So this chapter has taken a while to write…but I have sadness to deliver.
After this chapter there will only be one more until the story will be complete. I had a concept & the perfect way to end and that time has come. I hope you enjoy this chapter and can see the difficulty in saying goodbye. Thank you for your reviews for those who have been leaving feedback.
Other then that enjoy…I hope.
The next morning before dawn Caleb strolled across the cold wooden floor from his room into the bathroom, slipping his boxers down over his thighs he kicked them against the tiled wall in front of him. His feet as cold as a bag of ice, his body covered in goose bumps Caleb turned on the hot water & waited as the water warmed his body.
Rubbing his eyes he looked up at the old light hanging from the ceiling, on a cold morning such as this he wished he ordered that heat lamp months ago. Of all the renovations he'd done on the top floor so far the lighting was the last to be fixed. Not because he couldn't afford to have it done, but because everything he wanted was going to take time to arrive from the hardware store and then once ordered it was going to be an even longer wait for the electrician to drive all the way out and install it.
Mornings like these he wished he were still in bed especially now that Hanna was lying naked in his bed. Last night he made love to over & over as if it were their last night together. The slowness in their rhythm, the way they held each other so tightly, & the passion they poured into their kisses made it one of the most memorable nights to date.
But then there was that other factor.
Hanna was returning home. Home to Rosewood. Back to her old life & most of all back to him. Caleb hated the thought of Hanna going home to him, he even went as far as asking her if she wanted him to return with her, to help with anything that she may need but Hanna insisted she needed to do this alone. She needed to expand and take back control in her life. She had already overcome so much by arriving at Caleb's home. She rebelled not only against her own family but his as well. Her arrival made him realise that he too had been holding onto several issues, issues that he thought he'd long put to rest.
But immediately they both remembered how much they used to love each other, how much they still did even if they hadn't admitted it in over five years. Even when they drifted apart in their heart of hearts they knew there was never going to be anyone else. No one could or would even come close to what they had, theirs was a once in a lifetime. They were meant to be together, no matter what.
As the water flowed over his locks Caleb braced himself against the tiled wall, the water flowed down his cheeks and trickled off his chin like a small waterfall. The steam in the shower was soothing and relaxed his entire body. So relaxed that he hadn't seen or heard Hanna outside the door & slipping into the bathroom tip toeing closer toward the glass door. She could see his silhouette, long lean & toned just the way she remembered him when she was sixteen & her mother almost busted him showering in their home.
She opened the door & startled him, he turned around surprised that the beautiful woman who was supposed to still be sleeping was entering the shower to be with him.
" Morning " She said cradling herself into his arms as the water began flowing down the crevice of her breasts.
" Morning indeed " said Caleb. He kissed her neck and trailed his way toward her mouth, she opened hers in return and welcomed him despite how bad either of their breaths may have been. His hands roamed her body never staying in the one place for too long, she was much too perfect to keep his hands on just one part of her body. Hanna moved in closer toward him feeling his growing arousal, she was surprised.
" I see that " She kissed him.
" I hope I didn't wake you? I tried sneaking out as quiet as I could " He said.
" No you didn't. The fact that I could roll over and not feel you, that is what woke me up ". She said cradling her body against his. " I don't want to go home...I just want to stay like this forever " She kissed his skin.
" Like this, forever? I may need a bigger hot water system " He joked. Hanna playfully slapped his arm. Caleb kissed her forehead holding his lips against her skin, the water tricking between his lips. When he opened his eyes & looked down at her eyes he knew she was thinking the exact same thing he was.
He dove in crushing his lips to hers, pulling her on her toes. With her body pressed against his he didn't want to let go. He ran his hands along her thigh squeezing her buttocks, grinding her body against his, over & over. He turned her around and pressed her back against the wall, Hanna wrapped her legs around his thighs and braced herself against the wall. Caleb followed her lead as she guided him toward her, pushing his hips forward he slid into her.
He watched her fall onto him and grip him tight, if there ever was a feeling neither of them could describe it was this. The moment he slid into her & they became one. Forgetting everything that ever happened the only thing that mattered in the moment was the two of them.
" Caleb... " She begged him.
He plunged into her even more, finding a steady rhythm as she tightened her legs and moved them from his thighs to his back. He eased his tongue between her lips sending her even further over the edge. Bunching his hair in her fists she needed him to go deeper, this inexplicable sensation was driving her insane but she had to have more. As long as he could make her feel like this, she didn't ever want it to stop.
No one had ever made her feel the way he did.
Her legs were starting to ache, making love like this made her use muscles she didn't even know she had. But she didn't care she needed this. And then it hit her. Caleb had found the perfect angle, with the right amount of friction he fastened his pace. Hanna matched him and worked to a new rhythm. She tightened her ankles across his lower back and scratched her nails into his back, thankfully the water softened his skin as to not leave any markings.
" Jesus Caleb I love you " She moaned not far from his ear. Caleb buried himself into her as far as he could go, with several more desperate thrusts Caleb spilled into her. His head fell against her chest, panting from the morning work out he hadn't anticipated. Hanna too was out of breath, when he looked up at her she kissed his lips showing him her appreciation.
Yes, Caleb Rivers had blown her mind once again.
An hour later Hanna was waiting next to her car as Caleb secured the house. She was beginning to feel anxious about returning home & facing Sean & her mother in regards to her whereabouts these past three or so days. Then there was that other thing, how on earth was she going to explain to Sean that she didn't love him anymore? Where was she going to pull the strength from to walk out his front door?
Hanna was thick skinned but Rosewood broke her spirit. People had secrets & people talked, the more they talk the worst a person would feel. She knew all too well the back lash that she & her mother would receive upon ceasing her relationship with the town saint. The Marin name would once more be dragged through the dirt, only this time Hanna knew Sean and especially his mother would make sure everyone knew who they were and what kind of people they were. Behind their perfect attire, their smiles and immaculate picket fences was a judgemental family.
Sean could not see the cracks in their relationship, even the foundation in which it was built on was shaky. Hanna was vulnerable & although he did not take advantage of her in the literal sense, his mother did convince him that Hanna could be groomed into the perfect wife. Mrs Ackard figured Hanna had nothing else to lose & as long as she had possessions, she would be happy.
But she was wrong. Hanna didn't need material things. They only compensated her temporarily. What she really needed was for her heart to be put back together. She loved only one boy and when he left Rosewood for good, a part of her went with him, a part she never really got back. Whilst she plastered smiles at charity events and played the perfect fiancée at barbeques they held at their home Hanna never felt like she belonged with the Ackards. She always felt when it came to receiving or giving affection, Sean kept her at an arms length just as he had when they were teenagers.
" So...you all ready to go? " Caleb asked throwing his bag on the passenger seat in his truck.
" Yes...and No " She answered. " Yes I'm all packed but no I don't want to go " She walked toward him wrapping her arms around his waist.
" Me either " He said squeezing her tight against his body. " I'm going to miss you " He admitted. Hanna pulled back at the sound of his voice and looked into his eyes. She could see that ounce of doubt. She didn't know what else she could say to convince him she was returning to him. This right here was the beginning of the end.
The end of her life in Rosewood and the beginning of her life with Caleb.
" Hey, I can see that...in your eyes. Your worried I wont be coming back aren't you? " She asked him.
" Would you think anything less of me if I said it was true? "He looked worried.
" Caleb, I've never thought anything less of you. Its natural to be worried, but I give you my word I am coming home to you. You're the only person I want to spend the rest of my life with " she did her best to convince him.
" I believe you, its just this...it reminds me so much of when I left for college. Ever since then I've always hated saying goodbye, to anyone " He hugged her kissing her forehead as she rested her head on his chest.
" Its not goodbye, its see you soon ". Hanna squeezed him even tighter. Neither of them wanted to let go. They wanted to stay like this for eternity.
He wanted to come home after a long day at work and find her waiting for him, whether it be in the kitchen attempting to cook or out in the yard covered in dirt he didn't care, as long as she was here all his troubles would fade away. He wanted to share his achievements and struggles but most of all he wanted to make love to her as often as he could to make up for all the times they should have been together but weren't. He wanted to fall asleep every night knowing that she was going to be there when he woke in the morning.
His life would be complete.
Caleb pulled back but kept her fingers at his fingertips. This was harder then he imagined it would be. He knew he had to go, if he didn't leave for work now he was going to be late but he found himself hanging onto her. Fighting time just so he could have a few more seconds with her. Hanna smiled and tilted her head.
" I have to..." Her eyes began to fill with tears. " I have to go...you need to go " She bit her lip attempting to make it stop shaking so much.
" I know..." He answered, biting the corner of his lip with uncertainty." But I can't...let you go " He whispered. Hanna took the first step back toward her car, letting her fingers fall from his. It was she who had to make the first move. He couldn't say goodbye. He couldn't just let her walk away again. Hanna kept stepping back toward her car until she hit the door. She wiggled her fingers and mouthed " bye " before she stepped into her car.
A defeated Caleb hung his head & walked back to his car. Following her as she drove down to his gate. This was it. This was the end of his weekend. A weekend that seemed liked the world had stopped spinning so they could become whole again. At the entrance Hanna stopped the car, unbuckling her belt and rushed out of her car toward his. Caleb stepped out just in time for her to wrap her hand around the back of his neck & crush her lips to his, she wanted to remember the way he felt, the way he smelt, his kiss everything.
She was trying to be the strong one here but all that went out the window when she realised once she left the gate that was it, she was back to being on her own.
" What was that? " Caleb asked.
" I just had to. I couldn't go without giving you one more kiss to remember me by " She said lightly brushing his lips with hers.
He kissed her once again wrapping his arms around her back pulling her off her feet off the ground. When he placed her back on her feet Hanna gave one last hug. He pulled her to the side and kissed her head.
" I love you so much Hanna " He said sincerely.
" I never stopped, I've always loved you " She looked into his dark chocolate eyes. " I'll see you soon okay? " She placed his hair behind his ear.
" I'll be waiting " He smiled. This time it was Caleb who was the first to pull back. Hanna knew this was final. Now was the time to begin her journey back to Rosewood, and then from Rosewood back to Texas, back to his loving arms and her new life.
An hour later Caleb turned off in the other direction as he made his way to work. Hanna wiped the tear from the corner her eye when she couldn't see him anymore. He was gone from her sights. She could no longer look back and see him in his truck, now he was just a memory, one that she would surely return to.
Hanna travelled half the day with what felt like the same stretch of freeway, the same white line zoomed past her window for hours on end. She snacked on nothing but a chocolate bar & a bottle of water. She didn't feel like eating much, the thought of going back to Rosewood made her ill, the pain she was about to cause Sean made her sick to her stomach. She'd always been on the receiving end but never had she been the instigator. Hanna almost fell asleep when she was forced to sit in traffic inside the hot car for forty five minutes after a vehicular accident. Hanna needed to rest but she was only an hour out of from her destination, so she pushed on further. Making it back just in time before they closed Hanna returned the rental car, hailing a cab she then proceeded to the airport.
Physically exhausted Hanna needed a decent sleep and sustenance, but she couldn't rest just yet. Her plane wasn't due to leave for another four hours. Four boring hours of nothing but her thoughts. Thoughts that only consisted of Caleb, his smile. His laugh. His body. His touch everything. Hanna was bored out of her mind. She did not have the patience to read any of the gossip magazines on the small stands instead she checked her bags in early & proceeded to wait in the lounge area.
Several times her body succumbed, dropping her head against her chest sleeping for a few minutes at a time. Hanna was definitely going to sleep the entire flight home, even it was only three or four hours at this point she would take anything she could get. When she arrived in Philadelphia it was well after midnight. Far too exhausted to deal with anyone Hanna checked into a cheap motel one town over, if she was going to destroy Sean's hopes & dream the next day she needed to be fresh & revived. She needed to the energy to be strong.
The next morning Hanna rose earlier then usual. She was nervous, sick to her core and yet everything about today had a purpose. Ending her relationship with Sean, leaving Rosewood starting over, re-joining Caleb this is how her life was meant to be. When she repacked her bags & was ready she called her mother. She wasn't surprised that she answered immediately.
" Hanna! Where the hell have you been? " She yelled at her.
" In Texas " She quickly answered. " But I'm in Philadelphia ".
" Why haven't you been answering your phone? Sean has been calling me non stop asking where you are! You had me worried sick! " She yelled at her even more.
Rather calmly Hanna simply told her mother " I know. And I'm sorry. But we need to talk, I've made a decision ".
" About what? " Ashley screeched into the ear piece.
" Could you please come & get me? " Hanna asked. She refused to tell her mother over the phone what her intentions were, she would rather tell it face to face. " I'll explain it on the way home ".
Ashley wrote down the address and rushed out the door. Pulling out from her driveway seconds later she had to know where Hanna had been and why she wasn't answering her phone. But most importantly she had to know what Hanna's decision was. The entire drive Ashley pondered the possibilities. Was she pregnant? Was she sick? Did she change her mind about getting married? Was she going to get herself a career? The endless scenarios did not put Ashley's mind at rest.
Arriving at Hanna's hotel forty five minutes later Ashley unbuckled her seat belt and got out of the car. She wrapped her arms around Hanna and held her tightly.
" Thank heavens you're safe. I was so worried about you. Don't ever do that again " She looked back at her cupping her hair around her face.
" I'm sorry. And I wont be doing that again " She promised her. Ashley didn't know what to think, Hanna was so calm and composed. She wasn't giving anything away, no body language to read, no glances, nothing. Hanna had baffled her mother.
" You ready? " She asked getting into the front seat of the car. Ashley too had slid into the drivers seat and looked at Hanna.
" You're scaring me " She looked at her blankly.
As Ashley began driving back to Rosewood Hanna fiddled with her thumbs, biting her lip and taking deep breaths there was no other way to say what she needed. Hanna figured the best way to tell her mother was to blurt out the honest truth, nothing else.
" Mom...The reason why you couldn't contact me over the weekend was because I was with Caleb " She looked back at her mother.
" CALEB! " She swerved in a moment of shock. " As in Rivers? " Ashley raised her voice.
" Yes. After you left I hired a car and I went to see him " Hanna admitted. Her heart was jumping out her chest, she was scared and knew her mother wouldn't have approved. Hanna knew immediately her mother was thinking about all the heart ache they both went through after their relationship ended.
" Oh Jesus Hanna. Why on earth would you go back there again? " Ashley kept trying to look back at Hanna but her focus needed to be elsewhere, on the narrow road they were travelling on.
" Because Mom, I'm not happy with Sean. I haven't been in a long time. I'm tired of pretending to be happy. I feel like I'm going crazy trying to be the perfect wife to be. I cant take it anymore " She pleaded for her mother to understand.
" I am not one to judge your decisions Hanna, I know you have been through a lot but does Sean know yet? ".
" That's where we need to go. I need to go home and end things with Sean properly. He deserves an explanation " Hanna said. Ashley could tell Hanna was trying to be sincere & honest but no one ever took heart break easily especially not the Ackards. Ashley could only imagine the reaction his mother would have when she finds out.
" And what then? What are you going to do then Hanna? " Ashley looked at her worried. She was concerned she hadn't thought this decision through entirely.
" I'm leaving Rosewood. I'm going back to Texas to be with Caleb. You know as well as I do that I never got over him. I've always loved him, I just never had the strength to tell him how much I needed him in my life and how sorry I was ". Hanna said. There it was the truth her mother had been waiting for ever since Hanna turned twenty.
" Are you sure you've thought this all the way through? Once you end things with Sean you can never go back. He will never forgive you for this " Ashley made sure Hanna knew the ramifications.
" I know Mom. I don't want to hurt him but I cant stay in Rosewood any longer. I know he will never forgive me but this is my decision. It is my happiness and I think its time I stand on my own two feet and find who I really am ".
Ashley smiled as she looked at the road ahead. There was her daughter. Taking a stand. She always knew Hanna was strong on the inside, she never doubted that one day that girl would find herself again and do what was right for her, not what was right for everyone else. This was her time to shine. Her time to take control of her life.
Forty five minutes later Ashley pulled to the curb, turning the car off she grabbed Hanna's hand and made her look at her.
" Hanna, what ever path you decide to go down today I will support you one hundred percent. The only thing I've ever wanted for you is to be happy. If Caleb makes you happy then I will back you all the way" She assured her. " I love you baby " She said tapping the back of her hand.
Hanna looked at her mother, crying tears of happiness she leant over and hugged her. She never expected this response. She expected her mother to yell at her and convince her stay in Rosewood because it was the right thing to do, and because Sean was so established and well off.
" Thank you Mom, that means a lot " She smiled briefly.
" You ready then? " Ashley asked, looking out her window she seen Sean opening the front door with a paper tucked under his arm, he leant against the door frame and smiled as Hanna stepped out of the car.
" As ready as I'll ever be ". Hanna said to her mother.
What they didn't know was Sean already knew she'd been with Caleb all weekend. Sean knew exactly what was going to happen today. He could no longer look at her the way he used to. She didn't deserve the things she had and most of all she didn't deserve his love.
What he didn't anticipate was how strong Hanna had become over the past four days. She was no longer the Hanna he grew to love…