Dredging up the past Ch. 14

By: The Confused One

A/N: And here, finally, is the next chapter of this story. LOL Things are just going to continue to get worse after this, too. I am not done with them, not by a long shot. This is one of the few stories that I have mapped out in my head right now.

Feeling like she couldn't breathe, Alex turned around and walked away. She had to get away. She couldn't stop the slight shake that had started in her hand, and she wasn't going to let anyone see it.

Angry and worried, Bobby watched Alex walk away. Turning to the officers, he gruffly ordered, "Find him!" Turning to Mike and Carolyn, he commanded, "Stay here. Deal with this."

With a nod, Carolyn assured him, "We have it covered. Deal with her."

Bobby simply nodded. Grateful that they were there, he caught up to Alex. "Eames." She didn't respond. Grabbing her shoulder, he insisted, "Alex, stop!"

Stopping, Alex rounded on him and pushed him off of her. In a low growl, she warned, "Don't! Don't touch me."

Wide-eyed, Bobby put his hands up in surrender. Taking a step back, he quietly assured her, "I'm sorry."

Taking a shaky breath, she closed her eyes. Relaxing some, she softened her voice. "No, I'm sorry. It's not…you. He killed two more people, and he's in this building somewhere…" She swallowed hard and quietly added, "I wasn't prepared for how that's making me feel."

With a nod, Bobby understood. Trying to keep her calm, he spoke soothingly and quietly. "I know. I know it's not easy, but it's going to be alright. You spent twenty-two years not knowing where he was. He's in the building. He'll be found."

Shaking her head, Alex snorted. Meeting his eyes, she vowed, "I'm telling you right now, Bobby, I'm not going to arrest him again. If he comes near me and isn't already in handcuffs, I swear I'll kill him. I don't care. I'll shoot him on the spot. He's not getting the chance to touch me or anyone else ever again."

Bobby nodded in understanding. Having him on the loose scared her. Her faltering hold on her emotions had Bobby worried. He needed to calm her down. "It's OK. You need to relax. They're going to find him. No one is going to let him hurt you."

Alex closed her eyes. Taking a deep breath, she nodded. She couldn't explain how on edge she suddenly was. She hated what this was doing to her. This wasn't her. She felt like she was spinning out of control, and Alex hated that feeling. She didn't do helpless, because it made her feel weak, and weak was an unacceptable feeling.

Bobby watched her relax a little. She seemed to be calming down. Relieved, he began to settle down himself. Tentatively reaching out, he cupped her cheek. He was encouraged when she didn't pull away. She simply closed her eyes and seemed to compose herself further. After a long moment, he whispered, "Trust me. Alright? I promise. I will not let anything happen to you. Not ever."

Alex nodded again. Letting Bobby pull her into a hug, she relaxed into his arms. Taking a calming breath, she focused on the slow circles Bobby was making on her back. He'd give her another moment, but he knew he had to get her to go back and hook up with a team. They were vulnerable out alone. Aiden had a gun.

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Turning his attention back to the officers around him, Mike sighed. Bobby would take care of Alex. Focusing on the task of hand, Mike joined Carolyn in the process of taking control and splitting everyone into teams to search the building. Without talking about it, both Mike and Carolyn ensured they were part of the group going down the direction that Alex and Bobby had gone. They wanted to make sure they were OK, and they weren't interrupted.

As the teams dispersed, Carolyn sighed. Looking at Mike, she offered, "Let's go."

Mike nodded. He was confident Aiden was still in the building somewhere. Leading their team down the hall, they split up more to check rooms and smaller hallways. It was just him and Carolyn, when he rounded a corner. Immediately relaxing, he gave a soft sigh. Bobby had Alex in a hug. Looking over at Carolyn, he quirked his eyebrows, slightly amused.

Carolyn shook her head. She hated to break the moment, but she knew Jackson, O'Malley, Smith, and Dugger would be joining them in just a moment. Approaching them, she spoke up, "Hey."

Pulling out of Bobby's arms, Alex turned around to face the still approaching Mike and Carolyn. Pasting a smile on her face, she greeted them, "Hey."

Concerned, Carolyn asked, "Are you alright?"

With a nod, Alex assured them both, "Yeah. I'm fine." Seeing the guns, she asked, "You two took this hallway?"

With a nod, Mike replied, "Yeah. The rest of our team is coming."

As Carolyn's radio crackled to life, she stepped aside to get reports back from the other team.

As if on cue, the four officers came around the corner. O'Malley stated, "Its all clear."

With a nod, Mike sighed. He replied, "Let's keep going then. He has to be in the building somewhere."

Rejoining the group, Carolyn replied, "Team one and team three are finished their corridors. No sign of him."

Bobby was the one to sigh now. This was ridiculous. He suggested, "Come on. We need to find him."

Alex didn't like any of this. It felt wrong. Something was wrong. Following the rest of the group down the hall, she prayed to God, they found him and soon. She was suddenly exhausted. She just wanted to go home, crawl into bed, and never get up again.

Fifteen minutes later the group was headed back to the meeting place, dejected. There was no sign of him, except for the gun. One last group needed to call in with their final verdict and the whole building would be cleared. A rock formed in the pit of Alex's stomach. She knew they were going to give the building the all-clear. About five minutes ago, she had started to believe he was gone. Now she knew. Deep inside of her, she knew. Aiden was out there somewhere, again, and she had no one to blame but herself. She had provoked him. She had gotten him removed from the courtroom. This was her fault. She couldn't shake that feeling.

Irritated, Mike led in silence. He had been so sure that Aiden was still in the building. Now all of his hope was pinned on one last group, team six. He was refusing to give up. That's when his radio crackled to life. "South corridor is clear."

Alex closed her eyes and let out a resigned sigh. She had been right. He was on the loose again.

Bobby instinctively clenched his hand into a fist. He was angry now. He wanted to punch the wall. One look at Alex though told him she needed him to hold it together.

Meeting Carolyn's disappointed eyes, Mike sighed in frustration. Almost throwing the radio, he spat, "Damn it!"

Shaking her head, Alex spoke up first. "Don't! Just...don't." She moved around Mike. Taking off down the hall, she wanted a little space. She wanted to process what just happened.

Bobby watched Alex walk ahead of them. He talked to Mike and Carolyn as he did. "Get our guys back to 1PP. We need every available cop in the city looking for him. He's dangerous. I'll, uh, take care of her."

Quickly following Alex's path, Bobby stopped when he reached an empty courtroom. Leaning against the doorframe, he watched as Alex stared at the witness stand from her seat up front.

After a moment, he licked his lips and ventured towards her. With a sigh, he quietly sat down beside her. Without even looking at him, she leaned over and wrapped her arms around him. She buried her face in his chest and let the tears go.

Closing his eyes, Bobby turned a little in his seat to be more comfortable. Wrapping his arms around her, he held her close. Taking a shaky breath, he gently rubbed her back. He knew there wasn't a thing he could say or do that would make this better or easier on her.

It took Alex a few minutes, but when she finally began to pull herself together, she murmured, "I'm sorry…" She wanted to be stronger than this. She hated how this could still affect her. It wasn't like he hadn't been on the loose before.

Shaking his head, Bobby pulled away enough to meet her eyes. He insisted, "No. Don't. You have nothing to apologize for." This was killing him. He could only imagine what it was doing to her. He tried to assure her, "We're going to find him again. He's going to pay for everything he's done…"

Pulling away completely, Alex laughed bitterly. Turning back to face the witness stand, she lamented, "Everything but what he did to me and Anne Garrison."

Bobby closed his eyes. He reached over and took her hand. Looking at her again, he swallowed hard. "Alex, look at me, please." When she turned to look at him, he met her eyes. Relieved, he continued, "No, he won't be punished directly for what he did to you two, but we built a strong case. He's not going to get off. When we find him, he's going to jail, and I know that means something to you." He gave her hand a gentle squeeze. "It's important to you."

Alex reached over and tentatively stroked his cheek. Meeting his eyes again, she whispered, "Thank you."

Bobby's mouth twitched into a smile. Removing his hand from hers, he reached up and took her hand from his face. He asked, "Why are you thanking me?" He shook his head. "Do you have any idea how amazing you are?"

Alex swallowed hard. Leaning forward, she kissed him softly. Tangling her hand into his hair, she pulled him closer and deepened the kiss. When air finally became an issue, she pulled away. Panting, she met his eyes. She leaned her forehead against his. She whispered, "You don't coddle me, and you always know what I need to hear. I am so in love with you."

Bobby smiled softly. He stroked her cheek. "I love you more than I thought I could love anyone."

Alex leaned her head over on his shoulder again. She sighed contentedly. Closing her eyes, she whispered, "God, only you could make me feel like this after what just happened. Like it's really going to be OK."

Bobby leaned over and kissed the top of her head. He quietly assured her, "It is going to be OK, Alex."

Alex closed her eyes. She replied, "I think I'll wait until this is all over before I get my hopes up and believe that."

Relaxing, he wrapped an arm around her. He sighed softly. He whispered, "What happened today wasn't your fault, you know? You didn't know what he was going to try."

Alex sighed. She tried to concentrate on the soothing circles he was making on her arm. Swallowing hard, she whispered, "Yeah…" She wasn't sure she believed that. Two bailiffs were dead, but she was going to try to believe it. She refused to give him any more power. She couldn't hold onto it. She couldn't own Aiden's crimes, not a single one. That was how he won.

Giving her a little more time, Bobby sighed. He never wanted to leave this moment. He wanted to hold her forever. Pulling away again, he took a deep breath. Searching her eyes, he asked, "Are you ready to deal with this? Are you ready to leave here and help look for him?"

Alex took a shaky breath. Nodding with more confidence than she felt, she answered, "Yeah. Yeah, I'm ready." She didn't feel she had a choice. She had to be.