakup with him. The person I look up to. The person who always there for me.
I look at my phone to see the text message I wrote and sent to her.
Tweek: "Heidi, I need to tell you something. Meet me at Stark's Pond."
Heidi: "Sure, I'll meet there."
I don't know what she'll react. What if she hates me? What if I lost her as my best friend? Maybe it is all in my head. I know that Heidi is a good girl despite of everything she does in the past especially with Cartman. I can feel the shame, guilt, and humiliation piling up on me.
Heidi's point of view
"Tweek, there you are," I walk toward him. He texted me to meet him here at Stark's Pond, "I'm worried about you. You haven't responded my texts and you would cancel plans out because you're busy and all. In addition, you were down in the dumps, quiet, distant, and different with caked makeups time after time. Not to mention, you're covered up from head and toe. Tell me what's going on?"
I look at him to see fear and sadness in his eyes. He has a quivering pout on his face. By the way he's trembling and out of breath, his body languages tell me something's wrong.
"Heidi, what would you do if there's a boy older than you hits on you and you feel uncomfortable with it?" He questions me.
"Umm... I would've told him no and back off and walk away from him. If he goes further, then I would've fight back," I answer to him, "Why? Tweek, is there something you have to tell me about? What this older boy you speak of did to you?"
"I… I … um…," He falters as if he's on the edge of tears which comes to his side to hug him, "I met this older boy. He has black hair styled in a mohawk and wears black T-shirt, denim sagging pants, Jordan shoes, black leather jacket, and chains. He has tattoos on his left arm."
"What did he do to you? I'm not going to be mad at you," I assert him.
"He… He… He groped and kissed me outside of the market when I was buying the stuffs for David and he did awful things to me last night," he come clean with me, "He… He… He raped me! He fucking raped me! He fucking raped me!"
"Tweekie Bird…Why didn't you tell me about it?"
"Because nobody would believe a boy being raped by another boy and I'm scared of what they think of me! I'm drowning and nobody is here to save me! I can't eat, sleep, or do anything because of it! I can't dress what I want without judgements! I can't go anything without having to look over my back constantly! It is too much pressure!" He goes on as I listen to what he admits to me. No wonder why he's acting aloof and isolated, "I've been hiding the bruises and scar away from everybody!"
He rolls up his sleeves to see scars on his scar. He pours makeup remover on his face and scrub his face with wipes to show bruises on his face. I gasp at the sight of the state my best friend is in. Now I know why he's never the same person he was to me. Why, Tweek? Why?
"He did this to you?" I point the wounds on his porcelain face.
"Yes, he punched and slapped me in the face when I tried to get him off of me," he explains to me, "I cut myself because of everything. This is my fault for this and I hate myself for it! That's it, I'm going to quit the cheer team!"
"Tweekie Bird, stop it! This is never your fault! It's his fault for the pain and suffering you have to put up with! You don't deserve all of this!" I tell him, "Don't let him and other people try to undercut you and things you had worked hard for because of what he did to you!"
"I also had been harassed by guys at the gym and everywhere I go with their revolting comments and touches to have these uncomfortable thoughts and images in my head! I can't trust guys because of this!"
"Tweek, I'm sorry that you have to go through this. Did you tell anyone about it?"
"Well, three people. David, Nurse Gillian Woods, and Ms. Wilde," he listed to me, "They're the only people I can come to terms with my 'sexual assault.' The rest of them are on their phones, so they don't give shits at all."
Tweekie Bird... I touch his arms as I let the tears dripping on his arms.
"Tweekie Bird, remember what happened when you told me about your breakup with Craig and the whole Buddha box bullshits from Cartman?" I reminded him.
"Yes," He answers to me.
"I told you that I hate to see my friend in tears and broken heart. I also hate to see my friend including you in scars, bruises, self-hate, and hopelessness. Tweekie Bird, it is going to be okay and I'm here for you. We can fix this."
"Okay. Heidi, I feel like I will never trust men after what happened last night."
"Tweekie Bird, not all men are like about David? Is he nice? You worked at his restaurant and he took you home," I say to him.
"Yes. He's a great guy and he's friend with Kyle. Oops, sorry about that," he apologizes to me for mentioning Kyle.
"It's okay. And look, there are other men and boys you can trust like David, Stan, Kyle, Kenny, Butters, Scott, Token, Jimmy, and anyone else," I console him, "Even Craig. He wanted to talk to me about you and I can tell he actually care about you."
"Oh right," he looks down at the pond, "I mean sure he did take me home and made a 'romantic' breakfast for me. It's just I'm not sure about taking him back. I love him, but he changed so much lately since the Buddha box episode. He wasn't the same person I fell in love with if it wasn't for the Asian girls and their artworks of yaoi."
"I know that you're upset at Craig for this, but at least he's not like Cartman," I reflect back to the times him and I used to date. He used to be who I thought of since the time when I quitted Twitter and Cartman's friends smashed his phone and computer. He used to be loving and kind to me to be his girlfriend regardless of criticisms from my friends. They made fun of me for dating him even if I broke up with him once.
~ Flashback starts (at Buca De Faggoncini) ~
"We're just glad you finally came to your senses," Red 'congratulates' me for breaking things off with Cartman.
"Yeah, no kidding. We seriously thought you might marry that piece of shit!" blustered Annie.
"Well, you know, he- he actually had some good qualities too," I attempt to reason with them that he is 'good' to me in any ways.
"Uhh, yeah, like what? Racism?" ridiculed Red.
"Or the sociopath part?" added Bebe.
"Yeah. I mean, no offense, Heidi, but what the fuck were you thinking?" sneered Courtney
"Guys, she admitted she made a mistake," Lola trumpeted to all of my girlfriends.
"You make a mistake on your homework. What Heidi did was more like a momentary loss of all sanity," Molly pointed it out to me.
"It was just what I believed in," I wasn't having it with them making me look like a fucking idiot.
"Don't worry, Heidi. We're not gonna keep telling you we told you so. But we told you so," The girls laugh alongside Bebe's ribbing.
"The only thing I wanna know is... how did you bring yourself to actually KISS him?" The girls erupt waves of 'eww's' out loud.
"Can you imagine? Eric Cartman's breath on your mouth?" Milly really just go there with me.
"Heidi, come here. I want to kiss you with my tongue!" Courtney literally did her impersonation of Cartman to take the cake to amuse them further.
~ Flashback ends ~
Out of my frustration over the girls' lack of support, I went crawling back to Cartman to mold myself into his own off-putting persona. I regret the days I lashed out on my friends. The days I degraded Kyle and his own people. The days I made myself a victim only to cause more and more dramas. The day where I ruined the special education science fair project. The day I took him back after weeks and months of his bullshits.
Thank god, I finally broke up with him at the time of the President's terrorization on South Park. I open my eyes to what an insufferable person he is and he will never turn over a new leaf. Yes, I had to deal with the glares, whispers, and cold shoulders from the people in my school. Especially Kyle. The only person who understands me and tries to help me all these times. He's a wonderful guy and I let him slipping away out of my hands by pushing him away or at least treating him like shit. I can evaluate that Cartman is one of the person who fuck everything up and never own up to them; instead, he fucking gets away with it!
Then again, if it wasn't for him then I wouldn't befriend with Tweek. I know he's full of anxiety, obsessed with coffee, and is eccentric. Deep inside is a sweetheart and a force to be reckoned with. I can see how he's more than just Craig's boyfriend. In fact, he's the one person who's forgiving to me and I get it.
Currently, I see how Tweek is real. Tweek did express genuine feelings and thoughts about his anxiety, pain and suffering. Mainly how this older guy he met outside of the market inflict trauma and injuries on him. Cartman, on the other hand, only sheds fake tears for attention. I even recall his 'suicide prevention awareness' I was dragged. And look at the damages being made thanks to him! Worst of all is how people fall for his bullshits and ignore the problems and everything that are out there! Including Tweek's own 'boyfriend!'
'I'm going to bring you back, Tweekie Bird. I promise,' I pledged to myself, 'I am not going to make the same mistake ever again, so I am not going to leave Tweekie Bird behind!'
"Tweek, let's get you to a hospital for your arms," I tell him, "Stay strong, Tweekie Bird. Stay strong."
"Okay," he nods at me as I wrap my arm around him and take him to the hospital.
No one's point of view
Heidi takes Tweek to the hospital where they meet Gillian Woods, the nurse who cared for Tweek back to health.
"I'm sorry," Tweek whispers to Heidi.
"Don't Tweek, you don't deserve the pain and suffering. It's going to be okay," Heidi rubs her hand on Tweek's arms as Gillian Woods is sewing his scars.
"Thank you for watching over your friend," Gillian Woods lightly pats Tweek's arms.
"No problem, nurse," Heidi put her heart over her chest in relief, "Tweek talks to me about his 'sexual assault' with an older guy plus the sexual harassment from guys in the past weeks.
"Call me Nurse Gillian Woods if you like," addressed the African-American woman.
"I also want you to tell you that Tweek is not okay. He has been having these thoughts and feelings time after time and from I see, he has been distancing himself. I tried to call him about plans to hang out, but he would decline. Whenever he's outside, he has to look over his back constantly. He didn't eat, sleep, or do anything," Heidi confesses to Nurse Gillian Woods.
Nurse Gillian Woods, shocked at what Heidi bring to light to her, said to the two friends, "By the condition your friend is in time after time, he's more likely to be diagnosed with PTSD or Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder."
"Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder?" Tweek gulps at the word 'Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder'. It horrifies the shit out of him to falter on his lap.
"Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder is when a person, young and old, experience critical emotions of fear, anxiety, stress, anger, and grief after a recent or past alarming occurrence. Recent or past alarming occurrence can be from the war, natural disasters, abuse, sexual assault/rape like what your friend had suffered, and more," Gillian Woods educates them, "Symptoms of PTSD like your friend have recently includes nightmares, flashbacks, mistrust, social isolation, panic attacks, and depression."
"How long does PTSD last?" Tweek utters out concerningly.
"PTSD lasts about months or years," she answers.
"Months or years?!"
"Yes, PTSD is something powerful that people including you have a hard time coping."
"What can we do now?" worried Heidi and turns to Tweek who is now crying.
"Well..." Gillian Woods did a long talk with the two friends on treatments for PTSD such as counseling, support group, and therapy. She also advises them that it is okay to feel this strong wave of emotions and there are so many people with PTSD; never suppress them because it will become worse and worse.
"Most of all, it is essential to be there for your friend to understand and support," she advises to Heidi and Tweek, "Anxiety is not something people would joke nor use it as excuses for their own selfishness."
~ Time skips (almost a week of the football game) ~
Thanks to Heidi by his side, Tweek is gradually able to get his shits together on himself. He starts to improve his academics much to Ms. Wilde's commendation. He socializes with his friends more often especially the girls. To make up for missing cheer practices, he works to the bones hours by hours with Heidi. He even dismisses or ignores Cartman whenever Cartman is there much to his friends' surprise. Although he still conceals the bruises on his face and the scars on his arms
"I can't believe Tweek! That bitching little cunt!" fumed Cartman as he rants on and on about how Tweek 'ruins his life.'
"I can't believe Tweek called him out for his bullshits!" shooked David, ignoring his obese classmate, "And I'm going to beat the shit out of his lardy ass for slapping Tweek in the face."
"I know right, we put up with his bullshits for way too long and someone finally silent him," Kyle can feel a sense of pride for this day.
"Hey guys," Tweek greets the two boys.
"Tweek, you're back!" David hugs Tweek, "You're okay?"
"Yep, Better than ever!"
"Are you kidding?! I saw you revile at Cartman on his bullshits without Craig!" Kyle and Tweek both squeal at each other to celebrate with high-fives.
"Tweek, guess what day is it?" announcing David a sing-song voice.
"Today is Friday, why?" Tweek raises his eyebrow.
"Friday is the football game and you're cheering for our team!"
"Are you excited?"
"Let's slay this football game and we're going to win!" Tweek throws his fist in the air.
~ Time skips (at Tweek's house) ~
Tweek and Heidi, changed into their cheerleading uniforms, are doing each other's hairs and makeups consist of their school's colors, black, white, and green. They put gems on their faces for their finishing touches.
"We…"
"Are…"
"On fleek as fuck!" They shrill simultaneously.
"Inside and out," Tweek added.
"Well learned, Tweekie Bird," Heidi smiles upon her friend.
"You taught that all of the glorious things come from within," Tweek notes to Heidi, "What time is the football game?"
"6 o'clock," Heidi reminds him, "Though we still have time since right now it is 4:30pm, we need to get there as soon as possible!"
"Hell no! We are not going to be fashionably late! Let's get our asses moving!" Tweek snaps his finger. Heidi and Tweek bolt around to pack their stuff in their bags and downstairs to leave the house.
On their way, they race to their school's football field as the clock is ticking.
"We did it!" Heidi shouts as she along with Tweek are panting from so much running, "Want to go over the drills?"
"All right, let's do it!" Tweek and Heidi work together to practice the moves, stunts, and chants. Thanks to the hours of exercising through everything he has to start over from scratch, he manages to correct what he misses and apply it perfectly let alone pushing himself to keep going and never give up. On top of that, his 'sexual assault' incident gives him an edge in the confidence department.
"You're ready now, Tweek," Heidi pats Tweek on the shoulder for encouragement, "You got this!"
"Yeah!"
"Have a drink and the football game will start in half an hour," Tweek nods as he and Heidi go to their bags to drink some refreshing water and lemonades.
"Nervous?"
"Umm... Yeah," Tweek nods at Heidi.
"I'm here for you and if you're panicking or not feeling okay, let me know," Heidi's words alleviate Tweek's anxiety, "Stand your ground and fight through uphill battles."
Author's notes: I did a throwback to South Park's Doubling Down which is on season 21, episode 7. I also did references to the previous chapters of this fanfiction.