A/N: She's alive! She's alive!
So couple things!
1. The ladies at the Perv Pack reviewed this story! They are awesome. Their blog is awesome. Go check it out! Link in profile. (ps hello to all the new folks who moseyed over from there!)
2. I am this week's guest author for the Friday Free for All on Twilighted! So go check it out when the lovely Ninapolitan puts it up Friday! It's fun, it's lemony and gosh I really shouldn't gush about my own outtake…but I love it.
3. Mucho hugs and continued love to my awesome beta EverIntruiged, who continues not to bat an eye at my depravity.
Last chapter on As the Twilight Turns…
Ho-shit, Bella just went all cavewoman on Edward!
BPOV
I wasn't sure that there was anything less obvious than how I had just acted, but I guess that was the point I wanted to get across. I might've just as well peed on his leg.
Hmm, I hope he's not into that.
Edward grabbed my hand and was leading me out of the club. The main act was still playing, but our tenure here was pretty much over.
"That was interesting," he commented, once we were outside the club and were able to hear each other talk.
"I guess you are going to make a deal out of it?" I shrugged, trying to play it off.
He halted his steps, causing me to stumble into him with our hands still attached. He let go of my hand and braced me so I didn't fall. Even after I had steadied myself, he didn't let go.
"Yeah, I am. You were telling me how people don't belong to each other and then that? What am I supposed to think when your actions contradict completely from your words?"
"I don't know what came over me…" I started, trying to think of how to explain it.
"Jealousy?" he quirked.
Like I needed him to point out the hypocrisy.
"Maybe," I offered lightly, not willing to give him any more incentive to continue this conversation track.
"You don't have to worry, you know. I told you already -- I'm every bit yours just as you are mine." He punctuated his words by pulling me tightly against his body.
"I'm not yours," I said with as much conviction as I could muster, which, at the moment, sounded pitiful even to my ears.
He pulled away from me slightly to look at me in the eyes with a firm gaze. "No? So if we aren't each other's, I can go back in there and fuck Tanya?" Years of training to be a psychologist was probably what kept his voice calm and steady, but I could still hear the angry undertones.
"If that's what you want," I tried to keep the same even tone to my voice, but was unsuccessful.
"And you, it's what you want, too?"
"I'm not sure what I want."
I didn't expect his reaction at all. He laughed.
"God, I don't think I've ever heard a truer statement out of your mouth." I scowled at him.
"Seriously Bella, you've got me in a situation where I'm damned if I do and damned if I don't. You don't know what you want and I don't know what the fuck to do anymore."
"You could be patient with me… accept these things take time."
"You don't think I've been patient?"
I cringed internally. He had been more patient than I had right to ask for.
"You have," I conceded.
"What do you want from me?"
I didn't even know what I was asking of him.
"I wasn't asking for anything." Just you. "Look, can we have this conversation somewhere not so public?"
He nodded and ushered me to his car. Once we were both safely ensconced inside, he pressed the auto-lock button and the sound of the doors locking reverberated through the car. There was no getting out of here or this conversation.
I let him break the silence. "Are you going to tell me what that was about?"
"Are you going to fault me for being jealous of you talking to a beautiful woman?" I countered.
"I wouldn't fault anyone for jealousy. I'm only asking where it came from since you obviously don't feel that way about me."
So this was it – 'the talk'. When I went home with him that first night, I definitely never pictured myself having this discussion.
"Edward, you know you don't have to question the fact that I like you."
"Do I?" he quirked. "Other than sexually speaking, you have been giving me nothing but mixed signals."
"Calling me your girlfriend isn't enough?" I tested it out in my head. Girlfriend. Isn't that what we'd said? Only I couldn't remember if we actually said those words out loud.
"My girlfriend? Doesn't that imply I have some claim on you?"
Just say it, damn it! Say yes!
I didn't know why I still couldn't bring myself to say anything. In the short time I'd known him; he brought out so many feelings in me I wasn't used to. I no longer wanted to go by what my brain was telling me. Everything about him made me want to trust my instincts… and my instincts were telling me this felt good, this felt right. We did feel like we belonged to each other, it was because we did.
"Bella?" he asked softly, bringing me out of my reverie. "We're here."
"Oh," I said lamely, looking around and seeing the Wisconsin Avenue street sign. He pulled over to a questionable parking spot – it was late enough that it didn't matter.
"Are you going to answer my question?" he asked again, his tone slightly impatient.
"Yes."
"Yes, you're going to answer or…?"
I sighed. "I'm tired of fighting this, of trying to keep you at arm's length. I can't promise to tell you what you want to hear, or that I'll never be reactionary, but I'll try. So yes. You can call me your girlfriend. You can call me yours."
He smiled widely and reached over the console to give me a kiss so deep and sensual that I regretted not asking him to stay the night. This kiss claimed me more than any words we uttered, more than him calling me 'his'. It didn't mark me literally, but I felt the possession in my bones. My breathing was ragged as I pulled away.
"Call me tomorrow?" I asked sheepishly. I reached behind me in the back seat and grabbed the bag of shoes he had given me.
His face seemed fixed in a goofy grin. He looked smug and victorious, but I would let him have that tonight. He had won me over.
"Tomorrow," he agreed.
***
I unlocked the door and walking into the apartment. I took my shoes off and placed the bag with the shoes Edward had gotten me next to the door.
I saw Alice on the floor next to the couch meticulously arranging what looked like a pair of very used shoes.
"Alice what are you doing?" I asked curiously. I'd never seen her take so much care on a pair of shoes that looked, by her standards, ready to be thrown away.
"Taking pictures for eBay! Actually, it's great you're back… you can help!"
"Those shoes are really trashed, Alice, I don't think anyone is going to buy them," I said doubtfully.
"That's the point, dummy! These are a total goldmine. A girl at work told me about selling her old shoes. I have a new pair I already have my eyes on."
"And pray tell who is buying your gross shoes?"
"Fetishists? Cobblers? Collectors? Who cares! All I know is there is someone out there who wants my old shoes and is willing to pay top dollar for them."
"Just don't lament to me when the creepy questions start rolling in!"
She shot me a glare. "Just let me put the shoes on so you can take some pictures. Try to focus closely on my feet."
I did as she asked and took several pictures of the shoes on her feet. Afterwards she took pictures of the shoes by themselves.
"This has to be the sleaziest thing you've ever done."
She shrugged. "I don't really see the harm in it. I want new shoes, they want old shoes. It's a good fit."
"Whatever you say, Alice."
"Uh huh. How's Edwaaard?"
"He's fine. We had a very nice date." Or at least we did before and after the fight.
"I just bet you did. What's in the bag?" she quirked her brow towards the door.
"A gift."
"Yes…?"
"A pair of shoes."
She squealed and rubbed her hands together. "Lemme see!"
I sighed and reluctantly grabbed the bag. I pulled out the box and heard her gasp. I ignored it and continued with the shoe unveiling.
"Bella, those are… without words! You know those must have cost a fortune!"
"I know. I feel bad he spent this much, but I've already worn them and it's not like I can return them."
She turned the shoes over and looked at the soles. "They don't look worn."
"They are, trust me."
"Look at you calling me sleazy!"
"Pot-kettle-black, I know. The shoes aren't sleazy, though," I defended.
She looked at me skeptically. "Can you even walk in them?"
"Kind of."
"Huh. I guess they're not really meant for walking."
"Alright, I get it. We can laugh at kinky Bella tomorrow. I need to get some sleep."
"We're definitely going to talk tomorrow. I think there's more than the shoes that we need to talk about."
"Goodnight, Alice," I said in a tone that told her I was done for the night.
"Sleep tight, don't let the bed bugs bite… unless you're into biting." I rolled my eyes at her wink and headed to bed.
A/N: Plz review! You guys are really awesome at it and I'm super humbled because my reviews are always super inarticulate.
Don't forget to check out the FFFA this Friday for the "Castration Frustration" outtake of this story!
PS: It's true! Selling old shoes on eBay is a f'real goldmine. $50 for shoes I was going to throw out? I can deal with a few "tell me what you were doing while you wore these shoes" mixed in with "what is the world coming to? I will you money to throw these shoes out! You are disgusting!" emails (via "ask seller a question") for $$$ to spend for shoes that aren't destroyed.
So while you are shaking your head at how little (to no) shame I actually have, and wondering how deep my love for shoes goes, I promise I only put that part in their for fun (I thought it was funny? Maybe my sense of humor is skewed?). I could see Alice going to new depths for new shoes just as much as I do. PS since someone asked, I don't have a sock fetish! I guess I only mention them taking off their socks because the idea of sex with socks on weirds me out. (not to be confused with "Socks for Sex", a fun and awesome story by Nostalgicmiss and goldentemptress)