Important: I know most of you have problems with Alex putting up with Mike, but I have my reasons. They will be clear in this chapter.
Warning: yeah, long again, around 2400 words
Disclaimer: don't own WOWP or the characters (except Mike) or the songs I have used in the beginning and end.
Chapter 13: why do we keep saying goodbyes?
"I don't know, what he does to make you cry,
I'll be there to make you smile.
I don't have a fancy car, to get to you
I'd walk a thousand miles….
But my love is all I have to give,
Without you I don't think I can live,
I wish I could give the world to you,
But love is all I have to give
Without you I don't think I can live.
I wish I could give the world to you!
But love is all I have to give…"
-All I have to give, Backstreet boys
////
The thoughts and the images flashes in his mind for an entire month- an entire mouth during which Alex's stupidity made him groan in frustration and tug his hair in anger. Finally, he decided to call her up and reason with her.
"Please Alex, please come back, you're making a huge mistake." He pleaded as soon as she answered his call.
"Justin, I can't… you know I can't. The stakes are just too high…" she rejected again.
"I don't get it!" Justin said, rubbing his temples in complete frustration, "what the heck are you scared of? He can't prove anything! We have never had… umm…-your fears are totally irrational Alex! There's no reason or logic to justify what you are doing!"
"Yes there is!" she said slowly, sighing with frustration. "I know he can't prove anything now, but what happens after that? If I break up from him, I'd end up with you."
Justin stared blankly at the ceiling. "How does breaking up with him mean ending up with me?" he asked in confusion and annoyance.
"Because, when I break up with him I'll be all alone. I'd need someone, and I'd end up going to you." She reasoned.
Justin stared blankly at the ceiling again. From where did the girl get such logic? How did her brain work? Did she ever use her brain? Did she even have a brain? Where did the scheming Alex Russo go?
"Alex", he breathed, his voice tiring because of exasperation, "you can get another boyfriend. You know, someone who actually loves you and wouldn't hurt you like this?"
"He doesn't hurt me all the time!" Alex protested. "He has done that just seven times in all these years."
"Just seven times?" Justin asked in disbelief. "Seven is a sizeable number Alex. If he loved you, he wouldn't do it once…. I can never do it to you… "
He bit his lip, the three words failed to get out of it again.
She closed her eyes and inhaled sharply. "No one can ever love me like you Justin…" she whispered.
"Alex, please." He pleaded again.
"He's trying." She snapped, annoyed at their inability to say the 3 words with their own lips.
"You are not making any sense!" he snapped back. "Why can't you just use magic to change him?"
"Justin, whenever I've used magic to do something like this, it always ended up badly." She pointed out.
"Well then, let me do it." He urged.
She shook her head. "No, Justin. That's not the right thing to do!"
"Since when do you care about right and wrong?" He yelled.
"Since I grew up!" she yelled back.
"You haven't grown up! You're acting like a child, Alex! You are being so damn stupid and irrational!" he growled.
"Justin" she sighed again, "He's trying… I need to give him a chance. It took me forever to get over you… I've gotten used to Mike now. I can't get used to someone else!"
"Why can't you just be alone, like me?" He questioned.
"I am not you, Justin." She replied, the usual sarcasm missing from her voice, and lament present in its place. "I need someone to get over you…"
"You are not doing any noble job!" he shouted desperately. "You are hurting yourself. You are being ridiculous. You are being sickening. You are insane, Alex!"
She hung up the phone. There was no thinking, no turning back. Grabbing her cell phone again, she dialed the number. "Mike, where are you? You do remember that you need to go to the psychiatrist today, right?"
"I prefer therapist." Mike reprimanded playfully. "Don't worry; I'm on my way."
"What! You won't pick me up?" she pouted.
"You can't go!" Mike protested immediately. "What did the doctor say, Alex? You need to give your leg some rest."
"But I'm bored." She complained.
"I'll bring home your favorite DVD, I promise." He assured.
"But I want to go out!" she whined.
"And pizza with pineapple toppings" he added, "Alex, you have to listen to the doctors. You can't even walk properly yet, you'd end up hurting your leg even more."
"Please." She tried again.
"Do you want me to tell the doctors or Justin that you're-" He paused mid-sentence, suddenly reminded about that he could no longer call up his friend and talk to him whenever he needed him.
"Drive safely." Alex whispered as she hung up the call. Life was just so darn complicated!
/////
The wedding happened three months later, when Alex could walk and run properly again. Justin had to attend it, to avoid arising suspicion in his parents' minds, and to try to talk some sense into Alex one last time.
His eyes stopped the moment he saw Alex, looking drop dead gorgeous in her wedding dress- the dress that should have been for him, but wasn't. Their eyes met and the world blurred out again.
"Hey" he greeted, smiling nervously, as he walked up to her, hoping she still wasn't mad at him for their phone-fight.
She smiled back and leant in closer to his ear. "Do you have your wand with you?" she whispered.
"Umm, yeah, why?" he asked in confusion.
"Good, I need you to change my shoes into sneakers." She whispered. "I can't walk around in these high heels!"
Justin chuckled slightly and took a step back, looking at her shoes. "Actually, I'd rather let them stay that way. It'd be so hilarious to see you trip during your wedding. Good thing I got my camera, huh?"
She glared at him. "Just wait till this is over. And I'll show you what's hilarious." She threatened.
"Sure, if we meet after that." He snapped, and finally, their happiness faded, the realism and seriousness of the situation dawning on them again.
"Alex, please come with me." Justin pleaded again.
"Ugh, no, not again!" She groaned and proceeded to walk away.
"Alex, wait." He called out, making her stop. "You can't just walk away like that! This is our goodbye!"
"Why do we have to keep saying goodbyes?" she questioned.
"I don't know…." He shrugged. "I guess life isn't done with us yet?"
"How many more times do we have to say goodbye?" she whispered exasperatedly.
"I wish I knew…" he sighed. "Alex, I-"
"Why is it so painful every time?" she asked again, her eyes fixed on the ground.
"Alex." He said sternly. "Are you sure you want to do this?"
"Yes." She said firmly, looking straight into his eyes.
"And what if I say I won't let you do this?" he challenged. "What if I say I won't let you make the biggest mistake of your life? What if I ask you to run away with me? What if I say I'd use magic to set you free?"
"You can't use magic on Mike!" Alex protested instantly. "He doesn't even know about magic! He wouldn't even know what happened. You can't do that to the poor guy!"
"Poor guy?" Justin asked in disbelief. "How can you say that about that jerk?"
"He's trying Justin!" she snapped, as she extended her bruise free arms up to him as proof. "See."
"What if he turns abusive again?" Justin challenged.
"He won't." Alex hissed sharply.
"I don't get it!" he yelled. "Why can't we just use magic on him?"
"For the same reason that we can't use magic to save lives, or kill people, or fight crime. We can't bend the law Justin…Using serious magic on mortals in forbidden." She stated, and she was being the mature, responsible one for the first time in their lives.
("And the last time." He mutters. "Says the one who still takes baths, huh?" she mocks.)
"Really?" he snarled back. "So now you choose to follow the law! And now you are fighting with me to defend him?"
"Yes, I am." She said coldly, not meeting his gaze. "He's my to-be-husband."
"And what am I?" he demanded.
"You're my brother!" she almost yelled, her anger mounting with the argument going nowhere.
"Oh, so that's all that matters to you now?" he asked, grabbing her roughly by her shoulders. "After all we've been through, this is what you'll do to me?"
"Justin!" she hissed. "Let me go."
"Answer me Alex." He demanded. "What if I ask you to run away with me? Would you run away with me?"
("I still can't believe I said that." Justin says. "I guess love does make you crazy."
"Hey, science makes you crazy!" Alex protests, supported by Max.)
They glared at each other, gazing deeply into each other's eyes to see through the lies. Alex's eyes softened slowly, as she noticed the burning love in Justin's. Just as she was about to open her mouth to say yes-
"Oh, there you are, Alex!" They were broken out of their trance by Mrs. Finkle's voice, and he let go of her, breathing deeply in rage, backing away.
"Come on, your mom's looking for you." Harper said, pulling her by her arm and pointing at Mrs. Russo.
She looked at her mother, standing in the middle of some eight ladies, smiling, laughing and chatting, showing off her own wedding ring. She had never seen her mother so happy before… Her father was standing with Max, looking longingly at the wedding cake, smiling as well. Even from such a far distance, she could see their eyes glitter with happiness and pride- happiness and pride that depended on her answer to Justin's question.
She looked at Justin one last time, and gave him a small apologetic smile and a glare through her tear-filled eyes. "No", she said, shaking her head, before turning around and walking away.
She knew how life would be for them if they ran away. They'd have to keep running and hiding, and running, and hiding again. Those things looked really easy in the movies. But it wasn't so easy in real life.She wasn't a reckless, carefree teen anymore. She was a responsible woman. She couldn't do this. The stakes were too high. She couldn't end her parents' happiness- they had always put her happiness before theirs, put up with everything she demanded and every mess she made…She was willing to risk her life for Justin, but not his life. She had already done enough damage to him, to her family- she couldn't do any more.
She smiled to herself, trying to ease her pain, and tried to induce a faint sense of hope within herself with her own words from earlier times:
"If you love someone, set them free. If they love you, they'll come back."
////
He stood there, speechless, motionless, shattered by her rejection. This was something he had never expected. What was wrong with her? Why was she behaving this way?
"Hey" Mike whispered, standing beside him.
Justin shot him a look of disgust and hatred and turned around to walk away.
"No, Justin, please, wait." Mike pleaded, grabbing his hand.
Justin jerked his hand away from his grasp. "Don't dare to." He muttered through clenched teeth.
"Let me explain myself, please." Mike pleaded again.
"You blackmail my Alex. You constantly beat her up. And now you're asking me to listen to you?" he muttered angrily.
"I wasn't thinking; I was insane." Mike explained, his voice regretful and pained. "I'm trying, Justin, I really am. I've been visiting the therapist and undergoing anger management. I don't want to hurt Alex… I really love her."
"No you don't." Justin snapped instantly. "You are just being a possessive, selfish freak. Love isn't selfish. Love is kind, forgiving, selfless…"
("Ugh, Justin, just skip the cliché talk!" she scoffs. "Fine!" he snaps.)
"…You don't love Alex. If you did, you wouldn't have blackmailed her like that."
"I…I'm sorry… I…" Mike sighed, looking at the ground. "All right, look, if you want to take her away, fine. I won't do anything to you." He whispered.
Justin stared at him in disbelief, eyebrows arched up skeptically.
"I… I am serious Justin." Mike assured. "I…I'm not a bad person… I just…. Love her too much…. She..." he sighed, taking in a deep breath. "She reminds me of Samantha, she...she" he gulped hard and blinked to hold back the tears, "she died when I was young and…. Alex… I… I don't want to lose her… I…." he sighed again, and finally looked at Justin. "If Alex is happy with you, fine…. Take her with you."
Justin bit his lip, torn between hatred and sympathy. Finally, he let out a hysteric laugh. "I can't… she won't come with me. And I don't even know why…."
"Justin-" Mike tried again.
"Now listen up, you better take good care of her." Justin threatened, grabbing him by the sleeve of his suit. "If I hear about any wrong thing that you do to her, no one will be worse than me." He added, his voice filled with determination.
Mike gulped and nodded.
Justin let go of him, fighting back the urge to punch him in the face for all the things he had done to his sister- revenge wasn't a Justin-thing, and he did not need a fight in public during his sister's not-dream wedding.
He looked at Alex one last time, seeing her smiling and talking to their parents, seeing her happy. "Tell them I have some urgent work to attend to." He muttered to Mike, before turning around and walking away.
His steps felt so heavy, so burdened. The distance seemed so great, so unending. He wished he could just run away, but his legs were too feeble. His heart was aching, but tears weren't forming in his eyes. He couldn't understand why she turned him down. Why didn't she want a life with him? The feeling of defeat sunk into his heart, as he closed his eyes and tried to comfort himself with a faint hope. Her words from many-a-years back echoed in his ears-
"If you love someone, set them free. If they love you, they'll come back."
/////
"Smile for the camera,
Everybody's looking at ya,
Smile for the camera,
Cause they're all about to trash ya,
Smile for the camera, camera, camera,
Smile for the camera,
Who's gonna catch you?"
-Selena Gomez, Falling Down
(Thanks again to Baku Babe for the song!)
(A/N: I actually had to split up this original chapter into two chapters and add detailed scenes to explain what I was doing. I hope you get my reasons now. Criticism is still welcome, but keep in mind- this is FUTURE Alex, grown-up Alex, and people in situations like this don't really think or reason. Put yourself in her situation and see it from her perspective. And mike is not a bad person, like I keep telling, he's psychological, and Alex is working on that. So… Now let me know what you think. Review please! More reviews= faster update!)
Important: my account settings are getting screwed up sometimes, so if you can't PM me, please don't take it personally.