You guys are amazing! Thank you so much to all of you that reviewed. I really appreciate it. Well anyway, onto the next chapter. I hope you enjoy it!

Disclaimer: Trust me, my name isn't even Stephenie

BPOV

He leaned in quickly and captured his body into my own. My heart began to race as he grabbed my waist with one hand and my face with the other. This felt so right, so natural. It had been so long since I felt completeness like this. Though I had had my share of past boyfriends none of them ever compared to the man who always held my heart.

I could feel Edward's breath caress my lips as he leaned in even closer. Just as our lips were about to meet I pulled away. Edward stood their looking completely bewildered while I continued to move even farther away.

"What is it," he asked walking towards me. I held up my hand in order to maintain the space between us. I needed Edward to know the truth. I needed to let him know that I wasn't the same girl anymore. I wasn't the girl that he had fallen in love with.

"Give me a minute," I instructed him. He of course ignored my request and attempted to move closer to me.

"I can't be away from you any longer Bella," he said. He grabbed my hand and stared at me with such pain and desire. The devastation of his face was so overwhelming.

"Please Edward," I begged him. "I don't….I don't know if I can do this."

"What do you mean," he asked me. "Do you not love me anymore Bella? If you don't I would understand. What I did to you….What I put you through, was absolutely inexcusable."

"Of course I love you Edward," I told him honestly. "I never stopped."
"Then what is it love," he inquired. I closed my eyes and allowed the rain to penetrate my clothing as I walked out further into the yard. I attempted to regulate my breathing but I couldn't stop my heart from racing.

"I don't think I'm Bella anymore," I said to him. "I think…I think I lost her Edward."

"What do you mean," he asked me with petrified eyes.
"I've done things Edward," I explained. "I've done many things that I am not proud of. Without you…I didn't know where to go or what to do. It was almost as if half of me was always missing."

"I'm here Bella," he said pulling me into his arms.

"For now," I said pushing him away from me once more, "but what happens when you decide to leave again? What happens when you see that you and I can never really be?" Edward froze at my words. He stepped back and began to walk in the opposite direction.

"I never meant to hurt you," I heard him say. "I thought… Hell, I don't know what I thought." Rage began to succumb me as I listened to Edward speak. "I suppose you are right though," he said. "I should leave."

"Why is it that you are always the one to leave," I screamed. "Why am I always the one that is left behind?"

"I didn't leave you Bella," Edward said glaring at me. "I only took myself out of the picture; out of your world."
"Bull shit Edward," I bellowed. "You left me! Then you somehow manage to screw up both of our lives and separate us forever! You abandoned me and forced me to rot in this hell hole that I now call my life!" I felt my knees collapse beneath me as I fell to the ground. Tears of anger were now streaming down my face. "I thought you loved me," I cried. "I thought you loved me."

"I did love you," he said rushing to my side. He took me into his arms and cradled me back and forth to sooth me. "I had no choice Bella. I did what I had to do to protect you."

"What did you do Edward," I asked him. He looked away from me and rose from the ground. I grabbed his arm and turned him until he faced me again. "What did you do Edward," I asked him again.

"I can't Bella," he said in a trembling tone. I grabbed his hand in comfort and stood up from the ground. It was now raining harder than ever. Both of us were completely soaked yet I knew neither of us cared.

"You can," I assured him. He took me into his arms again and held me closer than he had ever dared to before. He then buried his face in my hair as I held myself tightly to his chest.

"I didn't want to leave you," he began. "It was never my intention to break your heart. I thought leaving would be the best solution. I wanted you to have an amazing life, a life that I simply couldn't give you.

"When I told you that I didn't love you, I was lying. Every word that I spoke that night was a complete fabrication of my actual feelings. I wanted you to stay with me. I wanted you to be safe. I did everything that I could to protect you but by doing so I began to smother you. I felt you begin to drift away and I just couldn't take it."

"Why didn't you tell me this before," I asked him grabbing his hand.

"What was I supposed to say Bella," he laughed humorlessly. "I don't want you to leave? You didn't want to stay and I could see that."

"No," I disagreed. "I was willing to stay. I thought you wanted me to leave."

"How could you think that," he asked me. "I did it because making you stay would only be unfair to you."

"Leaving me was unfair," I told him. "I would have gone anywhere in this world if it meant being with you. All you had to do was trust me to make my own decisions. If you would have given me the option of staying with you I would have done it gladly."

"You wouldn't have been happy," he said somberly. "Sooner or later you would begin to feel exactly the way Renée feels about Charlie. I didn't want to trap you. You deserved more than Forks, Washington. I was not your destiny; Oxford was. It was your dream and I wasn't about to stand in the way of it."

"You don't know me at all do you," I laughed. He stared at me with confusion as I took a deep breath to calm myself. "You, Edward Masen, have always been my dream. The only reason I even considered attending Oxford was because you told me that it was the right decision. I never wanted to go."

"You really would have stayed," he asked me.

"Yes," I told him honestly.

"What about Jacob," he asked with an evil expression. "Would he have still been involved in your life? Is he still involved in your life?"

"I don't know what would have happened back then," I told him. "All I know is that Jacob is no longer a part of my life. He is my past but you are my future. I love you, you and you alone." Edward began to pinch the bridge of his nose in frustration.

"What did I do," he asked no one in particular. "How could I have been such a fool? If I hadn't been so selfish than none of this would have happened. You and I would still be…"

"Alive," I finished for him. He grimaced at my remark and nodded his head slowly. "We are alive Edward, "I reminded him. "This may not be the life that we chose to have but at least we are together."

"That's just it," he with a vicious tone. "We can't be together."

"Why not," I asked. "Answer me Edward! Why can't we just be together."
"Because you'll die Bella," he said as quickly as he could. I felt my heart stop as he held me even closer. He wept into my shoulder as I caressed his hair. "I made a deal," he continued. "I promised that if you were given a second chance at life, I would stay away from you forever."

"But why, why would you make that deal" I asked him. "What is the point of living without one another? How could I ever be truly happy without you by my side?"

"We were never supposed to meet again," he explained. "I thought that if you never met me then you could be happy. You could meet someone, fall in love, have babies, and grow old. You could have an actual life Bella."

"That wasn't a life," I told him. "Always loving you, always wanting you, but never being able to have you was nearly unbearable for me. Every night your face would appear in my dreams. Some days simply knowing that you somehow existed was the only thing that gave me the courage to live my life."

"I can't stay," he said pushing me away.

"Listen to me," I said grasping his hand in my own. "I would rather die a thousand deaths than live one more moment without you."
"But Bella," he said before I crushed his lips to my own. He instantly became silent as he returned my kiss. We could no longer fight it. This was meant to be.

"I love you Bella," he told me as he kissed me deeper. "I love you so much. Please believe that I never wanted to leave you."

"I believe you," I said. "Please believe that I love you, and that nothing you do or say will ever change that." I began to shiver as the wind began to howl around us. Edward quickly picked me up into his arms and took me inside of the house.

He pinned me securely against the wall kissing me with as much passion as he could muster. My legs snaked their way around his waist as he trailed kissing up and down along my neck. I wanted him, I needed him.

Before I knew it, we were up in his room, on his bed. We had torn our clothes off and they were now piled together on the floor. Thunder pounded through our ear drums as our breathing became heavier and heavier.

"Bella," Edward said suddenly. He removed his lips from my own and pulled away from me. "We can't." I felt the blood rush to my cheeks as the embarrassment of being rejected settled in.

"Did I do something wrong," I asked fighting back the tears.

"Bella no, no," Edward said brushing my cheek softly.

"Then what is it," I asked him. "Do you not want me?"

"Of course I want you," he sighed. "I want you more than anything."

"Then take me," I told him. "I'm yours."

"I know love," he said with smoldering eyes. "Believe me, I know."

"Then what is it Edward," I asked him. He sighed deeply and hid his face between his hands. He was blushing! I had never seen him bluish before.

"In our first life together," he began softly, "I had a plan. I was going to let you make your own decision about leaving for Oxford. But, if you decided to stay, I was going to ask you to…to."

"To what," I blurted out. His laughed filled the room as he kissed my hand lightly.

"I was going to ask you to marry me Bella," he said not meeting my eyes. My breath caught in my throat as he finally met my gaze.

"You wanted to marry me," I asked in shock. Why would anyone as wonderful as Edward ever settle for me as a wife?

"No Bella," he said with a smile. "I want to marry you." He picked up a blanket from the edge of his bed and wrapped it my shoulders. He then reached to floor and pulled back on his jeans. I thought he was going to leave but instead he opened up his closet door and pulled something out. He leaned down to my side cautiously and took my left hand.

"What are you doing," I asked suddenly feeling afraid. Just as he was about to speak we heard the door slam.

"Damn it," Edward muttered throwing me my shirt. "Get dressed!" I did as he told me to do and threw on the rest of my still wet clothing. Two seconds later there was a knock at the door.

"Edward," Alice shrilled. "Open up!"

"Not now Alice," Edward said with a sorrowful smile. "I'm er...busy."

"You have to come quickly," she said in a panic. "Bella is missing!" I attempted to hold my laughter as did Edward.

"I'm sure she's fine," Edward said attempting to sound concerned. "She's a strong girl. She can take care of herself."

"Jacob is looking for her," Alice said. "Jasper just called and said that Jacob has been calling every twenty minutes trying to track Bella down! He said that Bella disappeared almost an hour ago!" This time I couldn't contain my laughter. I opened the door to find Alice practically in tears.

"I'm fine Ally," I whispered to her.

"What is going on," she asked eyeing Edward suspiciously. "Bella what are you doing here…with my brother?"
"Good bye dear sister," Edward said slamming the door shut on his sister. Edward picked me up and took me to the bed where he proceeded to tickle me causing me to yelp in protest.

"Edward stop," I begged him. "No! Let me go!"

"Never," Edward whispered into my ear. "I'll never let you go again Isabella Marie Swan."

EPOV

As I held Bella in my arms, I couldn't help but think what a risk we were taking. I knew that she wouldn't allow me to leave her again and I knew that I couldn't leave her again. We were in this together, no matter what happened. If Bella died I would follow directly behind her.

"What are you thinking," she asked me tracing the curves of my face. I took her palm and kissed it lightly.

"Just how much I love you," I smiled. She too smiled causing my heart to practically fly out of my chest. Alice had finally left leaving Bella and I alone.

"I love you too," she said kissing my cheek, "But I know your lying to me." I buried my face in her hair breathing in her intoxicating scent. I hated the fact that she knew me so well. "What's really bothering you?"

"Are you sure us being together is worth the risk," I asked her. She shook her head and locked her eyes with my own.
"I'm only sure of one thing," she said. "I'm unconditionally and irrevocably in love with you."

"Bella," I said reaching into my back pocket. I pulled out my mother's engagement ring and held it tightly inside of my hand. "Alice interrupted us before, so I was never able to ask you that question I have been meaning to ask you for quite some time now."

"Question," Bella said starring at me with wondrous eyes.

"Bella," I began. "I understand that you're afraid, but love, I want to be able to call you my own before I become one with you. I want you to be my wife." Tears began to fall from her eyes and I held out the ring. I got down on one knee and took her hand into my own.

"Isabella Marie Swan?" I said slowly. "I promise to love you for forever-every single day of forever. Will you marry me?"

Wow! Massive cliffhanger I know. If you review though you'll find out what happens, if not it may be awhile. I'm auditioning for a musical tomorrow and if I get a part it will become even more difficult to update. But, if you guys review I will find time to update. Thanks for your support guys! Wish me luck!