Plans Never Work
Chapter Thirteen: In Which The Power of Friendship Is Totally Original
Recap: During KH DDD, Axel showed up a bit late and Xehanort managed to put his heart into Sora's. However, instead of him taking control of the body however, the other residents of Sora's heart objected and decided they had more right to it than he did. Madness happened, and currently Ven, Vanitas, Roxas, Xion, and Data Ansem are taking over the universe through selling ice-cream while they search for Aqua and Terra with Xehanort despairing in the background. Kairi has recently joined their quest so that she can wake Sora up. Meanwhile, Mickey, Axel, Riku, old Xehanort and Xigbar are looking for them in the Keyblade Graveyard. The Lingering Will is now catching up with Xehanort and Ven is seeing his home for the first time in years.
So what happens when a possessed suit of armor trains for over a decade to take down one man? And the Lingering Will just so happens to run into him? With a keyblade?
Now if you answered sweet, sweet revenge, you would be correct.
The Lingering Will managed a particularly painful looking hit on Xehanort with a shot of an ultima cannon. The old man hit back with a darkness heavy shot-lock that just grazed the armor. It would have been wise to run away, far away from the moving chasms and deadly magics.
A popping sounded. Xehanort tilted his head to face the new threat. His already goblin sized eyes bulged. It hadn't been his armored foe. He tried to turn away from it, but was too late. The Lingering Will slammed into him from the side.
"My spleen!" The old man squeaked. He then covered himself in darkness and tried to strike The Lingering Will's back.
The popping sound grew more intense. The smell floated through the air, masking the dirt and old iron that had stained the battlefield for centuries. Who knew a flaming chakram made such a nice grill? Riku ducked as a small ember of darkness flew towards his head and Mickey had to jump out of the way of a wayward keyblade. Axel calmly repositioned his chakram away from an oncoming dust cloud.
"I think it's about done." Riku smelled the vaguest hint of burning. Axel nodded and the flames disappeared. The popping slowed and ended with an almost sad crackle. Axel produced a convenient red and white stripes bag from his coat. Riku snickered, not believing how prepared the man was. How often had Axel done this? The former nobody quickly transferred their snack and placed the pan in his coat pocket. His chakram disappeared with a snap of his fingers.
Axel grinned and offered Riku the bag of popcorn. He snatched a handful and crunched down on them in time for Xehanort to create yet another mountain. Lifeless keyblades strewn across the battlefield became very real tripping hazards.
Mickey had yet to say a word as he stared at the armor. Riku was beginning to become worried about him. The King seemed to know who the mystery keyblade wielder was. So did Xehabraigbar given his immediate flight to the other side of the world. This guy was scary.
"Ya know, I like this guy a lot better when he's not chasing us." Axel chuckled. He cheered when Xehanort ate dirt yet again.
"Terra." Mickey finally said. Riku almost made a pun due to all the upset earth around them but held off. From the King's tone this was important. "That's his name."
"Isn't that one of those people that not-Roxas kid was looking for?" Axel drawled. "Whoever he is, he's got moves."
"One of your friends?" Riku's voice dipped sympathetically. Mickey looked up at him.
"Well gosh, I'd like to think so. He's Aqua and Ven's best friend after all." Mickey suddenly looked down, "but I haven't exactly had a conversation with the guy."
Riku blinked. Then he crossed his fingers and hoped that after this Terra guy stopped beating Xehanort into old man paste he wouldn't go back to chasing them. To distract himself, he elbowed Axel and snatched another handful of popcorn. This time he offered it to Mickey. The king smiled slowly and nibbled each kernel at a time.
"Can we use him as bait for Rox- for Sora then? Since that one kid was looking for him?"
"Um." Riku raised a silver eyebrow as this Terra slammed Xehanort into the air. The old man was flying. Gravity had ceased to exist as the keyblade wield continued to smack the other higher and higher. "If we had a- ow, that looked brutal- if we had a way to reach him, maybe." Riku whistled, "I didn't know someone could survive that."
"If we could reach him, we wouldn't be staking this rock out on the old geezers hunch." Axel whooped as Terra demonstrated yet another keyblade transformation to a devastating effect.
Riku thought about it, snatching more popcorn. He wished there was more butter on it. It just wasn't unhealthy enough for his taste. He required all of the calories. "Hey, Mickey," he said, his mouth full of corn but his brain full of an epiphany. "Can't you use telepathy?"
"What?" Axel turned his head. Riku repeated himself after he swallowed his popcorn. "No, you're just mentioning this now?" He stared at the mouse.
"It's not really telepathy…" Mickey's face creased in thoughtful folds.
"You appeared to me in Castle Oblivion. I'm not sure what that was, but do you think it could reach Ven?"
Mickey took his time to eat another piece of popcorn. Then he shrugged. Then everyone had to jump out of the way because they were still on a murder ground.
"I can sure try." Mickey nodded. "Yep, I'm sure our bond is strong enough." He excitedly shot Riku a thumbs up. "It may take time but you can count on me."
"Mmm." Riku couldn't help but catch some of the king's optimism. "I'm looking forward to it."
Crunch. "You know, one good thing about this Terra guy?" Axel gargled through a mouthful of popcorn. "I don't think we're gonna need seven keyblades of light to take down ol' Baldy there." His smirk was savage as Xehanort was dunked on once more.
"There's a reason his plan had almost twice as many of him than us."
…
Nope.
The Land of Departure held many good memories for Ven. It also held a few choice memories that could be classified as the worst. It was his home, and until he'd left for the Dwarf Woodlands he hadn't had anywhere else to remember.
In other words, Ven's picture of the world was extremely clear. From the fountains, to the audience chamber, to his room's bookshelf, he could remember all of the colors and details. Yet now? The missing colors were the least of his concerns.
"Ooh, looks like someone remodeled!" Vanitas waggled his eyebrows. "How snazzy."
Ven could have hit him with a megaflare. He ignored the others' confusion. He needed a moment.
Vanitas raised his eyebrows when he felt Ven retreat back into Sora's heart. The vessel adjusted to the loss and Sora's body resembled Ven a little less. "Huh. And I thought black and white were his colors."
"Those are mine, Vanitas." Roxas grumbled. "Ven likes light green, like his shoulder thing."
"Keyblade armor," Vanitas corrected him.
"Where are we?" Kairi whispered. She felt a deep sadness about this place. Even surrounded by the Glom she was suddenly lonely. Had she been here before?
"Land of Departure," Vanitas said just as Xion replied, "Castle Oblivion."
"Is it a Hollow Bastion / Radiant Garden situation here?" Kairi wrapped her arms around herself. She wished island clothes were warmer for once.
"I'm not sure we can be here." Roxas said, his voice was flat. Vanitas shot his unversed puppet a look.
"Why? Cause it's not all happy happy?" Vanitas sneered. He much preferred this incarnation of the place. Maybe he wouldn't have hated Ven so much back in the day if he'd been raised like this. This world now had an emptiness that suited him. It wasn't the pampered castle that let Ven remain soft.
"I can't be here." Roxas grunted. Xion gasped slightly.
"You're right! According to Axel, Roxas passed out when he entered the castle." Her concern didn't warm Vanitas's heart one little bit. "We should leave."
Vanitas crossed his arms. All they had done was manage to raise his curiosity. This was becoming quite the mystery. That being said, who knows what would happen if Roxas passed out. Would it transfer to the rest of them? World domination wasn't exactly possible if he was in a coma. Heck, with Sora already lost in sleep who knows what would happen to him if another layer of sleep was added? Vanitas didn't want the body to start hallucinating or something.
Speaking of Sora stuck asleep, things were rather strange now that Vanitas thought about it. How come the vessel looked like it had in the Sleeping Worlds? He knew they were in the real world, and assumed that The World the Never Was had also been the real world due to Mickey and Axel showing up rather physically. It didn't really matter but it was still odd. Then again, his own existence showed the physical form to be oddly malleable. Vanitas's original body had been made of pure darkness after all, and his emotions could form Unversed. Perhaps until Sora woke up the body just wouldn't reset to its true age.
Xion waved an ear, "Vanitas? Are you ok?" She sounded surprisingly concerned. Them again, he had been quiet for a while. That usually meant he was planning something. Shoot! He had to stall now. He needed to plot of his reputation would be ruined.
He chuckled darkly and took a few steps forward. The body was so much nicer to use when almost everyone had switched to Unversed or forcibly ejected back to the Island in Sora's heart. Even Xehanort had calmed down. Or went back inside Sora's heart? Same with Data Ansem. Strange. He wasn't going to complain. The vessel was now perfectly suited for his own personal overdramatic movements.
He wasn't ready to unveil his ultimate plan, but he could bluff.
"I have an idea." He didn't. "If you really want to leave…"
"I think we should look around." Kairi argued. "There's something here."
"What does Namine say?" Xion cocked her little bunny head.
Kairi shook her head without a word. Vanitas wasn't sure how to interpret that. For a strange moment, Vanitas actually missed Ven. He suddenly felt unbalanced without him. There was no one to deal nicely with the others, no one to excuse his social blunders. No Ven meant no one asking the stupid questions that Vanitas could never admit he needed too.
Vanitas scoffed. He'd gotten soft. Clearly he had to do something.
Roxas let out a roar of frustration.
"Look, if Ven's decided to bail on us anyways, staying here won't help us."
"Sure, just run from a lead." Vanitas mocked, mostly to see Roxas's reaction. As he thought, he didn't take well to being called a coward. Out of the corner of his eye he saw and after image of Namine flicker around Kairi.
"If you want a nap, go ahead," Roxas gritted out. His Flood flinched when Vanitas took a step towards the castle. He took another step. And another. Another.
"Waaaait!" Kairi rushed forward, grabbing onto the Glom's hand. Vanitas recoiled and stared at her in abject horror. He was being touched. Xion hopped closer.
"What." Vanitas let waves of Darkness roll off of him. Kairi's light was undaunted and she still hadn't let go of him.
"Do you like card games? Because that's how that castle works."
"…Card games?" That was worth grabbing his hand? Or Sora's hand? The borrowed hand that he had claimed from over a decade of squatting?
"Namine showed me. In the Castle you forget things, thing like magic or how to fight. Instead, you have to use card games to move forward."
"Sweet." What kind of card game was it? Playing cards like poker, or maybe it was some sort of trading card game? If he could use his deck from the heart he was totally ready to duel. He was right, this Castle Oblivion incarnation was tons better that Land of Freaking Happy Childhoods.
It was then that Vanitas became aware of everyone starring at him with dropped jaws. His bouncing attracted attention. With difficulty he took a deep breathe and straightened his face into a glower. Then he snatched his hand back from Kairi. He stepped backwards.
Everyone else began giggling hysterically. Vanitas felt his checks heat up and huffed.
"Whatever." He said.
Kairi held up a finger indicating she had something to say. After a few false starts she was able to push through the giggles.
"It's ok to enjoy things Vanitas."
"I know. I do enjoy things. Darkness things."
"No, no," she valiantly refused to laugh. "You don't have to pretend to be evil all the time."
"Princess, I am evil. I'm literally pure Darkness." His voice was a mix between an angry cat's his and a leaking boiler pipe. He ignored Roxas scoffing and Xion's excited bouncing.
"Darkness isn't evil." She said. She just went out and said it like no big deal. What an idiot! She had no idea what she was talking about. Stupid Princess of Heart. She sounded genuine, not joking. Why? Why, why, why?!
A new Unversed was trying to grow under his skin. He forced it down. Stupid.
Vanitas smirked instead, taking back his composure by force. Then he laughed.
"You're hilarious. If you guys don't wanna stay here that's fine by me. Let's get out of here."
"Oh, now we can go. Now that you've decided." Roxas rolled his eyes.
"Of course. With Ven gone it's not like anyone else can open a portal." Vanitas raised an eyebrow. "Face it, you've lost your reasonable adult supervision. It's my party now."
Roxas tried to argue.
"What about a Corridor of Darkness?"
"Ha! As if you even ever opened one!"
Xion tapped Vanitas with her ear. It seemed like her sugar high had long faded.
"Don't forget about me. Don't get too excited there."
Kairi looked slightly out of place and then shrugged. She took a glass bottle from her belt.
"Technically I can create a door to the Realm of Light via a message in a bottle." Now everyone stared at Kairi. She shrugged. "I didn't say it made sense."
"Clearly." Vanitas nodded, slightly bewildered. He'd never understand what exactly the Princesses of Heart could actually do.
He opened a Lane. It was easier than usual. It must be since this Realm was on the boarder of Light and Dark. Yet, unlike all those years ago he could now feel an imbalance. Something felt welcoming, homey. It was a caution sign.
"C'mon, lets go." He transformed his keyblade and reabsorbed the Unversed. Roxas and Xion regained their prominence in their body and Vanitas could feel his movements stiffen. Climbing on his Keyblade, he almost felt claustrophobic instead of free. There were just too many people all around him. Where was Ven? Why wasn't he suffering with him? Kairi sneezed inside of the coat.
Suddenly, the portal flared with a sudden wave of Darkness. Roxas screamed in alarm and Kairi grabbed on to the Glom tightly. Vanitas could feel it pulling him in. He tried to teleport back, but Xion had pulled out her Keyblade and they only ended up closer.
They were surrounded now by the hungry Darkness. There would be no escape. Vanitas reached his hand forward. He could have been playing card games right now.
The portal closed and the Darkness faded just as quickly as it appeared. Castle Oblivion again silent. Empty. The sole body still lost and alone.
…
The Lingering Will could not smile as he had no mouth. He could instead slam into an old man and send him flying. It was not a surprise that The Will was winning their bout. He'd beaten him every fight they ever had. Yet this time, Xehanort didn't have a plan to counter him. The old man was completely and utterly stunned.
Hit. Hit. Bounce? Xehanort managed a block. The master teleported and struck The Will was dark fire and a chuckle. The sound rang around his armor. The Will turned slowly, his Keyblade now a whip. He struck out. Xehanort moved sideways. He twisted his wrist and the whip found it's prey this time. He lassoed his enemy closer. Xehanort squawked a spell but it was too late. The WIll's Keyblade was in it's true form once more and he was landing every blow.
As soon as Xehanort had a mere breath of time, he consumed an elixir and sent The Will sprawling back with a landslide. Masses of rusted Keyblades rushed him. He could feel a few grow close to piercing his chest. A metallic sound rang out around the canyon. The Will rolled to his feet and slammed the earth with a critical impact. The Keyblades all fell to the ground, no longer under Xehanort's control.
A thought change his Keyblade into an Ultima Cannon and he fired a shot so powerful that it's light was blinding for anyone with eyes. Not giving Xehanort an inch, he sealed the man's magic. He squeaked when a hand waggle did nothing.
Wind blew through The Will's armor, the groaning sound that was the closet he could produce to a laugh. His keyblade, now a giant fist poised to punch the enemy.
His head rang faintly. Something soft had hit him. He looked down. Popcorn?
The man with red hair had thrown it at him. His posture was cocky, confidence. His smirk was dangerous.
"Yo, Mr. Terra Dude, you take requests?"
"Axel!" The silver haired boy hissed and threw popcorn at the other. The mouse with them watched with no expression. Those two were slightly familiar.
As The Will waited for an elaboration, he punched Xehanort. The old master was forced to resort to physical blocks which took their toll on his creaky joints.
"See," he finally continued, "you're really wiping the floor with him but I think you can make it more entertaining. Try being creative."
Before The Will had become The Will, there were a few instances where creativity was encouraged. In fact, it was a common critique of Aqua's. She always created things, from spells to glass knickknacks. He'd… tried. His specialty just happened to be destruction. And randomly seeing visions of the future. Not arts and crafts.
However, with all the time The Will spent planning his revenge, he did have a few out there ideas stored up.
Fireworks sprang forth from his Keyblade and mines formed a barrier between The Will and Xehanort. Phantom music played as he did a handstand. He exercised muscles that no longer existed as he did push ups. He watched the old man's face contort into fury at the disrespect. Good. A mine blew up in his face.
The Will remembered Light. Light and courage and dancing. It was enough to remind him of a girl who trusted him even after he'd used the Darkness. Light blue sparkles swirled around him and he rushed into Xehanort.
He overwhelmed his enemy with wishes and dreams. Isn't that what a lingering will is? All the wants and desires, all of the being of someone who refuses to let reality stand. He was a fighting spirit, a bond of friendship, a protector.
Xehanort drank another elixir and stormed him with Darkness. He struck fast with no hesitation.
The Will remembered someone faster. Flitting from place to place, always wanting the world to move just as fast. His friend, his little brother who wanted everything now, he would have zipped through the bullets with a smile on his face. Suddenly, The Will followed his memory. His haste allowed him to dash close and preform a flurry of attacks.
His enemy no longer had speed as his advantage. Now even teleporting, the man seemed deathly slow. The wind swept him up and spat him out.
Xehanort was growing tired. He readied an attack. The Darkness gathered, always ready to claim another. The Will heard alarmed voices, the non-combatants panicking over the upcoming explosion.
The Will remembered a shield. Magic, protection, Light… safety wrapped around him when danger was on-coming. There where years of shared experiences, of encouragement, of friendship. The girl who had earned the title of being a Keyblade Master in every sense of the word. He could feel her magic connecting to his and nodded his head in thanks. A shield surround the Darkness and protected everyone from the blast.
He'd caught Xehanort off-guard and teleported in to overwhelm him once more. Time seemed to pause and all that existed was his fight. He sent of a thundaga shot, a firaga burst, a glacier. The Will slung spells as a fast dance.
Was that creative enough? Surely it was original to defeat his enemy with the power of friendship.
Given the red-head's whistle of approval it could only be so.
…
Ven sat on the beach, his knees tucked under his chin. He watched the waves crash against the sand. The ocean rolled in and out, leaving white foam in it's wake. In his hand he gasped a star shaped charm.
"IF YOU DON'T SHUT UP I'M GONNA LOCK YOU IN THE TREEHOUSE!" He turned his head to the arguing old men. They paused their respective monologues.
He listened to the ocean. A shell washed up next to his foot. He snatched it and studied it. Then he threw it at Xehanort's head. The fiend dared open his mouth.
Everything was this pathetic creatures fault. All of his misery came from Xehanort's schemes. The reason for his friends being gone, for his home being destroyed, why he was stuck without his own body was Xehanort's stupid face.
With a rage only possible by one who has lost everything without the possibility to even release it into Darkness, he stood up. He was personally going to ruin Xehanort. Ven smiled slowly, an ugly, vengeful expression. His plans would never work again. Ven waked across the sand with a new mission in life.
He would start by finding a way of waking Sora.
…
The Realm of Darkness lived up to it's name. It was really dark. There was no sun, no stars. On a certain beach one could glimpse Kingdom Hearts as bright of a moon but other than that light was a mystery. How it wasn't just pitch-black defied physics.
The first thing they saw was the grey blue ground beneath them. Kairi blinked as her eyes adjusted. She pulled herself up slowly. Vanitas hissed when she accidentally bumped the Glom. She doubted he was actually hurt and shoved him intentionally this time. He grumbled this time but Kairi could live with that. She rolled sideways and was free of the oversized organization cloak.
The air was surprisingly clear. It smelled like nothing. Riku probably would disagree as he absolutely insisted Darkness had a smell, but to Kairi it was just a lack of sensation. There was no salt in the air, no flower scents, not even a musty smell of most forgotten places.
The only notable sight were the glowing yellow eyes.
"Eep!" Kairi shuffled backwards, scraping her hand. The Glom emerged from their coat. Unversed popped into existence again only for them to jump back as well. Vanitas jumped up into a fighting stance. He tripped on the coat but managed to wobble enough not to eat darkness dirt.
There was a veritable mountain of Heartless. The little yellow eyes of the Shadows dotted the landscape. Neoshadow limbs stuck out in jagged shapes and it was almost impossible to see where one stopped and another started. Darksides towered above, regarding the group impassively.
Nobody noticed a blue dot at the top of the formation.
Vanitas summoned Void Gear and Kairi called out Destiny's Embrace. That definitely got all of the Heartless's attention. They seemed to tense up, an army of stretched rubber bands ready to fly.
Roxas and Xion tried to make their Unversed look threatening.
"Sora's made it out of worse." Kairi muttered under her breath. They could do this. After all, how many keyblades did they possess among them? Now if only they had enough bodies to wield them…
"Kairi, I'm worse." Vanitas waggled his keyblade. "These weaklings won't even be fun."
A solitary Shadow waggled its antenna. Then it looked up and then back at the keyblades. Sheepishly, it melted forward.
"Hey!" A stern feminine voice commanded, "I don't think so."
Vanitas then said a word that made Kairi do a double take. What?! For once Vanitas looked frightened.
From way up above she saw a young woman in blue. A tiara sparkled from the top of her short hair, while black sunglasses obscured her face. A keyblade was gripped loosely with an ease of authority. Her spiked silver boots speared into the Heartless she lounged on.
It was then Kairi realized that the mountain of Heartless wasn't a mountain at all. It was a throne.
Kairi turned to Vanitas for confirmation, for an explanation of what he had said.
"This is Aqua?!"
A/N: So it hasn't been two years this time! Oh wow, was this a difficult chapter to write. Last chapter was such a set up chapter that I had to deliver something awesome. Hopefully The Lingering Will vs Xehanort was everything you hoped for. I don't actually write a lot of fight scenes, so it's definitely an area I could improve on, but I think I'm actually happy with how it turned out- Especially the D-link section. Also... AQUA OH MY GOODNESS I'VE BEEN TRYING TO GET TO YOU FOR LITERAL YEARS! Seriously, I've had Aqua's bit planned for a ridiculous amount of time, it just wasn't possible to get the Glom over there until now. I'm sorry we're not playing card games in Castle Oblivion yet but we'll get there, I promise.
Anyways, THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR STILL FOLLOWING THIS! I APPRECIATE YOU MORE THAN I CAN EXPRESS. I SERIOUSLY AM NOT WORTHY. YOU ROCK!
Onto the reviews! Which I should probably just finally transition to replying using the PM system but just haven't... I think it's just tradition at this point. So yup.
Riku Uzumaki: Yes Ven has officially nope'd at this point. He's done. At the end of his rope. But luckily things will soon get better :)
Anyways, I'm so happy you're still reading this despite my... stellar update schedule. Thank you so much, as always!
GNY-002 Gundam Sadalsuud: Xehanort is just DOOMED at this point. He has absolutely no chance. Well, unless he just so happened to make a plan to cover this entire situation, ice-cream and all... Anyways, yes AQUA IS HERE AND I AM SO HAPPY. I feel almost sorry for her going straight from dealing with the Realm of Darkness for thirteen years to the Glom's insanity. She just doesn't get a break! At least she knows where Ven's body is, so that could solve a problem. I fear the moogles. Thank you for reviewing :D
ultimo-owner: Taxes are terrible. Much more scary than the legions of Darkness. And hey, for the last thirteen years he's had Ven deserves some compensation. Why not a multi-world ice cream company? Thank you so much for your review!
Guest: Aww! Thank you. That's so sweet! You're awesome :)
InfernalFox: I know, utterly shocking lol. You're welcome. The madness is always fun for me to return to as well. Thanks so much for reviewing :)
Revamped Persona: As much as I'm worried about writing a card game... YES. Chain of Memories style combat is incoming. As for Vanitas, he is actually fond of card games, as is Ven. Everyone else tho? Oooh they're not gonna have fun. Thank you for reviewing!
Spyrkle10: Ven has certainly reached his limit. He's done. And Vanitas is smugness built on a smugger foundation covering a basement that is totally filled with smugness- not any squishy emotions eww XD
Thank you so much for taking the time to review :D
Yuu: You feel old? I feel old. So old. Like I started this in 2012. I was like 15. I'm still writing this. Like... what?! Anyways, thank you so much for reviewing XD
MugetsuPipefox: Ooh, yay! I'd glad to make you happy. I'm determined to write this fic to the end... whatever year that may be 0_o... But "The Lingering Will lingered still" was also one of my favorite lines. Sometimes I just can't help myself from having fun with my language. Luckily for the madness that is Plans Never Work, it actually works lol. But yes, PLOT. I find it hilarious that when I first started this it was just off of a murky what if idea that has since mutated into this insane plot. It's definitely changed from just a simple comedic setup that was the first few chapters XD
Thank you so much for continuing to follow this! You absolutely rock :D
NatNicole: I'm glad I could share my strange brand of humor. Thank you!
Superwin: Eraquas would be waaaaaay out of his depth XD. He's too tired to put up with all this insanity. And that's a good question! Knowing the logic of this fic, ice-cream would be involved. Thank you for reviewing!
And yes, just I cannot stress enough just how AMAZING you all are. Last time I updated I was worried that it'd been so long that it had been forgotten about but you proved me wrong. The support for this story is nothing short of miraculous and I am so happy that I can share this insane adventure with you!
Next Time: So the Glom is holding Void Gear in front of Aqua. I'm sure this will go swell.