[A/N Hello everyone. Thank you all so so much for your patience for this chapter. And for all the new favorites and followers. It really does make me smile to see the interest in my little story. And I apologize ahead of time for all the letters that get sent in this one. I just felt like some of the characters needed to speak for themselves and, well it's not like they can just text "hey, I like you" and get it over with. And I'm sorry to anyone who thinks that I'm deviating from Undertaker's "real" persona. There really is so much about the guy that no one knows, but we sure do love getting all that juicy new info! I hope you all enjoyed the amalgam of recent holidays! Anywho, enjoy this bit, I put a lot of soul into it. 3 ~DMLR]

Disclaimer: I don't own Kuro, just the OC's, and if my representation of any character isn't how you think they ought to be, bite me, that's what they're like here.

Chapter 14

I woke to the smell of breakfast cooking. I smiled as the aroma delightfully roused me - then panicked. I was not cooking. I sat up, but noticed as my eyes adjusted to the light that both Grell and Amethyst were still sleeping around me. This got my complete attention. With everything that had been happening lately, my mind shot straight to the worst. Someone was in the house cooking, but who?

Undertaker was supposed to be out. Sebastian- well he was supposed to be across town tending to his master at the circus. But he's made it very clear that he can be wherever he wants. It was even proven during the Jack the Ripper case. I may not have been there, but anyone has to believe it when he can get testimonies from over a hundred people and make tea before Ciel's carriage got home.

As I slowly rose and quietly crossed the room, I thought about the person in the kitchen. I knew it didn't matter if I crept or not, they would know. But I couldn't help it. I needed to know who was there. And I was terrified of what, who, I would find. I could see in my mind the smirk of a man confident in himself. Pleased to surprise me and devilishly handsome, he would greet me softly as breakfast is not finished nor the other guests awake. This would be a moment for only me, just as he likes it. As I rounded the corner I saw the figure's shadow from the kitchen. Tall and lean with pulled back hair. The wonderful smell of food only got stronger as I drew closer.

My heart was pounding when I reached the door. I stood there, watching the shadow set down a pan and turn to the doorway. He knew I was there. I took a breath, and stepped into the doorway. My eyes shot past the dark clothing, to the smirk I knew would be there.

What I saw in those lips were pleasure, as I had suspected. But when they dropped in concern, I registered who I had looked at. At my gasp, and probably the look on my face, Undertaker hurried to me. I held him as hard as I could. My legs shook beneath me, threatening to collapse. Had I really been that scared?

I nearly cried as soon as Grell left the shop. Amethyst knew something had happened that morning after how rattled I was.

"Breakfast really was delicious. Thanks a lot." Amethyst sat down in the den. She watched us sit down on the chaise.

I stared at my knees. It was then that a hand came into my sight. The nails were long and black, and there was a scar along the pinky. The hand covered mine gently. I looked up at him. The face I had looked at, but not really seen that morning. The mass of his hair was pulled away, some bangs pushed aside revealing his unscarred eye. The way he looked back at me, without judgement, and a slight smile on his lips helped ease my nerves.

"I thought you were Sebastian." I sighed. "I'm sorry to worry you." I tore my eyes away and this time felt no resistance. "I'm just scared of when he will pop up next." I looked back at my Shinigami's face, scared of what I may see there. His hair was no longer pulled back, but hung low, nearly engulfing his nose. Tears filled my eyes. "He sent me a note. It reminded me of how different demons really are from humans, seeing how they seek out their desired goals. I think I envy him for that." I stopped, acutely aware of Amethyst, who was trying not to pay attention, but still listening. I let go of Undertaker's hand, returning to the sight of my lap. I wanted to tell him how I really felt about him, but my mind kept telling me to go slower, take my time. It was almost painful though, hiding a feeling like that. I closed my eyes against the tears. They ran down my face and fell. I opened my eyes again, to see that hand. In it, was a small pool of water.

"These tears are too precious to waste." Him saying that only made my eyes well up again.

But no more tears were going to fall that day. The reality of my situation had started to sink in. I was living with a "retired" grim reaper in Victorian London, I had a demon trying to seduce me to learn my secrets, I had a power to move people and object through time and space; and I was stuck there. With my handsome knight in a coffin, who's guaranteed to go nutso sometime in the relative future...

No more tears.

I hugged Amethyst and thanked her for coming to see me. I really did have a fun time. She was so supportive that anyone else in her place would most likely have gone insane by now. Just goes to show how weird I was before, I guess. Best friends are awesome.

I'm not even sure when she left anymore. I somehow got used to getting her around, and she just left while I was in the kitchen. Undertaker looked at me with a little smile. It was a look I hadn't seen before. Like he was proud of me. I smiled back and ran over to hug him. He smelled sweet, like formaldehyde, when I embraced him. I let his arms wrap around me protectively. It never failed to calm my nerves and brighten my mood; being around him like this. I leaned my face into his chest and breathed in deeply the smell that was him. I never understood why some people hated the smell of death. I guess that's why I was having so many problems lately. I just never say "no" to a little danger. But really, the kiss of death is just too sweet to resist. And in that thought, like he knew what I was thinking, the silver haired man gently took my head from his chest and kissed me.

Hey there, Chuckles

I know this is probably a weird thing to get advice about, especially from someone so much younger. But believe me you need this. Your love life is in dire need of a boost. And don't think I'm doing this for me, I honestly don't need the drippy deets from our mutual friend here, but I'm also a little tired of the 'tude of the unlaid masses. You both have gone too long without action. I'm not saying just bang her and get it over with, I do understand the time you live in and all that. But hey, us 21st century girls are used to going a bit faster in the ways of love. I mean, she's a huge sucker for all the romantic crap, but she also needs more physical contact. Trust me, she is jonesing. Judging by how we initially met, it's been a while for you. You have since gotten control over most of your impulses. But come on, you can't just live in this awkward socially-acceptable-non-sexy zone. It's you guys' private life. You obviously like each other, no reason to keep it a big secret. If it's a shy thing, I totally get that. I mean, yes we're like two completely different people, but I know plenty about being shy about stuff. And you have plenty to be shy about. By now you know she can accept anything you throw at her. She literally traveled through time and space to see you, even if it was accidental. She knows a lot about you, and is very dedicated in those feelings. But if you want to win against Sebastian in keeping her, you're going to have to put more of an effort into it. Again, you don't have to be abrupt or anything, but she isn't a daisy you can just ruin. She wants you. Seeing you happy makes her happy. And just like any mammal, happiness can often be lusty. Be brave and act on some of those emotions.

~Amethyst

I looked at the young woman on the slab that day. She was rather pretty. We had just finished washing her body and hair and were preparing to start what Undertaker called "The Dance." As He explained it to me, each person was getting ready for their big day; the greatest moment since their birth. And since they, of course, were not there to do it themselves, we had to make them look their best. As I handed him tools to cut away organs and specimens of their life, I looked not only at his face as he showed me the intimate ways of his work, I also looked at the subject of his admiration. I tried to put myself into his eyes. As someone who worked so closely with handling lives and the taking of them. The pieces of the people he kept said a lot about him. He didn't do it for science, that much I could tell. And as I listened, it seemed a lot more personal. He took things that meant something to the original owner. Be it a diseased lung that greatly impacted the life of a child or the festered wound of a soldier. Obviously, I didn't get why he took the stomach of this girl, but maybe he would tell me later if I asked. I could not interrupt "The Dance." He called it that because of the fluid motions he used. Often he would become so drawn into the work that he would turn and sway to a tune in his head. Seeing their structure so closely he could envision how they moved, how they liked to be touched, give them one last thrill.

Somehow, seeing him like this, made me think of the Beast woman at the circus. She did have a rather similar figure to this girl. I knew that sometime that night, Sebastian was getting information from her. I felt somewhat jealous about how he was doing it. Damned demon, using her like that. Playing with her emotions, though ultimately making her feel so…

I caught myself blushing and looked guiltily over at Undertaker. He was still working, delicately cleaning one of his surgical knives. From the look of things, I had spaced out for at least an hour. Undertaker had already examined, weighed and added his basic preservatives and was setting up for the cosmetic portion. I shook myself and began walking to the door. "I just need to get some water." I added, not knowing if he was listening or not. He made no move to stop me as I slipped into the hallway. I shut the door behind me and went into the front parlor. I sat down on a coffin and sighed. This new place had thrown so much at me that only now was I given enough time to breathe and think. I was surprisingly drained from all the emotions I had been feeling since I arrived. Back home I was a wallflower. I wasn't the girl that went to parties and had adventures. My emotional well-being was in the hands of strangers who read things I wrote from the safety of my room. It was a circuit of nerd fueled nerd-dom.

I was tired. All the worrying and interaction with new people in a world I had only dreamed of was far more emotionally draining than expected. Don't get me wrong, the excitement and wonder was unlike anything else, but all of it was starting to turn on me. I needed to relax.

I sighed, and ran my hands over the wood of the coffin beneath me. It was smooth and solid. But it was also entirely without personality, most likely meant to be furniture if not an example of what a basic coffin could be. I know there were several that never left the shop. I saw the coffin Undertaker usually popped out of for dramatics in the corner, and the one he slept in - it was gorgeous! He had spent a long time on it through the years and he must add things to it every so often. It was along that line of thought that I decided to find a coffin I could sleep in. There were plenty here, waiting to be occupied. So, I got up and looked at what the front room had to offer. Most of the coffins here were displays of general sizes to show skill and craftsmanship, various woods or options for builds. A few were orders from the loved ones who were aware that a family member was close to passing and decided to buy in advance.

Of the finished ones in the shop, I only found a couple that I could fit in. But none were within reach. Sighing, I leaned against Undertaker's merchandise. My head rolled to the side, I was growing more weary. And then I saw it. There was a coffin I hadn't seen before in my examining. The piece was on the ground, but in a corner fashioned to hide it from the observing eye. I wandered over to give it a thorough look.

The wood was a dark oak, smooth yet unpolished. Thick patterns adorned the foot of the box. I looked to the head and gasped at what I saw. Engraved into the upper portion of the coffin lid, was an image of myself. It was almost perfect, though I felt it made me a little more beautiful. In my arms was a large bouquet of roses that rose partway out of the woodwork, giving a wonderful 3D effect. I was stunned. When on earth had this been made? As I opened the lid, papers fluttered on the inner lining. Cautiously, I looked around before removing my work slippers and getting into the coffin. It was just the right size.

Sitting in the shell, I took up the papers inside and read what was on them.

EULOGY

A fair maid once fell to the cold. So out of place, her eyes lifted to the sky. It was then that she made me feel a small bit of redemption for my life, and for that I thank her.

Dear Miss,

I don't know how to give this to you now. You woke up today. I found you in such a state that your life seemed just ready to go. As you already know of me, I can say that since my retirement, I can't really tell when everyone will go. But while you slept, I took care of you. Your life was strong within you, yet fragile. Your fevered sleep, even then inspired beauty. I had to make a resting place equal to you. And since you looked to have lived a great injustice, I wanted to give you the best I could.

Miss,

I still haven't told you about the coffin. I don't know why, I'm sure you would love it. But now that we have spent time together the work just feels incomplete. I guess this is why I never had human companions. If I knew every one of my customers person the way I know you, I would never be able to get any work done; trying to make everything perfect to the last detail.

You impress me further every day with your knowledge and abilities. I would never expect a human girl to be as calm and even happy around creatures like myself. You say you know about us, the Shinigami, but could you possibly understand what I've done-what I am capable of?

My Dear,

You are amazing. That a demon can knock on my very door and not steal you away. You must be destined for something truly great. There I go babbling, I haven't had someone capture my attention like this since I was, well, a young man. You inspire such feelings in my heart that I cannot understand how I can have them. I'm still sorry for all the times I have pressed myself to you in earnest. It was quite out of line. Yet somehow I feel like it wasn't all my doing. Perhaps you desire to be wooed in this way. Maybe that is a whimsy of my imaginings as well. Why would someone, a human, especially you, wish to be wooed by me?

By this point, I imagine I may never give you this letter. You appear to know quite a deal about the world you find yourself in today, but I am still a bit of a mystery to you. How can I tell you what I've done? Would you hate me for it? I shall resign myself to being the goofy man you care for. I do not want you to fear or even hate me for being what I am. I doubt you would view any of your new friends the same if you knew how us Shinigami came to be. Even with that knowledge, what would you do?

I am beginning to feel as if this is my true punishment. To feel this way about someone I can never have, who will eventually die. I told you before that I had been in love. It was true; there were men and women whom I grew close to. The romances were short, steamy, but I was never able to reveal any truth to them. Despite how much I cared, I had to leave their lives and watch from afar as they were taken away from this world. I tried to find a companion within my own kind, but hardly any Shinigami are interested in the affairs of love, or more specifically in me. They want mostly to repent their sins and move on, and others are only interested in attaining the hearts of things they cannot have. Our good scarlet one is a fine example of that. To think what goes on in his mind-it makes me want to pop him open to see! No, I exist on the edge now, a man no one wants to go near for fear of my insanity - or my power. And I think that must be the reason you bewitch me. You are funny, and intelligent, and brave. You have seen much wrongness in the world and still wish to carry on. You are stronger than I am. Knowing what I am and still caring for my company means a lot. Even if you don't know the whole truth of it.

But one day you will know the whole truth of my affections for you. Maybe I should bake a bone cake with a red-velvet marrow! Or get you a rose scented salt for your bath, I'm sure you would enjoy those. I should just wait for the right moment to tell you and just maybe, I might feel like a man -a simple man- once more.

I was stunned by the letter. It had been written several times, and each time was more heart wrenching than the last. So, Undertaker really did care for me. And there was a secret to how Shinigami were made. But it didn't sound like he was going to tell me. Perhaps I needed to do some research of my own. But looking at the coffin I was in and the note in my hand, I was glad I had found them. It instilled a sort of peace in my mind. The weariness in my body was finally able to take over and I let it. I drifted off to sleep in my own coffin, with the letter in my arms. And I was happy.

[Alright guys, thank you so much for sticking through this far or for the newer folks, for at least taking the journey. At this point I'm at a big conflict of how the next series of events is going to come around happening. I don't want to give away any details I but I want your honest opinions about how these two are coming together. Don't be afraid to criticize me, it keeps me in check when you do. But I want to know how you guys feel about the relationships between the characters. Tell me what you like, don't like, theories you have, you could even just chat with me about something completely unrelated. I really do love hearing from you guys.]

If it makes things easier for some people I'm basing lots of the story progression on the romances, so... Here's a poll for the lazies

1. I like the pacing, keep things slow

2. The tension is too much JUST LET THEM DO IT

3. Seb 4 ever

4. when is she going home, already?!

5. This fic is poop

6. Needs more external conflict