Sometimes toys break; even your favorite ones. Same thing for people too.
Disclaimer: *looks down in defeat* I still don't own Victorious or any of the characters involved (Thanks for rubbing it in) T-T
Jade's POV
Damn it… I sigh for what seems like the thousandth time while dropping my phone onto my bed. I wanted to call Tori, but it went straight to voice mail telling me that she's turned off her phone. I knew she'd block people out… But completely? I run a hand over my face tiredly as I raise up from my sitting position. I look around my room to see if there's anything that will distract my mind from the youngest Vega before I drive myself insane. Nope, nothing eye catching. I stretch, raising my arms above my head until I hear and feel a very satisfying pop from my lower back. Having nothing better to do, I fall back onto my bed and stare up at the ceiling.
"I know you don't owe me anything, or even like me that much, but she'll need you, and it'd mean the world to me if you'd be there for her where I can't be." Trina's words float through my head. I begin to worry my lower lip as I recall the odd things that happened to me at Vega's grandma's funeral. Her grandfather had been, really friendly I guess, and Trina had said those words to me.
Tori introduced me to her grandfather and he was just smiling at me, and at first I didn't understand why he was smiling at me. Why would he force that on his face at such an awful appointment, just because he's meeting one of Vega's friends? Then I remembered that the obvious answer was that he was related to Tori, of course he'd smile for something so… Insignificant. Not that I'm not hot shit or anything, but still. I scoff at my own joke before refocusing. He then indirectly called me "beautiful", and as much as that weirded me out, it wasn't really all that bad. Especially seeing as it was apparently Vega who had told him as much. When I heard that I had a weird feeling in my stomach that made me want to blush… Kind of similar to the times when Beck would tell me he liked a certain shirt on me or something along those lines. The difference being, this was a lot stronger, almost equivalent to the hurricanes in my stomach when I ask Dad or Mom to come to one of my plays. Even now, just thinking about it makes a familiar burning sensation rush across my cheeks. Alright, enough of this blushing schoolgirl bull, we were thinking of serious things remember? Right, yeah, back on subject. He hugged me. I stiffened as a reflex, but he still didn't let go, and I got the feeling that he needed the hug… I don't know why I cared, but the thought was enough to keep me from pushing him off.
"My wife and I heard a lot about you young lady, and I'm getting the feeling that it was all true." He stated quietly, but quickly. I had wanted to ask him if that was a bad or good thing, but seeing as I shouldn't care what he thought of me, I held in my curiosity. "Thank you for helping my granddaughter, I can't thank you enough… And no matter what happens with y'all, I'll be happy with it because I know that no matter what you've done, you're good enough for her." Was the last thing he said before he pulled away, leaving me thinking about what the hell he had meant. I didn't understand what had just happened, so I simply stood there, my mind reeling to try and comprehend what he had meant. At that moment the best reply I could've mustered would've been the brilliant answer of, "Huh?". But then Vega came up to me, so I had to push that aside and focus on the task that was, being there for her. Then when the funeral had started, I practically stared at Vega the whole time, wishing I could try to do something to help her, but I never saw her shoulders shake in the slightest, so I knew that even if I had been within a touching distance, she probably would've rejected it. Then came the part of the service where you walk by the deceased person, and then offer your sympathy to the family of. I knew that Vega's grandma wasn't really there, and that talking to a dead person wasn't exactly the brightest thing to do, but even with this running through my head, the words slipped out of my mouth as I looked down at the seemingly asleep woman.
"I'll take care of her, I promise." had gently flowed from my mouth in a soft whisper before I turned away, leaving her behind, but the words still lingering over me. I saw Vega's dad sitting there, his eyes a slight shade of pink if you looked hard enough, and I had been filled with a thousand nerves at seeing him. I always get nervous around Vega's parents- not that I'd ever admit it because I'm Jade West and I don't get nervous- but whatever. I shook his hand, and I could tell that this was taking a lot out of him. Then I saw Tori sitting there, her face torn between need and determination. I could tell that she didn't want a hug, but I also knew that she needed one, so I left it up to her. I let her make the decision, and when she actually agreed and let me hug her, I was pleasantly surprised. As soon as I hugged her though I felt her tense up, almost exactly like me when I have to hug other people, so I quickly ended the exchange. Then I glanced over at Trina, I momentarily debated whether or not to give her a hug. I don't necessarily like her, and I know the feeling is mutual, but she's going through a hard time, so… I didn't understand why I cared, but I blame the youngest Vega for it. We exchanged a quick joking banter, but when I hugged her, Trina told me the words that are currently plaguing me.
"I know you don't owe me anything, or even like me that much, but she'll need you, and it'd mean the world to me if you'd be there for her where I can't be." had been whispered into my ear, too low for anyone other than me to hear. I had just promised Vega's grandmother that I'd do that, so I simply nodded at her in reply, leaving them behind as I continued shaking hands with the closest family members. Then we had gone back to the Vega household, and after I had finally gotten Tori to go to sleep- after I found out how much sleep she had gotten the past few days through her older sister- I had left.
"So what the hell happened?" I groan out as I run my hands over my face in frustration. Tori had been distant since the funeral to say the least. We had all been worried about her, the dark circles under her eyes letting us know that she hasn't been sleeping very well, and her quiet demeanor letting us know that she was being troubled by something. I thought I knew what it was, that she was just upset by the funeral, but something tells me that it's not just that. She wasn't even that distant at the funeral, so it has to be something else… But what? I huff in annoyance at the circle my mind seems to be running. "Yep… Time for a beverage." I state before forcing myself up and off of my bed. I try to keep my mind off of Vega- at least until I make it into the kitchen- but I have little success. Why won't she talk to us? No, why won't she talk to me, that's what I want to know… I shake my head to dispel the Vega related thoughts as I make my way down the stairs. Having successfully made it to the first floor, I begin walking towards the kitchen. I journey over to the black coffee pot that's sitting atop my kitchen counter, just waiting to serve its purpose. "And it was said, let there be coffee." I comment lamely as I hit the power button. As great as apple juice is… Coffee just can't be beat. I hum in agreement with my thoughts as I lean against the island, waiting for my coffee to be made. Moments later my wish is granted, and I step forward to reach into the cabinet to grab a cup to hold my drink. I pour the liquid into the black mug and set it down so that I can clean the coffee maker and give my drink time to cool. As I take out the coffee filter that's full of used grounds, my mind keeps drifting back to Vega. I wonder what she's doing right now… I wonder why she's so upset… I quietly growl at myself, fed up with how pathetic I sound to myself. By now I'm filling the new filter with fresh coffee grounds so that it'll be ready for the next pot I make. With that done I sidestep back over to the cup of coffee that's beckoning me with it's gentle curls of steam. I reach over to my left, procuring two packets of sugar from the container that holds them within easy reach since I use them so frequently. Using one of the coffee stirrers that sits next to the sugar container, I mix my concocted beverage. I gently blow on the steaming liquid as I turn to throw away the used stirrer. Still trying to cool it, I begin walking towards the living room. I retrieve a coaster from the holder on the coffee table and plop down onto the couch. Sipping the heavenly drink that is coffee, I'm able to forget about Tori and how odd she's acting. Maybe you should just go over…
The thought's crossed my mind multiple times, but I'm not sure if that's the best plan of action… On one hand, it could work in my favor, and I could maybe get Vega to talk to me, but on the other hand, she could get mad that I just showed up. Since when have you cared about just showing up at her house? My eyebrows dig down towards my nose as I contemplate this. I'm Jade West, if I want to show up at your house unexpected, then that's what's going to happen… I'm suddenly filled with something akin to anger at my own behavior. I want to sneer at myself for being a mopping around teenager, instead of someone who's going to get results by any means necessary. "Yeah, look out Vega, no more sulking around, I'll be there in a minute!" I say determinedly as I raise up from the couch, starting to slightly jog to my room before coming to a halt at the foot of the stairs. I turn around slowly, my mind being made up mid-turn. "Well, after I finish my coffee." I add lamely, walking back to my almost abandoned drink.
Okay, deep breath West, you can do this. You're going to fix this- fix her because you promised you would. Yeah, I can do this. I nod my head in agreement with myself, raising my hand to the door bell to the Vega household. Something seems off about it though, it's not radiating that homey feeling that I usually associate with this place. Probably the circumstances, it's just in my head. I press the glowing button, for the first time noticing the slightly chilling winter breeze that's become more frequent in the past days, winter having arrived. I hear footsteps behind the door and I shiver slightly, but not because of the wind.
"Who is it?" I hear a familiar, slightly annoying voice ask as the door swings open. I simply incline my head towards Trina as she looks at me with something like shock on her face.
"Took you long enough." Trina states, anger serving as an undercurrent in her voice as she turns away from me to sit down on the couch. Hearing her tone, my first reaction is to snap back at her, but her words cause me to come up short, not knowing their meaning. She glances back at me, before rolling her eyes. "You coming in, or are you just going to stand there?" She asks curtly before returning her attention to the TV that I just noticed is on. A horrendous reality TV show flashing by on the screen. "She's upstairs." Trina informs me as I step inside, closing the door behind me.
"Thanks, but, what do you mean, 'took me long enough'?" I ask, trying to let her attitude go, but it's proving to be a difficult task seeing as I never was Trina's friend to begin with, and dealing with my friend's attitudes was hard enough- let alone people I don't like. She sighs heavily.
"I asked you to be there for her, and instead you let her hide herself away. I was beginning to wonder if you'd actually show up, or if you'd just let her go." Trina replies, the anger slightly more evident now. I take a deep breath through my nose, wrestling with the raging beast that is my anger at her behavior. I know that if I say anything, it'll just be something mean, and I'm not here to get in a fight with Trina, so I simply hum in response as I turn towards the staircase that will lead me to the youngest Vega's room. The hallway is surprisingly dark, and I can see a shaft of light appearing from underneath the door that I know conceals Tori's room. I step up to it, and raise my fist slowly, mentally preparing myself for whatever is about to happen. I take a deep breath, hoping to dispel the anger Trina had formed so that it wouldn't be directed at Tori. Feeling successful with that, I rap my knuckles against the wood gently, but loud enough so that I know it'll be heard.
"Come in." A muffled voice replies. I steel my nerves as I open the door, and I'm surprisingly met with a familiar scene. Her room appears to be in the same state- clean and organized-, then there's her, sitting at her computer desk, her music library open and I can faintly hear a rock song flowing from the speakers. A faint smile appears on her face before she turns back towards the computer, facing away from me. "Hey." She says as if this were any other visit, but I can hear the strain in her voice. I'm not really in the mood for games Vega.
"Hey yourself." I reply, trying to keep my voice monotone, not wanting to let her hear the irritation at everything in it and taking it the wrong way.
"What's up?" She asks, still refusing to look at me. I close her door and walk over to her, setting down the cup of orange juice I had picked up on my way over here. She looks at it, then turns her head to look back at me, mumbling a quick thanks before returning her attention to the monitor.
"Yeah, no problem." I reply absentmindedly, now distracting myself by inspecting her room more closely. I had misjudged my earlier observations, if anything, this place is cleaner than usual- there's not a single thing out of place. I swear she's got the things on her dresser set at right angles and arranged my height and importance… It almost unsettles me a little that she has her room this way. Not that I don't appreciate a clean environment- quite the opposite actually- it's just that out of the two of us, I'm the neat one, but her room right now would put mine to shame. Then I notice the awkward silence that's fallen around us, and walk to the other side of her room to sit down on her bed. Is the comforter folded at right angles too? I gently sit down on it- almost afraid to mess it up- before redirecting my attention the half-Latina girl who's still refusing to look at me. "How's your Christmas break going?" I ask lamely, fiddling with my fingers in my lap as I do. We just got out of school today? Yeah I know…
"Uh, good so far… You?" She asks, sounding more tired than when I came in- as if this interaction was draining her of energy. Yeah… Sorry Tori, I've had enough of this.
"Hmm, pretty good… Other than the fact that one of my best friends has been acting like a total stranger for the past week and refuses to so much as answer a single text from me." I reply, the hint of hurt tingeing my voice, shocking me slightly, but I keep my face in check, simply staring at the back of her head. I can visibly see her entire frame stiffen at my words, but she still doesn't turn around. There's a sudden physical feeling of strain in the air, as if my words had started a timer on a bomb, and any words we say could cause it to go off faster. I don't know what to say, so I don't say anything at all. Instead I quietly sit here, waiting for her to say something, anything really. After what feels like an eternity, I hear her take a deep breath, before releasing it in a long sigh. I expect her to say something now, but she doesn't, instead she repeats this, over and over. I'm about to ask what she's doing, but then I hear the hitch in her breath. Then her shoulders start to shake slightly. I'm up and pulling her into my arms before I can even register the actions. As soon as my arms wrap around her, she begins sobbing violently, but it only lasts for a second before she's pushing me back. Taken by surprise at the action, I let my arms fall to my side and step back. She's looking up at me, her eyes and cheeks tinged red, tears running down her face, and her breathing still slightly labored. With a feeling of shock, I notice that she looks pissed.
"No! Don't Jade! God! Just no!" She yells at me, rubbing her face furiously, trying to get rid of the tears. I don't even know what to say, so I just stand here and look at her confused. "Y-You-" she says, her voice sounding so disgusted as she jabs her finger into my shoulder harshly. What the hell? "don't need to be here!" She continues, stepping towards me, causing me to take a step back. Out of all the mean things I've done to this girl, I've never seen her this mad at me before. "I was doing fine without you!" She practically snarls the words at me, again poking my shoulder roughly, causing me to step back again. What the- oh hell no! Suddenly I'm just as angry as Vega looks, and I can't control it this time.
"Don't even Vega!" I snap at her, my voice instantly reverting back into its harsh normality. "'I was doing just fine!"' I mock in that voice I know that she hates, repeating her lie back in her face as I take a step forward to gain back some of my yielded ground. "Yeah Vega, because worrying all of your friends is totally, 'doing fine'!" I tack on, pointing out where the fault in her words lies.
"I don't talk like that!" She yells, frustration now accompanying her anger.
"I don't talk like that!" I repeat as I step forward again, reverting back to my habit of doing things just to simply piss off the youngest Vega. I smirk at her when she backs up a step, having successfully made up all of my lost ground. She looks so mad, but at the moment I couldn't care less, I came over here to try and help her and she's going to act like that? Ha, no. I'm about to tell her as much, but then she's crying again, and she's on her knees, rocking back and forth while holding herself as if she might fall apart. I feel all of my anger instantly drain out of me- disappearing as suddenly as it had come- and then I'm crouching down so that I can be eye level with her. What just happened? I don't even know…
"I'm sorry!" Tori sobs, sounding so broken that I swear I feel my heart crack a little. "You d-didn't deserve any of that… I'm s-so sorry!" She continues, fighting through the sobs to get her apology out.
"Hey, hey, it's cool, don't worry about it." I say as I open my arms, letting her know that she can get a hug if she wants one. That torn look flashes across her face again before she shakes her head violently at me.
"I can't…" She whispers, just barely audible above her labored breathing.
"Why can't you?" I ask, rocking forward so that I'm on my knees now so that I can move easier.
"You make me weak." She replies, her words rushed, sounding almost on the verge of worried, making it sound as if she's trying to convince me- or herself- of that fact. I merely raise an eyebrow at her, silently asking her to elaborate. "Every time I hug you, it makes me feel safe, and e-every time I feel that way, it m-makes me want to cry! But I can't cry because I need to be strong right now!" She explains, her voice growing in volume with each word, her crying becoming more uncontrolled.
"Tor-" I start, shuffling closer towards her, but she rocks forwards, so that she's standing on her knees too, grabbing my shoulders and shaking me slightly, effectively interrupting me.
"No Jade! Don't you get it? I have to be strong for Trina! I have to be strong for Dad! I-" Tori starts, her voice raising in volume again, trying to convey the urgency of her words I suppose, but I interrupt her.
"Vega, your father's a grown man, I'm sure he can handle your grandmother passing." I try to reassure, hoping that directly mentioning her grandma wouldn't cause any repercussions.
"You don't understand." She states, her voice void of any emotion, her eyes looking like bottomless pits.
"Then explain it to me. Help me understand." I say quietly, almost afraid that any loud volume would cause her to begin crying again. I watch as Tori's eyes search my face frantically, as if the idea of telling me the problem was so new and foreign to her that she simply couldn't comprehend it. I can see the inner conflict that's raging within her, the confusion, fear, and so many other emotions mixing within the dark brown pools of her eyes. I can see that the fear is winning, so before she can talk herself out of telling me I grab her face in my hands, refocusing her attention on me. "It's okay Tori, you can trust me with this." I encourage quietly, still afraid to break this moment we've entered.
"I can't trust anyone Jade…" she whispers back, sounding so sad that the word "sad" doesn't even justify it- no, anguished would be a closer definition. I feel a pang of rejection that she'd think she couldn't trust me, even after I put my trust in her, full heartily and- No you haven't. I debate whether or not I should do this. The only person who knows the entire story about my home situation is Beck, and that's only because he had practically forced it out of me. I look at Vega's face, her expression looking so lost and helpless that I make up my mind with only a whisper of second thoughts.
"Do you know why my parents are never home?" I ask, my voice suddenly sounding foreign to my own ears. Tori looks taken aback by the sudden change of subject, but I need to do this, even if it's just to let myself know that I gave her my trust.
"I thought it was just because your parents were always at work or, just gone somewhere… I knew you wouldn't want me to ask either…" She answers, voice taking on the same quality that mine has, making it sound new to me too.
"Well, you're not entirely wrong…" I take a deep breath, preparing to let Vega hear a story that causes so many emotions to flood through me every time I think of it, but regardless, I feel she's earned the right to hear it. She respects my boundaries, she trusts me- maybe not right now, but I'd like to think that she did, and she's… She's my best friend. "My mom and dad met early on, my mom was," I pause to think back on the stories my mom would tell me as a kid, trying to remember the details that I just blocked out. "Sixteen I think, and my dad was twenty, and it was," I bring my hands up to make air quotes, "'love at first sight'. Well, needless to say, my dad got her knocked up, and thus, I came into the world." I say while I motion my hands towards my face, forcing a smile on my face. "Well, my dad's really superficial, he only cares about his image, so it didn't hurt that my mom was really pretty too y'know? Now, I'm not sure if you know this or not, but I'm not really big on following rules." I tell her, as if she doesn't already know, smiling fondly at the memories of all the grief I gave that man as a child. I catch a glimpse of a smile that ghosts over Vega's face."As I started getting older, and became… harder to control, he started trying harder." I inspect Vega's face, taking in her enraptured expression, the curiosity practically radiating from her. "If I did something that would be seen as 'negative' by his peers, he'd beat me until I screamed… When I finally figured that out… I stopped screaming." I say, watching her expression morph from curious, to a mix of horror and anger. I try not to shiver at the memories of the beatings that would sometimes go on for hours. How some of them would make it to where I wouldn't be able to sit down for weeks without discomfort, how I'd have to hide the bruises and-
"Did your mom do anything to stop him?" She asks, words rushed as if asking it this way would speed of the process of her finding out. I allow myself to roll my eyes at this.
"No, he convinced her that it was for the best, and since she loved him so much, his word was law." I answer, trying to keep the venom out of voice that's caused because of this prolonged conversation containing my father. The anger begins to dominate her face at hearing this news. "He eventually stopped with the physical abuse once I hit middle school, but he substituted with emotional abuse. Every time I didn't do something to his standards, he'd practically kill time by telling me how worthless I was… Among other things, but worthless was probably the most common. I'd drive myself crazy trying to gain his approval, and I guess I still do huh?" I ask, referring to the play that she had helped me fund in the past. I can see the conflicting emotions of humor and still, the ever persistent, anger fighting to reign her expression. "Then eventually, I stopped trying so hard- for the same reason that I stopped screaming. I may have been left with practically no choices in that situation, but it was never going to be said that Jade West did not put up a fight the entire time." I say, winking at her as I do so, letting her know where my stubbornness originated from. Speaking of which, I want to know where hers came from because I'd say we're pretty equal with each other on the stubborn scale. "Thus came the dyed hair, the tattoo, and me pursuing the career of an artist, simply because that's what I wanted, and still want to do with my life, so who should get in the way of that? My ungrateful father? I don't think so. Now, by this time I'm in my last year of middle school, and my father's all but given up on me. Then came the news that my mom was pregnant with my little brother." I state, my mind floating back to that day. My mom asked me to go get her the pregnancy test, and then I had to be very rude to a very nosy clerk who assumed, by my purchase, that I was easy.
"What happened?" Vega asks quietly, as if I'm the one in a trance now, and she doesn't want to break it.
"My father told me that he would not have me corrupt his son, and that we would figure something out so that I wouldn't be worrying him by possibly polluting his sure to be golden child." I reply, the bitterness of my tone quite evident. "So, my father came up with the idea that I'd take the house I currently live in since it's the closest one to Hollywood Arts, and they'd take the other house that we used for emergencies or vacations." I say, remembering how awkward it had been with my mother when her "knight in shining armor" hadn't been around brainwashing her.
"So you're emancipated?" Tori asks, her face now lacking any emotion other than confusion.
"No, but only because something like that would involve the court system, and thus would show up on a background check, and that wouldn't look good on my dad's image. So I stay at my house, he sends me a check twice a month for groceries and such, pays the utilities on the house, and stays out of my hair as long as I'll stay away from his precious family, unless it's during the holidays when he has his bosses and coworkers around. Then I have to go there and play the 'good intentioned girl dressed in black' for him." I finish, just now noticing the stinging of my eyes as a couple of tears overflow from my eyes and begin rolling down my cheeks. "I never willingly told anyone about that." I confess, laughing softly at the feeling of a weight being lifted from my shoulders. I never realized how much my childhood had bugged me until now.
"Your dad sounds like an ass." Tori says as she wipes a few stray tears from my face, smiling softly as she does, but I can hear the undercurrent of truth in her words. She genuinely doesn't like him because of the way he treated me… This thought makes me smile for some reason.
"I- I just want you to know that you can trust me okay?" I ask, my tone almost begging for her to believe me. I see the familiar clash of emotions in her eyes, but it's gone as quickly as it came.
"I know Jade… I' really sorry it's just- so much has been happening in such a short amount of time, that I can't handle all of it." She admits, sounding just as tired as her words suggested. She takes a deep breath and I almost want to hold my breath in hopes that she'll let me try to help her through whatever else has come up. She smiles at me, and with an almost worrying sense of humor says, "My mom's been cheating on my dad with his partner, Gary." Oh shit.
"Oh shit." I say the words before I can actually catch myself, and then restrain myself from face palming right there. She just keeps that same smile in place, and then I actually realize how much pain she's in. She's almost delirious with it. "Tori, why didn't you tell me?" I ask, wanting to try to comprehend what's going through her head. Her smile falls away as she contemplates this.
"I guess- with everything that I had thought was concrete solid in my life proving to be as steady as water, it caused me to rethink everything… Like, if my parents' marriage wasn't rock solid, then how could our friendship be? Y'know?" She asks, her inner conflict shining through her words clearly, but it still pains me to know that she would doubt our friendship in the least.
"Yeah, but, we're best friends Vega, you're just gonna have to accept that okay?" I ask, smiling and nudging her shoulder with my elbow as I move to stand up- standing this long on my knees causing my legs to fall asleep. She smiles up at me as I extend my hand to her to help her up. Metaphorically and physically. Sap. Shut up.
"Well, if you insist…" She replies while pouting at me. I roll my eyes at her antics. She brings her bottom lip between her teeth before letting it go and opening her mouth as if to ask a question, only to close her mouth and begin worrying her lip again. I raise an eyebrow at her. "Will you please stay tonight?" She asks, and if I hadn't already been willing to do anything for her at this point, the pain and loneliness lacing her voice would have convinced me. I make a big deal of thinking about it, scrunching up my face, bring my hand up to my chin as if I was truly baffled by this notion and humming lowly. I take a deep breath through my teeth and roll my eyes until they land on her face, a mixture of playful annoyance and actual worry.
"Well, if you insist." I reply, mocking her earlier words. She heaves an exasperated breath before smiling at me.
"I don't talk like that!" She retorts, still smiling at me. Yeah, yeah, yeah, heard it all before Vega.
A/N: Hey guys! :) Yeah, I know this is a week late, but in my defense, I have one word. "School". An Advanced curriculum surprisingly takes up a lot of my time :/ Plus, I might've had a minor case of Writer's Block on this chapter (I'm not entirely happy with it still, but I think it's as good as I could get it.) Jade, you poor baby :( Well, I'll keep this short and sweet, thank you if you've reviewed, favorite'd, and/or followed, it means a lot to have you like this story enough to do so :) So review and let me know what you think! :D Hope this improves your day in the slightest, see you next week! ~Natt