Disclaimer: All characters belong to Stephenie Meyer.

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EPOV

The door opened slowly and I saw Charlie sitting in a very uncomfortable looking chair next to Bella. The room was extremely bright and smelled kind of funny.

Then I noticed Bella. She was so tiny and frail looking. It had only been about five days since I'd seen her last and her skin looked ashen, too pale for her. She also looked as if she had lost a lot of weight. Carlisle wasn't lying when he said it was bad.

I involuntarily took a step forward and Charlie noticed me standing in the doorway.

"Come on in Edward." He slowly stood up and stretched with his arms and back. I couldn't find words. There was nothing I could say to him at this point to make him or I feel any better.

"What's wrong with her?" I asked. That was good place to start.

"Her immune system is depleting since her white cell count is low and she got an infection in her stomach." My eyes bugged out of their sockets. How was that even possible?

"She woke up and started vomiting blood, about a liter so she had a few transfusions. She's also getting antibiotics for the infection."

"Oh," was all I could say.

"I'm going to go get food. I leave you in charge." He paced past me and walked out of the room closing the door quietly behind him.

I walked over to the chair and grabbed her hand in mine. Her skin which was normally a shade or two lighter than mine was now like holding up paper next to my skin. Her eyes looked dark with big circles around them.

All I want is for her to be okay. I slowly put my hand on her forehead brushing the hair out of her face. Her forehead was clammy against my palm leaving a residue for me to wipe off.

"I'm so sorry Bella." I put my head against her side and sat that way for what seemed like hours. I sat there waiting for her to move, just to flinch to let me know that she was there. But there was no movement and as far as I was concerned it didn't seem like there was ever going to be.

A while later I sat up adjusting my back from the awful chair and noticed it was getting very dark out. Charlie hadn't returned. I guessed that he couldn't be here right now. This was no sight for the faint hearted.

Just then the door opened and Carlisle walked in. We both stared between each other and Bella waiting for the other person to speak first.

"Is she going to be okay?" I asked.

"She's really weak right now." I looked at him waiting for a real answer. He sighed giving in. "I'm not supposed to give out this information but her body is very weak right now and unless she goes through aggressive treatment it won't be that much longer." I stared back at Bella wondering what it would be like if her bed was empty.

"Why doesn't she get treatment?" I couldn't understand what was going through her mind.

"She's gone through many treatments Edward. I don't think that she's had much of a life."

"I always knew there was something she wasn't telling me but I never wanted to push it. I thought that she would tell me when she was ready. But what if she had never told me, if I had never found out until her obituary appeared in the paper?

"If it makes you feel any better she felt terrible about not telling you. She didn't like keeping secrets from you." I just kept looking at her face trying to figure out what was going through her mind.

"Is she going to wake up?" I wondered how long she could sleep for.

"Like I said she's very weak and she's going to need some time to recover. She'll probably wake up in a day or two."

"How much time does she have left if she doesn't get treatment?"

"At this rate, not even a month." My heart sank. Only a month until this bed was empty waiting for someone else to take her place. Tears started to form in my eyes but I tried to hide them.

"Does everyone know?" Carlisle knew I meant the family.

"They know. Alice wants to come visit but Bella is under a no visitors policy right now."

"I'm not leaving," I said with a firm voice.

"I know. Charlie doesn't mind you being here. I just talked to him and he said that he doesn't want to leave her alone while he takes care of some things."

"It's my fault. I kept her out too late; I made her do too much…"

"Edward, stop." Carlisle put his hand on my shoulder to soothe me. "This is in no way your fault. She has been sick for a very long time. If anything she was lucky to have you in her life."

"How long has she known?"

"Just after you two started dating."

"She knew all this time and never told me. How did she keep it a secret for that long?" I was talking to myself more than Carlisle at this point.

Then it hit me. Why Carlisle had been acting so funny around her. "That's why you got upset that she was playing football and when she got the cut on her hand." I looked up at him and he still had a very composed look on his face.

"You know that I couldn't tell you. I was and still am her doctor."

"I know. I'm just starting to piece it all together now." I looked back at Bella and she was still asleep.

"She's not in any pain, is she?" I asked Carlisle.

"No. There's got morphine and antibiotics through two IVs. If she does wake up she'll be uncomfortable though. We had to put a tube down her throat to her stomach to pump on any food left out of her system and get antibiotics in." She looked so peaceful. It hurt to think that she would be in any pain.

I looked over at the clock and it was getting very late. Carlisle noticed too. "Edward you should get home and get some rest."

"I'm not going." There is no way he was getting me out of this chair and away from her. I've been away from her for too long.

"Edward," he warned. "I know you don't want to leave but you can't stay here. I'll be here with her just in case."

"I said that I'm not going anywhere." He was about to argue but I cut him off, "I love her and I'm not leaving here until she knows that."

"Fine. Charlie won't be back until tomorrow morning. He's getting Bella some things. I'll be around if you need me." Carlisle walked briskly out of the room and closed the door quietly behind him.

I turned back to Bella and began to stroke her hair back across her forehead like before. "I do love you."

I'm not sure what time it was when I fell asleep but before I did I turned the lights off in the room only leaving the lamps on. My head fell against her hips while my hands cradled the one hand of hers that didn't have wires or needles coming out of it.

It must have been early morning when I awoke. The sun was coming over the horizon just breaking through the clouds and entering into the window.

"Your neck must be killing you." I looked up and saw Bella staring back at me with her big brown eyes.

"You're awake." I started to smile.

"No shit." We both started to laugh but her laugh didn't make the sound of a bell ringing but rather of a smoker going through two packs of cigarettes a day.

"Do you want me to get you something for your throat? There's some water on your bed stand."

She nodded her head turning to look at where the water was. I slowly got up stretching my back. She was right, my back and neck were killing me. The water was slightly warm but she drank it anyway.

"Better?" I asked.

"Much. Thank you." I sat back down next to her making sure I didn't sit on anything.

"How are you feeling?" She stared at me and smiled.

"I'm better now but I still feel really tired." She still didn't look so good. Her skin was still a pale, ashy color but the circles under her eyes looked better.

"They've got you on antibiotics right now and your throat is sore because they had to stick a tube down your esophagus to get any food left out." She looked at me impressively that I knew all of this.

"What happened?"

"You have an infection in your stomach." She nodded her head curtly once.

"Aren't you upset at all? Shouldn't you be concerned?" She was making no sense.

"Edward." She said my name with the saddest tone. "I knew something like this was going to happen." She took a deep breath before she began to speak again. "When I found out I relapsed awhile ago, I decided not to get treatment."

"Why would you do that?!" I didn't want to get upset with her but she was making no sense.

"Would you calm down?!" She looked at me angrily but her temper just wasn't there today. "I decided not to get treatment because this is my fourth relapse and besides getting a bone marrow transplant there's not much more they can do. I wanted to spend whatever time I had left with you."

"What about the bone marrow transplant?"

"Neither of my parents are a match," she explained. "Your dad and Dr. Gerandy put me on a donor list but there's a very little chance they'll find one. If I were to wait, I would have to stay in at Seattle Children's Memorial on chemotherapy until one would become available."

"Isn't it worth it though?" I wanted to convince her so badly to fight.

"Of course it's worth it if I thought it would do any good."

"But it could work. Just give it one more chance." I could tell she was getting upset with me but I couldn't help it.

"Not now, Edward. I'm tired and I don't want to argue anymore." She laid her head back against her lumpy pillow and closed her eyes.

"Where's Charlie?" she asked without opening her eyes.

"He went home last night while I stayed. I think he's getting some of your things to bring here."

"Oh," was all she said. She looked so peaceful when she relaxed like this. The sun streaked through the window and laid across her face. "That feels nice," she commented.

"Do you want me to open a window?"

"Yes please." I walked over and opened up the window. The cool breeze whipped into the room and cut across my skin.

"I think it's still too cold outside."

"No, I want it open. It's too stuffy in here. There's an extra blanket in the drawer over there." She pointed to the small dresser in the corner of the room. I walked over and pulled out the blanket then I draped it across her frail body.

"You know," she said, "I'd be even warmer if you held me." I was hesitant about the idea. I didn't want to hurt her.

She read the hesitancy on my face and then glowered at me. "That wasn't a question and you're not going to hurt me. Now get over here."

I got up and very carefully snuggled up against her side while putting my arm around her neck. She nuzzled her head into my shoulder and I rested my head on hers.

"I'm really sorry," she said.

"For what?"

"For getting you into this mess," Bella replied.

"Bella," I turned so that she was facing me, "do not for one second blame any of this on yourself. I have been happier in these past few months than ever before."

"Me too. I just meant that if you choose to stay with me now it's not going to be easy." Her voice still sounded upset.

"I'm not choosing to stay with you. I have no options. Do you know why?"

"Why?" she asked.

"Because I love you." She smiled at my words.

"I love you too," she answered. She reached up and closed the distance between our lips. The wire beneath her nose kind of made it difficult but I wouldn't have it any other way.

She pulled away when she needed to breathe. I chuckled to myself softly while our foreheads were still pressed together. I missed kissing her so much, especially how soft and warm her lips were.

"I really wish you would have told me sooner."

"I should have. I missed you so much and I'm really sorry about not answering the door every time you rang." I laughed.

"Maybe I shouldn't have been so persistent." We both laughed.

"Charlie wasn't so happy with you but after the second day it was like a routine." We were both laughing when she started coughing. I sat up immediately trying to get her to stop but it eventually turned into a wheeze.

"Sorry," she said when she finally had air back in her lungs.

"Stop apologizing. Do you want me to go get Carlisle?" She shook her head while trying to stop her eyes from watering.

"No, it's just my throat. It's still kind of dry." I reached over and grabbed the cup of water off the table and handed it to her. She took a sip and then sighed leaning her head back against my shoulder.

"Better?" I asked. She nodded her head.

It was a little while later when Charlie entered the room. He was holding a duffle bag probably full of Bella's stuff.

"I'll be back later. Okay?"

"Okay," she agreed while she reached up to give me one last kiss.

I passed Charlie on my way out the door. I walked down the hall and out to my car. The whole time I was thinking about how I could get Bella to get treatment. There has to be some way, a weakness of hers I can attack. She needed to get the treatment. If there was anything I needed to do it was convince her of that.

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