I apologize for the delay on this. As you can imagine, this story is tough to write. My mojo also decided to take a hike for a while, but I'm hoping it's back for the foreseeable future.

I can't thank you all enough for your thoughtful reviews. They are so motivating, and I appreciate you all sticking with me.

Endless thanks to Twilly, Twilightladies1, LyricalKris, and Lellabeth for giving me such wonderful feedback.

SM owns all things Twilight. Everything else is mine, including any remaining mistakes.

Chapter 14 - Dad

Waking up in my bed to a mass of silky brown hair in my face and a warm little body against me is something I've missed. A fuckton.

I shove my nose into her curls and inhale deeply... Coconuts.

Smoothing her hair down and out of my face, I try to remember how she got here. I trail my hand down her arm as she breathes deeply and evenly. We had a small Thanksgiving dinner last night at the girls' apartment. Bella wanted to cook, but she couldn't be on her feet that long, so I picked up food for us. Alice & Rose had already gone home for the holiday, so it was just the two of us. Bella couldn't travel, and I didn't want to leave her. Thankfully, Mom understood.

Bella has stayed on strict bed rest and still takes medication to help regulate her blood pressure. She's had to quit her job at the bookstore and take incompletes in her classes, which just about killed her. All that work she put in...

After dinner last night, we watched a movie, sitting comfortably on the couch. I may have been too focused on the warm arm and leg that were pressed against mine, not to mention every little movement Bella made, to pay much attention to whatever circus movie she put on. Something about water and elephants.

I've accepted the fact that we're 'just friends', but that doesn't mean my feelings for her have gone away or even lessened at all.

Some days, I almost wish they would. It would surely relieve some of the constant pressure in my chest that only increases when I'm around her, which is more and more lately.

After the movie, we talked about our latest Skype conversation with Carlisle and Esme. They're planning to come out here early next month and stay until the baby is born. Bella's due on the nineteenth; they'll arrive on the fifth. It'll be nice to finally meet them in person and hopefully have a little time to get to know them even better than we already have.

I remember asking Bella last night if she wanted me to stay over, and she… She shifts against me, and all thoughts leave my brain, my cock jumping to life against her ass—her very naked ass.

She's naked and in my bed. This hasn't happened in… forever. Her hand skims down my forearm, leaving fire in its wake, and my groan reverberates around the room. No one makes me feel the way she does with such a simple touch.

"Edward…"

My hand slides over her flat stomach and down to feel her, to feel how much she wants me. Did we have sex last night? We must have. We're both naked. Why can't I remember?

Straining to lift the memory to the surface, I use my fingers to bring gasps out of her, all the while grinding my cock into her ass.

"Edward…"

My eyes fall shut as she writhes against me. "Mmmm, Bella."

"Edward?"

When I open my eyes again, the room is dark. No morning light streaming in through my blinds. I'm on my back, not my side, but I still catch a faint whiff of coconuts.

"Bella?" I ask groggily.

Her hand rests on my forearm near my wrist.

"You always were a heavy sleeper." There's a smile in her voice.

Clearing my throat and realizing I was just dreaming about groping a very naked and wet Bella, I try to adjust myself under the covers without her noticing. "Are you okay?"

"Um…"

I bolt upright, and she gasps.

Flattening my palm over her belly, I ask, "What? What is it?"

"I'm sorry. It's just that this headache keeps getting worse, and I just feel kind of off. I don't know. Do you feel okay? Maybe it was something we ate?"

Grumbling, I start extricating myself from my twisted sheets. "I knew I should've stayed at your place. How did you get here? Did you drive? Shit." My foot catches on the sheet, and I stumble coming off the end of the bed. Leaning on the dresser, I shake my foggy head, still trying to wake up.

Dresser?

Bella giggles lightly. "You did stay, Edward. You're in Alice's room."

"Oh."

She groans in pain, and in the dim light, I see her clutching her head.

"Get dressed," I snap, before realizing I'm being an asshole because I've just been pulled out of the best damn dream I've had in maybe forever. And because I'm insanely worried about her. "Please."

"Why?"

"I'm taking you to the hospital."

She makes a whine of protest but trudges to her room to dress. I hope.

I find my clothes from last night and pull them on, fishing my keys out of the pocket of my jeans and noticing it's just after 5AM.

Stepping into Bella's doorway, I find her sitting on the edge of her bed in just her bra, one leg in a pair of leggings, knees spread and leaning forward with her head in her hands. Ignoring all the skin on display and her panties with little blue stars on them, I move to sit beside her and run my hand up and down her back.

"Let me help you. We need to get going."

"My sweater…" She points to a chair across the room with some clothes on it.

I find a purple one that's really long and assume it's the one she wants. I hope I'm right because I'm not going to waste time finding the perfect fucking outfit for her to wear to the damn hospital.

Yep. Still grumpy.

Bella leans heavily on me while I help her dress, and I'm still ignoring certain parts that take me back to the dream I was having. Ugh. Not the time.

Grasping her hand tight as I drive, I swivel my head toward her so often, I think I end up watching her more than the road. I've never been so scared in my entire life.

She presses her forehead against the cool window, says it helps with the pain.

When we get inside and tell them what's going on, there is a flurry of activity. They get her into a gown, in the bed, and hooked up to a gazillion machines within a few minutes. The now-familiar thump-swishing starts up from the monitor over her belly, and I never let go of her hand unless I absolutely have to.

The nurse who checks Bella's blood pressure says it's spiked, and it's likely they'll have to get her delivered as soon as possible.

There goes my knee again.

"Call Carlisle and Esme," Bella says to me, eyes wide with panic. "And Diane. Please. Oh, and my dad. And your mom." She looks at me as I stare blankly at her. "You did bring your phone, right?"

"Oh! Yeah. Sorry." I dig it out of my pocket and start dialing. Get it together, Cullen. "Is it okay to use this in here?" I ask one of the nurses fussing over Bella.

"Yes. It's fine in the rooms."

"Okay."

Checking the time, I see it's still early, but I would say this constitutes an emergency. I call Diane and ask her to call Carlisle & Esme to kill two birds with one stone. Then my mom, who's hysterical because she doesn't know if she can get down here soon enough. Then Charlie, who's not happy it's me on the other end of the line waking him up, but fuck. I had to let him know. He has to work, so I promise frequent updates, and our call ends abruptly.

At least I can get back to Bella now… who's crying. Shit. Lying on her left side, she wipes the tears that are dripping over the bridge of her nose, clutching the hospital blanket with her other hand.

"What can I do?" I catch a tear with my thumb, and she looks up at me with those deep brown eyes that always make something stir deep within my chest.

She sniffles and tells me I'm already doing it. Just being here is enough.

"Where else would I be?" I kiss her temple, lingering there, inhaling... Coconuts.

Bella gives me a watery smile when I pull away, and I sit in the chair by her bed, grasping her hand tight and pressing my forehead into it. This is getting to be a familiar scenario.

My knee goes crazy when the door opens rather loudly, and I sit up to see several people rush in. Usually they knock softly and enter, and it's usually just one or two people.

My eyes dart from person to person until they land on the one who looks to be the doctor. We were already told Bella's regular doctor is away on vacation, so this person is new to her and our situation.

"Bella, I'm Dr. Cope." She smiles kindly. "I'll be taking care of you and your baby. Things are going to move pretty fast. The baby is in distress, and your pressure isn't coming down." She glances at me and then back to Bella. "Since you're not in active labor, I feel it would be best to get the baby out as soon as possible. We'll be taking you back for a c-section as soon as everything is prepped."

Bella had calmed down some, but at this news, her face crumples, and gut-wrenching sobs rip from her throat. Placing my palm on the side of her head, I bring my face close to hers. "It's gonna be okay, Bella. You're gonna be just fine. They do these all the time. Piece of cake. Right, doc?" I glance at Dr. Cope, and she nods.

"Exactly. But we do need to get her ready. Dad, do you want to be in the O.R.?"

I straighten up, and Bella looks up at me, nodding frantically and squeezing my hand.

"Yeah. Yes. I'll go in with her."

I might pass out, but I have to be there for her. She's gone through so much already, and now add major surgery to the list.

When they wheel her out, after I've kissed her temple one more time, I'm left standing there in the sterile suit they've made me put on, trying to get as tight a grip on this situation as I have on the little paper hat in my hand.

The girl I love is about to be sliced open, and our baby is going to be pulled out of her. And then… what? We just hand her over? Here ya go… Have a nice life?

I knew all of this would happen—minus the slicing—but I'm suddenly so angry and scared I can't think straight, so… I pace. And pull at my hair. Bella's getting prepped in the O.R., and I can't go in yet. When I'm able to hold her hand again, I'll calm down.

I know we have time to spend with the baby if we want it. We've talked about seeing her versus not seeing her, and we both want to spend some time with her before we sign the papers. It's going to make it all that much harder, but if we don't see her at all right after she's born, we'd both regret it. No question.

Bella also wants to breastfeed just for the first couple of days so the baby will get the… whatever it's called. The first few days' worth of milk is supposed to be really good for her, and Esme and Carlisle agreed that if Bella's comfortable, they want the baby to have it.

Thank God a lot of these details are already worked out. This would be a hundred times harder if they weren't.

Carlisle and Esme have really been a Godsend. They're very understanding and have reminded us often that they're extremely appreciative of the gift we're giving them. We feel at ease in our decision, as much as is possible in a situation like this.

If only things could be different...

"Edward?" A nurse pops her head in to the room. "We're ready for you."

Nod. Tuck hair in to weird hair-net thing. Deep breath.

Here goes… everything.

Bella squeezes my hand through the entire procedure. I'm able to sit right behind her and continuously wipe the tears that slide toward her hair.

The doctor is good about describing what's happening, so when she says the baby is out and we don't hear anything, panic flutters in my chest. Bella looks up at me, and our eyes lock. "Is she okay?" she asks.

"We're just getting some fluid out of her lungs. Come on, baby girl."

I peek over and see skinny arms and legs sticking out in all directions. The doctor is suctioning stuff out of her nose and mouth, and then she makes a gurgling sound just before the screaming starts.

"There we go," the doctor coos as she rubs the baby's back, picking her up and handing her off to a nurse as she continues to wail. "Good lungs on her," she says with a smile.

I give her a half-grin over the curtain and then sit back down. I do not need to see what's happening now that the baby's been taken away.

"How does she look?" Bella asks, her voice shaking.

"Tiny."

"Too tiny?"

"No. Just tiny. She looks good, though. Pink. That's good, right?"

"Yeah. Pink's good." Her smile is small but genuine as relief seems to settle in.

"You did it, Bella."

She scoffs. "I didn't do anything but lie here. We haven't even gotten to the hard part yet."

"I know," I murmur, squeezing her hand.

The nurse brings over a bundle wrapped in a striped blanket, and I'm afraid to look. If she looks anything like Bella, I know I'll fall in love instantly.

Hell, I'm going to fall in love instantly no matter what.

Resistance is futile because now I'm staring at her little round face as the nurse holds her next to Bella's face, and I feel it. It fills up my chest and threatens to overflow. It brims in my eyes, and the tears spill over and down my cheeks.

Bella's tears have never really stopped, but she's really losing it now as she and baby girl are pressed cheek to cheek.

The nurse looks to me. "Would you like to hold her, Dad?"

It makes things harder, everyone around here calling me Dad.

I clear my throat and swipe at the tears on my face. "No. Not right now. Thank you."

She's not sure what to make of that, but she says okay and that she needs to take the baby to be fully assessed.

Bella nods and whispers a quick I love you to her as she's whisked away.

We get settled in to a different room after Bella is stitched up, and I offer to bring her whatever I can think of that she loves. Chocolate pudding, Kit Kats, cinnamon rolls, a fucking blackberry pie. Anything to bring her a little bit of happiness.

"Just… come here. Please." She motions for me to sit on her bed, and I don't hesitate.

I sit by her side and bring one leg up so I can face her, my body automatically leaning forward until my forehead is pressed to hers, our hands finding each other's in between us.

And we cry.

Together.

We know this is it. The countdown has begun.

At one point, I hear a soft knock, and the door opens, but whoever it is must realize we need some privacy and leaves quietly.

We shake and sniffle against each other, and I move my lips to her forehead and just press there. Then to her temple and then her hair, until I'm leaning in to her as much as I can in this position.

Listening to her sniffles die down a bit, I stay close, running my thumbs over her knuckles.

"Pizza," she finally says, her voice cracking. "I could really go for some pizza."

Chuckling, I kiss her forehead again. "Anything you want."

A nurse comes in and says we may want to hold off on the pizza, though. Bella has to be on a magnesium I.V. for at least twelve hours, maybe longer, depending on how things go. "Sorry, hon, but it usually makes moms pretty nauseated. We'll see how you tolerate it and then talk about getting you some food, okay?" Bella nods. "And your baby is doing great. She just needs a little help breathing right now, but we'll bring her in in a little while."

Bella sniffles and thanks her, and I try to reel in my anger at not being able to do something to cheer her up a little. "Can she at least have something to drink besides water? Some jello? Something?"

The nurse checks Bella's catheter bag and then tells me there's some stuff in the mini fridge down the hall that she can have.

"Make sure you go get yourself something, Edward," Bella says to me with a concerned look. "You haven't eaten all morning."

"Don't worry about me. Are you comfortable?"

She pulls a face and shifts around a bit. "As comfortable as I can be, I guess."

After another quick kiss to her forehead, I head out in search of the mini fridge. I run in to Diane in the hallway, and she says the baby is doing well and that Carlisle and Esme will be here tonight.

Arms full, I return to the room and lay out everything I've brought back. A veritable rainbow of jello cups is lined up on Bella's tray, along with every different kind of juice they had. "I know it's not pizza, but…" I scratch the back of my neck.

"Thank you, Edward." She gives me a tired smile and picks the cherry jello and apple juice, and I move everything else off to the side.

She's just finishing her cup when a little clear crib is wheeled in, and I watch her peer over the edge at the bundle inside. Tears gather in her eyes, but she doesn't let them fall. "How's she doing?"

The nurse picks up baby girl and walks toward Bella. "She's doing just fine. She's a tiny little thing, but her lungs are doing great now. She just needed a little help at first. She got the hang of it." She smiles down at the bundle. "Didn't you, baby girl? Here you go," she says, placing her in Bella's arms.

Bella's eyes shoot up to mine, and I see the first tear spill over, quickly followed by the second. It makes my eyes sting again, and I look around for another box of tissues since we used up the last one already. I haven't cried this much since my father died.

The nurse helps Bella start breastfeeding before leaving us alone with this brand new little human.

"How does that feel?" I ask her.

"Really weird." She giggles lightly and looks down at baby girl, and my heart feels ready to burst.

"You look like a natural."

She turns the full force of her smile on me, and I can't help but smile back, glad she knows what I'm doing. Our decision is made, but I want her to know she's a good mother, regardless of whether or not she raises this baby.

After baby girl is finished nursing and fast asleep, I sit next to Bella, and we both just stare at her cherubic face. Bella runs her fingertip over her features and down her tiny nose. "She's just… so…" She sighs and smiles.

"Fucking perfect."

*squishy hugs* Thank you for reading. xoxo