Oh, my, goodness. I need Book 7, I mean, really need. I mean, hello SNAPE! I'm still balancing the 'is he, isn't he?' thing. Though got to say, this fic's definitely going AU and continuing! I will be re-aligning this story to fit details revealed (i.e. goodbye pretty Potion mistress, hello Slughorn and Half-Blood Prince).
Also, this prank was devised pre-HBP, I swear. I was inspired by cartoons…
GO READ HALF-BLOOD PRINCE! SHOO! WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN FANFICTION IF YOU HAVEN'T YET!
Disclaimer: oh, come on. The sixth book just came out! Do you really think I'd be writing this if I was the author?
Hold Me While I'm Here-
Chapter 14: What goes around…
By detention the next morning, Sirius was still clueless as to how he'd managed to get on both Harry and Remus' bad side. Not that it was obvious, oh no – Harry'd disappeared for most of the day, muttering something about homework and letters to his friends. It was hard for Sirius to believe he had any homework though, considering how much time he devoted to studying. Not even Peter or Remus devoted that much time to them, though Peter probably needed to. In fact, he was starting to think it was just an excuse to be away from them. Meanwhile, Remus was exuding his prefect 'You've done something and I disapprove' vibe, though he didn't say a word.
James and Peter picked up on it too, with the result that James became even more critical of Sirius' sleep potion scheme. He hadn't been pleased that Sirius hadn't told him ahead of time in the first place, and he thought Sirius had crossed a line, as he tended to when he acted on his own.
Sirius scowled. What line? He was just doing what was necessary.
The strangest thing was he still wasn't convinced that either Harry or Remus knew about the potion. Remus would've definitely confronted him and he was fairly sure Harry would've too. Why if someone had done it to him, he probably would've thrashed the person before even trying to find out why. All in all, their reactions seemed far too sedate.
So that just left the question, what else had ticked them off?
Needless to say, with such things weighing on all's minds, the walk to Hagrid's Hut was rather quiet. It was a little hurried too; Remus had insisted they wait for Harry, who'd been missing. When he'd shown up five minutes later, the only excuse he'd given was that he'd stopped by the kitchens for a quick bite in case their detention ran long. Which, in Sirius' mind, was completely unfair, especially considering Harry'd snagged an apple for Remus, studiously ignoring Sirius' own rumbling stomach.
"So Flighty, I don't think you've actually meet Hagrid before." James' voice pierced Sirius' brooding.
Harry started slightly, catching himself from answering an automatic 'of course I have.' "Uh, no."
"You've probably seen him at the High Table," James went on.
"You couldn't miss him," Sirius muttered. Considering Hagrid's size, missing him would've been quite a feat. Peter sniggered, while Remus grinned a little.
"He does have a way of standing out," the former prefect said mildly.
"The point is," James forged on, ignoring their commentary. This was important – seeing Harry's reaction to Hagrid could be a good predictor to how he'd react to learning about Remus, not that he planned on actually telling him Hagrid was half-giant. The only reason he and the rest knew was because Hagrid felt special sympathy for Remus and had expressed such. "Hagrid can be a bit, overwhelming. But he's really great when you get to know him."
Future father and son locked eyes, something in Harry warming at the obvious regard James held for one of his closest wizard friends. Harry smiled.
"I'll keep that in mind."
And then there was no more time for warning, they were before Hagrid's Hut. Hagrid opened at the first knock, with a grin that was far too cheery for so early in the morning.
"Mornin' boys!" Hagrid boomed cheerfully, as always filling the doorway expansively and towering over the group. "Was wonderin' how long it take yeh to get a detention with me. Actually thought it' be sooner." He winked and then clapped a meaty hand on Sirius' shoulder, the closest one to him, who swayed before catching his balance.
"Hello Hagrid," James and Remus chimed, Peter giving a smile edged with trepidation and muttering an indistinct greeting. It was Harry however, who garnered Hagrid's attention.
"Ah, an' this must be Harry, right? Yer newest par'ner in crime?" He stuck out a hand and enthusiastically shook with Harry, whose teeth rattled despite his attempts to moderate Hagrid's force.
"Yeah, I'm Harry. Harry Patterson," he responded. "And should detentions with you be something I should be expecting?" he asked wryly, though honestly he didn't mind a bit.
"If yeh hang out with this lot? Yeah. Me or Filch," Hagrid shrugged. "'Fraid Filch specially doesn' like yer lot and he jumps to give yeh yer detention." He snorted. "Says 'm too soft."
"But on the other hand, you're our favorite gameskeeper!" James said brightly. Hagrid seemed to redden at this compliment, though it was hard to tell behind his wild beard.
"Tosh," he waved dismissively. "Well, there's a cage to be cleaned and yeh boys better hurry if yeh want to make breakfast."
The Marauders followed his lumbering gait to the cage in question. "I bin tryin' to convince Kettleburn he needed a real one to teach on fo'ever. An' finally did it even if it's jus' on loan, stubborn man!" He shot a triumphant look at the students trailing him, but one look at the actual creature in question had driven all thoughts of Hagrid out of their minds.
It was lying down at the moment, its full maned head settled deceptively peaceful on its clawed paws. It seemed larger than a regular lion, not that any of them had actually seen a normal lion up close. Of course, their eyes were then drawn to what exactly distinguished the manticore from its normal brethren. Three snakes lay coiled at the place a fur-tipped tail should be, though at the boys' approach one had scented the air with its tongue and risen up, eying them suspiciously though silently.
"Isn' heh cute?"
Harry made a choking noise, his mind flashing through all the creatures Hagrid had called 'cute' over the years. "Cute like a three-headed dog," he announced brightly before the others could comment. He got odd looks from the Marauders, but Hagrid lit up.
"Yeh seen one?"
"Er, once or twice," he hedged, before quickly going on. "Uh, how are we supposed to clean his cage with him in there?"
"Oh, I'm gonna take 'im out and chain him up," Hagrid said blithely, patting the thick chains draped over his shoulder. Peter's eyes widened.
"You're letting it out?" he squeaked. "With us here?"
"Oh, it'll be fine," Hagrid brushed off the boy's concern easily. "I can take care of 'im." Peter didn't look the slightest bit relieved, and even Sirius looked a little leery. James and Remus shared a simple grim look of amusement. Harry, having had the chance to see the half-giant take nearly a dozen stunners and still escape, not to mention wrestle with his fullblood giant brother, merely nodded.
Needless to say, the drama of the following few minutes as Hagrid entering the cage, bringing down the manticore who'd sprung to life as soon as Hagrid had intruded, and then dragging it out, was watched with extremely rapt attention.
"'Kay boys, the cage's all yehs!" He said gaily, before beginning the complicated process of weaving the chains into a knot around a post right between their current position and the cage – a deeply rooted post the Marauders feverishly hoped. James, ever the leader, nodded in agreement and was the first to move. The others followed, each one eying the snarling manticore with no small amount of apprehension. The manticore's head was occupied with trying, unsuccessfully, to bite Hagrid, but his tails were another matter. All three fixed their eyes on the passing boys and hissed ominously. And to Harry's chagrin, completely understandably…
"One sssstep closssser…"
"My fangssss itch…"
"Horrible humanssss…"
To Harry's horror, Remus paused and leaned a bit to examine the snakes a bit closer. After all, he'd never seen a manticore before and he had quite a few questions, particularly how the snakes existed with the lion. Was it some kind of parasitic relationship? The second snake coiled up in itself and its hiss intensified.
"Come werewolf and feel my poisssson…"
Harry grabbed Remus' arm and quickly pushed him forward. "You shouldn't get so close," he said quickly. "You never know when a snake's just readying to attack." Well, unless you were him. Remus looked at him a little strangely, but shrugged it off.
The rest of the detention went without a hitch, finishing quickly between the five of them though it was rather gross. But Harry couldn't help the chilly feeling in his chest…
Damn snakes.
They bid Hagrid a fond farewell and trudged back to the castle.
"Well that didn't take long at all," Remus commented.
Sirius put a hand to his heart. "Do my ears deceive me? Or did you honestly want a longer detention?" he announced dramatically. The manual labor apparently hadn't dampened his spirits at all, if anything they'd improved it.
"Well, we do have to do it every morning for the rest of the week," Peter reminded them.
"Whatever," Sirius said dismissively. "Besides if Hagrid lets us out at this time all the time, we'll never miss breakfast!" Obviously this pleased the black haired boy immensely.
Harry smiled at his enthusiasm. "Yes, I'd rather not miss breakfast."
Sirius gave him a somewhat sour look. "Says the boy who's already stopped in the kitchens," he muttered. He received an elbow in the ribs from James for that. But Harry didn't respond and Remus' eyes narrowed.
"Yes, I think I don't either," he murmured.
Despite Remus' watchfulness though, breakfast proceeded uneventfully. All Harry did out of the ordinary was attach letters for his friends to his loaner owl from the school. (Remus wasn't sure why he didn't use his own owl, but Harry had just muttered something about school regulations and complicated travel.) Harry didn't seem particularly interested in anything the others ate though, as Remus had been anticipating. He frowned at the tart he held in his hand, trying to suppress the feeling of disappointment he could feel swelling. Maybe he'd been wrong…
"What's up with you Moony?" Sirius' voice made Remus jump. He blinked only to realize that Sirius and then the rest were looking at him curiously.
"Huh?" he responded intelligently.
"You've been staring at that tart for five minutes," James said helpfully.
"And you're usually starving after," Sirius made an expansive motion, "you get sick." Peter, predictably, looked a little puzzled at the remark, before it registered and he nodded in agreement. James spared a sideways glance at Harry, but the blond merely looked at Remus with mild concern.
"Uh, the smell from this morning's just put me off a bit," the werewolf said evasively. That wasn't a real lie – the smell had been terrible, especially to his still full moon honed senses. Sirius nodded and let his gaze survey the table idly, before snagging on a bowl that'd just appeared. He blinked, before picking it up.
"What's that, Padfoot?" James asked curiously, finishing off his orange juice.
"Dunno," he picked up a clear wrapped piece and sniffed it, unconsciously reverting to canine behavior. Harry's mouth fought to turn up. "Think it's some kind of mint."
"Like an after-breakfast mint?" James was intrigued and took one himself.
"Look, every table's got one," Peter piped up, beady eyes skittering across the room. And so it was, on each table had appeared a bowl with a few candies, the Slytherins examining theirs with great suspicion.
Up at the High Table, Professor McGonagall stiffened and turned suspicious eyes towards the Marauders. But Dumbledore held out a hand, pointing out Sirius and James' behavior and she subsided, not even registering the twinkle lighting the Headmaster's eyes.
"Guess the teachers are givin' us a treat," Sirius commented idly, before quickly unwrapping the mint and popping it into his mouth, conveniently forgetting the last time a very similar explanation had been given – and why it had been wrong. James shrugged and followed suit.
"Want one Flighty, Moony?" he offered, sucking on the candy. Harry shook his head.
"Not much of a mint person myself." Remus resisted the urge to smirk and refused as well.
"Well Wormtail, guess it's yours." James nudged the bowl towards the last Marauder and Peter was halfway extended towards the last candy in the bowl when it happened.
Sirius cocked his head. "Did the owls come back?" he said aloud, stopping suddenly as he realized his voice was two pitches higher than normal. Remus started a very bizarre mixture of choking and laughing, as Peter froze, his eyes becoming very large. "Prongs!" Sirius, well, squawked, his hands flying to his throat.
James though, was completely oblivious, his attention focused on something a little higher than Sirius' mouth. He was staring open mouthed at the three little yellow birdies orbiting Sirius' head. It took him a long minute to realize the flapping sound he was hearing was too loud to be from only Sirius' birds. He looked up and cringed. Sure enough, three yellow birds were making circuits. "I've got birdies," he murmured rather light-headed, in the same high pitch as Sirius.
Harry lost it and Remus was a goner after that. Tears began to stream down their faces as Sirius began a vicious cycle of yelling and then stopping at the sound of his voice. Even when he finally crossed his arms and just started sulking, the laughter went on.
Needless to say, no one else dared to touch the mints after that – save for the unfortunate few who'd consumed them before noticing the consequence. Despite their friends' teasing, it turned out to be rather nice – the girls thought the birds were adorable and they only infrequently chirped.
The Slytherins weren't so lucky. The few that had consumed the mints of their number, ended up having miniature anvils swing round their heads – anvils that were indeed real as one particularly thick Slytherin had the misfortune to figure out when he tried to bat them away. Snape sneered at them all.
Idiots.
The birdies and anvils persisted into the day of classes, much to Sirius, James, and the Slytherins' mortification. Countercharms and spells were completely ineffective, even those performed by teachers, much to Professor Flitwick's consternation and McGonagall's embarrassment. Seeing as Sirius and James themselves had been caught in the prank, she could not very well blame them, but Harry was very aware of the pointed looks she gave him during Transfiguration that morning.
Then, to her great annoyance, she ended up having to dismiss both James and Sirius from class – as the charm unlocked by the mint began to dissipate, the birds began to bump into each other resulting in a mess of feathers and irritated squawks. This was merely compounded by the fact the two best friends, taking consolation from their shared plight, had sat next to each other.
By the time Harry, Remus, and Peter joined the two outside of class, the birds were finally flickering out of existence – a motley bundle of plucked skin and a few bedraggled feathers. Sirius was nursing one of his fingers.
"Blighters have sharp claws," he muttered, his voice still abnormally high, as Remus began to snicker all over again. James threw him an empathetic look, but spoke to Harry.
"So how'd you pull it off Flighty?"
Harry's face loosened, seeing James' relaxed grin had no traces of anger. Even with Remus' assurances, he'd wondered… "My friend Ron has twin older brothers, biggest pranksters I ever met," he paused, "well, 'til you. They're actually starting a joke shop and they let me have a few of their original, er, products to try out."
Sirius' mood did a complete 180. "That's brilliant!" He jumped up and abruptly threw a companionly arm around Harry's shoulder. "Don't happen to have any more of their stuff, do you?" he asked in an undertone.
James punched him in the shoulder and rolled his eyes. "Always scheming Padfoot," he tisked. "That's what got us into this mess." Sirius' eyes flew to James. "We tried to invade Harry's privacy, remember?" His eyes shot lasers into Sirius, well knowing what the other's mind had jumped to instead.
Sirius nodded jerkily and blinked when Harry pushed his arm off, though not roughly. "Forget about it," he said dismissively, before grinning and lightly bumping Sirius' last bird. It flickered out at the touch. "Let's just say we're even."
Sirius' lips turned into an unwilling smirk and he unceremoniously reached and ruffled Harry's hair, noting in the back of his mind that he'd never thought he'd see hair as messy as his best mate's. "I think I like the way you think Flighty."
This time Remus rolled his eyes, starting to end for their next class – Potions. "That's because it's exactly what you would've done."
James snorted in agreement and moved to the other side of Harry as they all started on their way.
"By the way, did you know the birds would start crashing into each other?"
Harry shook his head. "No, but they're still pretty much prototypes," he added. "Maybe Fred and George'll be able to work out that bug later."
"Do you think the anvils had the same thing happen?"
The question was so innocent, so careless it took a minute to sink in to Harry and Sirius' minds.
Harry stopped short as Sirius exploded in laughter.
"Oops."
Okay, I know I promised Slytherin interaction for quite a while, but I really, really wanted to keep my two week promise, so voila.
GO READ HALF-BLOOD PRINCE! SHOO! WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN FANFICTION IF YOU HAVEN'T YET!