Rainy Day

If people only knew the half of it, I wouldn't be the only hated one. Sully, Jay, and even Hazel would go down with me. I still didn't understand how Fareeza could turn me down like that, like I meant for us to be in that awkward situation. I really thought I was going to more on from Hazel.

'I will dig a hole. Save my pennies for a rainy day.'

As if my life wasn't complicated enough with the "love stuff" last night my brother and I fought over something as minuscule as a cd. I didn't really get what his problem was, but now I was stuck with bruises all over my neck and the realization that he could have killed me if he wanted to.

He would have if my mother hadn't been there. The scary part was that I thought I deserved it and almost wanted him to finish the job.

'I will dig a hole.'

"Hey dude, what's up?" Sully greeted me with Darcy hanging off his side. This was a surprise because he never spoke to me unless— "We've got this thing going on and I want you to drive."

"What? No man, I'm through with that." I paused, watching Fareeza walk by like a fresh breathe of air

"Look, you don't get a choice. Do you want the money or not?" Jay spoke up, so I was guessing it was his idea.

"And who gets the car?" I wondered.

"We all share it. Fix it up for another one--" Sully tried to explain.

"All right." I agreed. The cycle was continuing and there was nothing I could do to stop it. Like a person going 60mph about to hit a deer, I was stuck. It was inevitable.

Walking into English class, which was always a bore, was suddenly made more interesting when Fareeza came into the classroom. I sat in aw, watching her walk to her desk and take out her things. Red. She was so befitting in the color red.

'Saving pennies for a rainy day.'

As Ms. Kwan looked away, I tossed her a note. Fareeza glanced up at it, opened it quickly then tore it up. I guess she didn't want to meet me in the hallway. I was going to talk to her anyway. I just had to wait fifty-five more minutes.

"Hazel…"I breathed noting that Fareeza probably took an alternate route to avoid me.

"What do you want Mohammed?" She hobbled down the hallway and I could tell she was in the first stages of pregnancy, or maybe that was because she told me.

"What does Jimmy think?"

"Jimmy's my husband and he's happy." She averted her eyes as if it would kill her to look at me. "We're happy." Hazel corrected herself.

"So, you're not going to tell him the truth?" I wondered as we both refrained from blurting out the secret that could drastically change both of our lives.

"We don't even know if it's true Mohammed, so let it go." Hazel sat down tiredly.

'I will build a wall.'

"I know this won't make you feel any better but … I still love you." I whispered in her ear, kissing the side of her face and squeezing her shoulder before running off. It was easier this way. And if my feelings were half as strong for Hazel as they were for Fareeza, I knew what I had to do.

"What was that dude?" Sully wondered with a laugh as Mike and Andrew followed his lead, as usual. "I thought you were getting dumped by that oinker, but what's going on with you and Hazel?"

"Nothing. So, what are we doing tonight?" I asked, needing to do something really stupid to get my mind off the things that really mattered.

'Saw it coming from a mile away. I'm not scared.'

"We're not doing anything unless …" Sully and the guys always got me to do stupid stuff like what I was about to agree to. Last time it was stealing and now vandalism. I nodded, walking away slowly.

"I will just play dumb.'

It was the only way that I could pretend like they were my friends, prove that I wasn't a sissy, and get invited to the best parties. Maybe I would find someone better than Fareeza tonight. Even if it was just a hook up, anything would be better than this.

"What are you doing?" Someone asked scaring the shit out of me as I stopped spray painting on the school's outside walls.

"Me and the guys are having fun." I admitted when I recognized Fareeza's figure. What was she doing out here?

"And where are they?" She demanded with her usual 'tough girl' tone. "I don't see anyone else around."

"I thought you didn't care."

"I don't." Fareeza shrugged it off, but continued talking anyway. "You could get suspended for this. Why do you keep breaking the rules so that you'll fit in with those losers, those assholes?"

"They're my friends."

"I guess there's not room for both of us then." Her eyes narrowed at me before she rushed off. Whatever.

"Hey, I'm done." I whispered as soon as I noticed the guys had reappeared.

"So?" Sully laughed as he kissed Darcy wildly. I didn't even ask about Amy. I knew how he treated people, how he disposed of them when they weren't any use to him anymore.

"So, where's the party?" I sighed, beginning to get a little angry.

"Oh, that." Sully paused. "It's cancelled. Better luck next time."

"What about other plans?" I suggested, needing to get my mind off things.

'I won't hear a single word that's said. I will bite my tongue, never sing another song again. I'm not scared.'

"They don't involve you. Now, we're busy." Darcy clung to Sully's hand, following him to his car.

"Fareeza!" I yelled, trying to catch up with her. "Need a ride home?" I smiled suddenly.

"I'm really disappointed in you." She began as I handed her a flower.

"Why? It was just harmless fun."

"Mohammed, don't you see what you're turning into? I cannot believe you. I thought you were more than that--"

'Try when you're inside's out.'

Ignoring her anger, I kissed Fareeza suddenly who first resisted, but then relaxed. "Jerk!" She yelled, hitting me with her bag after it was over.

"Don't you want to know how I feel about you? How I can't…" My voice trailed off as I was flicked off in response. Whatever. I knew just the place that would make me feel better.

'I don't even try. I know I've seen the best I'll have. I don't even try. I don't even want to take my chances. I don't even try.'

Arriving at my favorite cliff, I just sat there for a moment. It was kind of calming and I forgot about all the people that hated me and how the list kept growing and growing. This wasn't like I wanted it to be at all and no one was even giving me a chance.

"Great." I sighed. I started thinking about them again. I stood at the edge of the cliff, looking at the sky and the air that separated me from the next platform down. It was beautiful. I could just imagine myself flying through the air.

"Maybe I should…"

'Clouds are coming. Air gets heavy. Looks like trouble on a rainy day.'

As I walked closer to the edge, closing my eyes the idea that a short jerk or loss of footage made me want to turn around. I couldn't do it. Suicide wasn't going to set me free, but give me a one-way ticket to hell.

'Sun starts sinking, can't see my shadow. Looks like trouble on a rainy day.'

Almost on cue, the thunder started as did the rain, drenching my clothing and cooling me down. I sighed, trying to turn around the other way to look at what I would've been leaving behind. I smiled with hopes that things would get better. I tried to walk towards my car and off the platform, but felt my left foot slip from under me.

Now I was hanging off the edge of the cliff by my hands. I tried to scream, but stopped because I didn't want to waste my energy. I was getting out of this. I had too much to live for. I had to tell Fareeza … and be apart of Hazel's life somehow… Grunting I started to pull myself up slowly, but slipped again. I knew I was going down. I said two last prayers- Sura Al Fatiha (The opening) and Iklas (Purity).

'Holes uncovered, walls will crumble. All spells trouble on a…'

I closed my eyes, feeling the wet rain and air that I had trusted so many minutes earlier pull me down. And then I fell. Then, there was nothing.

'Rainy day.'

(A/N: I'm leaving tomorrow and I don't know if I'll have access to a computer or not. Yet, I will try to put up the follow-up chapter to Manny and Spinner's crash. Also, after that Emma's story and Alex's follow-up story will be next. If I get to update again, the next few stories will be like a new 'season.' So make sure and review. I'll also try to get another chapter of Wild Horses and In the Deep up for you guys! –NL)