Chapter 14:

Oliver had found Connor in the back of the Starbucks on his iPhone. He rolled his eyes, typical white girl Connor McKinley. Oliver waved to Connor that he was here, but would be over after he got something. It was friggin cold out and he had to walk back home.

Within a few minutes, Oliver was sitting next to Connor in a leather chair waiting for him to start his story. It took a few minutes of silence before Connor could even find a starting spot. There was just so much that happened in a few hours to put into words for his friend.

"I'm about to be completely and totally honest with you. Please don't hate me when I'm done talking about this with you, please," Connor pleaded.

"Con, I'm not going to judge you or anything. I'm here, as your friend, just vent it out," Oliver readjusted in the chair so he could hear him better.

"I tried talking to Chris, but he's sick and also being an ass. What I told him, he pretty much called me a lair."

"You know me," he gave him a reassuring smile; "I'm open minded. Just let it all out, kay?"

Connor nodded with a sigh before diving into his story. From Elle and Kevin being a thing to the kiss to the Steve ordeal. Everything. Connor was pouring his heart out to Oliver. Oliver was simply following along, not saying anything and just letting Connor vent what was on his mind. Every once in a while he'd nod to show him that he was listening.

When he was done, Oliver remained silent. He took a sip of his drink before talking, "I believe you," he nodded then added, "About the whole Kevin kissing you back thing."

"You do?" he asked.

Oliver nodded, "Yeah. I mean, I don't doubt it. I know you, Connor, you wouldn't lie about something that that."

Connor sighed, "Chris didn't believe me. My own best friend!"

"Well, you said he was sick," Oliver reminded.

"But still, Oliver. He's my best friend, why would he think I was lying about the whole kiss thing?"

"I don't know, Connor. I'm just glad that you got everything off your chest. Are you alright? With the whole… break up thing?"

"I guess? I mean, it feels like weight has been lifted from my shoulders, but then again…"

"Then again what?" he asked before taking a sip of his drink.

"Why do I feel… jealous about the whole Kevin and Elle thing?"

"I honestly don't know. I mean, do you want my opinion?"

"Yes!" he exclaimed, "Anything! Please!"

"Maybe because you just kinda broke it off with Steve, Elle kinda reminds you of him-"

"Oliver, that's not jealousy. I have nothing against Elle…"

"You mean Kevin?"

Connor shrugged without a word. He let out a groan and sunk into the chair, "I don't know anymore, Oliver… It was all fine since I kissed Kevin. I think I ruined our friendship! I hope I didn't…"

"I'm sure you didn't. It's alright, Connor," Oliver sat at the edge of his seat and patted Connor's knee, "Talk it out with him."

"I'm afraid to talk to him though, Oliver. I don't know what to do. I still have math with him. I fucked up. I ruined our whole friendship…"

"Connor McKinley, you don't know that for sure."

Connor was silent for a few moments before looking at Oliver, "Could you ask him for me?"

"Me?"

"Yes you, please? I'm afraid to do it."

"I don't know, Con…" he trailed off.

"Please? For me?" he gave Oliver his signature puppy dog face.

With a groan, Oliver nodded, "Alright, fine…"

Connor squealed happily and smiled to Oliver, "You're the best! Thank you so much!"

He nodded, "Anything for a friend," Oliver stood with his drink, "Now, if you excuse me, I have to read a whole book for English tomorrow. Had all break to do it and well, oops," he laughed lightly, "I'll talk to you later."

Connor smiled, "Later."

The smile on Connor's face faded when Oliver left. He took another sip of his drink and got lost in his thoughts. For the second time in his life, he was utterly confused with his life.

Kevin lay alone in his dorm room. Arnold had gone off to have dinner with Naba, leaving Kevin alone. He was lying on his stomach staring down at his phone. He wanted to text someone to talk about what had happened. He needed to tell someone before he burst and told the wrong person at the wrong time.

Elle? No, that was the last person he wanted to tell about kissing a guy. He didn't want to screw up a possible relationship with a pretty girl he really liked.

Chris? Hell no. He would go and blab to his best friend, as best friends usually do. That meant that James was out of the question as well. James would tell Chris who would tell Connor. Too risky.

With a sigh, Kevin unlocked his phone and texted the only person who came to mind that he could vent to.

You busy? I need to talk to someone; he texted.

Kevin groaned and laid his head down next to the phone and waited. Slowly, his eyes closed and just enjoyed the silence around him. He tried to remember back on the last time he enjoyed complete silence. There was no way in hell that his home back in Provo was ever this quiet. Not with four younger siblings in the house along with sometimes arguing parents. Lucky enough to get some alone time let alone perfect silence.

His perfect tranquility was ruined when his phone vibrated, illuminating the room from the phone screen. The ID read Schrader across the text feed with the message; course. Just finished up practice. Meet me outside norm. pizza place in 10

A small smile spread across his face and responded; youre the best. See ya then

Kevin pushed himself off the bed and onto his knees. After cracking his back, he stood and grabbed his jacket and backpack then headed out of the dorm room. The harsh wind greeted Kevin when he opened the door of the dormitory. He shivered a little and continued out to the early setting sun towards the normal pizza place. It didn't take long to reach the place and wait for Eric.

Eric was half running down the side walk with his guitar case in hand. He nodded to Kevin once he reached the shop, "Open the door please, I can't feel my hands."

Kevin laughed lightly and opened the door for Eric and rushed in. Once Eric was in, Kevin followed suit.

"Maybe you should wear more than a pleather jacket," Kevin joked, watching Eric try to warm his hands with his leather fingerless gloves on.

"Piss off, I didn't expect it to get this cold this fast," he kept trying to warm his hands up. "Besides, it's a leather jacket."

"Details, details," he waved him off.

The two took their usual studying booth towards the back. Eric sat his guitar case up against the wall and pealed his jacket off, but kept the gloves on, seeing how they were frozen to his hands. Kevin stripped off his jacket and hoodie and set them on top of his backpack.

They ordered their food and waited for the waitress to bring their drinks back. The two broke out the books they read over break for their new English class on Tuesday and began to re-read them. Once their waitress brought them their drinks, and they checked her out a little as she walked away, they went back to reading.

After a little while of silence, Kevin looked up at Eric. "Eric, we're friends, right?" Kevin asked.

He gave Kevin a weird look when he looked up from his book, "Of course we are. Why would you ask if we weren't?"

"Can I talk to you about some things then? Please? I don't really know who else to go to. I can't talk to Arnold I know that for a fact."

"What about Connor? You two are pretty close."

Kevin felt all colour drain from his face. Eric put two and two together and nodded. "Oh, so it's about Connor."

He nodded without a word.

"That's why you can't go to James or Chris?"

He nodded again.

Eric sat for a moment and pondered over the thought. After a small nod he said, "Alright. Talk away."

Where to start. He paused for a few moments to ponder over what he wanted to tell him and how he should tell him. After a deep breath, Kevin started his story:

"Well, before the break I was working one Saturday night I was in my dorm room finishing up a paper for one of my English classes. No big deal, just a normal Saturday night. Connor called me at around six-ish asking me if I wanted to go to the Christmas party over at the Sigma house and I told him no. No big deal right?"

"Right," Eric nodded. He put his book down, interested in his story.

"So, it's getting later and I'm still working on homework and stuff. Elle calls me and asks if I'm doing anything and I told her no. She comes over and we're talking and exchanged Christmas gifts. We kissed and we're like a thing now. She leaves to go meet up with her friends, probably talk about the kiss or whatever. I go back to my paper, and next thing I knew, Connor's at my dorm room crying."

"What? Why?" he questioned, getting a little upset almost sensing that Steve could've done that to him.

"All he told me was that he saw Steve shoving his tongue down some girls' throat and he told them they were over and then he stormed out of the party and came over to my dorm to vent."

"I'm gonna kill Blade for doing that to him…" Eric muttered mostly to himself, but Kevin nodded in agreement to him.

"I second that," he went back to the story, "One minute I was comforting him, the next minute he's kissing me!"

"No way!" now he was even more interested. Eric leaned in a little with his full undivided attention, "What did you do?"

"I don't know why, but I kissed back!" he was a bit loud but still managed to keep his voice down to a dull roar.

"I don't believe you," he rested back a little, "You're a good little Mormon boy."

Kevin gave him a glare, "Shut up," he sighed and ran his fingers though his hair, "But it's true though! He's kissin me and I ended up kissing him back."

"Ok, ok, ok," Eric rested his elbows on the table, "So you two are smackin face, then what happened?"

"He pulls away suddenly, apologizes and rushes off. I haven't seen him since that night. We didn't talk all break. Some of the other guys I talked to, but him. I don't know if he was drunk or what but all I know is that he kissed me and I kissed him back and I dunno what to think about it."

"Did you… like it?" Eric did his best to carefully word the question.

Kevin didn't know. He shrugged, "I don't know. I mean, I didn't push him away if that tells you anything."

"Well, not really. I mean, you told me you were working all day so it could've been from exhaustion and Connor could have been drunk. He has a tendency to do that, ya know."

Kevin put his head down on the table, "I don't know what to think," his voice was muffled against the table, "I go from kissing Elle to Connor within the same hour."

Eric gave him a courtesy pat on the shoulder, "Ok, well…" he paused, trying to think of what to actually tell him, "Have you ever been with a guy before?"

"No."

"Have you ever been with a girl before?"

"Yes."

"Are you a virgin?"

Kevin picked his head up and gave Eric a weird look, "I am a twenty year old guy in college, what do you think?"

"So, I'm guessing…no? Ya know the whole Mormon thing… Noah's a virgin and he's a Mor-"

He sighed, "I'm not a virgin." He didn't want Eric hurting himself trying to do the whole explanation and adding everything up himself.

"Oooooh," he nodded. Curious he asked, "Was your first time good?"

"No, she was awful. It went from bitching and moaning to her actually enjoying herself. By the time she got to that point, I was already bored and kindly asked her to leave," Kevin shook his head, "Not the point. Can we get back to what I asked you, please?"

"Right, right, right. Sorry. Well, do you know how you feel about Connor?"

"I don't know," he shrugged, "I mean, I like him as a friend but now after that whole deal on Saturday, I don't know anymore. Besides, I'm with Elle, remember?"
"Wait, are you telling me you don't like him or you like him more than ya did?"

The colour that left Kevin's face returned and surfaced quickly, causing his face to turn bright pink. Eric smiled and laughed a little.

"Price's gotta crush!"

"Shut up, would ya?" he put his head back on the table, "I'm with Elle," he reminded him again.

"Sorry, sorry!" he chuckled a little. He calmed down as best he could, "Right. So, what are you gonna do about it?"

"Is nothing an option?" he mumbled.

"Uh, no. Nothing is not an option. Ya gotta tell him."

"I haven't spoken to him since then though," he lifted his head from the table and put his head in his arms, "And I'm with Elle. I don't want to hurt her. I like her too ya know?"

"So what? You don't have to ruin anything with Elle, just tell Connor how you feel and try to put it under the bridge. Don't worry about it and just talk to him."

"What the hell do I tell him? 'Hey, when you kissed me on Saturday night I really enjoyed it for some reason, but I'm sorry I'm with a girl'," he gave Schrader a look and a shrug, "I can't tell him that. That'd be stupid and also kinda mean if ya look at it a certain way."

"What's wrong with 'kinda mean'? I'm that way all the time," he smirked a little.

"I'm not like you. I'm too nice of a person. You're a jerk."

He nodded in agreement, "That's very true… I am a jerk."

"Exactly. So, what should I do? A better question, is there even a thing were a guy can be attracted to girls and guys by chance? Cause if there is, that's totally me."

Eric nodded and took a sip of his drink, "Yeah, its called bisexuality. Look it up."

"May I ask you how you know all of these sexualities? Like pansexual, metrosexual and so on. I only knew gay and straight before I came here."

He shrugged, "I dunno. I guess I was just trying to find what really described me because I knew I wasn't straight or gay so I looked it up. I found all kinds of sexualities till I found the one that really truly described me. Turns out wanting to have sex with anything with a hole is what described me best and I accepted it as my own. It's who I am I guess," he shrugged, "Hell, no one treats me different because of it so I'm not really complaining."

Kevin nodded, "Understandable. So that's what pansexual is? Attracted to anyone despite gender and so on?"

"Pretty much. It's just that you don't care what gender a person is, just that you like them for them. It's literally what's on the inside that counts," he nodded, "I fell in love with Oliver though and plan to stay with him and him alone. I may be a jerk, but I'm not a cheater."

"Have you thought about it before? Seeing someone you're attracted too and actually wanting to have sex with them?"

Eric tensed up a little and nodded, "A few times, yeah… I never did though. But I thought about it more than once. Oliver doesn't need to know that though. That's not the point though."

"What should I do about Connor though?" Kevin asked.

"Tell him. Well, first I suggested reading into different sexualities to find one that really fits you. Then, when ya find one that says "This is me, Kevin Price, and if you don't like it then you can go fuck yourself"."

Kevin paused for a minute before giving him a look, "You stole that from the Jersey Boys movie trailer."

"Ok, maybe I did," he admitted, "but it's true. Ya just gotta find yourself, alright? But either way, find what really defines you then ya gotta tell him how you feel about that. You just gotta talk to him, ok? That's all."

"What should I tell Elle though?"

Eric paused, "Yeah, I keep forgetting about her… Well, if you find what you really are ya gotta tell her that. If you give in to being bi, you need to tell her that. You can't hide from Connor or Elle, so all you have to do is be honest with them."

Kevin nodded, "Alright. Alright…"

"Also, don't procrastinate. You have a class with Connor tomorrow morning. So I suggested getting a crack on it."

"Alright, alright. I will. I really appreciate the advice," Kevin smiled a little to him.

Eric smiled his usual crooked smile with a shrug, "What are friends for?"

"This is between us?"

"I mean, I'll probably tell Oliver," he shrugged again, "But he wouldn't tell anyone. The least he'll do is add onto advice. That a problem?"

He shook his head, "No. just as long as Connor doesn't find out right away."

"You can't hide it from him."

"I know."

"Good. I'm glad we had this talk."

The two went back to their books without another word. They stayed around for another thirty minutes or so to eat and discuss the book they had to read for class discussion on Tuesday.

Eric got a text and pulled his phone out of his pocket. It was slightly difficult, seeing as he still had his poor excuse for gloves on. He read the text and responded quickly.

"Sorry, Oliver texted," Eric apologized, "I gotta go. I forgot we were gonna do another video tonight."

"You forgot you were doing a video," Kevin joked.

"Shove off. Just remember what I told you," Eric slid into his jacket and dropped his share on the table, "Research, and then tell them the truth. Both of them. You should also tell me your findings," he smirked, "I'll see ya around, Price."

"Later," he nodded his goodbye to him.

With that, Eric grabbed his guitar case and backpack and headed out the door. Kevin sat there for a few minutes, mulling over his conversation with Eric. After a few moments of reflection, he put down his share of the bill and grabbed his stuff and left to find some self discovery.

That's what college is all about right? Finding yourself? Kevin thought as he slipped into his jacket and headed out the door.