Chapter 14, anybody excited? Well, if you are, feel free to skip this, it's not like any of you guys read this anyways…I might start putting up riddles like I did in my other story "Four Years Too Long"…Anybody want that? Yes? No? Awww….
Disclaimer: Still do NOT own VicTORious. Probably never will…
Twenty Questions-Tori's POV-Jade's House- 11:35 PM
I had stepped inside the grand opening, remembering the last time I had been greeted by a half-nude older brother. He was nowhere in plain sight, so I trotted down the hall past Jade's room and past Brian's. I could tell which was which because Brian's had a "Beware Radioactive Material In Use. Keep Out" sign hung on the front of it. I rolled my eyes, not really understanding why boys felt the need to be excessive in their attempts to disgust. There were two more doors down the hallway, one on the right and the other at the end. Although it was childish, I knocked out a quick "eenie meenie miney moe" to decide which one to choose. Landing on the one to the right, I stepped up to it quietly and turned the knob. Opening it carefully, I poked my head inside and examined the interior. Seeing the darkened room, I slipped further in and finally saw the slumbering figure on the other side of the room. I was surprised that he wasn't snoring, but I guess I can't assume that every guy snores. I stepped closer to Zane, noting that he was sprawled over his mattress and his blanket was haphazardly draped over his waist. Not wanting to make Jade wait any longer, I poked him in the ribs. He smacked my hand away, and I though he had woken up. I sighed as he turned over, arm moving underneath his pillow and hand scratching at his stomach. I jabbed him in the chest this time, only to have him grab my wrist and pull me into an awkward-for-me hug.
"Zane…Could you please wake up now?" I quietly begged as his arms tightened their grip on me. His breath on my neck made me shiver involuntarily and I pushed against his chest in a futile attempt to back away. "Zane! This is really awkward!"
"Hmm, five more minutes, gorgeous…" He sighed, snuggling his face into my hair. His facial hair chafed against my skin, reminding me of how my dad would scratch Trina and I when we were little. I figured that enough was enough and I popped him lightly with my hand. His eyes snapped open, piercing blue-green recognizing who exactly he was sleeping with. Surprise and horror flickered over his face, as he immediately let go. "Oh my gosh, I am so sorry! Wait…What the hell are you doing in my house, let alone in my bed?!"
"Let me explain, before you get all pissy with what seems to be a genetic inheritance trait of the West dynasty. Jade and I came back early from the party because Brian was there, and he's drunk as a skunk. We dragged Cat back too, and Jade's saying she's staying here for the night. We need you to help drag Brian's sorry, tipsy butt in from the car." I quickly got out of his bed, noticing the temperature change as soon as I did. I walked over to the door, looking back at his bare torso as he ran his hands over his face. "I'll let you wake up a little bit before getting your little brother."
"Jade's okay, right? No drinking whatsoever?" I raised an eyebrow at his question, noting the lack of care over his brother. I shook my head and he let out a breath of relief. "Okay, I'll be out in a jiffy."
"Okie dokie." I slipped out of his room and shut the door behind me. Walking down the hallway, I noticed that Jade's bedroom door was ajar. Poking my head in like I had done with Zane's, I saw that Jade had tucked Cat in under the black and red covers. Noting that Jade seemed a little lost in thought, I figured she could use an update. "Zane says he'll be out in a jiffy."
"Huh? Oh..okay." She turned towards me, her eyes glazed over. I stepped to the side when she moved past me and out the door. Taking one last look at the room, I noticed that there were various towels covering her mirrors and anything that had a reflective surface. To say I was curious would be an understatement, but I'll leave the questions for something later. I followed Jade back down the hallway and out to the car where she stopped to survey her brother's passed out figure. She was mumbling to herself when I came up behind her.
"What was that last part?" She jumped a little, looking behind her to see me. I heard Brian snore again and she shook her head in response.
"He's lucky that he didn't puke in my car. I would have skinned him alive." She leaned forward and grabbed a dangling limb. Tugging at it, Brian's form moved a little, but only to where he was half-way out of the car's back seat.
"Here, let me get him, Sis." Zane had snuck up behind us and offered to take the limp brother off of our hands. Jade nodded in thanks and pushed a button on her car keys. Seconds later, the car's lock activated and Jade was on her way inside. I watched her enter before looking over at Zane. He had on what appeared to be the same gray sweatpants on, but a light blue shirt covered his torso. Brian was now in his arms, head lolling onto his shoulder. He cleared his throat, drawing my attention back to his face, which held an expression of regret. "Sorry about, earlier…"
"It's okay. I don't blame you. We all do crazy things half-asleep." I was just going to brush it off as that, but his wide grin said otherwise. He shrugged and started trudging towards the house.
"What can I say? I'm a guy who loves to snuggle. You, Tori, are the perfect type to snuggle too." I rolled my eyes, flattered and a little creeped out.
"Uh, thanks? But, I think I'm a little young for you, Zane." He coughed, shaking his head vigorously.
"Ah, sorry. That was really awkward for me to say…I'm blaming it on the sleep." To further his point, a yawn escaped his lips as he stepped over the threshold of his front door. "I'm just going to go drop off dunderhead here and go finish my beauty sleep."
"You do that, I'm going to go locate a certain sister of yours." I waved at him as he stomped down the hallway to the bedrooms. Turning my head and scanning the room in front of me, I deduced that Jade was probably in the kitchen. Finding my suspicions correct, I found her with her head resting on her crossed arms at the island in the middle of the kitchen. Taking the stool across from her, I heard her groan. "Hey, are you feeling okay?"
"This has been one long night…" I heard her mumble from the comfort of her crooked arms. She propped her chin up, rubbing her fists in her tired eyes. "And it's only going to get worse."
"What makes you say that? I think it's gone pretty well so far?" I put my own chin in my tipped palm, gazing down at her from my perch. She rolled her eyes, something I noticed she seemed to do a lot with me around.
"The party was a wreck, Brian and Cat are both drunk, and my med's are wearing off. Plus, I have nowhere to sleep now because of Sleeping Beauty occupying my current residency." She barely stifled a yawn before clunking her forehead down on her arms again.
"What happens when your medication wears off?" I was honestly curious about this. If I was planning on having a relationship with her, I needed to know how she ticked. She always seemed to be reluctant about sharing personal information, unlike her best friend, Cat. Before the seizure and hospitalization, I never even knew that Jade had siblings, let alone two brothers. Now, here I was, sitting in her kitchen late at night after having an awkward incident with the older and having taken care of the younger. It was almost like I was being integrated into the family before I even thought of having something with her.
"Uh…I'd rather not say.." She looked off to the side, her shoulders quivering lightly. She was still in her jacket, so she couldn't be cold. I reached for her hand, taking the pale fingers in my own. Jade-blue eyes glanced up at me, questioning what I was doing as I slowly got up. I pulled lightly, silently asking her to stand up and follow me. I wrapped my fingers around her wrist, reminiscent of how she used to drag me into the janitor's closet. She made no sound of complaint as she slowly followed me to the couch, only sitting after I had. She lazily kicked off her boots, and grabbed the quilt that was draped across the back of the leather couch. Wrapping it around her shoulders, she sniffled as she wiggled further into the cushions. As she got comfortable, I watched her gingerly avoid any contact with the picture frames or the TV.
"Okay, well, if you won't share that information, how about why you won't look at anything that could give you a reflection?" I cocked up an eyebrow, adding to my inquiry and daring her not to answer it. She sighed, turning to face me on the couch.
"I don't really want to answer that either…" She nibbled on her thumbnail, and I found myself mimicking her actions from earlier and slapping her hand lightly. Her eyes narrowed at my actions, before recognizing what she was doing. She took to occupying her hands by rubbing her thighs in what I could only assume as an attempt to warm up.
"You can't expect me to sit here, say yes to be open to a relationship, and be okay with you not opening up about some crucial facts. Can you answer one of those for me?" I saw the indecision play across her features before giving me a slight nod. I leaned against the arm rest, trying to get more comfortable as I planned on being here a while.
"My medication keeps me under control." She started, and I nodded for her to continue. She took a shaky breath, probably to steady herself. "The disease I have is more of a disorder. It's just easier for me to call it that because the word "disorder" makes me seem all the more imperfect. The doctors call it "schizoaffective bipolar disorder". It's easier to explain what it isn't than what it is. It has similarities from both schizophrenia and bipolar disorder, but enough differences to be classified as a different disorder. During my first two weeks of observation, I showed the same psychotic tendencies as schizophrenia, but I had severe mood swings accompanying them. When asked by the psychiatrists if I experienced voices or visions, I was stupid enough to say yes. That almost resulted in me being strapped into a straitjacket. Luckily for me, daddy dearest couldn't stand the idea of one of his offspring being sentenced to a life in a mental hospital, even though he threatens me with it now. Instead, he got the doctors to subscribe drugs to regulate my "psychotic breaks". The medication they have me on calms my thoughts and wipes out anything out of the ordinary. Unfortunately, as I told you earlier, it causes me to be emotionally detached and agitated. It's not fun to watch others get to smile and laugh freely while I can only glower and growl at everything."
"So it's not your choice to be a total gank?" I tried to lighten the mood, only to get a frigid glare from the Ice Queen herself. I raised my hands in a sign of peace and she calmed down. "Continue, please?"
"Once the medication wears off, usually I'm asleep, the voices come back. You were wondering why I'm not looking at anything that has a reflective surface?" She asked, tilting her head to the TV and picture frames. I nodded in response, earning myself a frown that marred her features. "It's because the voices are followed by the visage of her, my mother. She's the only one I've seen so far, and my silly messed up brain brings her up to 'comfort' me. Sick fuck…"
"Your brain isn't silly, nor screwed up." I wasn't one for using that word, although she loved letting it slide off her tongue at any moment. I wanted to choose my next words carefully, not wanting her to shut down on me too quickly. "Moms are supposed to be the ones who kiss our booboos and make us giggle like the little kids we were. Seeing as your mom departed a little early, maybe your brain is trying to compensate for her absence?"
"Perhaps, but every time she gets too close, I end up getting hurt. The last time she did, you were here, and I proceeded to have a seizure right before your eyes. Talk about embarrassing…" She chuckled lightly, shaking her head. "I can't stand the idea of somebody, anybody, seeing me like you have. Everybody sees me as top dog at school, and if word got around of me being weak in the knees and mentally ill, it would ruin my reputation. It's hard enough to stand up to a hotshot like you anyways."
"Jade…" I warned her, already having discussed my dislike of her beating herself up over her supposed "shortcomings". She tilted her chin up, acknowledging my warning with brief arrogance.
"Anyways, this disorder comes with a price, as you have already deduced." She rolled up her sleeves and stuck them out from underneath the quilt. Drawn to the pale skin being presented, my eyes traced the faint scars hidden under dark ink. "I had a psychotic break that night. I had stupidly thrown my medication down the drain in an act of rebellion and anger. Zane had been tossed out of the house earlier during the week due to a recent argument between him and my father. I had come home to dad beating Brian in the living room. In my attempts to separate the two, I earned myself a black eye and a few other bruises. Dad had stormed out after that, and I sent Brian over to a friend's house. That was probably my first mistake right there. Being alone in the house, without my medication, the pictures had started to whisper to me. My crazed mind couldn't comprehend anything logically, and my memories are hazy of what exactly happened. I had managed to break most of the picture frames, shattering the glass to the floor. These scars were self-inflicted, seeing as I had picked up two shards and dug them in myself. I had managed to stumble into my bathtub, where I was slowly bleeding out. Beck had found me, after a frantic call from Brian, passed out in a pool of my own blood. It wasn't enough that I had almost succeeded in killing myself, that I now live with that stupid mistake. My meetings with Lane are to "discuss" how my life has turned out so far. Every day seems like a joke, and there's always that niggling suggestion that if I tried it again, I would succeed."
"Jade…You can't think like that-" I started but she interrupted me, holding up a hand to stop my thoughts.
"I don't. The genetics think those things. My mother suffered from this mental disorder, and she lost the battle. Even if she had three adoring and dependent kids, and a loving husband to support her, she still couldn't beat her ghost. Dad never told us how he found her, of course he hasn't been the same since. I'm determined to beat her, if not for me, then for my brothers, for Beck and Cat. She's the one who stares back at me in the mirror, her voice my siren's call. Whenever she decides to make an appearance, it's always a struggle to push her back. The medication helps keep her at bay; the only times it doesn't is during my dreams. It's hard, but not impossible. I know that my brothers are worried about me, same goes for Beck and Cat. They have every reason to be worried after that stupid stunt I pulled. I have no right to be mad at them for being overprotective and cautious about everything. I just hate that they have to walk on eggshells around me." She sighed, leaning back against her own armrest, drawing the edges of the quilt back around her shoulders again. Her blue-green eyes locked with mine and she quirked up an eyebrow. "Was that a sufficient explanation?"
"Uh..yeah..Definitely.." I stammered awkwardly, not quite prepared for that question. Shaking off the nervousness that had crept back into my mind, I struggled to keep back a yawn. "Do you have a question for me?"
"Sure. Why are you so interested in me?" My mouth dropped open and she leaned forward to close it for me, a sly smirk on her lips. "Well, you going to answer it or not?"
"I guess I'm not used to your bluntness yet…Even though I've known you for three years…Sort of." My mind reeled with possible answers for her. Finding one that suited the dark demeanor that had left as soon as she had finished, I responded. "You're different, from other people, in a good way and sometimes in a bad way. You're never afraid to speak your mind, leading me to think that your brain doesn't have a filter."
"It doesn't, just in case you were wondering." She grinned, her depressing speech seemingly forgotten for now. Rolling my eyes, I continued with my answer.
"You put up a front that you're invincible, but there's fragility to your stance. Now I know why, and it doesn't scare me one bit. No matter how harsh you sounded, or mean you were, you always had a twinge of regret that would flicker in your eyes. Even though must of your barbs were directed at me, I never really took them to heart. Mainly because Cat and Beck would assure me that you didn't mean most of them. You would stand up for what you believed was right, even defending Sinjin from a senior last year! That was shocking to see, let me tell you. Somehow, I just knew you had a heart of gold, hidden underneath the cold front you put forth. I don't blame you, the times are rough and the world isn't known for being all puppies and rainbows. Seeing how you act around your brothers has allowed me to witness a softer side of you. You truly care for your family, and for your friends. Somehow, I never felt uncomfortable or got upset with you. There was just something about you that seemed to draw me to you, like a fly to honey."
"Better than a bug to a bug zapper…" She snickered at her own comparison. I laughed a little, hoping it would never turn out that way. She settled down, reclining against the armrest and fixing me with a half-hooded gaze. "So, are we going to play twenty questions now?"
"I suppose so. Does that count as your first?" I asked, wondering if she would get frustrated with losing one already. She squinted, shaking her head.
"No, that one doesn't count…" She looked off to the side, probably thinking of a good question. She snapped her fingers, a smile creeping across her lips. "Favorite color?"
"Purple, I thought you knew that…" She shrugged, then waited for my answer. "What animal do you hate the least?"
"I love bunnies…" She answered guiltily. I was surprised, seeing as she hated a lot of things. The questions continued for a little while longer, going way past the original twenty limit. Somehow, throughout the whole conversation and questioning, Jade had managed to make her over to my side of the couch and promptly fell asleep with her head resting on my stomach. Not wanting to disturb her seemingly peaceful sleep, I had simply nodded off there.
So, now you guys know what she suffers from. Did any of you guess it right? If you did, tell me! If you didn't, well, still tell me. I love reviews. They're like little presents before Christmas. Well, it's really early where I'm at, so I'm going to go pass out in my bed. G'night all!