Kuai stepped back slowly, feet sliding across the wood in a subtle shift of weight. He turned the angle of his feet, planted a step and spun, turning his body weight into the movement. Heavy hand down, upper cut rising high, weight shift, weight shift, down, whole body churning momentum in step, step, step- and there'd be another one to follow but the bedroom was much smaller than the sparring rooms back home. He did a little shuffle back and finished the line of the form, his punch lightly grazing the far wall.
He sighed. Bi-Han hadn't come home last night. He didn't feel energised to do anything, least of all martial arts forms. He sat down in the middle of the floor and held out his palm before him. He concentrated, breathing out slowly. Cold ran through his veins and a white cold mist shrouded his fingers. His fingertips cased in a thin veil of glittering ice. He concentrated harder. In his palm grew a snowflake. He tilted his head as he urged it to grow. It fractalled and spread in his palm, its spindly arms growing tiny arms of their own in an unending pattern of frosted beauty. The heave of a giant engine and rush of expelling breaks heralded the arrival of the school bus. He leapt up and the ice shattered on the floor. He pulled on odd socks and slipped his shoes on without the laces done up. He grabbed his satchel and ran out the front door, jumping the puddles from last night so his laces didn't get wet.
By fifth period he was tired and sad and lonely. He hadn't eaten much since the day before and was feeling homesick. He just wanted to get back on the bus and have done with everything. He was in an art class. Art classes only happened once a week. Kuai usually enjoyed them. He liked listening to the different things the teacher taught them and trying them out for himself. Today they were painting self portraits. Kuai's page was blank. He stared coldly at the small hand mirror propped up in front of him. His eyes were dark ringed from waiting up late and getting up early to practice his form. The face in the mirror looked angry and irritable and a lot like Bi-Han. He flipped the mirror down and looked at his blank page. It was blank like the Lin Kuei Temple in winter. He picked up his brush and dipped it in the grey paint.
Forty minutes later the teacher came round and paused at Kuai's shoulder. A grey severe rearing fortress stood stark in a white mountain landscape, with dark brooding skies above.
"Tao, that's very nice… but, we're painting ourselves today," The teacher said kindly.
"I have painted myself." Kuai stuck his brush defiantly back in the water jar. He stuffed the wet painting in his satchel and pulled his coat on.
"Tao, it's another twenty minutes before school ends."
Kuai stalked out the classroom. Behind him, Jia wiped paint coloured hands on her apron and pulled it off. She grabbed her things and ran after Kuai. She caught up with him and punched his arm lightly.
"Not that way. Mr Martin stands at the reception area making sure no one sneaks out early. Follow me."
Kuai found himself walking along the sea front with Jia, throwing stones at the slate grey sea.
"You ever had burgers before?"
"Yep." Kuai pulled back a hand and let launch. His stone sailed through the air and hit the back of a wave with a loud plop.
"Well, it's burgers tonight at mine. And you're coming."
Kuai threw another stone.
"Just warning you though," Jia sounded hesitant. That made Kuai look up, "I've kind of got a lot of siblings. And they're all really annoying. I've got an older brother, he's ok but loves the rules too much. And two older sisters," She counted on her fingers, "And three younger sisters. Two are twins. And the little one is really small and really loud."
"That is a lot," Kuai admitted.
"Yep." Jia yawned and stretched.
Kuai's mood dissipated a bit in curiosity,
"I haven't met any people younger than me before. Many people, I mean." He corrected quickly, in case that was strange. "What's it like having little sisters? Do they look up to you?"
"I mean I guess. But mostly they're just loud and annoying or clingy and want things. Like, 'Jia, draw me a horse', or 'Jia, I want to play with Mia's toy, she won't give it to me'. Ugh."
Kuai's cheeks warmed. He liked the sound of having little siblings who looked up to you.
"Come on, come meet them if you don't believe me. But I'm warning you, they are the most annoying."
Kuai had seen the tower blocks from a distance, but he had never quite appreciated how big they were. The roads were cut into the hillsides so as to steer around them, and screen of tall high trees hid the true extent of the grey concrete jungle behind them. The towers looked less like houses or even like the silvery skyscrapers from the city centre. Kuai thought they looked like grey versions of the plastic multicoloured counting units in the maths room. The ones with small holes that you could keep stacking and stacking and stacking on one another until they were a high tall wall of tiny little holes in a flat monotonous surface. He hesitated when he saw them. The main road did not bend into this part of town and the towers were sheltered from view beyond by the rear screen of every other building on the main street. Kuai felt like he was walking into a different world.
"Pretty cool, huh? And to think Nianzu's dad wants to pull it down. Come on, I'll show you where I live." She ran down a number of streets then leaned back shielding her eyes from the little sun that made it between the towers. She squinted and pointed,
"See that red cloth hanging off that balcony?"
Kuai squinted with her, tilting his head all the way back, he shook his head.
"Hmm. It is hard to see. Ok, well, do you see that big white sheet there? One, two, three, four, five, six up from the ground floor?"
Kuai squinted again and his neck hurt. He nodded.
"Okay, count ten up from that. That's the red blob of the sheet. And the red blob is two along from our window. Mrs Lang always dries her red tablecloth out the window. My brother's always telling her not to because it's so big he says it'll catch the wind and fly away! But I like it, I think it makes our floor look like a pirate ship!"
Her enthusiasm was infectious. Kuai found himself captivated as they rode the lift up to the sixteenth floor and she told him her favourite pirate stories and how she turned them into games.
"The problem with playing games though," She explained as they got off and entered a narrow concrete corridor, one side open to the elements with only a steel railing between them and the long drop, "...is I'm the only one who plays them right. My little sisters always want to join in and they never do it properly, then I get told off when they get upset at me going off and doing my own thing! Maybe you'll play games better than them." She turned around. Kuai had stopped in the lift door, eyes fixed on the railings. Far below, cars moved the size of Kuai's fingernail. The world was like a map spread out for one of Bi-Han's missions, so distant and miniscule compared to real life.
Jia laughed,
"Hahah, yeah it is a long way. Don't worry though, you get used to it. Just got to watch the baby close to the edge."
Jia's flat was bigger than Kuai's but it was hard to tell, because it was filled with so many more things. Kuai didn't think he'd ever seen so many things all in one place before. There were so many things that he couldn't focus on any one thing and say what Jia's house had in it. He stepped over something on the floor, a toy maybe, and had to move gingerly through the debris of little coloured bricks on the floor like a Lin Kuei stealth test. There was a television on playing cartoons and a large clock on the wall and a mirror and a some paintings and a leaning coat stand fat and bulging with coats of all shapes and sizes and colours, and underneath, like a votive offering, a jumbled stack of many sized shoes and wellington boots. He turned as he walked, as if stepping into a palace and wonderstruck for where to look.
Jia slung her satchel down onto what might have been a sofa, save it was hidden under other things that had been slung there at previous times.
"Is Mama in?" She called. "Hey! Someone answer me!"
"Stop shouting in the house, Jia." A young man put his head round the door. He had smart combed hair and wore and apron and held a metal spoon in one hand. "Oh," He smiled, a little disarmed at seeing Kuai, "You didn't say you were bringing a guest, Jia."
"This is Tao. Can he stay for tea?"
The young man nodded, but Kuai could see he was a little put out. Kuai glanced at the door and wondered if it was too late to leave. The young man returned to his cooking and immediately the sound of sizzling and hissing from a small side room returned. Kuai hugged his arms around him, feeling out of place in the clutter. Back home there was a bamboo mat held together with tough thread. The mat could role up into a long cylinder about two inches wide. You rolled it out or you rolled it away. That was the only thing in a Lin Kuei room. Clothes were placed fresh outside the door every day by servants. A blanket could be used in autumn and winter. And outdoor shoes that were kept near the door to the yard. Shoes were in the sizes small or large. They slipped on or off, and were replaced by the door when not in use. Everything had its place, its time, its purpose. Jia's house felt a lot like Hong Kong in miniature. Everywhere there were things even where they perhaps weren't needed. And if you needed somewhere to put something, you stacked it on something older and hoped it didn't fall over.
"There." The young man stepped out of the steaming kitchen and into the main room, he balanced his spoon over one shoulder and smiled at Kuai, "Had to stop the garlic from burning. So, Tao, what's your secret?" Kuai's insides went cold at the question. "How'd you manage to get on with Jia?"
The young man laughed as he dodged Jia throwing a pencil at him. Kuai's heartbeat returned to normal and he felt silly. He looked at Jia playing with her brother and smiled shyly.
"Li-heng Ru." The young man introduced himself to Kuai.
"Pleased to meet you Mr Li-heng," Kuai put his fist and palm together and bowed in greeting.
The young man smiled again,
"Just Ru is fine. I'm Jia's brother and these..." He gestured to an array of faces that seemed to have popped out of the clutter and various doorways, "Are her sisters!"
Kuai blushed at the attention. Two faces looked very young and two others looked older than him. One held a bundle of blankets in her arms that squirmed and gurgled. Kuai's mouth opened and he took a step towards the bundle. His nervousness faded as he watched the blanket twitch. He edged closer and peered down. A small round face with big eyes and pudgy lips stopped squirming and stared at him. The bundle reached up a stumpy hand and placed it on his nose. Kuai blinked and pulled his head back. He placed his finger next to the hand and marvelled at how tiny it looked. The hand grabbed his finger and shook it, turning to look at its sister and gurgling. Kuai stared. All he could think of was that the age gap couldn't have been so different when Bi-Han looked down for the first time at his new brother. He looked up at the girl holding the baby.
"That's a really small person."
Jia's siblings all laughed and Kuai smiled shyly again.
"Come on, Tao, you don't want to look at dumb babies, lets go play." Kuai did want to look at dumb babies, but Jia grabbed his arm and led him to a room filled with triple decker bunk-beds. Kuai's eyes went wide again.
"Beds on beds on beds!"
"Those are pirate ships." Jia corrected. "Here I'll show you." She swung agilely up to the top bunk and tugged the slip of a pillow and hung it off the bed corner, "That's the flag."
Kuai nodded appreciatively. Jia stared at him impatiently.
"Tao, you're still standing in the sea. Either you have to be a crocodile or you need to get on a ship. I'm Madame Ching. You can be some pirate whose almost as good, if you can think of one."
Kuai had never played any games that had make-believe in them before. Not like this anyway. His brother had told him to pretend things before. Like the first time he had been beaten by teachers for failing a lesson. Bi-Han had told him to pretend there wasn't any pain, and to put on a face that hides things that hurt. Or whenever he was afraid, Bi-Han had told him to pretend there was no fear, that way he at least wouldn't get in trouble for it. If he thought back a long way, and closed his eyes very tight, he could remember being in a small dark closet with the door cracked open only ajar enough to show a thin line of light. There had been footsteps and shouting and crying and the sound of things breaking. And Bi-Han's arms were around him, but not strong and steady like he always remembered, but much smaller. And he could remember Bi-Han telling him this was a game, it was all a game, none of it was real, to stay very quiet, to play this hiding game and stay very quiet so that the outside noises did not come close to their haven. He shook his head. That last memory could not have been accurate. Bi-Han never played games.
Ru called them through for dinner, but as he did, the door clattered open and in bustled a woman in a purple anorak. She couldn't quite hang her shiny plastic coat up on the coat stand, but managed to balance it on the top of the bursting pile. She kicked off her shoes and ran her hands through her dishevelled hair. There were hard lines in her face and a sharpness to her eyes. She didn't even seem to notice there was an extra face among her children as she came through to the kitchen.
"Ru, you've made dinner. Good, thanks. I meant to get back in time, but-"
"It's alright, Mama, don't worry about it."
"Right." She seemed distracted and like only her body had arrived home and perhaps her head was still somewhere else. "I mean, I know I promised I'd cook this evening."
"You didn't, that was last week."
"Right, yes. That's it. Well, I appreciate it, Ru." She disappeared into a cupboard momentarily. Jia trailed after her,
"Mama, come and meet my friend!"
"Not right now, Jia, I have to get ready,"
"But he's staying for dinner, that's ok, right?"
"Mm, of course. You been good, Jia? No more calls from school?"
"Uuh..." Jia glanced towards the kitchen where Ru was dishing dinner. She smiled inoffensively and sidled out of sight, letting the question drift unanswered into the general din of the apartment.
They ate burgers for dinner with fried mushrooms and spring onions and sweet chilli sauce. They didn't eat at a big western table like at school or at Kuai's new home, or at a low row of tables like back at the Temple. They ate every man (or woman, seeing as there were a lot more sisters than brothers) for themselves all arranged in the living room snug amidst a pile of clothes or toys, with a view of the television screen. The screen showed cartoons, with words in Cantonese that went too fast for Kuai to catch, but he liked watching the characters and the way the pictures moved. Most of all he liked eating his burger and watching the screen in amongst all these other little people his age. Most of them were a bit shy like him and just got on doing their own thing, but appreciating each other's company. He liked that.
Jia's mother sat perched on the edge of a chair filled with miscellaneous things. She had a transient bird-like quality to her, and the angle of her shoulder suggested she wasn't watching the television. Her eyes were distant as she thought something over. Kuai thought they reminded him of Bi-Han's eyes, when he stopped listening and started turning over mission details in his head. Jia's mother finished her burger quickly and washed up her plate in the kitchen. She put one pan in to soak then went to the door and slipped her shoes on.
"Again?" Said Ru.
Jia's mother pulled her purple waterproof off the hanger,
"I don't have the luxury of hanging about all day. I shouldn't be back too late."
"Really."
"Ru, I don't have time for this again. I'll see you all later. See you later darlings." She smiled at the room and buttoned up her jacket. She opened the door and was about to go when she noticed Kuai, she paused in confusion, but already had one foot out the door. Kuai could see her mentally shrug and leave.
After dinner Jia took him to one side. She had that look on her face like she was about to confess something. Kuai's heart sunk, Jia confessing things usually meant having to run from trouble, get into a fight, or lie to a teacher.
"Um," She twisted her fingers together, a bit like Kuai did under one of Bi-Han's interrogation stares. "You know when Nianzu said that rubbish stuff about my mother..."
Kuai's face evened and became gentle. He nodded slowly.
"Well it's not true!" Jia's face became indignant, "My mother isn't a criminal!"
Kuai nodded quickly,
"Ok, I believe you. Who believes Nianzu about anything anyway."
"No, but I mean..." She looked frustrated, "Can you keep a secret, Tao?"
If only she knew, Kuai thought, but he only nodded vigorously in response. Jia took a deep breath and frowned, she glanced over her shoulder and beckoned Kuai to follow her quietly. Kuai took the mission deadly seriously, spreading his toes and his weight to move silently, leaning into the shadows and keeping his movement slow and regular to avoid detection. Jia hopped across the corridor from the girls' room over to a bedroom with only one bed. From the colour of the walls and the boring patterns on the curtains, Kuai suspected this was an adult's room. Jia beckoned him quickly away from the door and round the far side of a double bed spread with a plain linen sheet. She got down on her tummy and shimmied under the bed. Her finger stuck out from under it and summoned Kuai. Kuai joined her. Under the bed was a place of fluff and forgotten toys and old creased leather suitcases.
"Look," Jia said. She unstrapped a black plastic watch from her wrist and pressed a button on the side that made it glow faint green. She pointed the green light at the skirting board. Kuai frowned. A black square line was cut into the wood there. Jia got her nail in the crack and prised it open. She shone her torch into the hole. Kuai drew in his breath. Within was a handgun. Jia nudged the gun out of the way with a finger and reached for something shiny and gold. "My mother only pretends to be a criminal," She said and opened her hand to show Kuai a badge, "She's still in the police, but she has to pretend for her work to be a criminal. Everyone talks shit about her. But I know she's still good and everyone else can go to hell!"
Kuai blinked at her angry words and took the police badge in his hands, turning it over in his palm. He gave the badge back reverently to Jia, and she replaced it in the hideaway and set back the panel. Jia's face was solemn and serious. Before she rolled out from under the bed, Kuai said to her,
"I think your mother's a badass."
Jia's smile returned after that and she was warm and open. But Kuai couldn't shake a feeling of guilt that came from keeping the secrets of other's and not sharing one's own.
Author Note: I'm gonna own up right now. Between Kuai misjudging how much space for his form he needs and Jia wondering why her siblings suck at pirate games- this is a very autobiographical chapter :p