The next time Casey woke up, it was dark in the room. Her heart started pounding even though she knew she was not back in the coffin…there was no way she could be. She told herself it was ridiculous for a grown woman to be afraid of the dark, but she could not help it after what she had been through. "John?" she said shakily. "Turn on a light?"
She heard a clicking sound and the room was immediately bathed in light. She thanked God for the pain that shot through her eyes as she surveyed the room, assuring herself that it was not the coffin. "Why are you sitting in the dark?" she asked John, forcing steadiness into her voice.
"I didn't want to wake you up," he said softly, trying to smile. The light cast shadows on his face, showing his age more clearly than ever. It scared Casey to see him looking so drawn and tired.
"Hey," she said softly, tears coming to her eyes though she did not exactly know why, "come here."
He rose and sat beside her on the bed, cupping her cheek with his hand. She placed hers on top of his, gently caressing his skin. She felt tears rolling down her face, seeping under his hand. "I'm sorry," she whispered, turning her face to kiss his palm.
"For what?" he asked, shaking his head. "You have nothing to be sorry for."
"I just…I just…oh God, John." She squeezed her eyes shut, feeling him thumb brush away her tears. "I don't know what's wrong with me," she said softly as tears continued to form.
"Nothing's wrong with you," he said. She felt his fingers trace her cheekbones, run across her eyelids and lips. It was so good to feel him again. She had been afraid she never would. "You're going to be fine. And of course you're upset. I can't even imagine what you're feeling…."
"This isn't me," Casey insisted, ashamed of the way she was reacting. "I don't act like this."
"You can't always be strong, Case," John said gently. "Let it all out. I'm here. I'm here."
She screwed up her eyes against the flood of tears that was threatening to pour out of her. "Kiss me," she managed to say, finally opening her eyes.
John obeyed, and he bent down to kiss her, her eyes falling closed again.
She let the feeling of John take her over so she did not have room for anything else. His tongue stroked hers until she fell into oblivion; he consumed her fear and her pain until all she had left was her love for him.
Casey pulled back when she felt tears that were not her own falling onto her skin. She opened her eyes to see John crying silently. She ran her fingertips down his face, her heart literally aching for him. She wanted nothing more than to make love to him that instant and not to stop for the rest of their lives.
"I'm sorry I couldn't save you," he said, catching her wrist and bringing her fingers to his lips.
"You did. You all did. You found me, didn't you?" She sighed, finally able to smile genuinely. "You know what I want to do right here, right now?" she asked suggestively.
John raised his eyebrows. "Of course I know, but Casey, do you really think now is the time to go lawn bowling?"
She started laughing, so grateful for John's completely random sense of humor. It was so in sync with her own sometimes odd personality.
His expression grew serious. "Soon, Case," he said, running his hand through her hair. If everything went how he planned, the next time they made love it would be as an engaged couple.