Chapter 14 - Remembrance

Tris POV

Its last day of school today. It's has been a week since I had my fight with Marlene and Peter, and I still haven't talked to any of them. Peter has become really good friends with Zeke, Uriah, and Will, I am guessing it's because he is in basketball now - yeah, he got in - , plus after I introduced them to each other, they started hanging out. I would say Four too, but I don't know. Tobias doesn't want to tell me. I know they have been hanging out, but I don't know. I feel like Tobias knows something and he isn't telling me.

Since its last day of school, we only have half day, and I am betting we don't have any work to do today. I can't believe it's soon Christmas. Yeah, that's why this is our last day, it's our last day before our Christmas holiday. It started snowing last night, but the snow hasn't really stuck, so it's this wet snow.

Tobias, Nita, Lauren, Peter, Zeke, Shauna, and I are all math class.

"What do you think we will be doing today?" Zeke asks me and I look at him. I am sitting next to Tobias and Zeke.

"I have no idea, I am betting we don't have to do work though, but I am not sure." I tell him and he nods.

"What do you want to do after school?" He asks and I shake my head.

"Hey Peter." Tobias says and Peter looks at him. "What do you want to do after school?"

"I don't know, I guess it's up to you guys." He replies and I look at him.

"We should go sliding in the snow." Shauna says and I look at her.

"Where?" I ask.

"We always do it during winter. We know this hill, it's perfect. No one else goes there, so we will have it all too our self, plus the snow is awesome there." She says and I nod.

"Yeah, that sounds fun." I say and she nods.

"Lets asks the others in break." She says and I nod this time.

When Mr. Dixon comes in he smiles at us.

"Hello everyone, it's good to see everyone here." He says and we all say good morning to him. "So I am guessing everyone is wondering what we are going to do today, since it's the last day of school, we are going to have free-time."

Yes! Free-time! I take out my phone and text Lynn.

Tris: Hey, u have free-time?

I wait for reply. I really hope she doesn't have class, because then she is going to get in trouble, oh shit, I really hope she doesn't have class right now, she has science class with Ms. Matthews. She is going to be dead.

Lynn: U do realize Ms. Matthews is our teacher in this class?

Tris: Yh, sorry, realize that after I sent the message...

Lynn: It's okay, we have free-time...u were lucky... :) What's up?

Tris: Shauna wants to go sliding in the snow after school? Do you guys want that too?

Lynn: Yeah, sure, we always do that... :)

Tris: Awesome, hey dad wants you to join us for Christmas day/eve...

Lynn: Need to check with mom...

"They will join." I say.

"What?" Zeke asks.

"Lynn, Uriah, Will, and Al, they are joining to go sliding after school." I say and Shauna smiles.

"Awesome, what about Marlene?"

"You will have to ask her." I say and she shakes her head.

"When are you two going to become friends again, you do realize she has tried to apologize to you." Shauna says.

"Well, what she said is not something I am going to forget easy and just forgive her for saying." I tell her and she nods.

"What did she say?" Zeke asks.

"Ask her." I tell him.

"Hey... if she has said sorry, why can't you just forgive her, she didn't say anything really mean, except for the fact that she told you that you weren't a nice sister. If she says sorry you should forgive her. It's not like saying that you aren't a nice sister, is going to take you weeks to forgive." Tobias whispers in my ear, so no one else can hear it.

Now he thinks that's the only thing she said. Maybe I should have told him what else she told me. No I can't do that, but he is right, saying I am bad sister is not something that I should be angry about for weeks, it's the fact that she said it was my fault that Christina is dead, that is what is not so easy to forgive or forget for that matter.

"It's complicated." I tell him back.

"There is more isn't it. She said more to you." He says and I look down at my phone, ignoring him. "Tris, I asked you to tell me everything, why didn't you?"

"Because you would be upset with her for saying what she said, so would Lynn, and I don't want that." I tell him and he looks at me.

"What did she tell you?" He asks.

"Ask her." I tell him.

"Tris!"

"No, Four drop it." I say, knowing I can't say his name, because they are students here, plus he needs to drop it.

After math class we have break. I walk to my locker and put my things in my locker. I turn around and everyone is around me.

"What's going on?" I ask.

"We are waiting for you." Shauna says and I nod.

"Well let's go." I say.

"Tris can we please talk?" Marlene asks and I look at her.

"Go ahead you guys." I say and they walk away, except Lynn and Tobias. "You two too."

"No, we want to know what you told Tris!" Lynn says to Marlene and I look at her. "Tris please."

"No, you two go." I say and they shake their heads. "Fine, Marlene speak."

"Tris I am so sorry, I didn't mean to say any of it. It's just came out wrong and I really miss Christina and well it all came out wrong." She says and I look at her.

"I think everyone misses Christina, but if I am going to speak for me, I won't go around - you know what, I am not going to say anything in front of Lynn and Four, because I know they will hate you for saying what you said." I say and Marlene looks at me.

"I know, everyone is going to hate me for what I said to you, I even hate myself for saying what I said, but please just accept my apology." She says and I look at her.

"I want to Marlene, I really do, but I am not going to forget what you said, what you said, I don't know, but it hurts like hell, and it still does. I am not going to forgive that." I tell her and she nods.

"What did you tell her Mar?" Lynn asks and Marlene turns to Lynn and Tobias.

"I told that maybe if she wouldn't be here right now, Christina might still be alive." Marlene says and I look at Marlene.

"Why the hell did you do that for?" I ask her and she turns to look at me.

"Now you can speak freely." Marlene says and I nod.

"Fine, everyone is sad because Christina is dead, but that doesn't mean you can go and blame people for her death. She was my best friend Marlene."

"Yeah and you got to see her one more time, we didn't!"

"That is not my fault, Christina asked Will if she could see me, if she had asked for you, you would have been able to go and see her, but she didn't and that isn't my fault!"

"But maybe if you didn't go to this school, we might have been together that day and Christina wouldn't be dead."

"I thought you wanted my forgiveness, not tell me how Christina's death is my fault!" I tell her and she looks at me.

"Yeah I did, but not anymore." She says and walks away. Lynn and Tobias looks at me and then at each other. I turn around and look at my locker, not wanting people to look at me right now. I guess we got an audience without we noticing it. We did kind of shout at each other. I feel someone take my away from the lockers and take me somewhere else. I think it's Lynn, because it can't be Tobias, I would recognize his touch. Lynn opens a door and we walk in. I look up and see the supply closet. I turn around and see Lynn and Tobias. Then I turn back around, I still don't want to look at them. I am guessing they are both upset with me for not telling them what Marlene said to me.

I hear the door open and the door close and then lock. I feel two pairs of strong arms wrap around me and I lean into his embrace.

"Why didn't you tell me?" He asks against my shoulder.

"I don't know, I told you, you wouldn't be happy with what she told me." I tell him. I turn around and look at him. I notice Lynn isn't here anymore. I look at him and he still he has his arms around my waist.

"You are right, I am not happy with was she said to you, non of it." He says. "What she did say is not right, you can't listen to what she said, you can't believe any of it."

"But she is right, if I didn't go to this school, Christina might have still been alive." I say feeling tears come down my cheeks.

"It's not your fault. I promise you that. Christina and Will were already dating before you came, and she could have been at his house and it could have been raining and she could have been in that car crash, and she would have died anyways, it was not your fault at all." Tobias says.

"You don't know that." I tell him, not being able to stop the tears anymore.

"Well neither do you. You don't know if it's your fault, and it's not. Christina's death, wasn't anyone's fault." He tells me. I wrap my arms around his waist and cry into his chest while he holds me closer. We stay silent a while, and I know that my tears are beginning to slow down.

"You know when I was in her room, before she died, she asked me if I was okay, and what happened when I left the soccer match, and what happened the day she died. I told her about Natalie and Lynn and everything, then she told me that I should fix everything with Lynn, and that everyone understood that I wouldn't forgive Natalie right away. Then she told me that she loved me and that she was so happy she got to be with me and that I was her best friend." I tell him, breaking the silence. I feel my tears start coming again, doing the opposite than slowing down.

"She still loves you." Tobias says and I look at him. "You are still her best friend."

"I still love her."

"She knows that, and she loves you too." He says and I lean into his chest again.

"She told me I was her sister."

"Stop saying 'was', she still is your sister, she is always going to be your sister Tris, whether she is here or not."

"Then she told me that I needed to tell her mom and Rose that she loves them both so much, I needed to tell Will that she loves him and that he is allowed to get a new girlfriend, that he doesn't have to stick with her, that I needed to tell him that she would and always will be his, and that she wouldn't want any other man. I still think I haven't told Will this." I say and smile a little, but still feeling the tears coming down my cheeks. "I kept telling her it sounded like she was saying goodbye, and she kept telling me it isn't, she told me that she was only telling me this was because then I would know what to tell people, if something like this happened again. That I knew what to tell her mom and Rose, and Will. Now I know I was wrong."

"Then when it came to me, she said that she loves me like a sister, or not like a sister, because she said I was her sister. She said I was her person and that she loves me with every bit of her heart, and that is never going to change. She said that she loves me so so much and that I needed to promise her to take care of Will, Rose, and her mother, and everyone else. Then she said that she loves me so much it hurts." I tell him. "I asked her why she is saying this and she told me that she couldn't do it. That it was too painful, that everything hurts and that she was ready. I told her no, and she told me that I told her everything she needed to know, and that I am going to be fine, and that she could be able to go without being guilty for leaving me, because I am going to be fine. She said that she loves me and that I will be fine. How does she know that I am fine, because I am not! How I am ever going to be fine? She can't just do this!"

"Tris, she wanted to know how you were! What happened after game, with your mom and everything, when you came into her room, she needed to know if you were going to be okay with Lynn and Natalie and everything and you told her everything that happened, and she knew that you would be okay. You will be okay. She knows that you are going to miss her and that it's not going to easy on you, but she knows that you are strong and you will get through this." He says and I shake my head.

"You don't know, she doesn't know that, hell I don't even know that." I tell him and he nods.

"No Tris, Christina and I know that you are going to get through this. We know that it's not going to be easy, but you are going to get through this."

"I pulled away, when she told me that everything hurts. I looked at her and she told me to promise her to take care of Will, Rose, and her mother, and I said I would. Then she told me to give her hug and lie down with her. I did. I gave her a hug and I put my head on her chest. I could listen to her heartbeats and they were so slow. I asked how she was feeling and she said that it hurts. I told her that I love her and I knew that she was smiling. And that's when I didn't hear a heartbeat anymore. I didn't her heartbeat anymore, it just suddenly stopped!" I tell him, not being able to stop crying.

Tobias just holds me. Letting me cry into his chest and not letting me go.

A/N - I know sucky ending. This chapter turned out way different from what I planned it would, but I don't hate this chapter really, I felt like Tris needed to get all her feelings out and now she did. Let me know what pansycakes thought about this chapter. I know it was short, but I hope it was good. I am hoping to get another chapter in tomorrow, but can't promise anything, since my school opens up and I am guessing I am going to have homework, but let's hope! Anyway, have a good rest of the Sunday pansycakes and please review :) Oh and if any pansycakes has any ideas, they want me to include, please tell me and I will try to make it happen :)

BooksLover2000 - I thought I would reveal it in this chapter, but nope, my mind changed, and I am not going to tell you anything :) Sorry!

Bootyclapasauras - I am hoping you found out why Marlene said what she said to Tris in this chapter :) I am not going to say anything about Peter and Tris, because that would ruin everything later. Anyway, I am glad that you liked Lynn's POV, I am guessing I will have more come in the future :)
And I will see what I am going to do with Once Upon A Time, maybe I will start watching it again, but I am going to finish the series I already started first :) Thanks for always reviewing :D

TrisTobyUri - I know Tris needs a best friend right now, and she will, but let's wait and see what happens. The sisters will come closer, but best friends, I am not really sure yet... As for Peter, I am not going to say anything :)

Alissalove - I am hoping you wrote the one before you, since it pretty much says the same thing... :) And for Peter and Tris, I am not going to say anything, you will have to wait and see...

Sarcasm-is-life - Cool, alto saxophone that sounds really cool. We have a band at our school too and I play the flute :) Thank you for saying that, it means a lot that you think my writing is good for only being 15, it really means a lot :) Yeah, I think you are right, and I think I told that I would someone else POV sometime too, so I keep my promises, there will come more in the future and I am glad to know that you enjoyed it :) If you have any other ideas, please tell me :) Hope you enjoyed this chapter as much : )

Sam - Well I am glad to know you like it :) I am sure you know what 'it' means, and I think I am going to reveal some in the next chapter, but I am not sure yet. Hope you enjoyed this chapter, please tell me what you thought of it :)

Divergentseriesfan13 - I am glad that you told me this, because I wasn't really sure, if I should have ended the chapter like that, but now I know it wasn't that bad :) Here it is and I am glad you liked last chapter :)

f4ngirl46 - Thank you! Well in this story, Peter is not going to be a bad person... kind of tired of all the bad Peter's right now... I am looking forward to knowing what you think about Peter though :) Yeah, I am not really a fan of DC Comics or Marvel shows, so I am guessing it makes sense.
Here is the next update and I hope you enjoyed. Unfortunately, my summer ended on last Thursday, but you should have a great rest of the summer ;) You don't need to shut up for me, I love reading reviews anyway :) Anyway, have a nice Sunday :)

FictionLlama - Well I am glad to know that :P