Big thanks to triplehhholic for reviewing the last chapter! Yes, the irony of the mystery person doing the exact same gesture as Hunter. The poor guy just wants his family back. LOL.
Well, I'll be propped up nursing my knee til my referral to an orthopedist goes through, to see what my knee-wall collision while rollerblading a few days ago did to it. Sadness for my mobility. But, good for fic writing since I've nothing better to do hehe
I've gotten inspired for this fic, in a way I hadn't originally planned, but I'm enjoying the ride, you could say. This particular chapter took on a life of its own and I decided to split it into two parts because it was around like 4600 words. It's already written, just waiting for the occasionally elusive reviews, so that it can be unlocked from MW word. Enjoy! :-)
Note: this is the same day as in ch. 13
Hunter stood behind Stephanie's chair, waiting until she settled in before pushing it forward slightly.
The waitress, Ana, tucked a stray wisp of brown hair behind her ear and smiled down at Stephanie. "How far along are you?"
"28 weeks," Stephanie beamed up at her. She muffled a groan as she felt a swift kick. "The baby says hello, I think," she laughed.
Ana chuckled and waved at Stephanie's stomach, while Hunter took his seat. "What can I get you to drink?"
"We'll take two waters and one orange juice," Hunter answered, shooting Stephanie a knowing smile.
When they were alone she asked, "So how's your day been?"
Hunter shrugged. "Uneventful. I slept in pretty late. But, I managed a decent workout before I came to see you. So, I'd say things are picking up."
God, she was starting to feel guilty. Wrestling was Hunter's passion and he was taking an indefinite amount of time off, trying to fix what had been broken between them. All he had to do to occupy his time now was work out and train to keep his skills sharp. Other than that, he was mostly sitting around researching restaurants to try and places to take her. She wondered how he wasn't going absolutely stir crazy from boredom, since they only saw each other a few times a week for a few hours at a time. And to top it off, their relationship wasn't full. It was a watered down version of what it had once been.
But, what was she supposed to do? Hunter had chosen to do this and it was mostly his fault they were in this predicament in the first place.
"That's good," she commented halfheartedly. She hadn't a clue what else she was supposed to say.
Hunter caught her lack of enthusiasm and chuckled lowly, raising his menu so that it obscured his face.
She smiled and asked, "What?" If he found something funny, she wanted to know about it, so she could laugh too.
He lowered the menu a fraction, shook his head and replied, "Nothing."
"No, tell me," she insisted.
Hunter sighed and laid his menu down on the table. "You find my day boring and you're starting to feel sorry for me," he said, point blank.
"I-I" she stammered, wondering how the hell she was meant to respond to that. She took a moment to clear her throat before trying again. "Ba," she started before correcting herself. They weren't using pet names just yet. "Hunter. it's not like that."
He chuckled again. "Look at this, Stephanie. You can't even so much as call me 'baby' without tripping over the word. I know that I'm to blame for the way things are. So, don't feel sorry that I don't have more things to fill out my day. I'm determined to mend things between us and until I've done that I can't get caught up in the chaos and traveling of the business."
Stephanie nodded her understanding, but she still felt bad. "I know. But, I can't help but feel responsible that it's taking so long for you to get back in the ring. That it's taking so long for things to be right with us again."
Before Hunter could respond, Ana returned with their drinks and took their food order. Left on their own again, Hunter considered carefully before continuing their conversation. "You're holding back, Steph. And it's mostly my fault that you're scared to let go."
She let out an indignant snort and scrunched her nose up in insult. So what if her husband was right? She had yet to admit that to him and he shouldn't be so presumptuous. "Who said I was scared?"
He smiled at her gently. She was so cute when she was offended or mad. "You're not as inconspicuous as you'd like to think sometimes. Not to me, anyway."
Stephanie didn't say anything, she simply leaned back and sipped at her orange juice while she pouted. Was she really that damn transparent? She didn't bother to counter his comment. There was no point for her to stubbornly stand behind, seeing as Hunter was completely correct. For the most part. It was clear that he didn't know just how deep her fear went exactly. If he did, there was absolutely no way that she could see him carrying on meaningless, lighthearted chatter with her after their food had arrived.
Inside the car, Hunter was telling her about his sudden interest in football. Apparently, he now thought it to be something like wrestling because it was strategic. You isolated your opponent's weakness and then exploited it systematically. To an extent, he felt like the same could be done in basketball games, but those moved at a much faster pace than football did. If he hadn't gone on about it in such detail, she would have sworn she was hearing things. Hunter had never been interested in any sport other than wrestling – not even as a kid. He felt that the fact they had no off-season made their sport incomparable to any other. Clearly, his lack of daily activity was changing that perception, since he now had the time to give other things a real chance.
"Sometimes when I watch, I see a lot of wrestling moves being used. Mostly, the spear and the clothesline," he grinned over at her while he swiftly pulled into a vacant parking space.
He put the car into park and switched off the engine.
"Well, this is new," was her comment while she laughed at his enthusiasm. She had the feeling he would eventually plan on taking her along to a game. Not that she minded. She didn't dislike football, but since she grew up in the wrestling business, it had been her preferential sport. Her views had been much like her husband's. Odds were that if he was able to enjoy it, she would be able to as well. Even if she didn't, she would enjoy simply being with him. They'd had enough separation to last a lifetime, in her opinion.
She relaxed in her seat while Hunter got out of the car and made his way over to her side. He pulled open her door and extended his hand to help her get to her feet. "A lot has changed," he admitted, reaching around her waist to close the door. He lightly touched the small of her back, leading her towards the large building she worked out of. He nodded in the direction of his cherry red Mercedes. "I got rid of the Hummer," he reminded her.
Stephanie smiled and lifted her shoulder in a shrug. "That car was a death trap."
He laughed. "As you've always said. I just decided to take your worry more seriously, since we're expecting and all. It wouldn't be fair for Mommy to have to drive everywhere just because she was convinced Daddy's car would kill everyone," he joked.
She nodded and returned the laugh.
As soon as she had informed him she was pregnant he had wasted no time getting rid of the Hummer, for a safer vehicle. It was amazing that he had managed to accomplish that from the other side of the country. Somehow, she knew that Shawn or Kevin had something to do with how he managed to get rid of his old car and have a new one parked in their driveway without physically being present to do so. He'd told her about what he had done for her, just a couple of days after she told him they were going to be parents. But, because of their intense traveling schedule, she wasn't actually able to see the new car for herself. Not until he had broken her heart and she had immediately returned to their home to collect her belongings.
Tears pricked the back of her eyes at the memory, but she blinked them back. It had been almost five months since that happened, but the wounds hadn't gone away completely. Occasionally, the pain felt just as fresh as it did when the incidents originally occurred.
"Some things stay the same, though," she countered, to distract herself from the struggle to keep a lid on her emotions. "For instance, you still picked cherry red."
"That I did," he admitted. "I like to think of it as a tribute to the truck I abandoned. Old Bessie," he chuckled, pushing open the door to the lobby.
Feeling her hurt vanish entirely for a moment, she laughed loudly. Old Bessie, she thought, completely entertained. She knew good and damn well Hunter never actually named any vehicle he had owned. He thought the idea was ridiculous and didn't understand why people did it. But, still, the idea of him calling such a modern SUV by such an old-school name was hilarious.
She stood by the elevator door, while he walked over to press the button to call it down.
"Another thing that hasn't changed is that I love you," he threw in casually, before glancing in her direction. "Well it's changed a little bit," he amended. "I love you more than ever and I had no idea that was even possible."
Her earlier amusement had been replaced by a stoicism, it seemed. Her jaw was tightened and her gaze was fixed straight ahead. It almost looked like she was trying to mentally force the elevator to arrive. Like she needed rescuing or something. He couldn't be entirely sure, because she refused to even turn her head in his direction. But, he did catch that every couple of seconds she used her peripheral vision to accomplish the goal of looking at him.
The elevator dinged, signaling its arrival on their floor. He stepped on first, pressing the elevator for her floor, before tugging on her hand to pull her over to him. Despite the fact that she was only about two inches from being pressed directly against him, her head was bowed as she stared at the floor. Thankfully, the elevator was totally empty and he could talk to her, without her getting clammed up for fear that they didn't have privacy.
"I feel like I make one step of progress with you, only to be knocked two steps back."
Her gaze remained fixed to the floor. "What are you talking about?" She asked. Her voice was the epitome of calm. And for anybody else, this might have been an okay signal. But, for Stephanie, it was another story. He placed his index finger under her chin and lifted her head.
Stubbornly, she looked up at the ceiling instead of at him, but she couldn't hide it. Her bottom lip quivered ever so slightly and her eyes were watery.
"That night that we talked," he began. "You know, about a month and a half ago. You admitted that you loved me that night. You haven't said it to me since then, Steph. One minute you seem to be dropping this wall you've put up and without warning it's back up again. If I'm doing something wrong or not giving you what you need from me, please tell me. I'm not sure how much more of this I can take. You know, not knowing if I'm making progress here."
Finally, her eyes locked on his. But, apparently, he'd spoken out of turn, because there was no mistaking the flash of anger. As if that wasn't enough to let him know he had pissed her off, she shook his hand off and took a step back. "You don't know how much more you can take?" She asked incredulously. "What about me, Hunter? You want things to instantly be perfect again, but it doesn't work that way," she said fiercely. "I don't work that way. Let's get something straight. You. Fucking. Broke. My. Heart. Okay?"
Hunter chewed on his bottom lip, resolved to not interrupt her. Even if her words were cutting him and she was cursing like a sailor, this was good. They would never get anywhere if they weren't able to be completely honest with each other about their feelings. Truth be told, she had handled all of this with grace. If he didn't know her so well, he would never have had a clue that she was still very bitter and upset about what happened. Around him, she was all smiles and pleasant conversation. Though, after this particular talk he might be in the dog house, this was still better than her pretending things were mostly fine and dandy. Besides, they had a joint counseling session tomorrow anyway. Then they could get a professional opinion about whatever else it was she had to say and discuss it in a rational, mediated fashion.
"I forgive you, Hunter," was her clarification. "I forgive you for everything and I want to make this work just as much as you do. But, that doesn't erase the months we spent apart or the pain that I lived through every day while I felt hopeless and devastated that you didn't believe or trust me. I tried so hard to move on and just make myself get used to the idea that my child would grow up without its father. You didn't have to go through any of this," she pointed out. "All you did was sit around wondering why I hadn't contacted you to apologize." She scoffed and added. "You were angry at my audacity to not come crawling after you for forgiveness. You didn't spend every second of that time with a constant ache in your chest that you had to ignore to get from one moment to the next. So, you'll just have to damn well be patient with me."
"I was hurting too, Stephanie!" He exclaimed, running both of his hands over his ponytail in frustration, making some strands fall out unknowingly. During his entire month and a half long attempt to square things away with her, he'd been calm and gentle with her. After the hell he put her though, it was the least he could do. He had mostly ignored what he himself had gone through without her in his life. "I didn't tell you that because I felt like after what I did to you I didn't deserve to feel pain now...or to have felt any during that time. But, I did," he admitted. "I was sad that you'd lied to me about having our baby, I was sad that you'd readily apologized over lesser offenses but refused to talk to me about this. I was sad that you dropped off the face of the goddamn planet and took all of your stuff with you. I was sad and furious that when I finally found you, you were with Kurt Angle. And now I get to be sad and pissed off at the fact that I had no right to feel any of those things and that I've damaged you so badly that you'll never love me as much as you used to."
Completely and totally overwhelmed by finally unchaining his emotions, he backed away from her and pressed his back against the elevator wall. His throat was dry and burning and he was pretty sure the few beads wetness that dripped to the floor wasn't from a leak in the roof. Not when he could feel it originating from his own eyes.