A/N: I'm glad you all appreciated the trip Jay took to the firehouse! See the first chapter for the disclaimer. I hope you guys enjoy this one, and please review! :)

Fourteen

Jay had finally managed to escape and evade enough to get down to the district (by cab, because he still wasn't cleared to drive yet), where he wound his way through the basement to Mouse's corner of the precinct. Mouse's only reaction to the footsteps behind him was to dig out a beer and hand it back toward the newcomer without turning around.

"Thanks," Jay replied softly.

Mouse simply nodded without another word.

Jay sighed as he took a sip from his beer, sitting in the only other chair in the cramped room. Mouse finished what he was working on before turning to look back at Jay. "You look better," he told his friend.

"Thanks, I guess," Jay replied.

"I take it you're not feeling much better."

Jay shrugged.

"It's gonna take time," Mouse reminded him.

"I know." Jay shifted his weight in the chair.

"You'll be okay."

"I know," Jay repeated.

Mouse arched his eyebrows at him. "Do you?"

Jay shrugged one shoulder. "I'm starting to believe it, anyway."

Mouse nodded. "Good."

Jay nodded slowly, taking a drink from the beer. "I keep thinking about…"

"Yeah, I figured you would," Mouse said.

"I'm sorry, man. I'm really sorry."

"For what?"

"You carried me back, and I wasn't really there for you when everything…"

"You were there," Mouse reminded him. "You always tried to keep me clean. Hell, it actually worked… eventually. I mean, I'm here now, right?"

Jay shrugged slightly.

"Wouldn't be working for the district if it wasn't for you," Mouse continued.

"Is that a good thing, or a bad thing?" Jay asked.

"Well, it helped me turn my life around, so I'd say it was pretty good."

"Doesn't feel like enough."

Mouse shrugged. "Not to you, and not right now, but you'll get there."

Jay furrowed his brow. "That doesn't make much sense."

Mouse shrugged again. "Long day."

Jay nodded, saying nothing else as he drank his beer.

Jay had snuck his way upstairs after he knew most of the team should've gone home for the night. The person he did find still in the squad room was Voight.

Hank looked up to find Jay standing next to his own desk, almost frozen in the spot. Hank made his way out of his office to meet up with Jay.

"You look good," Hank said.

Jay shrugged slightly. "I'm gettin' there."

Hank grabbed a chair, and gestured for Jay to sit down as well. Jay pulled his chair out from behind his desk, sitting down across from Hank. "How are you feeling?" the older man asked.

"Alright," Jay replied.

Hank arched his eyebrows.

"Some days are better than others," Jay conceded.

"Today's a good day?" Hank asked.

"Today… today's a day."

Hank nodded.

"Thanks."

"For what?" Hank asked.

"Not telling anyone," Jay answered. "Letting me do it. I… I know how hard it had to be, given our team…"

Hank smirked slightly.

"But… it makes it… I wouldn't say easier, but… I don't know."

"They didn't need to know, unless you wanted them to know," Hank explained simply.

"Yeah, I know," Jay replied. "And… with them being dead… there's no trial, so…"

Hank nodded, understanding exactly what Jay meant: the rest of the team never had to find out.

"I guess Erin was a little pissed, huh?" Jay said with a smile.

"A little," Hank affirmed.

Jay shook his head.

"Who else have you told?"

"Just her. And Will." Jay shrugged somewhat. "I'm surprised at how well he seemed to take it. His temper's only a little worse than mine."

"Have you talked about it since?"

Jay's silence answered that question.

"You don't want them to know the details," Hank surmised.

"I figured Erin could figure some of them out, given the way the case turned. But… no, I really haven't…" Jay's voice trailed off.

"How's therapy going?" Hank redirected slightly.

"Which type?"

"Any of them."

"I think I'm on my last week of occupational therapy. Physical therapy, she wants to keep working until I can run and jump a little better, so that I can get back to work. Therapy with Dr. Charles… I still have a long way to go."

Hank nodded, somewhat surprised at Jay's openness.

Jay looked down to the floor. "Voight, can I ask you something?"

"Sure," Hank replied.

"Do I still have a spot here in Intelligence? Or should I be thinking about another department?"

Hank didn't answer, causing Jay to nod to himself.

"Maybe I should start looking now," he whispered softly as he looked at his hands.

"Jay, listen to me," Hank said.

Jay looked up.

"Right now, you need to worry about passing a physical eval. Then, you gotta pass another psych eval. After that, we'll know where you stand."

Jay nodded, more to himself than anything else.

"No one's sitting at your desk," Hank told him.

Jay offered a glimmer of a smile.

Hank watched Jay as his body language began to shift from down to uncomfortable.

"How do I talk about things with Erin?" he blurted out.

"What things?" Hank asked.

Jay shook his head.

"When you were kidnapped?"

"That… and the… the nightmares…" Jay exhaled slowly, feeling his palms growing sweaty as he bounced his leg slightly, mostly out of discomfort than anything else. "They're all… they're all… twisting. Some, I have a gun to my head while Keyes is behind me… others… others are much worse…"

Hank nodded.

"How do I talk to her about that?" Jay asked. "How do I do that and… and not lose something… make her think that I'm… I'm weak, or… or that I'm… I'm g-gay?"

"Jay," Hank started, battling in his head to find the right words. After all, comforting wasn't exactly his strong suit. "What happened to you… it doesn't mean any of those things."

Jay shook his head. "I should've gotten away sooner."

"You were chained down on a dirty mattress on the floor."

Jay closed his eyes.

"There was three of them, and one of you," Hank continued. "They drugged you, and they beat you. They…"

"Stop," Jay said softly, finding himself tensing toward the fetal position.

Hank put his hand on top of Jay's shoulder.

"It doesn't make it easier," Jay whispered.

"What doesn't?" Hank asked.

"Hearing it… it's not… it doesn't change… what I think."

Hank said nothing, just squeezed Jay's shoulder gently.

Jay shook his head, but didn't say anything else, as he brought his hands up toward his hair. After a moment, he sighed, shifting. "I should probably get home before Will worries that I made a break for it," he said.

Hank shrugged, but continued to say nothing.

Jay stood up. "Thanks," he said.

Hank nodded.

"Night."

Hank watched as Jay made his way out of the squad room, knowing that Jay had so much left to get through before things really got better.