This fanfic idea comes from the prompt I choose to do for the Bingo Ficathlon at the Robin Hood Fan Community forum.
The prompt was: "Marian accepts Guy's proposal at the end of 'Walkabout', both thinking that Nottingham is about to be destroyed. It doesn't happen. Now they're both left wondering what's next. Will Marian actually go through with the marriage this time? And if not, how in the world does Guy deal with the loss a second time?"
To explain the beginning of this fanfiction, I did a video "It's Our Fight". (You can see it at dolphen3's channel on Youtube.)
English is not my first language. I want to thank deeply my beta-reader sahraobsessed for all her great work and the way she always find time to help me when I need it even if she is extremely busy!
Sorry for the delay but as you know, I really try and give you the best I can to please you.
As I said it on my Tumblr account when I announced I finished to write this chapter, I really want to thank all of you for your patience with me, the constant support you give to me and your faithful interest for this story.
Without every one of you I would not have the strength to continue writting so this chapter is dedicaced to each of you as real thanks for your help!
Now, come back to the more important here: enjoy this chapter and please, don't forget to review ;) and... Thanks again!
Chapter 14:
Guy took long steps down the corridor, wanting nothing more than to be done with the difficult conversation he was about have with the Sheriff. Guy turned to Allan and ordered him to stay outside their master's door. His squire tried to argue, but the decisive stare he received in response made him reconsider his behavior and obey orders.
Gisborne braced himself, clenching his fists several times and steadying his breathing before opening the door. His face was blank, as it always was in presence of the Sheriff.
"Ah, finally, Gisborne!" Vaisey's happy crazed voice welcomed him, making the Master-at-Arms shiver inwardly as he tried not to think at what could possibly be the reason for the Sheriff's joy.
"I was started to wondering if I would have to turn the dogs loose on you."
His head jerked back while laughing.
"My Lord Sheriff seems in the better spirits today." grumbled Guy, trying not to show the awkwardness he felt deep inside.
"Yes, I bet you can say that, Gisborne! " Vaisey said while crashing his clenched fist on his desk.
"I thought I didn't feel well for a while, no thanks to you, of course." he added between his teeth, his mad eyes locked onto the guarded face of his subordinate. "But we will not bother with upsetting things today. I am too relieved and happy to let something bring me down today!"
The Sheriff left his desk and walked through the room as if dancing. Certainly something was amiss. As seconds ticked passed and the sheriff remained silent Gisborne felt less and less at ease. He needed to know what had happened and to play carefully on it if he wanted to obtain what he needed the most: his freedom or at least room to maneuver. Therefore, he tried to sound less dark and asked with an enthusiastic tone "Please my Lord, tell me the reason of your happiness so that I can share it fully as it seems to be wonderful news."
Vaisey laughed again. His silly giggle scratched Guy's nerves every time he heard it.
"It's certainly wonderful news, Gizzy, but I'm not sure you will like it as much as I..."
A sick feeling took possession of his stomach while Gisborne clenched his jaw, silently commanding the snake in front of him to spit out the news. He asked casually, "Please my Lord Sheriff; enlighten me."
"As you wish..." The Sheriff paused and smiled. Evidently the mad man was taking too much pleasure at the situation.
"I received wonderful news this morning, which removes a huge thorn from my side."
He finally stopped his crazy dance to look directly into Guy's eyes.
"You recall why I was so angry about Lord Edgar Carrington, don't you?"
Of course, Gisborne remembered him. Carrington was one of the men who reluctantly signed the Black Treaty to put aside King Richard. The same Black Treaty Robin Hood stole, making Guy's life more wretched than before. Of course, the Master-at-Arms was not likely to forget him.
"You do remember! I can see by your expression." chuckled Vaisey unmerciful.
He approached the strong and amazingly built dark knight seductively – well, as seductively as a short and bald mad man with a missing tooth can be.
"This story almost cost you your head, Gizzy. You are so lucky I care and need you so much, or you would not be here today."
Gisborne braced himself and closed his eyes to bear Vaisey's innuendos. More than ever, he wanted to be free from this man. He wanted to escape this insane relationship. Vaisey made him feel soiled, even if he had never done anything in this arena that he could be ashamed about. He mentally washed himself of the Sheriff. He felt so true, so himself, so free, so... pure, yes, as pure when he was in Marian's arms.
Vaisey continued to whisper to his Master-at-Arms about how lucky Guy was to be alive because of his importance while moving around him like a snake, coming closer at every pace. Guy was far away mentally, reliving the sweet and ardent moments he had this morning (was it just this morning?) with his Lady wife. She was the only woman who had captured his heart and his passionate desire. She made him feel alive and complete for the first time in his life. He needed to free himself to this masquerade of a man to be the man Marian wanted him to be.
"I want you to be…you, Guy. I want you to be the real man you are." He heard her voice repeating this sentence for at least the hundredth time, drawing his strength from it. He was ready to tell the Sheriff to give him his freedom!
A hand in his shoulder made him jump in surprise and he drew back, jerking Vaisey's hand off of him in the process. The older man laughed, even if his eyes showed how he did not appreciate Guy's behavior.
"Tsk, always so shy, my dear Gizzy."
He sighed dramatically and added: "Well, as I already said, nothing will rob me of my joy today! So, where was I...? I mean before I showed you my appreciation of yourself, of course."
Vaisey giggled and Guy shifted awkwardly one foot to the other.
"Ah yes! Lord Carrington."
The Sheriff went back to his desk, sat on his chair, and put his feet on the desk while finally explaining the reason for his glee.
"You know how I worried about Carrington and his reluctant desire to help us with the Treaty? He finally agreed, but only because you threatened the life of his wife and children."
Guy wanted to lower his head under the weight of shame at the memory of that day but he could not reveal anything more to his master which would put him at risk. Nevertheless, Gisborne was crushed by the guilt he had felt then and still did.
Several months before
It was past dusk when Gisborne arrived at Lord Carrington's castle. He was directed to the Great Hall and announced but not before he heard children's laughter coming from inside.
The place was not large, but perfectly fit for a family. A large hearth lit and warmed up the place. Two armchairs were placed in front of the fire, separated by a rug and many cushions where the children were playing.
Carrington had been impressed and a little frightened to see the dark face of the Sheriff's Right Hand arriving so late at his home but he had received him with the honors. He offered Guy a seat near the hearth and a cup of his best wine. His lady wife, a beautiful young brunette with huge green eyes, Lady Cyrielle and their children came to salute him with warm and welcoming smiles.
One little boy, not more than three years old, watched Guy while sucking on two of his fingers. He whispered with awe:"You're so big."
"Anthelme!" his mother scolded him sweetly.
"Don't talk like that to our guest, please, dearest."
"But it's true, Mum..."
Everyone started to laugh at the child behavior, Guy's face lightened and softened as he remembered another child, a little girl this time, who had said the same thing years past. Marian. She had the same reaction when she saw him the first time. No fear. Just awe. She desired to be around him because the older man seemed reassuring and protective. He could feel the same in the eyes of little Anthelme as he looked to the dark knight.
Suddenly, Guy's heart clenched, his face becoming hard again. His mission came forth from the back of his mind; he was not here to befriend this man and his sweet family. He was to frighten Carrington into obedience to Vaisey.
Never before had Guy felt so ashamed of himself and so disgusted by his work. How could he harm this family who seemed so happy together and so full of love?
Guy's family had never been as close as Carrington's. He had never addressed his dearly loved mother as "Mum". But he knew his parents loved each other deeply and that Ghislaine would have given her life for her children. Even Roger had been fond of Isabella and Guy. His father demonstrated his affection via acts rather than words.
Vaisey's evil nature was more than evident in this mission and Gisborne's heart ached at the realization. The Sheriff knew perfectly that Carrington was not greedy for wealth or property; the only thing he valued more than his life was his loving wife and their five children, the latest of them, Paulin, feeding at his mother's breast with a little blanket over his head and his mother's chest to secure their intimacy in front of Vaisey's emissary.
Being in the same room with this loving family was more than the dark knight could endure. Gisborne's longing for a family of his own assaulted him with envy, making him shiver with desire. A desire to run away from here, and despite her current hostility, to woo Marian, wed her, make love to her and sire their child, to show her how much he loved her and how happy they would be - if only she would give him a chance.
The heavy sigh that escaped his lips surprised him, and helped him to regain his mind. But with reality, the horrible meaning of his mission overwhelmed him again. Horrible? Yes, horrible he realized.
Since his parents' deaths, Guy had shut his feelings off to be able to do everything necessary to ensure his sister's and his own survival. Guilt was nonetheless always present in his mind, devouring him little by little, darkening his soul more each day. It ate each piece of kindness remaining in him until he was empty. Or at least, that was what he thought had happened to him.
Until he met this incredibly pure and kind woman who turned upside down his world, his head, his heart... his very soul.
Initially, she would not have called him the Sheriff's "puppet". But at each of their encounters, she disseminated in his mind her belief that he was not as bad or dark as he thought. Maybe he could change and become the man he should have been, the man of whom his mother could be proud to call her son.
Unprepared to hear her words and too afraid to acknowledge the serenity this simple idea created in him, in fear to lose this as he had lost everything everyday of his life, he had, at first, ardently fought her words and the feelings she brought forth in him.
This night at Carrington's, he began to think of what she tried to make him understand. Most of all, his heart and soul desired Marian's approval and love. The desperate need gnawed him deep inside. Overwhelmed, he felt lost. He had no choice other than to obey to the Sheriff and deliver the threatening message to this man. But how could he do that? How could he destroy the peace, harmony and love of this family when they embodied what he truly wanted more than anything in the world?
"Sir Guy, as much as I appreciate your kind visit to my humble home, I can't help but wonder what is the real meaning behind your visit." Carrington's hesitant words stirred Guy from his daydreaming, making him wiggle awkwardly in his chair.
He was taking a deep breath to prepare himself to deliver his message when Lord Edgar's oldest daughter, Colombe (a beautiful slender teenager with long fair curly hair and her mother's huge green eyes) came to stand in front of Guy. Her coy glances had too much earnest interest for Guy's own taste. She curtsied without breaking her glance and said in her sweet voice:
"Sir Guy, please, tell me, have you been to Court?"
"Yes, I have and often." he answered grumpily, ill at ease with the admiration of this young girl.
"Oh, that is so wonderful. Did you hear that, papa?" she turned to her father with a huge bright smile. "Sir Guy is a regular visitor to Court. So, you see, I already known someone there. Oh papa, you need to let me go to London. Please, dear papa."
Her hands were folded as if in prayer in front of her chest, and her eyes sparkled with anticipation.
"I apologize Sir Guy, for my children's behavior tonight." Lady Cyrielle sighed deeply,
her cheeks flushed.
"Colombe, please, let your father's guest rest!"
"Do not worry. She is not bothering me."
As soon as Guy said those words, he regretted them for young Colombe's eyes widened and she fluttered her lashes flirtatiously.
"It is my entire fault, my Lord, I'm afraid. I promised at my little sunshine here," Lord Edgar said while ruffling his daughter's hair – an offended "Dad!" escaping Colombe's mouth at being treated like a child in front of the man she wanted to impress - "that I will accompany her to Court for her fifteenth birthday."
"Two months from tomorrow." glowed Colombe, lowering her lashes while looking at Guy.
"A good birthday gift, truly." Gisborne said casually.
"I would have preferred to present my daughter at King Richard's Court" (The Master-at-Arms couldn't help but tense at Richard's name) "but she will only turn fifteen once in her life. I am a man of my word. I promised her and will do everything in my power to keep my promise, even if it means I to have to bear with a self-absorbed Prince."
"Edgar!" Lady Cyrielle's voice was just a whisper, but her terror and surprise was strongly felt in her desperate cry to her husband.
Guy's heart was crushed as he witnessed the intense look of love the couple shared. A look that conveyed a request for care, her fear of losing her husband, his remorse for frightening her and the love of his lady wife. Would Guy one day share all those feelings just by one look with Marian? Oh, God, he longed to be overwhelmed by such feelings without uttering a word.
"I am sorry, Sir Guy." Carrington said after coughing awkwardly. "I would not say anything against our dear Prince."
"Don't worry, I understand."
Guy wanted to end this conversation as soon as possible or he wasn't sure he could.
"Will you be there, Sir Guy?" Colombe's voice distracted him from his dark thoughts.
"Excuse me, my Lady, you said?"
"Will you be in London, at Court, in two months? I look forward to seeing you there."
"Colombe!" This time both her parents reacted to the boldness of their eldest child.
"Sir Guy is a very kind guest and I will be very happy to meet him again." She smiled at him as if he were the sun brightening a sad winter day. If only Marian could look at him this way, he would elope with her at once, kissing her with all his love, and loving her ardently until he overwhelmed her with his passion. Well, he should calm his thoughts or his passion would soon take possession of him.
When he looked back at the scene in front of him, he saw that Lady Cyrielle had taken her daughter to the side of the room and was lecturing her quietly for her forward behavior. He couldn't help but smirk as he saw that the rebel nodded to her mother as if listening while she was glancing sideways at him.
This girl had real potential for seduction and mischief, Gisborne admitted inwardly, slightly amused. Her father would have to keep a close eye on her. She was surely a beauty and will turn everyone's head and heart at Court. He just hoped Carrington's earlier words that Prince John will be too occupied by his love for himself to notice her were right or they would have to face difficulties the tender father did not have imagine.
Oh God! He was here to threaten the life of Carington's family, not to be treated like a friend. He was not to worry about their well-being or to be the cause of young Colombe's first broken-heart.
He really needed to take control of the situation before it was too late and he became too emotionally involved with these people to accomplish his mission. What spell had this family cast on him? For he felt human with them. He felt at home, seated in this chair in front of the warm hearth, surrounded by those happy children, this loving couple. Little Anthelme was standing at the right side of his seat, his fingers again in his mouth, looking at him with veneration for he was "a true Knight, like the ones in the stories Papa read to him each night." Young Colombe was making her best to show him how glad she was to have meet him and how truly attracted she was.
Oh dear! Marian had really ruined his life! Now, in these moments, he was not the terrible Sheriff's henchmen but just a man with feelings, who wanted to laugh, who wanted to be in Carrington's place for only an instant, just to feel how complete and truly happy he seemed.
Finally, his torments ended when Lady Cyrielle declared it was time for the children to go to bed. Of course, the children were reluctant to obey because having a real Knight at home was an event they were not used to but after a severe "Children!" shouted by their loving but fair father, they didn't discuss anymore. One by one, they kissed their father's cheeks and bowed in front of Guy. Loup and Sylvestre, the 8 and 12 year-old boys, wished him good night and god speed in case he was not to be at the morning table.
Colombe bowed slightly and blushed deeply, repeating how happy she was to meet a friend of her father. Even as her words pricked at his heart, Guy lowered his head in acknowledgment and gave her hand in a courtly kiss, only the touch of his breath brushing over her knuckles.
"I am sure my Lady will find her happiness at Court. Many young men will be overwhelmed to meet such a fine and beautiful young lady."
"But you...?" she began, disappointed by his words as he did not speak of himself, but flattered at the thought she could have several suitors.
"My Lady should not bother to think of someone as old and dark humored as me. You will find better catch. Be sure of it."
Colombe thanked him with a sweet smile and wished him earnestly to be happy himself. She turned to join her mother who was waiting for her at the door. As Guy's eyes met Carrington's, he mouthed a muted "thank you" to Guy for having quickly snuffed an infatuation that could only have broken the young girl's heart. Gisborne nodded in answer.
Anthelme, the last to bid his goodbye, tugged at his tunic and said through his fingers: "I will be a Knight too one day! We will fight together!"
Overwhelmed by those earnest words, Guy put one knee on the floor, slowly unsheathed his sword halfway and presented the sheathe to the young boy. Bowing his head, he said gravely "If God gives me life till then, when the need arises, I will be by your side, young Knight. This I swear!"
Anthelme's parents gasped reverently, knowing that when a Knight made an oath, he would keep it at cost to his own life if needs be. Of course, the young boy couldn't understand the true meaning of the vow Gisborne had just made to him, but somehow he felt the importance of the moment. Surprising everyone, he closed the distance to the Knight and wrapped his little arms around his now forever friend.
As soon as Guy felt the little body hugging him, he let down his sword and closed his own arms around him. He had never held a child before (except his sister when she was younger) but this was different. This child was not repulsed by his darkness, by all the sins he had committed his all life. Unconsciously, this child had seen through him, had touched the real part of Guy's heart, the one Marian was sure lived again, the one Gisborne was so sure had never existed.
The Knight didn't know what moved him the most, the warm hug given so earnestly by the little boy or all the things this simple gesture revealed of what the child's perception of him. For several moments, he closed his eyes and enjoyed the sensation, imagining he could someday hold his own son this close to his heart. Moisture gathered at his eyes as feelings overwhelmed him. One thing was certain as soon as Anthelme broke the hug, Guy felt deeply empty and he knew that only Marian and their child could make him feel whole forever.
As the child ran to his mother, he looked over his shoulder and waved to Guy, earning a sweet smile from the Knight.
"May I guess that you have no child of your own, Sir Guy?" Lord Edgar asked. He himself was moved by what just happened between this seemingly hard man and his son.
"Not yet, but someday..."
Guy suddenly cleared his throat and stood up. Turning to his host, he spoke with haste and determination.
"Lord Edgar, you need to listen to what I have to say to you. Do not argue. If you refuse, the lives of your family will be in danger. I know my request will be repulsive for you but I can imagine what the Sheriff will do to your loved ones if you refuse. Now that I know them, I cannot bear to see any harm come to them."
"That wasn't what you were sent to say, or am I wrong Lord Knight?"
"You are right. I was here to cause your ruin and destruction if you refused to obey the Sheriff's orders. Now, I will do my best to help and protect all of you."
"What made you change your mind, Sir Guy?"
"A little boy who bound my heart to his by a oath I will keep 'till the end of my days."
Present day
Guy was overwhelmed by the memories of his first encounter with Carrington and his family; he thought he would die of guilt, pain and sorrow as the Sheriff added, his words laced with mad laughter.
"Well, he will not be a problem to me anymore! Neither will his family be a problem to me, or anyone else by the way."