Disclaimer: I don't own Big Time Rush.

Warning: Contains minor physical abuse. Logan/Carlos. (Italics = Flashback)

Fourteen – An Erratic Mistake

Logan gripped the sides of his chair as Doctor Morgan opened his mouth. "It is possible that he could suffer from am–"

"Doctor Morgan! Doctor Morgan! Patient Karen Smith is–"

"I'll get to it," said Carlos' doctor. He looked at Logan with a true, apologetic face. "We'll have to talk some other time."

He grabbed his sandwich, threw it in the trashcan, and began walking away. Logan grabbed his arm, which made the doctor turn his head back, giving him a determined stare, which made the fair-skinned boy let go. Logan watched as Doctor Morgan walked away with, what seemed, a male nurse. He growled. He needed to know that nothing would be wrong with Carlos when he woke up. Absolutely nothing.

"Hi, mister!"

Switching back to reality, Logan saw the little girl from before—Helena—sitting in the spot where Doctor Morgan had been previously eating, munching on a jelly donut. As she bit down, a bit of the jelly squirted out, splattering all over her nose, looking like fresh blood. Logan's face went paler, but he recovered.

"Hello…" he answered, giving the girl a skeptical expression.

"What're you doing here all alone, mister?" asked Helena with a mouthful of strawberry jelly.

"Grieving," answered Logan.

The girl looked about six or seven, so he was sure that by using words she didn't understand it would drive her to boredom, and she would walk away after a few minutes of struggling with his intellectual vocabulary.

"Why?" she continued.

Logan slumped in his chair, and sighed. "Because my…friend is—uh, in hibernation."

"You mean a coma?" the girl said, gulping her chewed donut.

Logan's eyes went a bit wide at this. "Y-yes." He had to learn to accept the truth somehow, even if it was coming from a completely odd, little girl.

"My daddy is in a coma, too. But I think he'll wake up really soon." She grinned, and took another bite out of her donut. "Is your boyfriend's name Carlos? Like my daddy?" questioned Helena.

Logan stared at her. "Um, he's my friend, and yes, that is his name."

The girl shook her head. "Nu-uh, mister. He's your boyfriend. You love him so much, and if you didn't, you wouldn't be here."

"That's because I'm hurt, too…" corrected Logan.

"But you wouldn't be staying with him if you didn't love him. You would've stayed in your room." She smiled.

Logan eyes went big once again, and he stuttered, "H-how did you know that?"

The girl took another bite out of her donut, and looked at him with devious, black eyes. "But he's not really your boyfriend. You wish he was, right?"

Trying to get over the shock, Logan answered, "Yes. I-I…"

He didn't know what to say. For God's sake, he was talking about his feelings—ones he had concealed for a really long time now—to a little girl that he had barely met for one minute or less, yesterday! He felt pathetic because of this. He couldn't squeak out to Carlos that he loved him, but he could to a little kid that probably didn't even recognize he was from Big Time Rush; after this thought he felt a bit conceited, yet it didn't bother him that much, strangely.

"Because you love him, right?" she said.

"Yes," he whispered.

Now he felt angry. What did this damn little girl know about love? He's the one who's hidden his feelings for years now. Each and every second spent with Carlos was utter agony for him. It had been ripping him to shreds inside that he's never had the courage to confess—unknowing to Carlos, he has been tearing Logan's heart in half each and every second for every word that he spoke, face expression that he made, and worst of all, his body language. Carlos also didn't know about Logan's breakdowns.

"Whoa, what happened to you?" both Kendall and James asked, looking at Carlos' blood-stained clothes.

"Oh… I fell," Carlos answered, picking at his lunch.

It was currently lunch time, and the boys were sitting at a table outside. It was the only time they had the chance to see each other during school, besides morning and the last period.

"Must've been bad," Kendall muttered, half asleep.

Logan slapped the back of his head. "Wake up! You're wasting your food!"

"Jeez…" Kendall rubbed his head. "You're just like the boy version of that girl—Kaitlin. She's always slapping people for having the wrong answer during math."

"K-Kaitlin? The one with the brown hair?" wondered Carlos.

"Yeah," responded Kendall, raising his eyebrow. "Why…?"

Carlos grinned. "She's cute."

James laughed. "Well don't even think of asking her out. You heard Kendall—she's the girl version of Logan. She'll probably bore you to death if you go out with her!"

"Hey!" Logan scowled. "I'm not boring."

"Really?" James said sarcastically. "What's the square root of sixty-nine point zero thirty-six?"

"Rounded, it's…eight point thirty-three!" Logan blurted out.

"Ha! See? Only a nerd would know the answer to that." James smirked. "And there's your proof, Carlos."

Logan scowled deeper. "For your information, Carlos happens to like everyone."

"Sure." James rolled his eyes. "Like Carlos would ever date you."

Seconds later, all the boys' eyes went wide as they processed the words that James had just spoken. All of them began to blush, except for Kendall, who was containing in a loud laugh, and instead snickered.

"This is awkward," he said, taking a sip of his chocolate milk.

Later during seventh period, the past lunch episode had quickly left their minds, except for Logan's. He wondered through the whole class period—if he were to ask Carlos out, would he say yes or no? He decided not to think about it.

"Are you going to lie to him?" asked the girl, popping the last of the donut in her mouth.

"Huh?" Logan gave her a confused expression.

"Don't lie to him," Helena said, stretching herself over the table to touch Logan's arm. "He wouldn't like that."

"Wh-what?" Now Logan's face was covered with abashment. "I would never lie to Carlos."

"Then how come you just told me right now?" Helena had a sad look on her face.

"I didn't say anything."

"Of you course you did, silly mister. He wouldn't know anything though, and that's why you'll lie to him."

"What are you talking about?" Logan stared at her, outraged.

"Helena, sweetie, time to go!"

"Oh, my mommy's here!" The girl giggled, waved to Logan and skipped away. "Bye!"

ooo

"And our clues are…a box, open, and…a melody!"

It was currently eleven in the morning, and Logan was in Carlos' room, watching television—specifically, Blue's Clues. It gave him a heartache to reminisce that day when Carlos had been so full of energy, watching his favourite show, sharing his (or should it be recognized as Kendall's?) pizza rolls with him. What's horrible was that they were giving the same episode of Blue's Clues from that day. Logan sighed, upset, and changed the channel. Appearing on the screen were four people in what looked to be a restaurant. There were two blonde girls, a raven boy, and a brunette boy. The two girls laughed and left, leaving the other two boys alone.

"Those two are crazy, huh? I don't know how you put up with them," said the brunette.

It was quiet for a few seconds before the raven, suddenly, leaned in, and gave the brunette a swift kiss on the lips.

"What was that?" asked the brunette, with a surprisingly cool tone.

"I don't know," answered the raven, shrugging, in time when the two girls returned.

Logan blushed at the scene. He wondered what it would be like if that were him and Carlos. He looked at Carlos, then at the television with the once-kissing boys. The two girls were now gone. Logan changed the channel again. This time, it showed a woman looking in the mirror with a shocked face. Suddenly, another face appeared in the mirror. The woman turned around to face four females, all with ghostly, pale faces, and they all were wet. The females began to move, their ghostly apparition terrifying, causing for the woman to faint. Logan turned off the television. He'd had enough of these stupid shows—shows that didn't even make any sense, and had an unrealistic theme to them.

No boy would be that calm when being kissed by another boy. Then again, he didn't watch the show from the beginning, so he didn't have the right to judge it by its cover. He felt jealous of them, mainly because he knew if he'd ever kiss Carlos like that, then the raven would react with violence. Not that Carlos was prone to violence—and it certainly did not happen during the episode of the super soakers—but that's what Logan thought; he would always choose the worst possible outcome, which was a thing about himself that bothered him greatly.

Ghost—or spirits—just didn't appear out of nowhere, and take over your brain. Then again, he didn't watch the show from the beginning, just like the other one. He compared this to the accidental—or purposeful—intrusion of his other voice. He felt irked and offended, as if being like that, or any type of psychic, or whackjob, was a weight far from being enjoyable. This reverted him back to the episode at the cafeteria. The little girl's words had been so affecting, yet mind-numbing.

Earlier, he couldn't answer the question she'd asked, and he couldn't right now. As rational as he thought he was at the moment, he couldn't find the pieces of the Question and Answer puzzle. He found some pieces, of which reminisced the utterance of the molesting word—liar or lies. It was part of the question, but he couldn't find the answer piece that matched with the hateful word.

"Don't lie to him. He wouldn't like that… He wouldn't know anything though, and that's why you'll lie to him."

"What the hell?" Logan blurted out.

He was far from furious. He felt as if he'd received an 'F' on a random math test, and then had received a punch from one of his best friends. He turned on the television, desperately trying to get the thoughts out of his head. The movie with the woman showed up, and he quickly transitioned to another channel once again, pressing random numbers. This time, he came across an infomercial.

"And it's made from real diamond and gold. Imagine, this would be the perfect engagement ring," said the host, twirling the ring in her fingers.

"Oh, I wish my husband would have given me that," said the other host, and they both started laughing. "And only for the value of two h–"

The phone rang.

It kept ringing, and seeing that it wasn't going to shut up any time soon, Logan turned off the television, for the second time, and looked at the telephone with ambivalent eyes. Who on earth could be calling? And why Carlos' room? Fear had started to build up in his mind as the phone continued to ring, its taunting sound humming in his ears, a trill melody for every three seconds. Reluctantly, he stood up, and picked up the phone.

"H-hello?" he answered with a falsetto voice, trying his best to disguise it if anything grave was to be happening on the other line.

"Hello? Who is this?" asked the person on the other line. Logan didn't answer, for his lips were trembling much too heavily. "Is this one of the nurses?"

"Y-yes."

"Please inform Doctor Morgan that the test results about Carlos Garcia are ready to be picked up."

Logan's mouth opened a little. "May I have a spare copy? Th-there was a small setback and, and w-we need proof."

"Of course. You can have the extra copy when Doctor Morgan picks it up first."

"N-no. Can you please tell me the results; I have no time to read," said Logan, slightly agitated.

"Um, sure." The person sounded surprised. "What would you like to know?"

"Any…wrongs?" His breathing hitched as he stretched the cord of the phone when he got on Carlos' bed carefully.

"Well, we identified the x-rays, and even with the surgery he still has some brain injury. It is unknown if he is going to recover to his full potential when the coma is over with. There is a possibility that because of brain damage, he could have amnesia. We don't know if this will be temporary or per–"

At that point, the phone dropped from Logan's hand onto the bed, which made the phone disconnect from the wall plug.

He looked at Carlos with sullen eyes, which gradually turned into ones of dismay as the words the woman on the other line had said began to make sense in his mind. His mentality begun to spin around in baffled, heated circles, and his wild instincts took over him. He raised his hand, unable to stop himself, and slapped the sleeping boy right on the cheek, gritting his teeth as he did this. Carlos' body didn't respond with a jerk, only his head was thrown to the side as the hand came into contact with his face.

"How the hell can you have amnesia! Earlier you were moving and twitching, a-and now you have the nerve to forget?" screamed Logan. He breathed angrily as his Alternate Voice spoke up. "I don't care anymore! I've been grinding through this problem long enough, and the least I deserve is–" He stopped himself, aware now of what he had just done and spoken. He buried his face into his hands, and breathed out a long, whimpering breath. "Oh, my God…"

That was the first time that he'd physically hurt Carlos—excluding the part when he'd left his nail marks on Carlos' stomach and drew blood during the almost-fully-heated session of Saturday night; so even though the raven was in a deep sleep, there was no telling he could have actually felt it. Right there and then, Logan finally understood. He was a mess. A mess that wouldn't dare disappear unless something drastic was done. But, it was impossible that something could be done to a situation that was already far from being reversible, so that absurd resolution was out of the question.

He figured the situation was only going to deteriorate until rock bottom was hit.

A/N: The show with the kiss scene is actually real; it's called El Cor De La Ciutat, which actually originated in Spain; it's awesome, lol. And the movie's real too—comes from Lifetime, but I don't remember the name of it. Anyways, enough of my rambling. Hope you enjoyed this chapter, even though it got somewhat violent towards the end…