A.N. I hope to continue this series throughout December and am trying to write ahead a few days to stay on top of it. Hopefully it will work out and we will have fun with it. I absolutely love reading reviews and hope you will share your impressions of the chapters with me. No flames, please. Also, I realize this is focused on Christmas rather than other holidays of the season, but that's simply how I chose to write it and if it offends you perhaps you'd be happier reading something else.
Disclaimer: I know this is legally necessary, but really… do any of us think I own these characters?
The Advent Season – December 13th
Marie listlessly showered and dressed, ready to go downstairs by 6:30 that morning. She looked over at her advent calendar, remembering with sorrow the pleasure she'd gotten from sharing the experience with Logan. Without really paying much attention to what she was doing, she quickly found the flap numbered '13' and jerked it open, dropping the candy in the trashcan as she left.
She ignored the curious looks of those she passed and decided breakfast held no appeal whatsoever. Marie made her way to the Danger Room without realizing that was her goal. She entered her personal code and locked the door behind her. Calling out a sequence without thought she readied herself. Dark, dirty alleys sprang up in a maze around her while dilapidated brick building walled her in. She slowly crept through the simulation until a familiar growl reached her ears.
She looked up to see Sabertooth dropping down from a rooftop to land just behind her. He immediately swiped her feet out from under her and Marie dropped to the ground only to kick up at him, her foot planting itself in his groin to buy her precious seconds of recovery time.
She leaped to her feet and yanked her gloves off, ready to grasp him should the opportunity present itself. He swung to her, a menacing grin on his otherwise expressionless face. Unexpectedly she was knocked to the side. Looking backwards she spied Toad squatting nearby, his stupid, maniacal laughter taunting her ineptitude. Marie fought on, but couldn't seem to get the upper hand. She wasn't focused and it showed. Her energy was lagging even though she'd been fighting less than an hour. When the session was abruptly ended by someone in the control booth, she was too tired to care.
The theory that this would keep her from dwelling on Logan, his apparently indestructible affection and lust for Jean, and the futility of her own love for him was now completely disproven. She hadn't been able to push him to the back of her mind even while fighting Sabertooth.
Not caring who was bearing witness to her collapse, she sank back against the sleek wall of the DR and slid down it until she rested on the floor. Her head back against its comforting cool surface, she finally allowed hot tears to stream over her face unhindered. Her heart was broken. Nothing else really mattered right now. This was nothing like when she and Bobby had broken off their tepid relationship. This felt like she was dead inside, like someone had reached in and ripped out some vital part of her and left a gaping wound that would never heal.
The door opened and she found she didn't care enough to turn her head and see who had entered. Then she heard his voice. "You couldn't have read it more wrong, you know."
Marie couldn't find any words to answer with and gasped as she heard the pained cry that wrung from her lips. He sat beside her so closely that their knees and arms brushed. "God, baby! I've never felt so betrayed," he admitted with a groan.
She stared at him, stunned. "I betrayed you?" she finally choked out.
He looked down at her and she saw tortured anguish like she hadn't known existed reflected in his face. "How could you really think I would do something like that?"
She banged her head against the wall and reflected on the thoughts that had haunted her all night. Marie knew she'd jumped to conclusions and accused him of some really terrible things. She also knew that other than his actions years ago and that one moment in the foyer yesterday, she had nothing on which to base those assumptions. "Logan, we all know how you felt about Jean when we first came here. Who can blame you? She's elegant, smart, beautiful, kind… what's not to love? When I came in and saw you holding her and… and touching her body that way… the way you spoke to her," she could barely get the words out now and was having trouble finishing her statements. How could she be honest with him without betraying her own wayward feelings? "It just seemed obvious at the time." She sighed deeply and looked up at him again.
How she loved every rugged plane of that face, the unruly hair that wound around her fingers when she touched it… Her eyes traveled over those shoulders that she'd leaned on so many times and the corded arms that had supported and even carried her when she couldn't make it on her own. Then she couldn't see him at all through the tears that had welled up again. She tilted eyes shiny with tears up towards the ceiling as she tried to regain some composure.
"Kid, look at me," he demanded. When she had done as he asked he stated concisely, "Jean was on top of the ladder tying some weeds to the light when she started to fall as I came across the foyer. I caught her to keep her or the baby from getting hurt. The pregnancy is messing with her powers a little bit I think and she wasn't able to stop the fall in time."
"Baby?"
"Yeah. Scooter works fast, I guess, 'cause she's already got one in the oven. She didn't even know yet and I hear women can get worked up about that kind of crap so I was keeping my big mouth shut. I touched her that way because I was worried about the little guy. It's not his fault his dad's a pansy."
"Oh." Her voice was tiny in the vast room. She really couldn't think of anything more to say. "I'm sorry I assumed the worst."
He wasn't looking at her now. "What really hurt was that you obviously don't trust me. You were to one person I thought really knew me. Finding out I was wrong about that…" he couldn't say any more. He wasn't the touchy feely, pass me the talking stick kind of guy that sat around talking about his 'feelings' like some kind of girl. He was kind of freaked out that he'd said so much already. This kind of crap was supposed to be her job.
"Logan I do trust you. I've placed my life in your hands more times than I can count. You know almost all of my secrets. I guess I just lost it yesterday." She couldn't keep herself distant any longer. Marie kneeled at his side and reached one hand out, letting it fall on his forearm. "I truly am so sorry, Logan. I don't know if you can forgive me, but I want to earn your faith again."
His hand cupped her face and he studied her closely. "I'll always believe in you, darlin'. There's nothing for you to earn."
"So, are we good again?"
"You tell me. For the record, though, I don't want Jean and I haven't been interested in her for a very long time. Even when I was interested, it wasn't the way you seem to think."
She looked confused and he knew she wanted an explanation. The two of them didn't really talk about this kind of stuff much… he'd avoided it on purpose. He didn't want her to see him as some kind of animal and he chose not to think of her being with anyone other than him that way. Now, though, it seemed inevitable. He rubbed the back of his neck uncomfortably before admitting in a low voice, "I wanted Jeannie. I cared deeply for her as a friend. I didn't love her the way you seem to think I did, though.
She was extremely skeptical and it showed
"I'm not saying I wouldn't have had sex with her… I did everything I could to make that happen. But I knew it probably wouldn't."
"How'd you know that?"
"Because I had already given my heart to someone else and so had she. She already knew that I couldn't give her that. I told her not long after we got here."
"You know… that's a beautiful way of saying it."
"Yeah, whatever. So, what do you think? Is this settled finally? You do understand now that I am not lusting after Jean Summers, right? That I haven't for a very long time."
"I guess so."
"Hell, Marie! What do I gotta do to get it in your head that I'm tellin' you the truth?" He was truly exasperated now.
"Logan, every guy here lusts after Jean," she commented with wry acceptance. "Why should you be any different?"
His eyes were suddenly bright with some inner fire she didn't understand. "Baby, the guys here may pay attention to the obvious flash of Mrs. Scott Summers, but I know who the majority of them lust after and it's not her."
"Huh?" she was genuinely confused.
He chucked under her chin with his knuckles after deciding there had been enough deep soul-baring for one day. "Just trust me. I'll tell you about it sometime, okay?"
"Soon?" she wanted to know. Her curiosity was killing her already.
With a chuckle he gave in to her, "Okay, soon." He got to his feet and pulled her up as well. As they walked out, bumping one another along the way, he decided, "The way I see it we only have a few more things to cover here."
"What things?" she wondered from under his arm, which he'd slung around her shoulders with the ease of familiarity.
"Well, firstly what happened to you not taking on the Danger Room until next week?"
"I just needed to vent a little, you know?"
"You know I understand better than anyone, but you still weren't supposed to do this yet and you could have set yourself back with all that overexertion. You could have at least done an easier sim, but no you had to deal with multiple brotherhood members."
"I wasn't really paying attention to which simulation I started. I just needed to beat on someone."
"Well, no more of that until the middle of next week now." She started to protest only to be cut off by him. "I'm not really askin' here, darlin'. I'm letting you know how it's going to be." She huffed, but said no more because it was so great to have their argument over with and be back to normal.
"Next I need to be sure you know that you are never to react that way again if we have some stupid misunderstanding. Here's what you need to remember; if it hurts you it's probably some mistake like it was this time and you need to talk to me about it before flying off on some damned tangent again. If it confuses you, I'll do my best to clear it up. If it makes you scared, I'll beat the hell out of it. I will do everything I can to take care of you. When I make a promise, I keep it. There's no expiration date. You got it?" He stared intently to make sure she was taking him seriously and absorbing every word.
Out of the blue she leaned up and brushed her lips swiftly across his cheek. "I've got it, sugar."
He jerked a nod and then wrapped up the serious stuff. "Last thing and then we'll go get some food in you." She shrugged as her stomach rumbled… again. "What did you mean 'most'?"
"What?" There went that cute little eyebrow scrunch of hers.
"You said I know most of your secrets. It kind of makes me wonder what secrets you've got that you aren't letting me in on." That killer teasing glint sparkled in his eyes making her heart literally flutter.
"Um, Ah… Ah don't know what you mean," she burst forth, then shot into the women's locker room. "Ah've gotta get cleaned up, so Ah'll jest meetcha upstayahs." At the last second she poked her head around the door to call out, "What weeds were ya' talkin' about?" He just shook his head with obvious amusement and continued down the hall. Why would Jean hang weeds for Christmas?
Giggles erupted in her head. It was a ball of mistletoe, Rogue! came Jean's voice. Rogue grinned for the first time since 'the incident' and hurried through her shower.
He admirably held his laughter until he was inside the elevator. Whatever she was keeping from him certainly had her in a lather! He couldn't think of the last time she'd gotten that worked up and 'twangy' that quickly. Then the thought of her in a lather coupled with the knowledge that she was in the shower that very minute had him feeling more than a little flustered himself. He turned his thoughts in directions he knew would calm his racing imagination.
They spent much of the rest of their day and night together, both needing the reassurance of one another's presence. Almost everyone else looked on with great relief. The idea of a major battle between the two of them had everyone feeling uncomfortable. John didn't really feel any better about things until the professor called him in and they had a little chat about certain facts. Understanding better, but dealing with both disappointment and remnants of a protective anger led him to distance himself for the next couple of days.