A month! I can't believe it's been a month! I am so, so sorry! I just started my OU course and it's taking up more of my time and effort than I thought it would, but I'm trying to manage my time better now so it shouldn't be too bad anymore.
It's not epically long, but this one is roughly twice the size of my average chapter of this fic to make up for my being M.I.A
I hope you're still enjoying and haven't wandered off, there's more to come and it will be finished. I'm hoping to get the final chapter up before christmas.
Disclaimer: No money, no credit and no children have been stolen in the writing of this fic. Daphne Ballon has kept them all.
The day after the completion of phase one Lizzie called a family meeting. Derek refused to move from his recliner so everyone gathered around him in the living room, the 'rents claiming the sofa, leaving the sibs to sit on the floor or perch on an arm of the sofa.
Derek reluctantly turned the volume down on the TV (now way was he turning this off, he'd have nothing to occupy himself with when he got bored of listening to other people talk) and swung the recliner upright.
Edwin stepped forward with a single clap of his hands. "Now that we are all assembled, with the exception of Casey of course, she's at Emily's crying over Truman, cursing him and Vicki both, working through an entire tub of ice-cream, eating an entire bar of-"
"It's time to talk about phase two." Lizzie cut in with an affectionate eye roll.
"Phase two?" Derek asked incredulously. "She only just broke up with Truman! I don't wanna be the rebound guy!"
"Derek, girls, unlike boys, make relationship choices based on established opinions of people. We can't expect to just throw a switch when we're ready and have her jump aboard the Derek train." Lizzie tried to explain, holding herself back from being truly condescending by a tiny margin. "We can use her period of heart-broken devastation to our advantage."
Derek took a moment to smirk to himself at his dirty interpretation of Casey 'jumping aboard the Derek train' before letting the last sentence Lizzie had spoken drag him back down into extremely reluctant guilt. "I can't believe I'm going to say this, but should we really be making Casey's pain into our personal gain?"
"Why Derek, I had no idea you were a poet."
"Shut up Edwin."
"Noted."
"Derek's right, this seems wrong." Nora said after a moment's consideration. "The plan should be put on hold until she's feeling better. She's our priority."
"Show of hands, who's in favour of putting off the plan until Casey's eaten enough ice-cream to feed the third world?" Edwin asked.
Nora's hand went straight up, Marti's going after until Derek clenched his eyes shut and forced his hand into the air. Damn feelings.
"That's three. There's six of us. It's a tie." Lizzie sighed.
"Wait, what was the question again?" Marti said while everyone mulled over a way to decide.
"Do you want to wait until Casey feels better before we try and get her to like Derek, or do we lay the groundwork while she's still upset?" Nora asked.
"Derek should buy her a frog." Marti said, after a moment of deep contemplation.
Derek grinned, Nora and George smiled affectionately and Edwin and Lizzie gave her matching looks of fond frustration.
"But do I buy her things while she's upset 'cause we made her break up with Truman, or do I wait until she's over him?" Derek asked.
"Now! Now! Now!" Marti chanted, spinning around on the spot.
"I don't think Marti's vote should count." Derek said once she'd settled down again. "No offense Smarti."
Marti shrugged.
"It doesn't make a difference. There's only you and Mom that want to wait it out." Lizzie replied. "Phase two is a go."
"Now we just have to figure out what phase two is." Edwin followed up.
"Isn't prom coming up?" George asked after a few minutes of thinking and half started sentences.
"Yeah, and?" Derek asked.
"Well, she's not going to have anyone to go with now. We could get her to let you take her."
"I think she'd rather go with Emily or on her own than with me. That's if she even decides to go now we've effectively ruined it by shoving her dream jerk out of the picture." Derek fires back.
"Derek, are you feeling guilty?" Edwin questioned suspiciously.
Derek flailed. "No! She's much better off without him. I just wish..." He trailed off, unable to think of a non-sappy way to say 'I wish she'd done it on her own, I wish she'd choose me herself, I wish we didn't have to strategize to get her to like me'.
"I know." Nora smiled sympathetically. "But what's done is done, and good riddance to that creep! Casey deserves someone who cares about her, and it's becoming more and more obvious that you do."
He wasn't quite sure how to take that. On the one hand Casey's mother giving him the go-ahead for the second time, this time after he participated in a plan to break her daughter's heart, made him feel like less of jerk. Like maybe he had a shot at making Casey happy. But on the other, since when was he so concerned with making Casey happy? Or, rather, when did it become obvious? It was worrying.
"So, how do we get Casey to go to the prom with Derek?" Lizzie tried to get the conversation back on track.
"How about we don't?" Derek responded, a little snappish from his own inner confusion. "She'd never agree to it and I don't want to play the older brother stepping in so she doesn't have to go alone anyway. This is weird enough as it is."
"You wouldn't be playing the older brother, you'd be playing the friend." Lizzie argued. "Besides, no matter what Casey says, there's no way she wants to skip prom."
"We already had a prom, isn't one enough?" Derek whined. A totally manly whine of course.
"And if you're playing the friend then we need to get you to friend status." Lizzie went on, ignoring him completely. "We need to figure out a way to ingratiate you, a way for you to gain her trust."
"You make it sound like I'm an undercover assassin."
Lizzie rolled her eyes. "Anyone have any thoughts?"
"Yeah, do I shoot her or poison her?"
"Anyone other than Derek?"
"I think Marti may have the right idea." Edwin said slowly, still working through his idea in his head as he spoke the words.
"Buy her a frog?" George asked in confusion.
"No. But bribery is an effective method." Edwin pointed out.
"You want me to try to buy my way into Casey's heart?"
"No, just into her confidences. Once you're there we can work on the heart bit." Edwin explained.
"That's not actually a totally awful plan." Lizzie patted Edwin on the shoulder, leaving her hand there as Edwin preened under the praise. "If she has motivation to spend time with Derek when he isn't purposely ruining her life then she'll see him more and get to know the sweeter side of him."
Derek glared at her for saying he had a sweeter side. The plan itself wasn't all that terrible. "I'm gonna need money for this plan." Hey, an opportunity is an opportunity! Greater schemes of barf inducing epic romance aside, his real true love was always going to be himself and he liked money. More specifically, other people's money.
"Nice try, but I've seen your last bank statement." George replied without missing a beat. "You can afford to spend your own money getting the girl."
Eh, worth a shot. "So, what am I apparently buying first?"
Lizzie shrugged. "A box of tissues? Something thoughtful and practical to start off with."
"Me? Thoughtful?" Derek couldn't have held back the scoff if he'd wanted to. "Then she'll know something's up for sure."
"Fine! Just go get her something to make her smile." Lizzie ordered. "You're actually pretty good at that."
Shopping. The activity right at the very top of Derek's 'Things I Don't Do Even Under Threat of Torture' list. And for very good reason. Spending money wasn't the problem, especially if it was the much coveted Other People's Money, the problem was spending it on someone else. Half because the thought was repugnant to him, half because he had absolutely no idea what to buy.
He went through ideas of over dramatizing the situation (condolence cards; more specifically one made for the loss of pet), trivialising it (DVD of He's Just Not That Into You and a book on, ahem, 'self-service' for women), being genuine (though he will never admit that he spent three and a half minutes contemplating learning to play the song Cry To Me. He has blocked that brief brain malfunction from his mind) and enabling (ice-cream, chocolate, sad romance novels, DVD's of Dirty Dancing, Titanic and Romeo and Juliet). Nothing seemed right. Funny. But not right.
Until he walked into a gift shop, so named presumably out of irony seeing as he knows nobody who would want a Keep Calm apron or a piggy bank with the Canadian flag on the side, and saw the spinning rack with the growing figurines.
He wasn't sure whether to get the voodoo Doll or the grow your own Perfect Boyfriend, so he got both. And a blank greeting card with a kitten on the front. Then some chocolates in the shape of penises, and a teddy bear wearing a faux-leather jockstrap and shades for good measure.
And seriously, what kind of gift shop stocks this stuff?
He forced the memory of the price from his mind and headed home. Casey would be back from Emily's soon, and he'd rather not wait to give them to her in case he started over thinking too much.
Lizzie and Edwin came barging into his room not long after he got back, demanding to see what he'd bought. Derek opted not to get grounded and just showed them the voodoo doll and card.
Lizzie was a little dubious but open minded. "Not what I would have gone for, but then I have doubted you in the past and been proven wrong."
"Mhmm." Derek hummed, pen poised over the card, trying desperately to decide between 'congrats on ditching the asshole' or 'sorry your boyfriend was a dick' as the message inside. He went for the latter. It had a nicer ring to it.
"What else is in the bag?"
Derek's head jerked up. "What bag?"
Edwin rolled his eyes. "The one under your desk."
Derek shrugged. "Stuff. Now get out, I only have a few minutes before Casey heads up to her room."
Lizzie and Edwin exchanged a look which Derek was not dumb enough to interpret as anything other than a silent agreement to eavesdrop once Derek was in Casey's room. He also wasn't dumb enough to believe telling them not to would help.
Instead he enlisted Nora's help via text. They were doing chores downstairs within minutes.
If the angry break up songs suddenly coming through his wall were anything to go by, Casey was in her room. Show time.
Derek rapped against her bedroom door continuously until it swung open.
"What do you want?" Casey demanded.
"Can I talk to you for a minute? I come bearing gifts." He held the bag up for inspection.
Casey deliberated a moment before swinging the door wider and stepping back. "If you've come to mock me then you needn't bother. I already feel like the world's stupidest straight A student."
"Nope. No mocking. Or at leat, none directed towards you." Derek promised, handing over the back.
Casey's face went from angry to amused but still pissed off to tearful chuckling in the amount of time it took her to go through her presents and read her card.
"Hey! The whole point of this was to help stop any crying, not cause some more!" Derek protested as she sniffled and stood up.
Casey ignored him, backing him up until it was either let her engulf him in a hug that involved crying and her face buried in his neck or crawl backwards over her bed to get away from her. It was a close call, but she caught him before he could make up his mind anyway. He tried not to smell her hair and stiffly wrapped his arms around her in return, squeezing until Casey let out a broken sob and nuzzled further into him.
"Why would he do that?" Casey sobbed into his shoulder, words muffled almost beyond recognition. "No, actually I know exactly why he did it. Because he's a selfish jerk who was never who I hoped he was and never cared about me. God, why am I so stupid? I knew he was a jerk! Everyone knew he was a jerk, and they weren't afraid of telling me so. Why did I date him? Am I really that pathetic?"
For the most part he let the words wash over him; he wasn't sure whether he was even supposed to be able to hear them, let alone if she wanted a reply. He just hung on, not allowing his arms to drop until she heaved in a deep breath and pulled away.
"I'm sorry, this is like your worst nightmare! Crying, feelings, hugging. Me." She shook her head with a self depreciating smirk. "I bet you wish you'd stayed in your room."
Derek shrugged. What the hell was he expected to do? He already let her cry into his shoulder. His shirt felt damp and gross and he still felt ridiculously uncomfortable and self-conscious he wasn't about to add putting his foot in his mouth to the list.
"Thank you for the gifts. They're really... Thoughtful." Casey said diplomatically, a small but much more genuine smile forming as she picked up her teddy.
"No problem." Derek forced out. He hovered awkwardly for a while, then headed for the door, pausing with his hand on the doorknob. "Case?"
"Yeah?"
"Ice-cream. Smelly Nellie's. I'll take you tomorrow."
Another smile. "Sure."