Chapter 14: Constellations

'I don't think I've told her that I loved her. Turning back to Mabel, I now catch with her gaze, her seeing in my eyes the answer to her question. Since I didn't tell her before now, I hope I get the chance and hopefully it's not too late. I'm her life line as she is mine and I won't be able to go without her.'

~(Pacifica's P.O.V.)~

He took it away. It's temporary, but he took my pain away. The pain I created to numb not just my body, but also my mind, is gone. He took it away, despite how much I hate him for everything that has happened, he took it all away. I've been brought back to the cruel reality I tried so hard to hide from. I'm back here, with him, no matter how much I don't want to be. He threw question after question to me about why I do this to myself, why I find comfort in the razor's edge, why I tend to run to that comfort whenever I am hurting or even crying. The only answer to that question is: Because it's the only thing that never let me down. It hasn't now and it never will.

When the abuse began with my parents, numerous things ran through my mind from running away to taking my own life, but then I found a medium that would help get me through my daily suffering, that medium being, the comforting feel of the cold razor against my wrist. When those questions just kept coming, I couldn't bear to look him in the eye, I just couldn't. Just hearing his voice sends my mind reeling back to everything that led up to this point. The gun shot, threatening Dipper, and even mercilessly going on a killing spree at my mansion. He was very proud of himself for that! That's what I'm the most disturbed about. He smiled and admitted to me the delight he got out of killing someone and the worst part is, he has yet to tell me the whereabouts about my Dipper. I guess he feels that I have no right to know about the love of my life. Why not? I love Dipper and could never love Ryan! I would have taken the bullet for Dipper if it meant being away from him for the rest of my life! I know our past together hasn't been the best, but I'll do anything to make up for it. Anything!

Currently, I'm sitting across the table from the monster that abducted me and is holding me hostage as I pick at the second layer of bandages that he placed on my wrist to stop the bleeding. Some of the blood that was pouring out of my wrist when he began wrapping it has completely stained the first layer and is starting to stain the second layer. I can't seem to take my eyes off of the crimson spots already made as I'm pretty sure more is trying to surface under this layer of bandages I'm picking at.

The plate of steak and potatoes, my favorite dish, is sitting in front of me going cold every second I don't stick it with my fork or even shove it into my mouth. No telling what he did to this while I was upstairs and wrapping myself with comfort. I've given it numerous glances while at the same time, catching Ryan glance over at me numerous times while shoving his portion down his throat. Just disgusting! Turning my gaze to my dish, I notice that a crater has formed on top my mound of mashed potatoes, replacing the dome it held when the dish was freshly served. No doubt since the heat of the use to be warm mound has now escaped from it. I once knew what warmth felt like, despite how short lived it was. Even my steak is looking a little dry since the A-1 sauce has thickened on top of the once living creature that was helplessly slaughtered for the meat that is now sitting on my plate in front of me. When I really think about how that animal died for the sake of a meat lover's need for their meat, I imagine myself in that animal's place, being slaughtered helplessly and endlessly, catching a glimpse of that person before your world turns dark forever. When it comes to my family, that's exactly how I felt and now even with Ryan, nothing has changed.

"This steak is delicious." Ryan now speaks, breaking the comforting silence between us. It's just like him to ruin such a perfect thing. "You should really taste it. I added a little something extra in there just for you."

Turning from my bandage, my tired and sore eyes now catch with his gaze. There is no way I am putting what he "cooked" into my mouth. That little something extra could be anything from the drug he used to sedate me or something much worse this time. There's no telling with him.

"And don't worry, the little something extra a special seasoning that I know you like." Ryan continues, a small smile now forming on his face. I quickly turn my vision back to my bandage and continue picking at it. I have nothing to say to him. Nothing that would be appropriate to the situation anyway. "It would really make me happy to know you like my cooking since I'll be doing this for you and I for a very long time."

I feel my teeth clench together and the muscles in my body tense up from hearing him say you and I for a very long time. If he thinks this is forever, he has another thing coming! Turning my angered gaze back to him, a tiny yet audible snarl escapes my lips.

"What did you do to Dipper?" I ask him, seeing his happy expression change upon hearing Dipper's name leave my mouth.

"Pacifica, please don't start this." Ryan replies as he sighs. "Do not ruin a good moment by bringing him up. He's not a blip on the radar to me."

"I want to know Ryan!" I snap to him as I jump to my feet. "Did you kill him or not?!"

"I refuse to go through this with you Pacifica, now let it go!" Ryan sternly replies to me. "I made you dinner! Now sit down and eat it! Be appreciative that I did that much for you!"

That's it! I have had it with him not answering me about the love of my life! Dipper may not be a blip on his radar, but he is all that is in my sights!

"Why is it so hard for you to answer me about him?!" I continue asking. He is making this harder than it needs to be!

"Do you really want to know what I did?" Ryan asks as he jumps out of his seat and approaches me, our faces just inches from each other. I just want to tear off his nose with my teeth! "Since you want to know so badly the fate of your little boyfriend, fine I'll tell you! I shot him where it hurts and made sure that he would never find you! I caught a glance at his body before leaving with you! He is never coming to find you, he will never see you again, and I made sure that he would never see the light of day EVER again! Now is that what you wanted to know? Good! Now you know and we can stop talking about it!"

As much as I tried to hold my own and stand my ground while Ryan practically read me the riot act, a felt my heart sink with each word that he spoke about the fate of Dipper. I want to believe everything that he said, but deep down, something is telling me that Dipper is indeed alive and is looking for me. I know Dipper would never just give up, not the Dipper I know.

"Now sit down and eat your dinner before it gets too cold!" Ryan demands. "You could at least appreciate me and the little bit I'm doing for you right now! It is unbelievable how spoiled you really are!"

Turning from his hardened gaze, I turn my vision back to my bandaged wrist as I sit back down with the feeling of a ball and chain attached my right ankle. He might as well attach one to me considering he plans to keep me here forever! Having sat back down, I turned my back to the table, and to him. I just can't take my eyes off of my bandaged wrist. At least it is something pleasant to look at!

"Pacifica, I'm only going to ask you once more, very nicely." Ryan speaks to me as calmly as he can or is trying. I can feel his vision boring a hole into the back of my head as he does so. He has a lot of layers of hair to get passed first. "Please eat your dinner. I made it special for you because I know how much you love steak and potatoes, especially the imported kind. I know you are use to the best and that's what I'm trying to provide for you, but you're not giving me the chance to do that for you."

I don't respond to him in any way, shape or fashion and keep my back turned to him. Feeling tears rushing to the surface of my eyes, I quickly sniff them back so not to give that monster anymore satisfaction than he's already gotten from me.

"Pacifica…Please." I hear it in his voice the harsh tone he is trying not to use with me, but the wall he is hiding it behind is falling apart and quickly. "Just….eat!"

"Just….just…..answer me this." I slowly speak while doing my best to keep the cracking of my voice from becoming evident from the overwhelming sadness that is coming over me. "Why…..why did you hurt Dipper?"

From that question, an eerie silence falls on the room, a silence that is giving me an unsettling feeling in the pit of my stomach. My empty and hallow stomach. An un-humanly screech now rips through the deadening silence along with the sound of a plate shattering not too far behind me, which has made me flinch at the sound. The sound of that shattering plate is bringing back some very horrible memories, those I have tried my hardest to forget about. The first time that I heard and witnessed glass breaking is when my mother broke my prized butterfly figurine from the Little Miss contest that she feels I shouldn't have entered when I was twelve. She says those contests are for poor and pathetic girls and not girls of my status. The second time was on my thirteenth birthday when that witch destroyed the majestic purple vase one of my friends gave me as a gift because she and my father didn't choose to acknowledge that day. Both of those items were very special to me and to see them destroyed while she showed no remorse in doing so was devastating! Glass was shattered everywhere, my tears stained the pieces of glass that I held in my hands, and the blood from the cuts on my hands while holding the remains of those items that truly brought me happiness to my black hole of an existence only reminded me of how horrible my existence was. I was just reminded, in a matter of seconds, of how horrible my life really is!

"I have done everything to be patient with you!" Ryan yells. I close my eyes as the tears begin flooding from them and rapidly running down my cheeks. "I don't know how much more of your snotty and bratty behavior I can take! Maybe your mother was right to try and slap some sense into you and say you were a mistake."

That did it! That DID it! That is what broke the dam holding back my frustration, anger, and disgust towards him! He goes out of his way to only "pretend" to care about me, only to turn and agree with the one person who has made my life a living hell for fourteen years?

Whipping around to him, I narrow my gaze at him despite the tears clouding my vision.

"How dare you agree with my mother?!" I scream, a full blown cry now surfacing. "You say you care about and love me, but you turn and agree with what that witch has done to me for the past fourteen years?! You are no better than she is! Her and my entire family!"

Wiping tears from my eyes, I notice Ryan's gaze quickly soften as he steers it away from me. After taking the biggest dig at me, he can't stand to look me in the eyes?! Coward!

"Pacifica, I…..I didn't mean that ok?" Ryan quietly speaks, now turning back to me. "I didn't mean what I said and shouldn't have said it. Your mother is the last person I would ever agree with about anything when it comes to hurting you. I'm sorry, I really am. I just got really frustrated."

With my tear stained vision still on Ryan, I notice him take a step towards me while stretching out his arms with me taking two steps back. The last thing I would ever do is let him touch me, not after what he just said to me! Noticing my resistance, he then turns and leaves the kitchen, leaving me to my thoughts. With him gone, I sit back down in the chair and begin trying to calm myself down. With Ryan gone, that'll be much easier to do than with him in the same area as me. Turning back to my bandaged wrist, I immediately notice that my bandages are gone. They must have loosened and fell off during the commotion. I did feel a slight draft on my wrist while yelling at him, but thanks to how upset Ryan made me, I didn't take the time to notice that my bandages loosened and fell away. Now that they are gone, I can get a better look at my wrist, at how well the cuts that were recently made, clotted.

Now looking closely at my new cuts, I notice that they are oddly clotted, especially the cut just near the palm of my hand. It has clotted in the form of the…..constellation big dipper! The big 'Dipper', my Dipper's birthmark! This has got to be a sign, a sign telling me that Ryan is lying about badly injuring my Dipper. Seeing how my cuts are clotted is telling me that Dipper isn't dead and if I know him, he is going through great lengths to find me now. With this sign, I'm going to make sure that I'm not stuck here with Ryan forever, I don't care what his plans are!

Continuing to stare at my wrist, I feel a small smile form across my lips. This is a good sign and one that has moved me to tears, tears of happiness. Placing my right wrist carefully in the palm of my left hand, I hug my wrist to my chest and close my eyes as tears escape from them.

"I miss you too Dipper." I whisper to myself. "I really do."

~(Dipper's P.O.V.)~

This guy is harder to track down than any monster that Mabel and I have encountered in the past. We've checked every junk yard in the city within the past hour and have come up empty every time. Normally we would have run into him randomly while walking about town, but today, we can't seem to find him. Today of all days!

We are now headed for the dump at the edge of town hoping all the while we stumble across McGucket. After leaving the lake to get some information from his son, his son said that we will most likely run into him at the edge of the city. Since the two don't really communicate, the son doesn't try talking to or keeping up with his father. Speaking of communicating and while I'm not very fond of him, I can actually say I am happy that Robbie is coming along to help me rescue Pacifica. He's been a great help throughout this ordeal and admittedly, I wouldn't have gotten very far without him. For once, I can say and actually love someone and not have him tease me for it! I guess as long as it's not Wendy, he will actually give me a hand. Not surprising.

"How much further Dipper?" Mabel asks me. From the sound of her voice, she's tired from all the walking we've been doing. Looking over at her, I now notice just how tired she is. I know we've been walking for over an hour now and even my feet are starting to hurt a bit. While Robbie did suggest we take his van to find him, I wanted to walk instead because if we drove, there would have been a great chance that we would have missed McGucket entirely by the way Robbie speeds around town. So by walking, we would have a better chance of finding him, plus plan how we are going to get Pacifica back after getting the invention I need to find her. The last part we are still working on, but I didn't think tracking down McGucket would take this long.

"It shouldn't be too much longer Mabel." I reply to her. At least I'm hoping it's not going to be much longer.

"Doesn't the old guy normally hang out in dumpsters or something?" Robbie asks with a snicker. "One of my band mates said he caught him hanging out in the town dumpster one night when leaving a gig."

"He's a human being Robbie, not an animal!" Wendy sternly scolds him.

With McGucket, sometimes it's honestly hard to tell. Well all now reach the end of the city junk yard with Mabel voicing her relief that we finally made it. I don't want to cheer just yet as he may not even appear here, but here's hoping.

"Hello! Old Man McGucket!" I call out to crazy junk yard dweller, hoping that I get an answer from him. "Are you here?"

Having called out to the older man, I only hear my voice echoing through the hallow area, it being the only voice that we hear.

"Step aside junior." Robbie says, now stepping ahead of me at the entrance of the junk yard. "With that voice of yours, I know he didn't hear you. Hey weird old dude! If you're in here, says show yourself!"

"Robbie, lay off him!" Wendy scolds Robbie once more.

"Don't worry babe." Robbie replies to her. "I wasn't teasing him if that's what you're thinking."

Well considering I'm only twelve, I have to work with what I have, but at least my voice didn't crack this time.

With Robbie having shouted out to him, the sound of a banjo begins playing to the left of us along with some semi-hysterical laughter added in, the laughter that makes me cringe each time I hear it. Mabel says that his laughs sounds like an old cartoon character. I usually just agree with whatever she says since arguing would do no good. The banjo and laughter continues with Mabel now turning to me with a wide brace filled smile plastered to her face. I gain a smile of my own now knowing that the search is over. The banjo and laughter now come to a halt with the old man now jumping down in front of us with Mabel stepping behind me.

"Well howdy folks!" McGucket happily greets to us, my catching a slight whiff of his breath in the process. And I thought Mabel's morning breath was bad. "What can I do you folks for?"

"We need your help McGucket." I speak up. "We need to rescue someone, but the only problem is, we don't know where they are. The only way to find them is by tracking their cell phone signal. Do you have an invention for that?"

"I'm sure I diddly do!" McGucket answers in his normal hysterical manner. "Come on in folks. I have much to show ya!"

We all now enter the junk yard as the weird old man runs ahead of us inside. As we walk further in, I notice a lot of the spare junk lying around the place such as car engines, batteries, and even a tire or two. I even noticed a few chickens walking around. Continuing to follow McGucket, we are all lead to an old beetle automobile with the hood lifted and with a lot of wires running inside the car to I believe the engine. Wait, is a junk car supposed to have that much electricity running to it?

"So young feller, you said you needed a tracking thingajigger am I right?" MucGucket asks as he rummages through the area of the car where the engine is.

"Yea, that's right." I reply. "You see, my g-girlfriend has been kidnapped by some maniac and he was able to track her cell phone signal to where we were when he grabbed her. So I need to track her cell signal to where she is now so I can get her back."

"Well then, I think I have just what you need." McGucket happily replies as he turns to us with some type of device with television rabbit ears sitting atop it. "This is a little something I whipped up one night when trying to track down the Gobblewonker at Lake Gravity Falls! I was able to track him down cause the feller ate the head of my the first shamebot I constructed and he nearly took off me right leg, but thanks to this little thing, I was able to find him!"

"Dipper! Did you hear that?!" Mabel practically yells, her happiness evident. Whenever she gets like this, I just listen to her until her steam runs out. "The Gobblewonker is real! Do you think it's too late for the monster photo contest? I can win my human sized hamster ball after all! And I'm human sized so I'll fit!"

"Beyond late Mabel, beyond late." I reply, my vision shifted to her. I now shift it back to McGucket as I take the device from him. "So you are certain it works?"

"It diddly does or my name isn't McGucket, town co-ok!" McGucket replies as he begins his silly dance. "That thing can track anything from dinosaurs to UFO's! So would you folks like to see my plans to rebuild my shame bot?"

"No, that's ok." I politely reply. Looking down at the device, I press the center button, unsure of how the thing works or if it will work having touched that button. To my surprise, the device turns on with the green screen now displaying a bunch of dots with one dot in particular blinking out of control. The one blinking out of control is very interesting.

"That dot is blinking all crazy." Mabel points out. "What does that mean McGucket?"

"When a dot blinks that fast, the machine picked up on something with a crazy signal." McGucket answers Mabel. "Only devices with a chip in them will give off a signal that crazy."

"And Ryan said he had a tracking chip placed in Pacifica's phone after the upgrade two years ago!" HA! I got him now! "That's how he was able to find her and that's exactly how we are going to find her! That dot blinking on this screen is Pacifica!"

"Now we have what we need to find Pacifica and take down the lunatic that kidnapped her!" Robbie cheers. "If my guitar case was hard enough to knock out Johnathon, Ryan doesn't stand a chance!"

I finally have what I need to find Pacifica, my Pacifica! Look out Ryan because I'm coming for you and when I do, I'm officially taking back what's mine!

I sincerely want to apologize if the last part of this chapter was bad. Writer's haze attacked me just when I was in a writing frenzy, but never the less, here you guys are and I hope you enjoyed it! :)

Review Please!