I have survived the goddamn flu! And as a celebration I have this semi-large chapter.
As usual, thanks to KatsWords141 for her fantastic reviews. Yes, our little masked man is getting a little attached. Obsessed, even? Hehe. Only time and the energy drinks that spurr me to write this stuff can tell. Another thanks to my newest reviewers, Gaara-frenzy, Riot-Angel and Kayomie Latoro. Kayomie, I'm very flattered! Thankyou so much! And there's no need to excuse yourself, these stories are like getting my Rorschach fix. Why do the best characters die so tragically?
Anyway, onto the somewhat coherent slabs of words!
June 3rd:
Getting ready for tonight. I have so little time on my hands today. Went to one of the thrift store, I needed something sort of formal to wear. Came home with a nice enough outfit. $20 all up, because it's 1940's knock-off Chanel. Thrift stores have never failed me.
I hate business things. Mom fucking owes me so badly for this. Here I am, putting on more makeup than I like to wear and spending an hour on my fucking hair and she hasn't even called me to wish me a happy birthday. I did get a call from that fat woman I used to work with. Susan or whatever her name is. She wants me to come out to some bar with her tonight. I guess this meeting is good for something.
Oh, and that weirdo from next door followed me back from the thrift store. Gotta remember to keep an eye out, maybe tell the landlady. She doesn't seem to like him much, either; maybe it would be a good excuse. Whatever, I could probably take him in a fight. It's not like he's a big guy, he probably does a lot of drugs or something. He gives me the creeps. I told him to leave me alone or I'd kick his ass, he might think it's funny now, but I won't hesitate to shove that sign where the sun doesn't shine.
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Rorschach's Journal, June 3rd: Still waiting for her, in apartment right now. Said it wouldn't take longer than a few hours. She's late.
Find myself obsessively wondering where she is, using all self control to stop self from paying visit to restaurant to check on her. Followed her to thrift store without face, she noticed me on the way back. Doesn't take kindly to being followed. Threatened to assault me. Had to resist laughing.
Talk of gang war has died down. Think alliance has something to do with it. The dogs are afraid of us, running into their holes with their tails between their legs. Past rivalries mean nothing now; to the scum it's a matter of surviving.
It's her birthday tonight. Things are quiet. Giving her night off. Might shut her up; give me some peace for the night.
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June 4th:
Wow. Just wow. Amazing night last night. Where do I begin?
Adrian Veidt? Well, even for a total snob, he's a pretty cool guy. How he gets all that publicity is no mystery to me anymore, what a smooth-talker. No wonder mom wants me to run off into the sunset with this guy, he's like a yuppie only a little less arrogant and with a nicer haircut. Actually, he's a lot nicer to me than yuppies are.
Anyway, yeah, I have another meeting with him at lunchtime tomorrow; he's going to take me to Rockefeller research facility to understand the fabrics more… I might get to meet Dr Manhattan. I'm shitting myself over it, to be honest. I've seen on TV that he can make people explode just by looking at them. What if I say something wrong?
Ugh, getting off that subject…
Rorschach was there when I got back, of course. Still scared the crap out of me, though. Anyway, the weirdest thing happened. It goes without saying that he quizzed me on Veidt… but he gave me the night off. Seriously! He even said happy birthday. It scared me. Something is wrong.
Anyway, I'd better head off. I have to go get some food and medical supplies, as well as pick up a new shirt or something for tomorrow. What the hell are you supposed to wear when you're meeting the infamous 'Super-Man?'
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Rorschach's Journal: June 5thth: Veidt is up to something. Very suspicious. She told me he's taking her to Rockefeller today. Possible meet with Dr Manhattan, don't like idea of how much information she seems to be getting. Old ties are never cut, it seems. She may end up meeting four of the Watchmen, five if she comes into contact with Ms Jupiter. Is her meeting of so many masks really inadvertent? Or is this a cover for something more sinister, maybe trying to out the Comedian, even me. Don't like idea of her meeting Ms Jupiter. Women seem to be incapable of keeping whore mouths shut, especially to each other. Who knows what information she may be able to squeeze out of Veidt using disgusting feminine wiles, although I'm confident my theories on his homosexuality are true, possibility is still there. May be so sexually perverted that any gender will do, be it with fellow men or whorish snakes.
Will be waiting for her. Know she'll slip up sooner or later. One day she'll forget I'm watching, stumble in with blood on hands. Matter of time.
Came across dead child tonight. Noticed she barely reacted emotionally. Have a broken her, or is she a good liar?
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June 5th:
Quick entry today, I'm leaving in about fifteen minutes. Told Rorschach where I'm going so he won't flip out when he finds out (and he will.) Didn't seem happy at all with the idea of me meeting Dr Manhattan.
Called Mom today. No answer. She must have been at the doctor or in a meeting or something. Real shame, I bet she would have loved to know how the thing with Veidt went.
Saw a dead kid last night. I was so sickened… I wanted to cry, but I couldn't. Not in front of Rorschach. He thinks I'm harder now. I didn't react at all; if I had I would have cracked. I came home and cried the hardest I ever have.
And now I'm off to meet the super-man. Here's hoping I don't fuck up and get disintegrated.
--
Rorschach's Journal, June 6th: Waited until 9.00, was about to leave and pay Veidt a visit when she arrived, in tears. Initially wouldn't tell me what happened, insisted nothing's wrong, changed her stance after I threatened to interrogate him myself. Veidt sexually propositioned her. She insists it wasn't a sexual thing, unless Veidt wanted to start seeing her and not expect fornication in return. Not the case. Never is. Know him better. Does this make Veidt so perverted and sick that he can't even decide what sexual orientation he adheres to? Had sudden violent urges towards him. Confused by lack of violent urges to sobbing whore. Veidt's advances most likely her fault. Doubt he knew how much she tends to over react in such respects. Probably saw her as conquest, she's not usual type gossip columns link him with, disgustingly altered whores with faces plastered in expensive paint women seem to clamour for in fits of low self-esteem.
Says she also turned down job offer with him. Understandable considering his bad timing via personal matters. Didn't like how upset she was. Partially angered, partially sympathetic. Seems horrified by any suggestion of fornication, possibly triggered by bad experience as child? Seems to see it same way as me: a dirty and irredeemable custom. Not comfortable with similarities. Thoughts stirring up weird emotions.
Her resolve didn't fail her. Joined me for patrol, twice as much rage as I have ever seen in her. Asked her to sneak into suspects home via ventilation window so as to surprise them. Opened door for me, she'd already killed guard dog. Eerily nostalgic.
Calmed down enough to tell me about meeting Manhattan. Seemed in awe of him. Met Ms Jupiter, said she mentioned me, doesn't think highly of me. Nothing's changed.
Talk of gang war near non-existent. Disappointing, but intriguing. Are they planning something bigger? Possible need to eliminate us first. Must investigate.
--
June 6th:
Fucking terrible night…
The meeting yesterday? That started off well. Started off being the key phrase used here. Veidt took me to Rockefeller, which is breathtaking enough. I've never seen so many military personnel in one place.
Then we walked in and there was this really weird sort of humming noise… and the further in the residential quarters we went the more blue light there was. And then I saw him. Holy shit… how do you describe a god? I don't think you can… well; obviously, he was blue, and glowing.
And he was naked. Because you know, being around someone who can destroy tanks with a wave of his hand isn't comfortable enough. I didn't want to make eye contact but I didn't want to look at… at it, either. I'm not kidding when I say I was uncomfortable, either. I felt a little sick, just seeing it out like that. They're so ugly…
Anyway, lack of clothing aside, Jesus tap-dancing Christ! It was so fucking surreal… he showed me how he originally made the fabrics to give me an idea of how the structure works… he has such a precise and logical way of speaking, but he has this amazing and calming voice that doesn't match. Hearing him explain the difference in shifts of the atomic structure of the fabrics was fascinating, even though I didn't understand any of it. Anyway, the square of fabric was beautiful. It was like this lovely shimmering yellow colour with all sorts of blues in it, and it shifted on its own. He let me keep it. It's beyond me how a fabric that feels so delicate could withstand a bullet.
Anyway, after that, Laurie came out. I was like 'Holy fuck, I'm meeting the second Silk Spectre.' I was in a room with Dr Manhattan, Ozymandias and Silk Spectre. Jesus Christ, it was amazing.
So Laurie shows me around while Manhattan and Veidt talk about things that don't make sense to me. The place is sort of nice, considering there are military guards all over the place. We sat down and had some coffee… she doesn't like Rorschach, seemed a little judgemental to me. She assumed I was sleeping with Veidt, too. Guess that explains a lot of things…
After that, Veidt brought me back to the office for some finalizations. He gave me some files with the final details of the fabric shipments, the details on tools and some other stuff I don't understand. Then he mentioned he put some job positions in there that he's willing to give to me, one of them was for his PR assistant, which has phenomenal pay and awesome hours.
Now, I was seriously going to take them home and look at them. He's a bit weird but bearable, and the positives outweighed the negatives.
But then… then he asked me to stay behind. For drinks. He said something about getting to know me better, and how my thought patterns 'fascinated him,' and how he's curious about why I'm always single. I told him I was uncomfortable and I was on the brink of losing it, I had to leave. I can't do this shit. I can't fucking do it. What a fucking slime bag. And then as I'm leaving he tells me that I'm still welcome to come to work for him and that he's got the message and it won't come up again. What the hell?
I mean, what the fuck am I, some sort of sexual conquest? I left. He wanted to know why, first. So I told him the truth. I told him I'm seeing someone else.
I lost it on the way home. Even the thought of his grimy, manicured and moisturised hands coming near me freaks me sick. Spent the whole trip home crying. I must have looked like a lunatic. A lady on the subway asked what was wrong. I told her it was nothing. I mean, what do you tell people? That the 'smartest man in the world' offered you a chance to form some sort of relationship with him and you turned him down because he sickens you? Because he's older than you? Because he prostitutes himself for corporate gains when he could be doing something else? Because he's just like all the other men out there under his perfect fucking image?
Mom's gonna hate me. Maybe I'm over reacting. I've thrown away something great. But I can't help it. It feels wrong.