Hey there guys OH MY GOSH it's been forever, hasn't it? I'm so sorry about that; my school year's wrapping up, so I've got finals, not to mention a violin recital, at which I GET TO PLAY HIKARI ALL BY MY LONESOME; AND I'm playing the national anthem at my state's minor league baseball game… yeah, I've been busy. But I DID give you an extra long chapter, and some fluffy treats! :D
Disclaimer: Kingdom Hearts isn't mine, but I'm working on getting this copyrighted, so soon the story will be :P
In the next passing weeks Roxas began to heal, both physically and mentally. With Merlin's help (the old coot had healing cells); Roxas' hands were repairing wonderfully ahead of schedule. He was slowly beginning to regain fine motor functions such as feeding himself, bathing himself, and dressing himself.
By the time Christmastime swung around, he was down to wearing fingerless gloves day-by-day.
For the first week or so in the castle that never was, he followed Sora around, learning what he could about the castle and its functions. After that he made himself useful by becoming part of the Hollow Bastion Restoration Committee that Leon had set up. While he wasn't able to go to the site itself ("it's for your protection," Leon assured him), his ex-boss, who was still sort of his boss, promoted him to schedule managing.
It wasn't a very difficult job; every afternoon, he was given a list of tasks that needed to be done in the city every day, and he was responsible for creating and distributing itineraries for everyone who was part of it. He just had to have them all organized, typed, printed, and delivered to everyone involved by the next morning. He liked it that way, because he always knew what was going on, and because it was good practice for his fingers.
For the most part, his days were pretty simple. He got up at the same time as the committee members; a lovely six a.m. He didn't mind that too much, since naturally he was an early bird. Breakfast was eaten in the cafeteria with Leon, Tifa, and Cloud, the two former of which had formed a strange, unlikely friendship with Cloud. After seeing them off, he would head to the gymnasium (second floor) and fitness room to exercise, and try to get into shape for when his self-defense training would start.
Before then Roxas had never worked out before. He'd never had a reason to. He was naturally thin, and he ate as well as any nineteen year old. He did it now mainly out of boredom, and in determination to not let Naminé die in vain. These 'nobodies,' whoever they were, they would pay.
He couldn't do much weight-lifting or weapon training with his bum hands, but for at least an hour or two a day he would do crunches, run on the treadmill, use the elliptical, and if he was feeling okay, he'd attempt a few push-ups. He could feel himself getting stronger, and for the first time in a while, he had something to be proud of himself for.
Of course, his regular morning workouts didn't consume very much time, so he had to find other ways to occupy himself. Bath time came after that, which stretched for a rather long time, what with all the time singing consumed. After that he tended to find himself wandering about in the courtyard. It was the only remnant of the living world he had left.
Leon, or sometimes Cloud, would deliver the 'list' during the late afternoon, and Roxas would then go to the library to do his work for the day.
Everyone in the castle (with the exception of DiZ) at together, which combined only added up to fourteen people, not including Roxas. Dinner every night was, invariably, crazy. He could not remember one night where a tussle and or food fight had not ensued between Cid and one of the others, or Riku and Zexion, who had a very brother-like relationship, in Roxas' opinion.
It was okay though. It carried such an air of normalcy, sometimes Roxas would forget that he wasn't at home. That was a good thing, he supposed, that he could laugh again, and smile again, and not feel utterly miserable again.
But that didn't stop the nightmares.
Every few nights or so, not so frequently now as they were several weeks back, he would dream of running. Running, as fast as he could, away from the smell of burning bodies and smoke, from a crumbling city, and from a broken Naminé, always chasing him. Her lifeless corpse would be reanimated, and she would come for him at night. Sometimes, she would grow one wing, one black wing, which clashed sickeningly with the white. Then she would change. She got bigger, fuller, assuming a goddess-like form; with glowing eyes and flawless skin. He'd find himself frozen, unable to run.
Then he would wake up, in a cold sweat. In the dead of night; the loneliest time of day, there was nothing he could really do to stop the tears from flowing.
Axel had to be the lightest sleeper in the world, because every time this happened, no matter how quiet Roxas tried to be, he just knew.He would creep out of bed, without making a sound, and crawl into bed with Roxas, taking the blonde in his arms. And Roxas would let him. In fact he encouraged it; he would bury his head in Axel's warmth, and cry everything out, until he was ready to go back to sleep. Axel would stroke his bath soothingly, and hold him close. Sometimes they would kiss. Sometimes Axel would kiss Roxas, sometimes Roxas would kiss Axel. Eventually Roxas would calm down and get tired again, and they'd both go back to bed.
Their little midnight rendezvous went as secret and unspoken as their previously forbidden relationship had been. Not because it was uncomfortable or taboo, there was just a mutual understanding between them that there was no need to talk about it. During the day, in fact, they didn't talk much at all. Axel gave him his time, and his space, like he promised. They talked over dinner, and occasionally they hung out together in the rec room.
Sometimes, Roxas went into the sanctuary to pray. And Axel would find him there. Axel would sit beside him and hold him until he was done, and Roxas would let him.
What an enabler Roxas was turning out to be.
On this particular morning, Roxas was not in the gym. He was in the bathroom, splashing cold water on to his face, his heart practically jumping through his chest.
"Don't be a coward," he was whispering to himself.
He stopped wearing his gloves yesterday. His hands were pink, and scarred over, but his palms were now almost completely healed. It had been exactly one month since he'd come to the world that never was.
Today, he would find out whether the King's Men were right about him. Today, he would find out if he was really the incarnation of Ventus. Today, he would learn to use to cells he was rumored to have been born with.
Today, he would be taught to summon his Keyblade.
There came a sharp rapping on the door, a sound that Roxas had long since learned belonged to Axel.
"Rox? You ready?"
The blonde shook his head no, only to himself, but aloud he said, in a quivering voice, "Yeah. Be out in a minute."
He had both of his palms on the sink and was staring helplessly at the mirror, so it wasn't a big deal when the door swung open and Axel stepped inside.
"Nervous?" he asked, his gaze piercing, even through the mirror.
"Umm." Roxas replied oh-so-literately. He turned his head back down towards the sink and he cleared his throat, "Yeah, I am."
He didn't bother trying to use his special glare on Axel, mostly because Axel was completely immune to it by now, and because in truth, Roxas really wasn't all that angry anymore. It shocked him, really, how easily and quickly he'd come to forgive the redhead; because he was the kind of person that held grudges. It must be the damn pull…
He felt a strong pair of arms weave between his own arms, to wrap around his waist from behind. He wasn't expecting them, so he jumped slightly. But Axel took no notice; he rested his hands firmly on Roxas' hips. He found himself relaxing into the elder's grip.
"Don't," said Axel softly. "You'll do fine. And I'll be right there."
"Yeah, you and the rest of the castle," Roxas muttered sarcastically
He felt Axel chuckle lightly. Suddenly, he felt like he could spend all day standing there like that. He tentatively reached his hand up behind him to curl into the thick tendrils growing from the base of Axel's skull. He leaned back and craned his head around so that he was somewhat facing Axel. Axel, in response, turned Roxas' hips ever so slightly. The moved simultaneously.
Roxas shut his eyes and let himself kiss Axel. He let Axel kiss him back. He began to turn so that they could face each other entirely. Axel's touch lingered on his skin, like a burning trail was left from where his hands slid over. Roxas reached his other arm around Axel to pull them closer together, then changed the angle of his face so they could properly make out.
Before he was anywhere near finished, however, he heard somebody clearing their throat. A red-hot blush spread across Roxas' face as he broke the kiss to see who was so rudely interrupting them.
Kairi stood in the doorway, twirling a strand of hair nervously between her fingers. She had a slight blush on her cheeks as well.
"You two are adorable," she informed them. "Sora says that he's um, ready, whe-when you are."
She giggled anxiously.
"O-oh, right," Roxas stuttered, the nerves immediately returning to him when he remembered the task he was set to do today. "Okay. Yeah. Let's go."
There was a special room on the first floor designed specifically for psychic training. It was soundproof, lightproof (for cases such as Zexion) and element-proof. Roxas had only been inside once before, but he'd only caught a short glimpse as Sora was eager to show him the rest of the castle.
When Kairi led Axel and Roxas into the wide-spanning room, the south wall was already completely full of people, sitting against it. Merlin, Cid, Xaldin and DiZ were the only ones not present.
Seated on a little wooden stool in the center of the room was Sora. He was slouched over and grinning apologetically towards Roxas.
"Sorry," he said sheepishly, gesturing towards the chattering group, "I couldn't keep them out."
"I was expecting as much," Roxas replied with a halfhearted shrug. Axel and Kairi went to join the rest of the group, who were quieting themselves. Roxas, meanwhile, crossed to the center of the room to settle in a stool adjacent to Sora's. "So… how does it work?" he asked nervously.
"Well, the idea is, if you're Ventus, you should already know," said Sora. He pointed to the very middle of his own forehead, directly between the eyes. "See this spot right here? This is where your third eye is. Right where your brow bones kinda sink down a little bit. If ya push real hard on it you instantly get a massive headache. Anyway, everyone has one, but unless you have Jenova cells, you can't really tap into it. There isn't really an eye there, but for people who have the cells, it's the seat of all psychic energy. So uhh, shut your eyes, then concentrate on that. I can't really explain it—just sort of think about calling the Keyblade to you, and you should be able to figure it out. Take as much time as you need."
Sure, Sora said that, but with all eyes on him, Roxas couldn't help but feel rather pressured as he shut his eyes and attempted to do as he was told.
Okay. Forehead. Keyblade Keyblade Keyblade… I feel so stupid; how the fuck should I know how to call the damn thing? Alright, just focus. Hmm… if I were a key, and a sword, where would I be?
Suddenly, he felt a burning sensation underneath his forehead. It wasn't so much like a headache as it felt like his brain was jumpstarting. Like it was coming to life. That was probably a good thing.
Alright, I see a door, he thought, and may possibly have said out loud. It was like a hypnotic trance; he couldn't be too sure his thoughts weren't vocalized. And I'm standing on this huge pillar. It's like, stained glass or something. There are faces on it. Faces that look like the three.
I really want to get through the door, he thought frustratedly, trying to mentally force it open. It just seems like it's really important to open the door. But I can't. It's locked. Of course it's locked, that's what I need the damn key for…
He looked around the dreamlike area, trying to find a trace of the thing. But everything was black. Only the floor and the door were illuminated. There was nothing else.
I can walk around the door. I can walk behind the door, he continued, his hypnotic self-projection traversing to the other side. But I need to get through it. There's something else through it, I know there is. Come on—
His thoughts abruptly stopped, and right then it came to him. They came to him. He involuntarily reached both hands out, and the door burst open, the brightest light streaming in, blinding him. And his hands, both of them, closed down on metal.
Roxas opened his eyes, his real eyes, and there they were. He was still seated on the stool, and in each of his hands he held a Keyblade. They were cool. Like they were really, really cool, and they weighed next to nothing. Experimentally, he swung them around a little.
Then he became aware of the delighted sounds of applause and shock coming from his companions. He had done it. He'd actually done it. When that thought dawned upon him, he dropped the blades in surprise. Upon hitting the floor, they vanished. The entire room held its breath, waiting, as he reached out to try calling them again. This time they came with ease, appearing in his fists exactly when he told them to.
"Wow…" he breathed. "I did it."
It was true. Everything they'd told him to this point had been the absolute truth. Something had opened, deep inside of him, when that door did. In that moment, the Keyblades warmed underneath him, and he could feel Ventus.
Sora observed in awe. "Two…" he whispered.
Roxas had two Keyblades.
"How do they feel?" the brunette asked excitedly. The two keys did not resemble Sora's. They were longer, and the designs were unique and intricate; one of them was black, and a chainlike design ran through the center. The other one was a blend of soft, light colors, and the teeth came down to form a starry design. They felt like extensions of himself, like they were always meant to be there.
"They feel… right," said Roxas honestly. He looked around at his friends. Xion was positively beaming, and Cloud was almost smiling, which in Cloud language was the equivalent to tears of joy.
He let the blades leave his hands. "I feel like that was somewhat anticlimactic," he chuckled.
Sora clapped him on the back. "Are you kidding? That was awesome! You have two Keyblades! I'm so jealous right now. I can't wait to train you, to see what you're capable of."
Roxas laughed awkwardly. "Heh, thanks, I guess. Are we gonna do some other stuff today, or…?"
"If you want," said Sora, shrugging. "But this lot doesn't have to be there for that. They just wanted to see Keyblades. How about we go have lunch, and then Zexion can help you figure out whether you have any other psychic abilities?" he turned his head to make eye contact with Zexion, "Zex?"
"It would be my pleasure," the smaller responded politely.
"Okay!" said Sora happily, jumping up from his stool. "I guess we're done, then. Clear out, you lot!"
It was unreal, Axel thought, watching his little blonde pull not one legendary blade, but two, right out of thin air like there was nothing to it.
Was he allowed to call Roxas hislittle blonde at this point? He didn't know. He'd given Roxas plenty of space, as was asked of him. Well, sort of. He kind of cheated during dinner. And at night. And pretty much any other time he and Roxas happened to be in the same vicinity. But he was trying, that's what was important. Not to mention Roxas had never actually told him no.
Axel had a feeling that everything was okay between them, it was just down to Roxas to accept and acknowledge The Pull.
He was both jubilant and vexed to find out that they indeed, were subject to The Pull. He was a bit skeptical at first, but with everything that had happened, it did seem logical that there were other things, bigger things, at work here. Axel had changed so much since meeting the charming boy.
Whoa, whoa. Had Roxas just taken his hand?
He had to look down with his own eyes to make sure. Yes, yes he had. They were walking together towards the cafeteria, along with everyone else, but Axel had never tried to pull couple-y things like that. But there they were, Roxas' hand, clamped almost hesitantly around Axel's own. Nobody else had even noticed. It was strange, how such a small gesture could mean so much to Axel. Was Roxas finally ready?
He caught with Roxas, or rather, Roxas caught him with his eyes. Axel gave the hand woven between his fingers a gentle squeeze, and in turn Roxas shot him a cheeky grin.
When the got to the dining room, Roxas didn't sit at his usual spot; across from Axel. Instead they sat side by side. Kairi, with whom Axel had formed a sibling-like relationship with, flicked him on the back of the head.
"Hey! You stole my seat, you!" she said teasingly. Roxas smiled and winked at her. It was nice to see him smiling again; Axel had been afraid for a while that it was gone for good.
It was hard for Roxas to be around Kairi, the blonde told him once, because Kairi was so similar in appearance to Naminé. The only difference was in their hair color and style. They really did strikingly resemble one another in facial features, body types, skin tone, and even eye color. Personality-wise, however, they were polar opposites, and that's probably why Roxas could stand being around her now.
Roxas, probably realizing that he and Axel had forgotten to get food, stood up, "Steal it if you can, then," he taunted, dragging Axel over to the little counter with him.
At least he's eating again, Axel thought as Roxas piled three grilled cheeses on a plate. "Are you gonna eat all of those?"
"Don't be silly, half of it is for you," Roxas replied nonchalantly. "I might eat two, though. Grilled cheese is finger food, and I swear to God it has been way too long since I've been able to eat finger food."
Axel chuckled at the logic.
When they got back to the table, Kairi had not taken her seat back, having instead gotten the message and settled in Roxas' old seat: between next to Sora and Riku.
"Feels weird, the change in seating," she commented casually, "You guys aren't going to start feeding each other, are you?"
"You're just jealous 'cause you wish you had you some of this," Axel retorted, nudging into Roxas.
Roxas nudged back, but flatly replied, "Absolutely not. I want to enjoy being able to eat without any assistance, for once." With that, he picked up one of his sandwiches and took a slightly aggressive bite out of it.
Axel took one for himself. "Agreed. I don't go for that kind of thing. Say Rox, are we together now?"
The blonde gave him something of a warning look as he held up one finger, waiting to swallow before he spoke. "We'll talk about it," he said simply.
Axel smirked to himself. Victory is mine.
Suddenly, Demyx shouted from further down the table, "Hey! Can someone pass Zexy the ketchup? Please?"
Everyone fell silent except for Axel, who just shrugged like it was nothing and handed the ketchup over to Zexion. He thanked Axel quietly, and it was only then that Axel noticed that the rest of the room's volume had dropped ninety-eight percent.
"What?" he said obnoxiously, "This there something in my teeth?"
Tifa cut him off, speaking to Zexion. "Did you just allow him to call you Zexy?"
Zexion hunched his shoulders and hung his head low. Come to think of it, Axel couldn't recall a time anyone had ever gotten away with calling him anything other than Zexion. But apparently Demyx had, because instead of snapping, the young model murmured, "Maybe," in a bashful undertone.
"I think Demyx might have just made history," Kairi observed as chatter began to rise again. "Guess they really are bonded after all."
If they were, they did a pretty good job of hiding it. Sora and Riku, for example, were never, ever seen not making some kind of contact with one another, let alone being apart. Whether Sora was on his lap, holding his hand, or holding a thumb war, they were pretty much always touching. While Demyx was never found too far away from Zexion, their public relationship was nowhere near as extensive. Even Axel and Roxas found themselves in random bouts of affection from time to time.
But now that Axel put actual thought to it, now that he actually observed the couple, the fact that they were much closer than friends became apparent. Zexion was smiling in admiration as Demyx animatedly talked and laughed. As for Demyx himself, Axel could recognize all the signs of love from the early stages of their own relationship.
Demyx caught sight of Axel, who felt like a deer in headlights just sitting there watching him. He was expecting anger, or perhaps maybe a stiff nod. But he didn't get one. Instead, Demyx beamed at him, genuinely, gave him a little wave, and turned back toward the man that was presumably his lover. He was okay. He was better than okay. He was glowing.
It made Axel wonder what else he'd been missing. Like the fact that his family had been involved in an underground organization for his entire life…
-Le Flashback Mode-
When Roxas was around, he had been able to keep his composure. But now it was just him, standing in the wreckage that had once, and always has been, his home. His blood was boiling.
How could Reno not tell him? Even after his parents died, his older brother couldn't have taken a spare minute to tell him why his parents were killed? Not deceased in an accident, no, killed! And that he wasn't going to Midgar for the military after all? What made Reno so special, anyway? Axel had always been smarter, stronger, and more mature than him, so why had Axel been left out of the loop this whole time? Hopefully he'd find out soon.
"Why didn't you tell me?" he demanded of Leon. "You knew all this time… my entire life. Your entire life."
Leon didn't take his eyes off the ground. This was pretty understandable, since there was quite a bit to step through.
"It wasn't for me to tell," said Leon regretfully. "I know they were planning on telling you, since you turned eighteen. That's when they told Reno. But things happen. People get hurt," he pointed to the scar across his face. "People die. I promised Reno that I'd protect you, and that I wouldn't get you involved unless it was absolutely necessary."
"So I'm not really a pro at modeling?" Axel asked bleakly.
Leon looked at him like he was questioning his sanity. "Out of all that, you're worried about whether you look good in front of a camera?" he shook his head. "Axel, I can assure you, you are exceptional at posing. If you weren't I'd have you cleaning bathroom stalls. For what it's worth, I am sorry that you had to find out this way."
Axel kept his eyes on the road as he took in what was said.
"When can I call Reno?" he asked upon passing a small family huddled underneath a blanket on the side of the road. "My phone… it got wrecked while we were out running. Or maybe even when we went to the falls; I don't know anymore."
Leon withdrew his own phone from one of his many pockets and tossed it back to Axel. "It's a satellite phone, so you should be able to reach him."
Reno, suspiciously, was third on speed dial. He answered on the third ring.
"Leon! What the hell, man, I've been trying to reach you, yo! What the fuck is happening over there! Is Axel okay!"
"Reno," Axel answered, "It's me."
"Axel! Shit, Axel, I was so freaked out! Are you okay? Where are you?"
"I, Reno," Axel stated menacingly, "Am in Hollow Bastion, picking up the body of my current boyfriend's dead girlfriend, while he waits with my EX boyfriends, along with Kairi, Cid, and a load of other people I never knew existed. Care to explain what you're actually doing in Midgar?"
Reno cleared his throat. "They died, Axel. DIED. Because they were involved. They were killed. I didn't want that to happen to you."
"It's not your call!" Axel hissed. "I have a right to know! They were my parents too!"
"I thought it was the right thing to do…" Reno trailed off, "I don't know what you want me to say."
In truth, Axel didn't know what he wanted to hear. He just needed to vent to somebody. He needed to get all of the pent up, angry feelings he had off his chest. Reno had seen him explode before, and in that sense, exploding at Reno perhaps was not quite as bad at exploding at somebody he could scare away. Like Roxas.
Reno cleared his throat again. "I got your message from earlier," he said, "Are you all right? What's all this talk of boyfriends, you dog?"
Axel knew that he was just trying to lighten the mood, but it really didn't help much at all. Nevertheless, he explained to Reno in extensive detail exactly what had happened, and what was happening between he, Roxas, and Demyx. To his great surprise, when he finished with the kiss that they shared only hours ago, Reno started chortling through the phone.
"What!" Axel demanded, while simultaneously tripping over a particularly large chunk of metal.
"Sorry, what was that?" he said, having missed what Reno's reply was.
"I said that's cute," said Reno in a much louder (and incidentally, more obnoxious) voice, "And that I totally know what's going on."
"Really? You should tell me, 'cause I can't figure it the hell out," said Axel frustratedly.
"All in good time, baby brother."
"Axel?" said Leon, who'd somehow managed to end up behind him, "We're here."
SMACK
"The hell?" Axel exclaimed, bewildered.
"You were zoning out," said Roxas nonchalantly, "And I distinctly remember you telling me to slap you any time you did that."
Axel touched a hand to the tender skin where Roxas had hit him. "Huh, I guess I did," he said with a little laugh.
"What were you thinking about?" Roxas inquired, his head tilted slightly to the right.
"My brother," Axel replied, "I just can't believe he left me out of the loop this whole time, you know? How does family do that to each other?"
"Honestly, I was happier not knowing the truth," said Roxas bitterly, "Ignorance is bliss, no? I was perfectly content taking pictures. I had no problem with the idea of becoming a professional photographer, growing up, getting two kids and a dog, picket fence—the works. If I had been in your position, I'd rather live out a happy little life with no clue."
Roxas had a point. Things had been just fine the way they were, hadn't they?
"Still," said Axel. "It did happen. And I'd rather have been prepared."
He felt a light tap on his shoulder, temporarily zapping the thoughts from his mind. He turned around to see Zexion standing behind him.
"I think you have cells," he said quietly. "Jenova cells. When you're finished eating, would you mind coming with Roxas to the elemental training room? Lexaeus and I would like to get everyone with potential on the same track."
Training? Cells? Like he could do cool things too? Sweet.
"Yeah, sure. We'll be down in a sec," Axel agreed eagerly.
Zexion walked off, Demyx following close behind. Axel could see their fingers interlaced.
"Jealous?"
Axel turned towards Roxas to see the blonde staring at him with a spoon hanging from his mouth; he'd been previously using it to eat applesauce. He looked so innocent, it was adorable.
"Beg pardon?"
Roxas rolled his eyes and removed the spoon from his mouth. "I was asking if it made you jealous, seeing them together like that. Old feelings die hard, you know."
Axel hadn't even considered it. Was he jealous? He looked back to see, but all he could do was smile for them. "Nah. They really do seem to belong to each other. Maybe Demyx can finally find some security with him. He deserves that much. So!" he changed the subject, "You ready for this!"
Roxas scoffed. "Are you ready?"
Axel's face split into a wide grin. "Hell yes."
"Okay! Now that you're all here, there is a simple test we can conduct to see whether or not you possess Jenova's cells."
Axel, Roxas, Xion, Cloud, and Demyx all stood in one line, facing Zexion, who had Lexaeus standing against the mirror behind them.
Zexion continued, "This is going to seem a little silly, but I want each of you to shut your eyes an imagine yourself standing somewhere. Try to imagine a place that holds fond memories to you. For example, maybe a beach, or woods, hell even Disney Town for all I care. Imagine every aspect of it; how it smells, the temperature…"
His voice began to fade into something of a background noise as Axel did as he was told. Beyond the bailey, beyond the great maw of Hollow Bastion, there was a forest, and in that forest, was a cabin; a little A-frame chalet that he and his family used to go to during almost every summer when he was younger.
"Imagine every aspect of it; the smell—" Axel inhaled deeply. Pine wood. "—the temperature—"
It was warm, but not too warm. He could feel the sun shining down on his back, but it was a comfortable kind of warm, countered by a slight wind chill.
"Where are you? Are you standing or sitting?"
He was sitting. He was sitting down on the reddened wood of the elevated deck. He could feel the cool surface underneath his rear and his bare feet. He tried moving his foot; the rough surface of the deck slid uncomfortably against the bottoms of his calloused feet.
"Now, add everything else. Details, trees, animals, buildings, whatever it is that you're near. Incorporate the smallest little sights and sounds."
The clearing was surrounded by trees, aside from the opening that led to a dirt road. The sliding glass door to the rest of the chalet was to his left; the edge of the deck to his right and behind. Beyond the deck to his right, a little tree stump that he and Reno used to use as a base when they played hide-and-seek. Directly in front of him, the way off the deck; two or three steps to the grass, and then several wooden planks to help a person get to the area for parking. Mourning doves were singing in the trees.
"Okay, now look around you. Is there anything unusual about the place? You're looking for anything unusual, irritating, or perhaps frightening?"
Axel looked round. Everything seemed in place to him: graphitied dumpster, charcoal grill, great big rock—oh hey, what was that? He was sure that wasn't there before…
It looked as though someone had piled strips of wood around the old tree stump and used it to light a bonfire. How had he not noticed it before? Huge, fast moving flames licked away at the wood; they were growing. He could feel the heat on his skin now.
"Yes," he said aloud. He wasn't sure how long he'd been silent for, but he was guessing a good fifteen minutes, since his voice was slightly raspy and coated with phlegm.
"What do you see?"
"A great big bonfire," said Axel, "It's massive, and it keeps getting bigger." The hairs on his arms were beginning to singe. "Nobody's put any kind of pit around it; if it gets bigger, it could start a forest fire."
"You can stop it, Axel. Concentrate. Willit to stop."
Axel did as he was told. He concentrated as hard as he could. But the flames were still growing, consuming, changing colors now, even. Suddenly, however, he stopped feeling the heat from them.
Or rather, he heat he had been feeling was beginning to collect, right in the spot Zexion had described for Roxas earlier. His third eye. The energy flowed abundantly through his veins, strengthening him, empowering him. It burned, searingly hot, but not in an unpleasant way.
It kept building up. It was kind of like sex, actually, except not nearly as pleasurable. But the burning heat kept gathering, gathering underneath his forehead. As it grew, so did the intense pressure. The pressure kept building, the harder he concentrated; he'd have to find a way to release it soon.
Spread it around.
He wasn't sure whether the words came from Zexion or within himself, but either way it seemed like a pretty good idea. He could feel the heat traveling; off his forehead, down through his jugular, across his collarbones, to filter into his cephalic vein. It was still moving, spreading like a wildfire, leaving a burning trail in its wake as it coursed through his arms. Then finally—
The fire stopped. It had found its exit.
Axel opened his eyes and let out a startled cry of shock. His hand was on fire. It was glowing bright orange, for all of them to see. It was very warm on Axel's skin, but not hot enough to burn. It was like carrying a little life form. A little heart.
Zexion's eyes glowed behind the flame. "Pyroklectisis…" he whispered to himself. He face broke into a happy smile, the first, in fact, Axel had ever seen on him. "I'll be right back."
The others didn't have their eyes shut anymore, presumably because Axel's shout had broken their concentration. Roxas' baby blues were aflame as he watched Axel try to play with the fire. Axel soon found he could. He shrunk it, enlarged it, made it into a tiny column, and snaked it around his wrist. Upon making eye contact with Roxas, however, the flame vanished with a small little pop.
"It looks like my giant keys have a little competition," said Roxas with a smirk. There was a hint of pride in his voice, and it made Axel really want to hug him. Before he could take a step, however, Zexion returned with a pair of circular metallic objects dotted with spikes.
"Your dad was a pyrokleptic too, Axel," he said proudly. He held up the wheel-like devices. "These are called chakrams. They're enforced with a special metallic alloy that can support a flame without being consumed by it. By my understanding, Eric made these himself. They belong to you now."
Axel took hold of the black handles, one in each hand. They were coated with a reasonably pliable material that he did not recognize. They seemed to recognize him, though. The material molded perfectly to the shape of his first. His father's fist.
"Wow…" he said out loud, swallowing the lump that had formed in his throat.
"They can be thrown like boomerangs, or used as melee weapons," Zexion continued, "And, if used properly, they can even shield you from certain attacks. While they are uniquely of your father's creation, I'm sure Leon can teach you how to use them properly.
"This means a lot to me, Zex," said Axel, "Thanks."
He spun them experimentally in his hands. They weren't too heavy, but they had enough weight to carry a decent momentum. He alternated arms, swinging them back and forth. He was able to maintain what he thought was a pretty steady balance, whilst throwing his hips back and forth. It reminded him of those silver creatures, although his movements weren't as sporadic.
"Hey, Zexion, what's a dusk?" Axel asked, having just remembered the metallic creature, "I kept meaning to ask, but I only seem to remember when the time's inconvenient."
"A dusk…" Zexion began hesitantly, as though unable to find his words, "Are what's left of a person if they're drained of their life force. Like… like with Riku. If Riku were to leech my psychic energy to use his own dark gaia, and he kept it up for long enough, or let it get out of control, I'd become a dusk instead of dying. It's like… it's like losing your soul. You become dead but not dead. You retain basic function and the ability to follow simple instruction, but the mind is lost. They feed on the things around them: scents, sounds, sometimes sights. Anything they're told to hunt. They can alter the area around to get what they want. It's really the worst fate that could be brought upon a person. The nobodies specialize in creating dusks. They have hundreds upon hundreds of men and women enslaved. Which is why we teach shielding."
"Shielding? What's that?" asked Xion, looking rather interested.
"It's exactly what it sounds like," Zexion replied, "It's a defense system to protect your mind from leeches, or telepaths, for that matter. When the resistance came across our first shadow-thrower ally, we managed to devise a way to prevent ourselves from becoming dusks. It's not infallible, but it helps."
The group remained silent, staring at their feet rather than to each other. After a moment, Zexion clapped his hands together awkwardly.
"Okay! So, um, Axel, you can sit down and take a break, so we can work on everyone else."
Axel nodded and sat next to Lexaeus against the north wall, which was made completely of mirror.
"Hello," Lexaeus greeted him kindly. Axel smiled and nodded to acknowledge him, but made no effort to hold a conversation, as Lexaeus didn't come across as talkative to him, one, and they shouldn't have been talking anyway, as it was polite to give the others silence.
Zexion repeated his trancelike statements, and this time, Demyx was the first to speak up.
"It's raining," he said after about ten minutes. "I mean, Atlantica is 95% water, but I mean it's really raining. At first it wasn't so bad, but now it's pelting me in the face."
He held an expression of pain and distress, but he didn't open his eyes. Axel wondered if he had looked like that with his big bonfire.
"Concentrate, Demyx," said Zexion, his calm, even tone wavering a little bit, "try to absorb the water. Will it to stop raining on you."
"I-I'll try," said Demyx. His face changed from one of pain to one resembling someone who was trying very hard to remember something. It almost looked similar to the one Zexion had during his demonstration on the first day.
Suddenly, from his very forehead burst a stream of water. His eyes remained shut very tightly, until an entire clone of him, made completely of water, stood before him. It was his exact shape, height, hell it even had a mullet.
He cracked an icy blue eye open.
"Wah!" he screamed. He fell down right on his ass, and meanwhile, the water-Demyx splashed over him and onto the ground, leaving a wet puddle to spread across the mat. Zexion ran to him immediately and crouched down next to him.
"That was amazing, Dem!" he exclaimed, "Are you alright?"
Demyx took several deep, shaky breaths. "Yeah, yeah I'm good. That was just kinda freaky, y'know?"
Axel wasn't at all offended that Zexion had so enthusiastically praised Demyx and not him. He understood his place, and he understood their relationship. He thought Demyx's water clone was cooler anyway.
Suddenly, everyone stood still as a bright light erupted, enveloping everyone and everything in the room.
"What the hell is that!" Cloud shouted, his eyes snapping open. Axel noticed that in this situation, their hue was raised to a color that matched Roxas.'
In his hands, Roxas held a blinding ball of warming light.
"What is that?" Roxas said in awe. Except his mouth did not move as the words fluttered through the air. Axel's jaw dropped.
"Did you just say something, Rox?" Axel asked uncertainly.
"What? No, I don't think so."
"No."
There was no mistaking it this time. Axel heard the words simultaneously, but the blonde's lips only moved enough to pronounce one syllable.
"Guy? What's going on? Aside from the glowing ball of light, I mean."
Zexion stood back up. "Well, it appears that you're showing signs of multiple talents already. I can hear your thoughts right now, Roxas. We all can. You're a communicator, or telepath, and light seems to be your element."
Yeah? Then what am I thinking about right now?
A glass of lemonade appeared in Axel's mind, as if he were thinking about or imagining one himself. Roxas must have planted it there.
"Lemonade," Zexion replied automatically, shielding his eyes from the light. "Roxas, do you mind…?"
"Hmm? Oh! Yeah, sorry," said Roxas, "I'm not—err, not sure how to make it—" he let his hands fall loosely to the side, and the light disappeared, leaving Axel in what seemed a very dimly-lit room with spots blurring his vision.
Zexion furrowed his brow. "Now, I'm not quite sure if the telepathic connection is still open."
Roxas turned completely away from Axel, and as he did so, Axel couldn't help but notice how damn fine those jeans made him look—
Stop looking at my ass, Axel.
Cloud and Demyx snickered, and Axel could feel himself turning into a shade of red that matched his hair.
"Are you saying you can read my mind, too?" asked Demyx, sounding both bewildered and a bit alarmed.
"Only if you're craving ambrosia salad." Demyx's jaw dropped.
All chatter was abruptly halted as Lexaeus stood up. "We'll have to tell the others," he said in a deep, intimidating baritone, "And teach them to shield telepathically, as well as just from the shadow-throwers. We have to proceed with utmost caution."
Axel raised his eyebrow. Before just a moment ago, he didn't realize that Lexaeus was actually capable of talking in big sentences, and that's why he assumed the giant remained silent.
The color drained from Roxas' face. "You think I'm dangerous?" he asked fearfully.
Lexaeus nodded grimly. "By no means am I saying that you have any intentions of hurting us, or anyone. But we all need to learn to protect ourselves from you. As a precaution. We don't know what else you're capable of; you might hurt somebody without even meaning to. Until we learn the full extent of your Jenova cells, we're treading dangerous waters."
Roxas swallowed and nodded. Then he replied. "Okay, I understand."
"I can't hear you anymore, Roxy," Xion commented cheerfully. "That must mean you broke the connection on your own!"
'Not necessarily," Zexion countered, "We can't know for sure."
"I can't hear any of you, either," said Roxas, "Nobody knows what I'm thinking?"
They all shook their heads.
Roxas approached the wall Axel was seated against and slid onto the floor. "Well, that's a relief," he sighed, leaning against Axel's shoulder, "Because it would be really embarrassing if you all could hear what I was thinking all the time."
"Oh, really?" said Axel with a smirk, "I'm intrigued. What kind of things have you been hiding from me?"
Roxas shrugged. "Just… bad thoughts. I don't know, sarcastic thoughts, snide comments, general emo-ing. Things people don't need to hear. I'm sure everyone has them."
"Roxas," Zexion called. Axel and Roxas both turned to face him. "Sora and Riku are the best at shielding, as well as telepath-based techniques. You can pick this up again with them tomorrow, okay?" When Roxas nodded he continued, "Axel, could you summon your fire for me once more? After that, you can both be dismissed."
"But we just got here!" Axel exclaimed.
Zexion raised his visible eyebrow. "It's been over an hour. Plus, if I'm sure you can do it, I'll have more time to work on this lot."
"Alright, alright…"
He stood up, and crossed the room so that he was a far enough distance from his friends to not burn them.
"You don't have to picture the fire this time. Just call the energy to your third eye like you did last time," said Zexion.
Okay, right. Fire. Forehead, forehead, go!
To his surprise, the fire came immediately to him. It pooled up right between his eyes, and it seemed to build up behind them. Now that he knew which paths he had to spread it to, it was much easier to channel. Within the moment he had a little flame in his hands. He shaped it into a heart.
"Hey, check it out!" he said with a cheeky grin. Roxas giggled and shook his head.
"Thank you," said Zexion, eager to move forward, "You can go."
"Okay," he agreed, shrugging his shoulders, "Let's go, Roxy. Thanks for the lesson!"
"Bye," Roxas said, waving shyly at his brother and friend. He allowed Axel to escort him from the element-proof room. "What are you thinking about?" he asked as they traversed the long, narrow hallways, "I'd find out myself, but I can't figure out how to get it back. The thing, I mean. Getting it is like… I don't know how to describe it. It's like moving air."
"You," said Axel simply.
"What?"
Axel rolled his eyes. "I'm thinking about you," he clarified.
Roxas turned a beautiful shade of magenta.
"O-oh," he stuttered, "I guess I've been thinking a bit too. A-about you, I mean."
Well, here we are. The moment of truth.
"Dare I ask what those thoughts are?" Axel teased, trying to lighten things up some.
Roxas looked up seriously. "Ones that are far too sickeningly fluffy and disgusting for me ever to repeat out loud. Ever."
"Don't tell me you're turning into a girl!" Axel cried out melodramatically. Roxas hit him.
"I'm not kidding," he said solemnly, "I keep dreaming about you, and stuff. You keep showing up everywhere. Not necessarily in person, just," he tapped on his skull, "In here. Like yesterday, I made coffee for you even though you left early with the committee. And I saw a book in the library that was same color as your hair. Real dumb shit like that." He took a deep breath. "Listen, Axe, this isn't gonna go away. So uhh… let's just… let it happen."
If Axel could have paused time right there, he would have. And he would have done the most uncoordinated, horrifying little victory dance ever to be witnessed, and screamed his little heart out. But he did not have power over time (though it wouldn't have surprised him if Roxas did) and it was time to be serious.
"Really? Are you sure?" he asked. He hated asking the question, because what if Roxas wasn't sure? What if he changed his mind at the last minute? What if they had to go all the way back to square one and start over again? What if—?
"Just shut up and kiss me, damn it," Roxas growled.
Axel didn't need telling twice. Blue eyes met green for a moment, and then they were up against the nearest wall and kissing like it was their first. Limbs became twined in such a way that it became no longer distinguishable whose parts belonged to who. That exhilarating, first-kiss feeling was spreading through Axel like a wild fire, even if it wasn't really their first.
It was such a thrill, to be able to hold his little blonde the way he was doing, and to kiss him like he was doing. He put everything he had—fear, love, hurt, frustration, sadness, anger, and most of all, hope—into the movements of his lips, letting out everything he'd kept pent-up for the last several weeks.
And Roxas was eagerly kissing right back. He began to nudge Axel with his tongue a few times, egging him on to let things heat up a little bit. A few nudges later and they were having a full-blown, steamy make out session right in the hallway. Roxas was pressed so closely up against him that one could not fit a pin between them.
They were, unfortunately, abruptly cut off by a loud wolf-whistle. Without stepping back or attempting to shift their position in any way, Axel broke the kiss to see who was flagging them down. The answer rather surprised him.
It was Cloud, strangely enough, and he was accompanied by… Leon? How awkward.
"Yeeeeeah, Foxy Roxy, get some!" he yelled teasingly. Leon turned to whisper something in the taller blonde's ear, and that, amazingly, earned a chuckle.
"Well, hot damn, Roxas," said Axel, possibly loud enough for the others to hear, "I didn't know he was physically capable of making facial expressions."
Roxas giggled. "Neither did I. Yeah, you to, Cloud!" he shouted the last bit, suggestively winking at his big brother. A blush spread across his cheeks to match Roxas' and, as if this weren't strange enough, one appeared on Leon's too.
Roxas dropped his jaw. "What! You two? Seriously? Ha ha that is so priceless! I was only kidding you kno—ah!"
While he'd been talking, Axel had taken the opportunity to swoop his head down to latch on to the lovely little neck presented to him. The effect was immediate: blood pooled up in Roxas' little cheeks as he tilted his head to the side for better access. Axel could feel him slipping down the wall, so he gripped his waist firmly to steady him.
He could hear Leon and Cloud making hoots and catcalls, but he just flipped them off and kept going.
"Oh, hey now! There's no need for that! We just came to find you two to tell you that pool is about to start. Are you guys in or out?"
Axel and Roxas exchanged looks.
"In. We'll be down in a second," said Roxas, turning around to lazily lean up against Axel, who was purely delighted. His pulse quickened, and since Roxas was leaned up right against his chest, he could probably feel it.
Cloud nodded curtly at them and began to walk away. Leon, however, lingered for just long enough to make a threatening, cut-throat gesture to them before following Cloud towards the direction of the stairs to the second floor.
"Well that was weird," said Roxas, interlacing his fingers with Axel's. "I don't think I've ever seen Cloud acting like that. Unless he's bitching about something, his voice doesn't usually rise above sixty decibels."
"You think they're really together?" Axel asked disinterestedly. Roxas stood up fully and also began walking towards the stairs. Reluctantly, Axel followed.
"Hard to say," said Roxas thoughtfully. "On one hand, Cloud is totally awkward and clueless when it comes to any kind of romance. On the other, so is Leon. And, well, they were smiling. In the nineteen years of my short life, I've only ever seen Cloud smile while under the influence. If they are together, I'm happy for them."
Axel hmm'ed in response, opting not to continue the conversation. His thoughts were far more occupied with Roxas-related things.
Holy shit holy shit I get to keep him and oh my god he's all mine. Roxas is mine! Ha ha ha! Hear that, world? Roxas is all mine mine mine hehehehheeheee he liiiiiikes meeeee!
Charming, Axel was. Very mature.
If anyone dared call him up on it, he'd tell them to go to hell. Nothing could compare to how amazingly, incredibly happy he felt. He felt like he could fly. Axel had never done any drugs before, but by descriptions he'd received from friends, this, he assumed, was what it felt like to be on ecstasy. It was such an amazing high, the best kind of feeling to feel. But that's just love, he guessed.
"You're all smiles, aren't you?" said Roxas, who in spite of himself was smiling as well.
"Can't help it," said Axel happily, swinging their connected hands to and fro. "I kissssed youuuu," he continued in a singsong voice, "And you kissed me baaaack."
Roxas scoffed, "It's not like that's never happened before."
"But it was special!" Axel argued disgruntledly.
The blonde laughed. "You're a dork," he said informatively.
Axel gave his hand a little squeeze. "But I get to be your dork, right?"
Roxas squeezed back. "Yes, Axel, from here on out you are officially allowed to be my dork. Hope you don't mind my being your big, fat mess."
"Don't be silly, you aren't fat," Axel replied neutrally. "But, no offense love, you are a bit of a mess."
"I'm allowed to be a mess," said Roxas with a smirk. "Besides, I think I've been much less messier nowadays."
Axel pushed open the door to the rec room with his free hand.
"Yeah, I'd say you are."
"Hey! You made it!" Riku called jubilantly, "Leon thought for sure that you two were goners!"
"He's just deflecting," Axel called back easily. "Don't tell me nobody's noticed how far gone he's been with a certain someone we all know.'
Cloud popped his blonde head up over the bar (yes, the recreation room also included a full functioning bar) and threw a shot glass full of something or another toward Axel's head. He and Roxas both ducked and came back up laughing as it smashed against the wall.
"God damn it, Cloud!" Cid growled, "Throw an' empty one next time, eh? Alcohol's damn expensive!"
Demyx, who was holding Zexion on his lap, laughed out loud. "Oh snap!" he exclaimed, "At first I thought you were kidding!"
"Yeah, so did we," Roxas agreed.
Cloud started grumbling something unintelligible and disappeared behind the counter once again.
"They don't really like to talk about it," Tifa supplied as Leon grouched to some remote emo corner of the room.
"SCORE!" Sora shouted, remaining completely oblivious to all the other conversations occurring around the room. Everyone sniggered.
Cid, Tifa, Sora, Riku, Kairi, and Xion surrounded the pool table, and the others (Leon, Demyx, Zexion and Cloud) were spread about the room talking, drinking, and participating in all sort of general tomfoolery.
"Xion's just took Leon's place," said Sora, "If you like, you two can switch with Riku and I when the turn's over."
"Sure," Axel agreed, shrugging, "You better have some skills, dear coz," he said, addressing Kairi, "Cause me and Roxas suck at pool."
Roxas indignantly shouted, "Hey! I'm not that bad! I got one of the balls in the hole last—okay, I'm just gonna stop before you all go off and make innuendos about balls and sticks and holes and whatever else you crazy kids can come up with nowadays."
"Says the nineteen year old—oh, thanks, Cloud," said Axel, having just received his regular jack and coke from Cloud. "You wanna sip?"
It was meant to be teasing, but Roxas swatted his hands away and said determinedly, "Get me one of those."
"Uh, is that allowed?" Cloud asked Leon.
Leon shrugged. "Since we aren't technically in Hollow Bastion, nor affiliated with the Bastonian government, I don't see why not. We don't bother setting laws like that in our little dominion unless it's proven necessary."
"Niiiiice," said Sora who, Roxas found out shortly after arriving, was actually Axel's age. "Come and join the big boys!"
"Say Cloud!" Axel yelled. Cloud stopped what he was doing and looked up. "Do you remember Yuffie!"
"Do you know how to make her special?"
Cloud nodded.
"Whip one up for Roxy, please!" he shouted. Cloud gave him a thumbs-up.
Roxas tugged on his sleeve. "What's in Yuffie's special?"
Axel smirked. "A damn good time."
The remainder of the evening was spent inventing drinking games instead of playing pool; Axel's personal favorite being 'beer pool" instead of beer pong, which everyone forgot the rules to by morning. Roxas, as it turned out, was incredibly lightweight, and his evening included (but was not limited to): Karaoke on the pool table (which was actually so fantastic it earned him an audience of Xaldin and Merlin), having a samurai battle with Sora using pool sticks, taking body shots off of Axel, having Axel take body shots off of him, and finally managing to blow out all the light bulbs in the room with his overactive element.
As he and Axel walked (stumbled) back to their room at some ungodly hour in the morning, Roxas decided that life was okay. He had something to live for now, he had a purpose. He had somebody to be, and something meaningful and good to do with his time. It wasn't home, but there were people here who cared about him; and he cared about them. As it dawned upon him that he had made a new life here, he found himself happy that he did. There wasn't anything in the world he wouldn't trade in the world to have Naminé back, but the pain, it was becoming easier.
He knew that things wouldn't be able to stay this peaceful for long. They couldn't, not when his task to take down Xehanort loomed in the distance. But peace had been such a difficult thing to come by lately, he felt he deserved a break from pain.
And of course, he had Axel to help him through all of that.
He and the aforementioned redhead ended up collapsing on the same bed, and Roxas was just fine with that. He snuggled up close to his boyfriend's (boyfriend, waaah!) radiating body, and fell asleep just like that.
He was going to be okay.
A/N: For those of you who forgot back from chapter six, Yuffie's special is made of cherry 7up, Vodka, Kahlua, and chocolate syrup. A recipe for Roxy fun!
*Edit* My 100th reviewer shall receive a oneshot 8]