A/N: I do love writing Kyoya schemes, and I always get giddy when I read your reactions. I had originally intended to actually make this a little more drawn out, but I started to think that Tamaki would interfere because let's face it, he isn't sadistic like others can be. LOL. Hopefully the twins have learned their lesson though. I don't know… maybe every decade or so they will need a reminder. Enjoy the new chapter!
TiP: Tamaki – 27, Hikaru – 11 (I have to agree mtnikolle, but he causes a lot more trouble out of the two. LOL), Kaoru – 9 (I really have to think about closing this gap), Kyoya – 2 (even I'm not brave enough to increase this number… or I don't think I am). A HUGE THANK YOU TO MTNIKOLLE FOR ALWAYS KEEPING COUNT!
Chapter 13 – Aftermath
Stomping out of the bathroom after a much needed shower, Tamaki hurled himself on the couch next to a certain bespectacled friend who was furiously typing on his laptop. "I can't believe you did that to me mommy! I mean I can understand doing that to Hikaru and Kaoru, but why me mommy?" The blond whined to his oldest friend (dear reader, when you think about it, opposites really do attract).
Kyoya smiled but did not look up from his computer as he answered, "Someone had to help convince the twins the drink was safe. You were an intricate and important part of our plans. We couldn't have succeeded without you."
"Really?" Tamaki's tail started to wag at the thought that he was so important, almost forgetting what had happened on the roof (Yes dear reader, Kyoya knew how to handle his friend well).
"Would I lie to you Tamaki?"
Giggling from another chair, Hunny chimed in, "Yah, Tama-Chan, we really needed you to help make the plan work."
There was always something about Kyoya's smile and Hunny's amusement that gave Tamaki pause, but these were his friends so surely the evilness was never directed at him… right? "Of course you wouldn't!" He finally declared and hugged his bespectacled friend. Glancing at the computer screen, he asked, "Are you really working?"
"No. This is my memoirs."
"Memoirs?"
"Yes, so that future generations will know all about the…" Kyoya paused momentarily and then continued, "The twins and their schemes. It is a reminder of everything we have ever done together. I believe I will give a copy to all of our children when they are old enough." Of course it was also implied that whoever read it would also know about Tamaki and his daddy fetish (I mean complex), how Haruhi dressed as a boy and then came out of the closet so to speak, the punishments the twins received (are they masochists?), Hunny and Mori… basically anything and everything since the club's inception. It was already a long memoir (and dear reader there were rumors that publishers wanted to turn it into a best seller).
Tamaki jumped to his feet and held his hand high in the air with one finger pointing to the sky, "Yes, so that all will know what happens when you defy the Ouran Host Club and what will befall those who plot against the members!"
Sweat dropping, Kyoya shook his head. Sometimes he wondered if Tamaki still believed he was in high school, and other times he just wondered if the blond could be declared legally insane. Did he even realize what he was saying? Did he take time to process what came out of his mouth, or did he just give speeches to hear himself talk sometimes? Kyoya voted for the latter. Rolling his eyes, the Shadow King said, "You do realize that we are talking about the twins and their schemes currently, and when I say everything that includes everything you have done as well. Need I remind you about your actions in high school in order to win Haruhi? A series of duels come to mind."
The former princely type lowered his hand slowly and his face looked a little sheepish, "Those weren't to win Haruhi." (I distinctly remember that they were… don't you?)
Kyoya pushed up is glasses and asked, "They weren't?"
"No, of course not."
"Then what were they Tono?" The twins inquired from their spot in the doorway of one of the bedrooms where they had also been cleaning the bird poop out of their hair.
"Yah, Tama-Chan, what were they?" Hunny asked with a huge smile on his face (apparently dear reader, everyone else remembers differently as well).
"Well they were… they were…" Tamaki was trying to think of an excuse quickly.
Shaking his head, Kyoya told him, "If you keep thinking that hard, your brain will explode from overuse."
"Mommy don't be mean to me!" The blond whined. Falling back down onto the couch with his arms crossed, he pouted, "They were tests to make sure Mori was worthy of my daughter's love. Any father would do the same."
Four men in a hotel room face palmed and it was heard around the world.
At the Morinozuka estate, at that exact moment…
"Why do I get the feeling that Tamaki said something stupid again?" Haruhi asked her husband as they sat in the library and read together. The children were playing together outside and the parents could see everything from the window.
A feeling of foreboding had also entered Mori and he shrugged, "I felt it too." (Then again dear reader, this is Tamaki and he does/says things that could be considered stupid… a lot).
"Weren't you supposed to meet the others for lunch?"
Glancing at his watch, Mori nodded, "I was, but…"
"Go. I'm sure they want one last guy bonding time, as Tamaki would say, before the wedding next weekend."
He sighed. He would have much preferred sitting with his wife all day than leaving her to have lunch with his friends. Not that he didn't like his friends or want to see them, but he was going to see them tonight and he was still liable to kill the twins for what they did to his Haruhi… not to mention what Hunny had told them they had done to Mitsuo.
"If you kill them, just don't get too much blood on your clothes. It is a killer to get out," Haruhi chortled knowing exactly where her husband's thoughts had turned.
Mori chuckled, "Alright." Pulling his wife closer, he gave her a lingering kiss before they were interrupted by his ringing cell phone. Sighing again, he pulled it out and answered it already knowing who it was, "What is it Mitsukuni?"
"Where are you Takashi? Are you still coming?" Hunny inquired with laughter in his voice.
"Hai. I am just leaving," the taller man answered. Standing up, he leaned down and gave his wife one last kiss, "I was just saying goodbye to Haruhi and the children."
"Ok, we will see you soon then," Hunny exclaimed and then his voice got really quiet, "I have a lot of pictures to show you from this morning and last night. I don't think the twins will say anything mean to Haru-Chan or Mitsuo anymore."
"What did you do?"
Giggling, the shorter man answered, "I tell you all about it when you get here… or Kyo-Chan can let you borrow his memoirs."
Mori wasn't sure he wanted to know what his cousin was talking about at that point, but responded with, "Alright. I will be there soon." He hung up the line and was immediately accosted by his own children.
"Where are you going daddy?" Hitomi asked.
"Can we go?" Akio questioned before his father answered.
Smiling, Mori shook his head, "Not this time. I'm not sure what your uncles have planned. Maybe next time." He knelt down so that he was more on their level and told them, "Be good for your mom. I will be back in a couple hours."
Akio handed over his shinai, "Here you go. You may need this. I know you are not seeing Uncle Satoshi and it's the other ones, so it will be good to have." He leaned closer to his father and whispered (although dear reader, anyone standing around them could have heard him since it wasn't a quiet whisper), "I heard Uncle Kaoru and Uncle Hikaru made mommy upset yesterday. You can use it to beat them up. Oh and Uncle Tamaki too. I'm not sure what he did, but I'm sure he did something."
The father had to swallow his laughter (and no dear reader, it wasn't easy) as he accepted the shinai, "Ok. Take care of your mom and sister while I'm gone, and make sure you behave."
"Hai!" Akio agreed.
Hitomi wrapped her small arms around her father's neck and giggled when he got to his feet taking her with him, "Daddy, when you get back, can we have a tea party?"
Knowing he would only be back with enough time to change and then leave again, he told her, "Not today, but if you are good for your mom and then good at the dinner tonight, we can go out for ice cream tomorrow after school. Then we can have a tea party when we get home."
"Yay!" She squeezed her father's neck and gave him a sloppy kiss on lips, "Bye daddy. I love you."
"I love you too princess. Now go play with your brother and stay out of trouble," Mori set his daughter down and then walked to his car. It was just a short drive to the hotel, and as he looked at the bamboo sword sitting in his passenger seat, he wondered if he would be using it today (more than likely is what I would say).
Arriving at the luxury hotel, Mori made his way to the room Kyoya had reserved the night before. Due to connections (it was a Suoh hotel), the group of guys had not been kicked out and had been told they could leave whenever they wanted to. Once he found the right door, he knocked and was allowed in by his cousin, "Mitsukuni."
"Takashi, you're here!" Hunny giggled and noticed something in his best friend's hand, "Expecting trouble?"
Mori looked down at his hand and nodded, "Akio gave it to me in case I needed it."
"You might," the other man responded and allowed his cousin to enter.
Upon seeing the new guest, Hikaru and Kaoru started to back away from anyone and everything, stopping only when their backs hit the window, and even then they felt around for the door and moved out to the patio. They saw what was in Mori's hand and they also know he had not been present during the payback session, and that meant their former senpai could be out for blood.
The former wild host watched as the twins quickly put as much distance as possible between him and them and he looked to Kyoya for answers. It was more than apparent they knew they were in trouble, but they seemed almost skittish as well, with an almost haunted glint in their eyes.
"We have ensured that they know they were wrong and in what they said to Haruhi and you can rest assured that they will not make the same mistake again. Would you like to know what happened? We even have video and pictures we can show you as we eat lunch," Kyoya smirked ready to share his genius with others, "I will say that their punishment was cut short by Tamaki though, but he knows better than to interrupt me again."
"I do?" Tamaki asked confused.
"Do you want to sleep on the roof again?" Kyoya inquired.
"MOMMY YOU SAID THAT WAS PART OF THE PLAN!" The former president yelled.
Nodding, Kyoya's smile grew, "It was, and then we put you on the roof with them because you interrupted their punishment."
Tamaki was flabbergasted and kept opening his mouth, but the only word that would come out was, "Mommy." After he had done it seven times in a row, his best friend hit him on the back of the head. "What did you do that for mommy?" He pouted.
"I was tired of listening to a broken record," Kyoya stated and then turned back to Mori, "We have already ordered lunch and it should be here momentarily. Until then, we can tell you what we have been up to."
And that is exactly what happened. Kyoya and Hunny told Mori everything, showed him video of the twins in their cells, and then showed him the pictures of the twins and Tamaki being found on the roof. They only paused momentarily when room service delivered their meal, and even then the twins sat as far away from the older man as possible. Mori could not help but laugh at the evidence presented to him and had to stop eating several times. His irritation was decreasing, however, he would not say that it was gone completely, but it was definitely dwindling… until…
Someone had given the twins some wine to drink with lunch and then kept refilling their glasses (now dear reader, you may think it was Kyoya or Hunny, but in fact… it started off as Tamaki and then the twins would refill each other's' glasses). With the alcohol filtering through their system, they became suddenly brave and walked up to Mori once the meal was finished. Patting him on the back, Kaoru stated, "Don't worry Mori, we won't tease Haruhi anymore." Hikaru nodded his agreement, "That's right. We won't call her fat or tell her to go on a diet until after she has the baby… even if she does look round because she is pregnant." Together they proclaimed, "She may be big, but we love our toy!"
The gloves came off and Mori tripped Hikaru and then Kaoru forcing them to fall backwards to the floor and hit their heads. As they lie their stunned, the older man lay the shinai against their chests and placed a lot of pressure on it with his foot holding them in place. They were unable to squirm and kept yelling that they couldn't breathe. Mori still did not let up and glared at them, "My wife is carrying a baby and the baby needs to be able to grow. When your wives are pregnant, are you going to call them fat? I don't think so because if you did, I don't think your marriage would survive. Say one more negative thing about Haruhi and you will regret it."
"We promise! We're sorry Mori! We didn't mean anything by it!" Hikaru and Kaoru cried out together.
Releasing the pressure on the shinai, he kicked the bamboo into the air and caught it. Once the twins were on their feet, he hit them simultaneously with the shinai and growled, "This is your last chance."
"We got it!" They yelled and started to run away, but both of them tripped and landed on their faces, both getting carpet burn (dear reader they thought they had tripped over the cord of one of the lamps because they did not watch where they were going, but if someone had been watching, Hunny pulled the cord from its hiding spot and pulled it tight as the twins were running by… it was no accident). Most would figure this was the end to their torment, but as Kaoru was getting off of the ground, Hikaru accidentally slipped and smacked his own brother in the face sending him careening back to the floor. Kaoru scowled at his older brother and tried to slap him back but was too drunk and instead wound up falling backwards and hitting his head against the floor again. They eventually got up (it took them longer than necessary because they rejected help from the others) and resumed their post on the balcony.
Later that night at dinner, the children joined the adults and Akio took a shinai to both the twin's butts and told them, "If you are going to act like children, then you can be spanked." He was chastised, but neither of his parents really punished him.
When Hitomi saw what her brother did, she kicked both twins in the shins and stuck her tongue out at them, "You shouldn't be mean. Mommy and daddy say you are bad if you mean." She ran off and both of her parents pretended like they didn't see that particular display.
I would love to say that Tamaki came out of the dinner unscathed, but that just isn't the case. Both Morinozuka children and their cousin Mitsuo, created a front line when they first arrived to keep Tamaki away from Haruhi. The moment the blond tried to rush up to Haruhi, the children tripped him, sending him sprawling to the ground, and then sat on him. Hitomi even pulled his hair. Haruhi knelt down next to the kids and order them to stop, "This is his special night and he promises he will behave." Once Tamaki agreed, he was free to get up and give his daughter a gentle hug. The three children watched him like a hawk the whole night not trusting him to actually behave due to his frequent memory lapses when he was in the presence of Haruhi.
All in all the night went well as the Host Club and their families celebrated the impending nuptials of Tamaki and Yumi. The hosts were happy for their friend, knowing he had overcome many hurdles to be where he was today, and Yumi was the perfect girl for him. This was only the beginning for the soon to be married couple, and they couldn't wait for their wedding day… hopefully the twins would get over their fear of Mori, Kyoya, and Hunny by then since they were all in the wedding.