Deipunzel

I updated I finally get to bring my school laptop home, so updates will be more frequent! Yay! Party!...No there will be no party, whatsoever. You will read my story and you will review. Then we'll party!

Once upon a time there lived a lovely couple. The mighty and strong Pein and his lovely wife, Konan.

"YES! FINALLY! I'm WITH KONAN!" His wife kicked him.

"That wasn't in the script! Sit down!"

"Yes mother. I meant, wifey!" He had on a perverted grin. Which earned him a smack across the face.

"Ow! Why are you so mean?"

Across from their little cottage lies the castle of an evil witch. The witch had a very beautiful garden outside her house. Everyday, Konan would look outside the round, blue window at the carrots. She longed to eat those delicious carrots. Longing, and longing everyday. Soon, she became very weak. The poor angel can barely walk. Pein, who loved his wife dearly,

"YES I DO VERY MUCH!"

Who loved his wife very much and dearly,

"YES I LOVE HER VERY MUCH! MORE THAN ANYTHING IN THE WORLD!"

"I THINK WE GET THE POINT!" The frustrated narrator yelled. The narrator would like to tell Pein that he will not be paired with Konan next time and that he will be eaten by the other narrator who, by the way, is very hungry at the moment.

"Yes. Our stomach is growling. Delicious carrot-top."

….Silence….And now a word from our sponsor!

"TOBI IS A GOOD BOY!"

….We now return to the program…

Who loved his wife more than anything in the world, he really does. The man couldn't bear to see his beloved wife suffer any longer. So one day, Pein snuck into the witch's garden and dug out two perfect carrots. He took them home to show Konan. When she saw the carrots her face instantly lit up.

"Carrots! How?"

"I got them for you."

"Thank you!" She flung her arms around his neck.

"Anything for you. Now, do I get a kiss?" He puckered up only to have his lips connect with a carrot Konan threw at him.

"Go wash these up."

"But. But…"

"Oh! The light! It's fading! I'm dying…Pein, help me…" Konan pretended to faint and fall. Pein caught her just in time.

"I will do it! I will wash these carrots for you, Konan-chan!" He hopped away to the kitchen.

"Kirina-chan. We're hungry." As if on cue, Zetsu's stomach growled.

"Don't eat me!"

"Give us food!" The plant demanded.

"Here's a deal: You do your job and narrate for a while and I go find food for you."

"We'll do it." The narrator left as another took her place.

Leader washed carrots. They eat. Why do they get to eat and we don't? I don't know! The girl should hurry up. I'll eat her arm off. Deidara would blow us up if we did. Deidara will blow her up by the end of this story anyways, we might as well ease his job a little. That's not a bad idea.

Our narrator returns. (Finally!)

"I brought your favorite, mailman! How far are you in the story?"

"They eat." Sweat drop.

"Uh, here's your food. I'll take it from here." She threw the mailman at the plant.

The couple enjoyed a very delicious dinner and carrot cake for dessert. *Munch, munch, munch*

"Zetsu? Can you keep it down?"

"No."

"Fine."

The next day, a satisfied Konan sat happily by the window and looked at the witch's garden like she does every day. The carrots seem even more perfect today. The longing returned. Pein, who loved his wife very much, snuck into the garden again. Unluckily, the witch, dressed in an ugly black dress with a mask covering her face, was out studying her garden. She caught the poor man.

"You! What are you doing in my beautiful garden! Trying to steal my carrots!"

"I'm so sorry it's just that my wife and…Kakuzu? You're the witch?"

"Yes I am! Do you have a problem with that? Is my butt not big enough to be a witch? I knew I should've told the costume designers to make it bigger! Anyways, you were saying?"

"My wife…uh, Konan. Loved your carrots, if she couldn't eat some tonight she'll die!"

"Ah, so that's what happened." She croaked. "I will give you some carrots under one condition. Your wife will have a daughter in a few months, once she does, you will give the daughter to me in exchange for carrots." The man thought this over.

"Okay. I promise." The evil witch took a bunch of carrots and threw them at Pein.

"Now shoo! Time is money and you're wasting my time!" Pein didn't need a second warning, he sped out of there faster than ever.

A few months later, just as the witch foretold, Konan had a beautiful baby girl.

"What should we name it?" Pein asked.

"Deipunzel after…uh….some princess." At that moment, lightning struck and the witch appeared in a shroud of black smoke.

"Give me your daughter!"

"Never!" Konan yelled. (The following event includes a dramatic mother crying for her baby, an overprotective husband, some fighting, a weasel, and several securities to "clear things up")

16 years later….

Deipunzel stared out the window, just like her mother did. For sixteen years, the witch had locked her up in the highest tower in the land.

"Why the hell am I a girl, un?" She wondered aloud….

"You said the wrong line." The narrator whispered.

"It's true, un! Do you just like to make fun of me?"

"I'll give you a better part next time!"

"Do I get to kiss someone, un?"

"YES YES WHATEVER! Get on with it, this is too long!"

"Fine, fine."

"I wonder what the outside world looks like, un."

"Deipunzel, Deipunzel. Let down your golden hair." Deipunzel dropped her silky long hair down.

"I hope it's so heavy that it kills you, un!" The witch climbed up and entered through the window.

"You say something?"

"Nothing." This was what the witch did everyday. She visited Deipunzel and threw carrots at her for breakfast, lunch, and dinner. Today was no different. She threw the carrots and left. As the witch left, a shadow appeared from the garden. This mysterious person watched everything that happened.

"Sempai, sempai! Let down your hair!"

"BAKA! It's Deipunzel."

"Oh…Deipunzel, Deipunzel let down your hair!" A long rope of blond fell. The mysterious figure climbed up.

"Oh!" Deipunzel spoke in a completely false tone. "You aren't the witch! Who are you?" The intruder turned out to be a man with an orange swirly mask in royal clothing.

"I am Prince Good Boy!" He exclaimed, unsheathing his sword.(Don't worry, it's made of plastic. Only a stupid person would give Tobi a real sword;)

"And what the hell are you doing here, un?"

"Sempai! You have to be ladylike!"

"Oh, just what are you doing in my lonely castle, my dear prince? That good enough, un." The prince nodded.

"Prince Good Boy is here to save you!"

"Oh joy." The girl mumbled.

"Wait here at sunrise tomorrow. Prince Good Boy will save you then!"

"I can't wait, un." With that, Prince Good Boy jumped down. The witch, meanwhile, had watched their whole exchange. She asked Deipunzel to let her hair down and climbed up.

"HOW DARE YOU, CHILD! I WILL CUT YOUR HAIR OFF AND GIVE IT TO CHARITY!"

"Charity, un? When were you ever interested in charity?"

"Since never! Now turn around!"

"No."

"You dare disobey me? You will suffer the consequences!" She forced Deipunzel around and with giant scissors, chopped her hair clean off.

"YOU CUT MY HAIR OFF, UN! GIVE IT BACK, YOU OLD HOOT!"

"What did you call me?"

"OLD HOOT!" The witch shook violently.

"SUFFER THE WRATH OF KAKUZU!" The witch tied poor Deipunzel down on a chair and proceeded with her plan.

"Aw, you feel sorry for me, Kirina-chan?"

"Sadly, yes. I do."

The next morning, Prince Good Boy kept his promise and returned to the castle.

"Sempai, sempai. Let down your hair for Prince Good Boy!" The long strip of hair went down. The masked prince climbed and climbed till he reached the top. Only to find…an old wrinkle bag in place of his beloved sempai.

"You're not sempai! You are…sempai's granny!"

"I am not!" Deipunzel struggled, trying to break free.

"Sempai! Don't worry! Prince Good Boy will save you!" He ran to the chair, but the witch blocked his way.

"Oh no you don't! You can't go through past me!" Prince Good Boy took out his sword, preparing for combat, as did the witch.

"Die!" They clashed. After a while, both of them fell down the open window. The witch died, but the Prince survived. He was blinded though and wandered around for days. Deipunzel broke through the ropes that tied her down and carefully climbed down from her prison. She too, wandered.

One warm evening, the prince sat down, tired. Deipunzel was snacking on some berries when she spotted him.

"Prince?"

"Sempai! Prince Good Boy can't see!" Deipunzel walked over to get a closer look.

"Uhh, that's because you have a leaf in your eye, un."

"Oh. Thank you Sempai!" The prince carried Deipunzel onto his horse. They lived happily ever after as the two rode into the sunset.

"The end." The narrator finished.

"So did I die?" Pein asked.

"Yup!"

"What about Konan?"

"Same."

"WHY? WHY DO I GET PAIRED UP WITH HER, THEN WE BOTH DIE! WHY!"

I did it! I hope none of you lost any fingers while crossing it *Wink, wink * Madin456;)

This was a pretty weird chapter. Deidara was a girl and Kakuzu was a girl. Weird. But the next time Deidara's on, I promise that he will be a guy!...MaybeXD

According to the poll results, 3 said that Kakuzu used his money to buy teddy bears and 2 said he put them under his mattress. I think he saved it up for his retirement plan. Cause he is old, gotta start thinking about retiring. Next poll will be a random Naruto question! Please review! Bye!