We'll Always Have Venice
Chapter 14
Christine and Erik fell into a pattern of domesticity that thrilled Christine. She loved everything about the new situation. They would often spend hours searching the shops for items for Christine's apartment that suited Erik's taste as much as her own.
Antonio was overjoyed to be part of a normal family, having his father living with him and his mother. He loved knowing that Erik would be there when he woke up. He also loved that Erik was there to help with his French, art and music in ways that Christine could not. Her son had now had his father in his life and was blossoming.
It did not take Christine long to adjust to having Erik by her side…and in her bed. After being alone for so long, and wanting Erik to hold her again, Christine was silently delighted that Erik had insisted that they sleep together. For the first time in years, she was waking up with Erik beside her.
For the first time since Antonio was born, Christine had someone to help in his care and discipline. Erik was exactly what she needed and was more than happy to take his share of responsibility concerning his son.
Christine retuned from putting Antonio to bed just as Erik suggested. She did not know what he was up to, but suspected it would not be good. When she saw the living room lit only by a couple of candles, she stopped short and smiled.
A moment later, she was in his arms, hugging him tightly as he collapsed onto the couch, taking her with him. Laughing, Christine repositioned herself so she was tucked into the side of his body. Erik handed her a glass of wine and the couple settled back in the darkness.
With her head resting on his shoulder, Christine held tightly on to Erik, needing to possess him and assure herself that he was real. Despite the fact that Erik had been living with her for almost two months, she still had moments when she could not believe that she and Erik were back together. Surprisingly, Erik did not seem to be concerned by the way she would often cling to him and hold him close. In fact, he seemed to enjoy the sense of security it offered.
"This is lovely," Christine said with a sigh as she closed her eyes and tightened her grip even more on Erik's arm. She was exhausted and struggling to keep her eyes open, but was determined to enjoy the moment with Erik. "We need to do this more often; just sitting quietly after Antonio's gone to bed."
Erik nodded and kissed the top of Christine's head. "Just being here with you is enough."
Christine smiled and, if possible, snuggled even closer against his body. For the first time in five years, she felt like a woman. She was so used to taking care of Antonio and putting his needs before her that she forgot what it was like to be treated as something other than a mother. With Erik at her side, he managed to break the monotony of waking, caring for Antonio, closing her eyes and then doing it all again. For a while, it was nice to enjoy the quiet – just the two of them – without Antonio's noise.
"Will we still do this when we're old and grey?" Christine asked drowsily.
Sensing her tiredness, Erik took the glass from her hand and placed it on the table before she could spill it. "We'll spend the entire day sitting side by side when we're old. The only time we'll be apart is when you're running around the kitchen making a pot of English tea when Antonio and his children come to visit us."
Christine laughed at Erik's accurate description of herself and her unbreakable habit of brewing pots of English tea. She certainly loved the idea of staying by Erik's side for the rest of their lives and becoming a grandmother.
Both content with the image of their future, Erik and Christine lapsed into a companionable silence.
"Antonio," Erik said gently from the kitchen, trying to get his son's attention. "Pumpkin, it's time to get ready for lunch."
Antonio continued to ignore him as he studiously played with his diggers on the floor. Erik looked at Christine who was preparing lunch with him and then back at Antonio and narrowed his eyes, unimpressed. He carried their plates to the table and called to Antonio again.
"Bubby, time for lunch," Christine called, supporting Erik when Antonio did not move.
Antonio ignored his mother and turned his attention from the diggers to his box of Lego.
"Antonio!" Erik said sharply in a low voice, which caused the little boy's head to snap up. "It is lunchtime, put your toys away and come have lunch with us."
"No!" the boy shouted. "I want to keep playing."
"You can play after you finish your lunch."
"No!"
"Antonio!" Erik shouted as he climbed to his feet. He planted his hands on the table and frowned down at his son. "It is time to eat."
"I don't want to."
Christine was about to intervene when Erik shot her a look. "Antonio! Put your toys away and come up here. You need to eat your lunch!"
When Erik stood and walked around the table, prepared to carry his child to the table, Antonio was on his feet, running away. Erik caught him in a tight embrace and returned to the dining room.
"I want to play!"
Erik continued to ignore Antonio and placed him on his usual seat. Pointing his finger in his face, Erik instructed him to stay still.
"I don't want to eat!"
"Stay there until your mother and I have finished our lunch then."
Without saying a word, his face purpling with rage, Antonio was out of his chair and sending his plate of food onto the floor.
Christine sat back and watched, as for the first time in her life, she was not required to deal with her son. It was a relief to have someone to help and take responsibility. It was even better to not be on the receiving end of Antonio's temper.
From her place at the table, Christine could hear Antonio and Erik shouting from the boy's bedroom. She shivered with fright at the sound of their raised voices, imagining the results of their combined tempers. She heard a smash and worried who had thrown what. For a moment she wondered if she should go and check on the boys. It probably was not a good idea to allow those two, with their terrible tempers, to be in the same room together while in a rage.
"Stay here until you're ready to eat your lunch. Then you can come out, apologise and we will make you a sandwich," Erik shouted at the now silent Antonio.
A moment later, Erik returned to the table, breathing heavily, his face red. He sat down next to Christine, squeezed her hand and focused on his lunch. "He's fine," he assured her when he saw her worried expression. "He's sulking but unhurt."
She nodded, relieved and watched Erik calmly applying himself to his lunch for a minute. "You're cut!" Christine cried when she saw the thin trail of blood that dripped down his hand.
Erik looked at the wound and wiped it away with a negligent shrug.
"What happened?"
"Antonio threw one of his toys at the lamp and broke the bulb. I cut my hand picking up the glass. I'll vacuum his room, just in case I missed some glass."
The couple shared a look, both silently aware that Antonio and Erik had the same terrible temper. For a moment, she worried that he would leave her or would eventually lose his temper. Christine's face paled as she silently returned her attention to her lunch.
Christine cried silently to herself in the dark of her room that night. After such an explosive situation with Antonio earlier that day, Christine would not have been surprised if Erik suddenly decided that he was not suited to fatherhood. She was not sure what she would do if he decided that he didn't want to be a part of their family. How would she be able to mend her son's heart? How would she be able to mend her own heart?
A series of knocks on the door disturbed Christine from her misery and a moment later Erik stood silhouetted in the doorway. She thought he was happily watching a movie on TV and did not want him to see her like this. She took a deep breath as he flicked on the light and looked up at him with red teary eyes.
"I thought I heard you crying," Erik whispered as he stepped into the room, dressed in his pyjamas, and pulled Christine into his arms. He kissed her lightly on the lips. He lay down next to her, pulling her against his side. Christine moulded herself along his body and clung to him tightly, her head resting on his chest as she continued to cry.
"Why are you crying?" he asked softly as her tears soaked through his shirt.
She shook her head. It was everything and nothing. Having Erik's arms wrapped tightly around her body calmed her and chased away all the demons.
"I've never seen Antonio so out of line before. I hope that that hasn't put you off being a father. You won't leave, will you, Erik?" Christine asked as she twisted on the bed to look him in the eyes. "I have been alone for so long that it is nice to have someone to hold me and to share the responsibility of raising Antonio."
"I won't leave either of you," he promised softly as he kissed her tenderly on the forehead. "Something tells me this isn't the first night you've tried to cry yourself to sleep or wished that I was here to comfort you."
Unable to think of a response, Christine nodded and snuggled closer to Erik, almost lying on top of him in her attempt to accept the comfort that he offered. She sighed, kissed him lightly on the chin and then closed her eyes, drifting into a dreamless sleep.
A few hours later, Erik awoke when a little finger poked him lightly in the arm. He rolled over, careful not to disturb Christine, failed and then sat up. "What is it, Antonio?" he asked softly.
"Can I sleep with you and Mummy?"
"Hop in on my side," Erik said softly, wanting Christine to go straight back to sleep. His poor love was exhausted, physically and emotionally. He lifted the covers for Antonio to climb under.
Antonio ignored his father's instructions and climbed over him and settled between his parents. He gave them both a kiss and then clung tightly to Erik's arm.
"Are you really sure you still want this?" Christine asked. "It never ends." She could not imagine Erik allowing his son to come between them. Years ago, she had imagined this very scene with Erik very happily allowing their son to sleep with them. Theirs would be a perfect family. However, after the awkward meeting, which was nothing how she had hoped, she had learnt not to wish too hard.
"What do I have to do to convince you that I'm not going anywhere? I'll take the good with the bad," he whispered as he found her hand in the darkness, raised it to his lips and then closed his eyes.
Christine smiled in the dark, a big tear rolling down her cheek.
The next morning, while Antonio was still asleep Christine clung tightly to Erik as she drifted in and out of sleep. As she looked at Antonio still asleep and curled into Erik's side she fought back tears.
"It's real, Christine," Erik said softly as he raised his hand and pushed the hair away from her eyes. Her long hair was fanned across his pillow and Erik inhaled the scent. "I'm here to stay; I'm not going anywhere."
Christine smiled through her tears as she shifted, careful not to disturb Antonio, so she could look at Erik. She did not know he was awake, and she certainly did not know how he knew what she was thinking.
"I know you still doubt that I want to accept the tough aspects of parenthood, but I want you to stop. That flash of Antonio's temper is not going to scare me away. I'm here for you and Antonio."
Christine opened her mouth to ask if he meant that, but stopped when she saw his face.
"I mean it, Christine. We're a family now. I love you and Antonio and I will not be leaving either of you."
The tears she had tried to hold back, fell down her cheeks as she reached across Antonio's body to hug Erik. With a grumpy moan, Antonio opened his eyes and glared at his parents. Wiggling out of bed, he padded into the living room, leaving Erik and Christine alone.
"Besides, my love," Erik began as he closed the space between Christine and himself, "If I were a fool and decided to leave you and Antonio because of Antonio's temper or a sleepless night, I would miss out on these moments." He kissed her lightly. "I will never give them up."
Erik spent the next few days doing everything he could to convince Christine that he was planning to stay in her life forever. He could see how insecure she currently was and how desperately she needed evidence of his affection for her. So, Erik set about convincing her by embracing his roles of father and lover.
He spoilt Christine with breakfasts in bed, prepared lunch for Antonio, spent time running errands and discussed her day and concerns. Anything she needed, he did. He was always at her side, keeping her company and showing that he cared
One day, while making lunch for himself and Christine, Erik decided that he had had enough fake coffee. Admittedly his English partner had little time for anything other than tea, if he was going to stay with her, he wanted real coffee. He could not live with any more of that freeze dried coffee.
Bravely interrupting Christine's writing, Erik dragged her to a department store, ready to purchase a coffee machine.
"Why do you want a coffee machine?" Christine asked in confusion as she trailed after him in the electronics section. "What's wrong with the stuff I buy?"
"Coffee tastes better when it comes from a machine, Christine," he said, distracted as he looked at an impressive machine. He reached out a hand and played with the group head. "Besides, I would like to wake every morning and have a good cup of coffee. The best way to do that is to have a machine at your home."
Christine looked at him intently, carefully weighing up his words. When she realised that he meant to buy an expensive machine that would stay at her apartment, she smiled and impulsively hugged him. He had no need to buy something for her apartment if he did not intend to stay with her.
His efforts over the last few days now made sense. He was doing what he could to convince her that he was happy with her and Antonio. What could be a clearer way to show his determination to stay at her side than to invest in a several thousand euro appliance.
Smiling brilliantly at him, she hugged his arm. "Will you make coffee for me in the mornings?"
Erik grinned and placed a quick kiss on her lips. "I would love to."