When Mukuro answered the door the next day, he was not surprised to find Squalo standing on his doorstep; he knew the man would have been out sooner or later to try and fix what he had done to Belphegor, after all.
"Good evening, Squalo." Allowing the older male entrance into his home, Mukuro pointed to the doorway off to their right. "Belphegor is in the living room with Fran. He is a bit cranky today."
"When isn't he?" Squalo mumbled, pulling out a few packets of medication from his jacket. "He's always in bad moods."
As if to prove Squalo's point, Belphegor's bossy attitude made itself known the closer they got to the doorway. "You stupid frog! You put the portal in the wrong place again! Do it the other way!"
"Senpai, my way will work just as well as yours," Fran pointed out, as calm as always. "Mine is easier, too."
"No! Do it the way I told you to!"
Mukuro sighed as the long-haired man gave him an amused smirk. "He wonders why I will not play videogames with him anymore…"
Squalo snorted as he stepped into the living room, finding the two younger males curled up on the couch with their laptops. He wasn't surprised to see that the co-op game they were playing together was being led by Belphegor, the blond unable to stand when things weren't done his way.
"Senpai, I don't want to play anymore if you're going to keep yelling at me." Putting his laptop down on the coffee table as a warning that he would get up and leave if the blond didn't calm down, the boy instead started picking at the platter of fruit Mukuro had prepared for them earlier. "You're getting your yucky spit all over me and I might catch an STD."
"Fuck up, whore! Just make the fucking portal so we can finish this level!" Kicking at the coffee table in annoyance, Belphegor waited impatiently for the younger to grab his laptop again.
"I'm not a whore, senpai; I've only been with two people in my life, but I heard from Master that you fucked three-quarters of your school before you two started to date and Master made you stop. I bet you have a nasty disease just waiting to transfer to me in your gross saliva." Grabbing his laptop again, Fran snuggled in close to the man. His small fingers tapped away at the keys in an expert manner, seemingly doing as he had been ordered as Belphegor held a satisfied smirk on his face now.
Squalo almost felt bad at intruding on them when Belphegor looked up and instantly donned a look of fear, but he knew he had to man up and sort Belphegor out before he did anything else no one should even think of doing.
"I'm not going to hurt you, Belphegor," Squalo muttered, stopping by the edge of the coffee table so that there was distance between them; he knew that looming over the blond would never help the younger feel at ease. "I just want to talk to you."
"Don't yell at me…" the smaller male whispered, starting to shake as feelings he had once only ever associated with his parents overwhelmed him. "Don't yell…"
"I'm not going to yell, Belphegor." Tossing the boxes in his hand onto the coffee table, Squalo pointed down at them. "I want you to start taking your medication again."
"No…" A single tear slipped down Belphegor's cheek as he reached out, gripping at his tousled locks with both hands. He pulled harshly, his body starting to quiver as memories of his early childhood flashed through his mind, remembering the pain and fear he had lived through daily; why did Squalo want to put him through it again…? "I… Please… No, Squ-Squ… I… No…"
"Why are you acting like this, Bel?" Leaning down to make himself look smaller, Squalo sighed. He reached out in an attempt to thread his fingers through golden locks, only to frown as his charge pulled away with a whimper. "I'm not going to hurt you; you should know that."
"I thought I did…" Belphegor whispered, his eyes darting to the side as he looked anywhere but at his guardian. "But… You hurt me… just like my parents… I can't trust you again…"
As much as it hurt Squalo to be told this, he knew he should have expected it; Belphegor carried himself as a cocky, egotistical, spoilt brat who would resort to violence if it meant getting his own way, but the long-haired man knew the truth; beneath it all, the blond was a lonely, lost little boy who was afraid that he just wasn't good enough.
"You know I love you, shithead…" Careful with what words he chose, the silver-haired man moved closer, his hands where Belphegor could see them. "I just… I let myself lose control because I was already under a lot of stress… I should never have taken it out on you, and I am so sorry I did. I will never hurt you again if you give me another chance."
Shaking his head, the younger male gripped his pants tightly as he looked down. "…You really scared me, Squ…"
"I know I did…" Putting his hand on top of the smaller one, Squalo waited until obscured eyes fixed on his. "I know I did… I love you, Bel; I only want you to be happy."
"I'm never happy…" the smaller man whispered, hugging himself tight. "I hate living…"
"If you will just go back on your medication, I promise you have a good chance of getting at least a little happier." Wishing there was something he could do, the stronger male could only hope his charge would soon start to trust in at least his words; Belphegor's trust in him had been shattered, and it may take a long time to repair it, just like how it had taken a few months for the youngest to come out of his shell when he and Rasiel had first been adopted.
"Siel never had to have medication…" Though it wouldn't be clear to anyone who didn't know the ill male, Mukuro and Squalo understood what Belphegor was trying to tell them; he didn't want to be different, to be less than Rasiel – he just wanted to be good enough to be loved. "I don't… understand… why I need it… There's nothing wrong with me… I'm normal… Right…?"
It broke the taller males' hearts to hear their loved one starting to doubt himself, but they understood; Belphegor sincerely believed that he wasn't sick, and that everything he suffered through was normal.
"I don't…" Lifting a hand to rub at his eyes, Belphegor sighed. "…Was Siel right…? He always… told me I was a freak… That there was so much wrong with me… I didn't want to believe him… I didn't… But sometimes… it was too hard not to…"
"You're sick, Bel…" Squalo said softly, hoping his charge would finally listen to reason. "I know… I know that you don't think you are, but you're sick. It's the only reason I'm asking you to go back onto your meds. I know how much you hate them because they make you feel like you're inadequate, but I love you no matter what, Bel; I just… want the best for you."
"No… They'll make me even sicker and make everyone think I'm crazy…" The fear in the younger's voice made it clear that Belphegor was adamant to never go back onto medication. "Make the stupid frog take them! I don't want them!"
"Fran can't have them, Bel." Palming his face in growing frustration, Squalo cocked his head towards the packets. "If you start taking them again, you'll feel better."
"No, I won't…" Rubbing at his wet eyes, Belphegor shook his head. "...I won't..."
"Don't be scared, Bel; you know you're safe."
Looking up at his guardian, Belphegor shivered as he shook his head. "Please... Don't make me..."
"I went through all the trouble of convincing Shamal to give me prescriptions for you, too." Sighing dramatically, Squalo shrugged; he hoped that if he were to try a different path, Belphegor would soon agree to go back to being medicated. "Oh, well; I guess I just wasted all that money on medications. Just think; I could have spent that on my own meds that are used. Fucking pity."
Belphegor frowned, knowing only too well how badly Squalo needed his antidepressants; with the older man having suffered work-place bullying by his superiors for so long, on top of putting up with a semi-abusive relationship and being worn thin by caring for twins that made his life a lot harder, the long-haired man suffered from depression, most notably characterised by his loud, aggressive nature.
Belphegor didn't want to be the reason his guardian cried at night; if he had deprived the man of his antidepressants, and wouldn't even cooperate, then...
Shuddering slightly, the blond's mouth went dry as he reached out to take the packets from the coffee table. He glared reproachfully at them before his gaze softened and he looked to the long-haired man. "...I'm sorry, Squ..."
"It's not your fault, brat." The oldest male hated guilt-tripping the other, but did he really have a choice? He had seen first-hand how far he had allowed his responsibility to slip, and all of it could have been avoided if he had just forced Belphegor back onto his meds all those years ago. "Make sure you keep taking them. Give me a call if you need to."
Belphegor nodded, dropping his head. He was glad the other was leaving now, just wanting to continue playing his game and pretend that nothing had happened; he was more than terrified of being beaten again, wanting to avoid all possibilities of it occurring once more.
"I'll see you another time, brat…" Quieter than he had been in a long time, Squalo left the living room, intending on going back home; it hurt to be around Belphegor when the other was acting so fearfully around him.
Mukuro followed him out to the entrance hall, waiting until they were out of earshot of Belphegor. "I will make sure he takes his medication, Squalo; I will not let him fall any further."
"Thanks, brat; I can always count on you." Clapping the younger on the shoulder, Squalo turned around to open the front door. He glanced back over his shoulder once before he left, wanting to get home before it started to storm.
Mukuro felt a tad bad as he went back into the living room, listening to his two lovers banter at each other; he hated deceiving Squalo and everyone else around them, but he knew no one would understand the love he had for Fran; they would simply accuse him of being a pedophile, take Fran away forever, and lock him away behind bars.
All Mukuro wanted was to be able to hug and kiss his charge forever.