It was the reign of Delores Umbridge, and it was the time of pranking. First, the Weasley twins were setting off fireworks left and right, causing overall chaos. I was one of the few students, though, who took the advantage of going home for Easter holidays.

"Hey, Susan."

I looked up from my feet to see Eric. My stomach dropped out from under me. I'd been dreading this all break, but it needed to happen.

"Hello, Eric." I said slowly.

"What's wrong?" He asked, taking a seat next to me.

"I think we need to have a talk." I said. I looked him in the eyes, an acidic green. "About our relationship."

"What's up?" Eric asked, concerned now.

I took a deep breath and closed my eyes. God, I thought this was going to be easy. I swallowed, and opened my eyes again. I can do this. I have to do this.

"I think it's time I've been honest with you, really honest." I said. I almost couldn't bear to look at him, but I had to. "I think you're a great guy, you really are, and I wish you the most happiness in the world."

"But-" He prompted.

I took another shuddering breath. "You deserve to go find someone who truly loves you. I love you, in a platonic way. But not in the way that you're looking for. I was just using you to move on, from the only person I've ever truly romantically loved. I realize now that that's just not fair to you, or any of the guys I've flirted with, dated, or kissed since the one I really love moved on."

I looked down at my shoes. "I understand if you're angry- you have every right to be. I understand if you want your stuff back- I'll willingly give it all back. I just want you to be happy with someone who truly loves you in the way you want." I finally looked up. He was just staring sadly at me.

"I guess it kinda hurts a little bit," he said. "But I guess we were always meant to say goodbye. Just a summer fling. I feel sorry for you, though. You must feel so empty, and I can only begin to imagine that. As for the stuff- keep it. I wouldn't have given it, if I didn't want to. We were just using each other- I was using you as an accessory, you were using me as a way to move on."

"Can we still be friends?" I asked timidly.

"I think so." Eric then hugged me. "I hope you find what you're looking for, Susan."

"Me too."

"You seem depressed." Caspian said, taking a seat in the library next to me.

"Just, insightful, I guess," I replied, opening a book on natural magic.

"What do you mean?"

"I just realize now that what I did wasn't fair. I used people just to move on, but I never fell for any of them." I hesitated. "I broke it off during the holidays with my muggle boyfriend."

"Are you doing alright?" He asked.

"I'm fine." I answered. "He's better off without me."

"If you say so." He muttered.

It was moments like those that made me wonder if maybe Peter and Edmund were wrong, but I somehow doubted it. Peter might've had rivalry, but he wouldn't have done that. Would he though, I wondered, as I slammed the book shut, and placed it where it belonged.

He followed me out to the hub of the school, where there was a crowd around Fred and George Weasley with Umbridge and Filch.

"So you thought that it would be amusing, did you, to turn a school corridor into a swamp?" She demanded.

"Yes." Said one twin, unfazed.

"Well, you're about to find out what happens to trouble-makers at this school," Umbridge said with a sadistic smile.

"I don't think we are." One twin said.

"Yeah, I think we've outgrown full-time education." The other added.

"Time to put our talents to use." The first said.

"Accio brooms!" They chorused, and broomsticks with chains attached were conjured to them.

They hopped on them, and circled around. "Want pranks? Come to Weasley's Wizard Wheezes, in Diagon Alley!" One shouted.

"Special discounts to any Hogwarts students who swear they'll use our products to get rid of this bat!" The other cried. Then they took off.

Mayhem ensued. I always wore a Bubble-Head charm leaving lessons, and taught Caspian how to do the same, so that he wouldn't choke on all the Dungbombs, either.

All I did was use some Puking Pastules to get out of Umbridge's lessons. Umbridge-itis was fun. Better than succumbing to blatant dictatorship of it all. I tried to keep myself from flirting left and right- I wasn't going to be unfair like that again. I promised myself that, and I intended to keep that promise, no matter how hard it was. It made it hard to float atop my misery, but I wouldn't drown either. If I succumbed, one or the other, perhaps it wouldn't have all been so painstakingly hard.

To help with my homework, I'd taken my muggle radio out, since it was wireless. It played some of my favorite artists, Buddy Holly, Journey, the Eagles, and John Mellancamp, and Cyndi Lauper.

One of my favorite beats began to play. "Been working so hard, I'm punching my card- eight hours for what? Oh, tell me what I got."

I got to my feet, and shed my robes since they were a nuisance. I gave a little kick with each leg, and laughed. "Dance with me, Cas!" I said, as I pulled him to his feet.

"Now I gotta cut loose, footloose!"

I loved "Footloose" quite a bit. It was one of my favorite songs of all time, and I couldn't help but belt out the lyrics as I danced, despite the funny looks the purebloods were giving me, and the slightly confused one on Caspian's face. Even when I was Queen, dancing was one of the few times I was free. Free to be myself, whomever that was.

What a terrifying thought. I don't know who I really am. I ignored it, keeping up with the music. When the song was over, I collapsed panting onto the soft grass.

"Is this the kind of music you Britainians listen to?" Caspian asked.

"Muggles, yes." I said.

"What are muggles, again?" He asked. The purebloods all whipped their heads around.

"Not so loud!" I hissed. "Muggles are non-magical folk. I'm a muggle-born, which means my parents didn't have magic, but I do. So did Peter, Edmund, and Lucy."

"What's a mudblood?" He whispered.

"You see," I explained coolly. "There are those who have wizards all through their line, far enough to make them believe they are purely wizard, with no magical blood whatsoever. They believe that muggles are inferior to them, because they can't use magic, and think that muggle-borns are unworthy of magic. So, a mudblood is a really nasty term referring to a muggle-born, saying they have dirty blood in comparison to them."

"I don't think that you have filthy blood." Caspian said, looking me dead straight in the eyes. He's got a wife. He's got a kid. Focus, Susan.

I closed my eyes, to regain my regality. "Of course you wouldn't. You know me, and you're not a closed-minded bigot. Pray tell me- what have you been saying your blood status was, if asked?"

"I said that magic runs through my veins." He said with a nonchalant shrug. That explains a lot.

"Then some of the purebloods would call you a blood-traitor, because you don't mind muggles." I said sharply, too much for my own taste.

"What is wrong with you?" Caspian demanded. "You're always pushing me away!"

I hated how weak I was, for crying right then and there. For letting the tears come, and letting them begin to bead in the ducts, despite the battle of wills.

"You have no idea what it's like," I snarled. "No idea what it's like to be forced to move on, from the only man you ever loved, because he moved on, and got married, and had a child. You have no idea what it's like to lose everyone you ever cared about. To have no one left."

I scooped up my radio and bags. "I'm sorry that I push you away, when I have no one left to pull close. I don't want anyone to get close, don't you get that? I don't want anyone else to get hurt by my own grief."

With that, I walked away.