The epilogue is nearly written... it will follow next.

---

Knowing and Walking

Chapter Fourteen

Fall Into Place

---

Still on duty mode, she thought, hearing the tiny noise of a knock at the front door. You're in Zion, relax. She eyed Neo, still asleep beside her, and slowly extricated from the sheets, leaving them totally undisturbed around him. He slept on as she stepped quietly out of the bedroom and to the front door, while whoever was at the door knocked a third time, much louder and insistent. She recognized the man she found on the other side, tall, dark blond, muscular with a square face - one of Commander Locke's subordinates, though she had never quite learned his name. She tried to avoid the man enough to be sure of that.

"Lieutenant," he began, glaring at her menacingly, almost as menacingly as she might have glared at him. "I am to inform you that you have been ordered to report to a council meeting today at ten o'clock." He backed up a step, and began to leave.

"Regarding?" She knew the answer, but still she asked.

"The Commander -" He spoke the word as if he were talking about God, and it infuriated her immensely. "- spoke with your captain this morning about your newest recruit. He has requested a follow-up council meeting."

She glanced quickly at the clock - just before nine - and then met his glare head on. "I can only imagine the Commander exaggerated the situation tremendously in order to receive a full-council meeting within hours of his own."

"Commander Locke was rightly concerned by your captain's blatant disregard for simple and obvious laws, regulations and precautions, as he has been for years. The Commander feels that such behavior cannot be allowed to continue."

"Of course not," she replied coldly. "I'll be there." He seemed about to say something, but was cut off by a door slamming in his face.

---

The council chambers were surprisingly empty, even though she entered only minutes before the meeting was set to begin. Commander Locke sat at his table with an aide - different from the one who had summoned her - reviewing something on his computer. Morpheus was there as well, at the other table, speaking sporadically with Tank, sitting behind him. The crew of the Logos - Niobe especially - sat in the ascending bleachers, several rows up and away from both Locke and Morpheus. She moved slowly down the steps, settling in beside Morpheus.

"Long time no see," Tank greeted wryly. "Where's Neo?"

"He won't be joining us," she said quickly, standing with the rest of them as the door on the far wall opened and the council began filing in. Councilor Hamann, in the center as always, called the meeting to order, and they all sat again.

"It has been brought to our attention by Commander Locke," he began, "that Captain Morpheus has allegedly violated Zion law and fleet protocol by freeing a mind that is well above the maximum age limit. Correct?"

Locke stood again, with very formal posture. "Yes, Councilor." Trinity caught the quiet glare that was sent their way - barely detectable, but there. "This man is approaching 31 years of age. Both Captain Morpheus and Lieutenant Trinity were aware of this fact when they first began monitoring him as a potential for unplugging. Furthermore, both officers failed to file a preliminary report, despite having planned his extraction for several months. They also failed to file a report after the fact. I'm recommending a removal from active duty for both officers as well as -"

Hamann cut him off. "Thank you, Commander, that's all we needed to know." It was good to know that they had at least one ally on the council, even if that was only because Hamann once served on the Nebuchadnezzar himself. "Lets hold off on the prison sentences for the time-being, shall we? Captain, is the Commander incorrect in any of his statements?"

Morpheus stood as well. He seemed to be trying to stand just a little taller and straighter than Locke. "No, Councilor. All of that is accurate."

"I see." Then he turned to Trinity. "Lieutenant." And she stood, just beside Morpheus. "You were aware of this as well?" She nodded firmly, but remained quiet. "And the rest of your crew, they knew?"

"Yes, sir."

"Anyone else, outside of your crew?"

She sighed quietly, wishing she did not have to involve anyone else in this, but knowing there was no point in lying. "I told the lieutenant of the Logos in confidence, councilor, as a personal matter between friends. He later informed Captain Niobe of Neo and his age -"

"What?!" Locke exclaimed suddenly. Nearly everyone in the chamber turned to find him staring, stunned and outraged at Niobe, who merely returned the look with a fierce one of her own.

Trinity turned slowly away, and continued speaking as if there had been no interruption. "We also enlisted the help of the Icarus. One of their crewmen was an old acquaintance of Neo's, we asked him to help arrange a meeting."

Councilor West was next to speak, in the haggard but authoritative voice that was so distinctly his. "That's an awful lot of people not doing their jobs, Lieutenant."

Sparks blurted suddenly, "Your honors?" It would seem that in those three days on the Neb, morally obligated to keep quiet, he had a lot of wisecracks backed up that needed to get out. "I just want to make it clear to everyone that I had no idea about this until skinny little grandpa popped his head up when we went to help the Neb, so I don't -"

"Shut up, Sparks!"

"I just want to let everyone know who's done what, Captain."

"I think we've all established that," Councilor Grace said loudly, bringing the room back under control. "But we have yet to get an explanation at to why so many people would violate such important laws and protocols." No one spoke for several seconds, and everyone looked around at each other. "Feel free to start at any time."

Trinity eyed Morpheus carefully, waiting and watching as he gathered the nerve to explain himself. "I chose to unplug Neo because he is the One, Councilors."

Locke's muttered immediately, "Not this bullshit again." But the room was otherwise silent.

The councilors glanced amongst each other, exchanging looks of worry, doubt, surprise, and a few of hope. Hamann was the first to speak, finally. "Morpheus, I would be very careful about choosing your next words. Would you care to clarify?"

"There is nothing to clarify, Councilor." All of his confidence and certainty had returned. "Neo is the One, as prophesied by the Oracle."

"Council, I would like to add to my recommendation for punishment a very long stay in the mental ward of the hospital for the Captain -"

"Commander -"

Locke was getting more and more livid by the second, and his voice grew vicious at the same time. "Must I remind the Council of this man's previous claims regarding his precious One?"

Morpheus' calm was almost unnatural. "Whatever I have said before is -"

"This man has unplugged five persons he believed to be the One -"

"I was very wrong about them, and -"

"And you may also recall that only one of those five lived even three months out of the Matrix -"

But Morpheus was still human, and his patience was waning quickly. "And became one of, if not the best fighter this city has ever seen. But they are irrelevant to Neo -"

Well, that part wasn't entirely true, she thought with a tiny smile.

"You forget, Captain, that in this room, you are in the minority with your beliefs -"

It was, in all likelihood, simple fascination that kept the Councilors quiet. Trinity was certainly curious to see how this increasingly childish bickering would turn out.

"The truth of something is not decided by how many people believe in it. Neo is the One. That much has been proven."

"How?!"

"Jason, do us all a favor for a few minutes, and can it. You may proceed Captain, same question."

The triumphant, I told you so smirk Morpheus shot Locke was perhaps the first one she had ever seen cross his face. "Neo was trapped inside the Matrix when the sentinels were attacking our ship. During that time, he fought off an Agent and killed it once. As he reached the exit he was cornered and shot nearly a dozen times in the chest by that same Agent." Ever the dramatist, Morpheus paused there, surveying the myriad of looks from around the room - looks of mere surprise, or disbelief, some searching desperately for comprehension, and one - only one, surprisingly - that accused him of lying. "He stood up as if nothing had happened. The three Agents attempted to shoot him again, and he stopped dozens of bullets in midair. He then proceeded to delete - not merely kill, but permanently delete - the Agent. And if the Commander should choose not to believe me," he continued, glaring at the man firmly and unwaveringly now, "as I suspect will no doubt be the case, he is free to simply wait until he notices that he has suddenly stopped hearing Agent Smith's name in mission reports."

Locke was seething, arms braced rigidly against the table before him once he could no longer bear to look at Morpheus, or Trinity, or any of them. Raging blood quickly turned his face a lethal shade of red. "I don't supposed you have any documented proof of this?" he muttered ferociously.

"No, I do not. Our short-term logs were destroyed in the EMP blast."

"How convenient for you." He finally erected himself again, eyes fixated on some point beyond the Councilor's heads, but speaking directly to Morpheus. "How convenient also that this Neon -"

"Neo." The menacing, threatening correction was out of Trinity's mouth before she even realized she was the one speaking.

"- is not here to testify on the matter himself."

Getting desperate, are we? "Councilors, Neo is absent on my orders, not the Captain's," she explained, much more calm now. "I felt it would be best that we deal with all of this without him present, for his own protection."

"Protection from what, exactly?"

"Well," she mused, turning from Hamann to Locke, all spite gone from her expression, just a smooth, matter-of-fact surface. "You, mostly." He faltered instantly, though he should have been expecting that answer.

"Lieutenant," spoke West, "we have yet to hear your opinion."

"My opinion of what, sir?"

"Of Neo, if what Morpheus says is really true."

Trinity stood her ground in somber silence, debating and weighing her options. She thought of Neo, back in her apartment, probably eating by now, bored senseless. (Perhaps she should borrow some books from Ghost, but that was not the point.) She could never hope to hide him, not the One. People would find out about him eventually, and so, some time after that, they would inevitably find out about her. But still, she could hold out as long as she possibly could, and they could be together in peace, for a little while, before the worshiping masses set up camp at their - or his, maybe - doorstep. Perhaps the white lie of a merely acceptable reason for her belief would suffice, for now, anyway.

"Well? What's your verdict?"

Locke smirked this time, half in relief and half in triumph. "I can tell you myself what she'll say, Councilor. At least one person in this room seems to be on my -"

How dare you - "He is the One, Councilors." How dare you presume to know my mind. I've never told you what I think before, how dare you presume to know. "There is not a doubt in my mind, he is the One."

Councilor Hamann - he knew her better than any of the others - studied her carefully for a long moment. "I must admit, Trinity, I never would have thought you the type. What prompted this new faith of yours?"

She sighed quietly. "I'm not speaking of matters of faith, sir -" Oh, yes you are, that's just no concern of theirs. "- this is a simple matter of fact."

"I'm very curious as to how you came to that conclusion."

This man was really beginning to try her patience. How did Niobe stand him? "Morpheus has given you all the explanation that you need," she began with inhuman stillness, the quiet fury that was apparent only in her eyes. Still on duty mode, maybe, but duty mode was what gave her the most control over herself and her own power. "I will gladly attest to everything he has told you - as a matter of fact I was standing right beside Neo when he died, and when came back over a minute and a half later. He stopped bullets in midair and deleted an Agent. If that is not enough evidence for you that a Believer, at least, would call him the One, I suggest you go down to the Temple and ask the first person you see praying about the last One and the Prophecy."

No one seemed to know how to respond, and the room was plunged into an immediate silence.

Locke - surprise, surprise - was the first to break out of the communal daze. "Council... while I am highly disinclined to believe what either of these two are saying, especially given what has happened to the crew of the Nebuchadnezzar -"

"Don't you dare bring them into this -"

"- clearly we cannot ignore the possibility that there is something severely wrong with this man." If only that old cliche were true, the one about the look that kills. If he had even managed to survive this far, after this many encounters, by tonight he certainly would be dead and buried. "It is imperative that we interrogate and test this man to determine -"

"Pardon the interruption, Commander, but there are a few ground rules concerning Neo that I forgot to mention." Had she not been so preoccupied and enraged, she might have taken pleasure in the look on Locke's face, that stunned look, amazed (wrongly, of course) that she would dare go this far. "Anything regarding Neo, at least until he is able to make such decisions for himself, must be cleared through me. Any questioning, tests, training, or whatever else you may decide is necessary will not be done without my knowledge or consent, and anyone who dares cross the line will be dealing with me. You want to know how I'll protect him, Commander?" Every last bit of fury was channeled directly from her eyes into his. "Push me just far enough and you'll find out."

"Trinity," Councilor Grace chided with a mother's tone, silencing whatever the younger woman may have wanted to say next. " I suggest you step back for a moment and consider that what you are saying is severe insubordination and is punishable by court-marshal."

Trinity's calm returned, but this time without the fiery core. She sighed deeply. "I'm sure the Council has had enough experience with me to know that threat of a court-marshal will not prevent me from speaking my mind. I would also expect some of you in particular to know that I am only doing this for Neo's protection."

The twelve aged men and women leaned back in their chairs, whispering to each other in hushed tones and small lip movements. As the seconds ticked by, it became apparent to all those in the room that they were slowly taking up Trinity's side.

"I can't believe what I'm hearing," Locke seethed. "Is the council really about to let these two off for such serious crimes and insubordination just because the Captain thinks he can get away with it if he claims yet again that his latest pod-born -"

Something snapped. She felt it snap, heard it rip through her inhibitions as if they suddenly had no more strength than tissue paper. Control was left alone, though, left strong and vibrant. It felt strange, to have control but no inhibitions to be ruled and reigned in, a paradox of sorts. And it was that incongruous mixture that flowed through her veins like fire as she shouted, suddenly, loudly, "I love him." And let the masses and their alone time, the war and their privacy be damned. "You want proof? There it is. The Oracle told me that I would fall in love with the One, and I have fallen in love with Neo. No amount of disbelief or ridicule from you or anyone else will change that. I have final control over what happens to him, period. If anyone else has control, they will go too far. Neo has barely begun to comprehend this himself and the last thing he needs is pressure and tests and interrogations from anyone, or whatever potential he may have could be compromised or lost completely because of people with too much faith or too little. You want to see what he can do, fine, but it will be on my terms. And I guarantee that the Council has known me long enough to know that I will do what I know is right, no matter what the consequences."

In the long, drawn-out moments that followed, as the Councilors - and everyone else, for that matter - tried to pull themselves out of their shock, the fire in Trinity's blood faded quickly, the last little spark settling deep within her, hell-bent on staying right there. Her inhibitions stitched themselves back together, wrapped around her once again. The Councilors, once they pulled themselves out of their own reverie, exchanged sidelong glances amongst themselves, silently debating. It was Hamann who finally looked up, who finally eyed Trinity for a long time, shook his head as a father might, and sighed. "Well, clearly, we have a lot to consider. The Council will adjourn -"

"Councilor Hamann!"

"That's enough Commander, we are all aware of the legal charges and your opinions - professional and otherwise - of Morpheus and Trinity, and they will be taken into consideration, but so will everything else." He gave Locke a little glare of his own, to try to silence him for good this time, before turning back to her. "Trinity, we will need to meet this man and see what he can do sooner or later. Yes?"

"Of course, sir."

"All right. We'll discuss that later on. This meeting is adjourned. Don't kill each other on the way home." They all rose at once, and filed out as perfectly as they had filed in, as if this had been any other routine, all-fleet meeting.

They all managed to follow the order - only a few menacing glances and glares were exchanged, intermixed with a few smiling ones. Locke skulked off, presumably back to his offices, and the two crews seemed to be converging - to talk, to go get some food, she would never know. She, too, slipped away through a side door, blending into the morning crowd once she hit the main streets, and beginning the journey back up to her quarters, and to Neo. Somehow, by some means that she did not totally understand but that did not surprise her one bit, speaking about him like that, defending him, declaring her love to the most powerful people in the Real World, made her want to be with him, to crawl into bed beside him if he still slept, and to kiss him and melt into him if he was awake. When she rounded the curve of the street and came to the catwalk that would carry her to the elevator, she found herself sprinting across to join the small group already waiting before the closed doors. She could barely contain this sudden elation, and could barely keep a ridiculous smile from her lips. The doors finally parted, and after one group left the elevator, Trinity's group entered it, and they began their ascent.

With each floor they rose, she became more and more convinced that this elevator was hexed, because with each floor they rose, more and more of her happiness slipped away. No, not just her happiness - all emotion, everything she felt inside, great or small. Little by little, it all disappeared, blown away by the wind passing outside the elevator, a bit trapped on each floor, until she reached her own level with almost nothing left. And even then, each step took a little bit more, left a little bit more of her heart in her dusty footsteps. She tried to stop, to hold on to whatever was let, but the hex had already worked its magic, and was intent on stripping her bare no matter what she did to fight it.

When she finally made it to her door, the hand that pulled out her keys was nearly as numb as her heart, and she felt as though she were dreaming when stepped inside and closed the door, and fell to the chair just to the left of the entrance. Eventually, her eyes forced their way up to the farthest door, the one leading to the bedroom. To Neo. How could it be that only minutes ago, she had wanted nothing but to run through that door to him, and now, she felt nothing? Not love, not sadness, not anger... Just numbness, with little desire to do anything but lay there on that couch until something forced her to move or until she simply died. If she had been thinking, if she had been focusing on any one thing enough to care, she would have realized that she would have chosen the horrific pain and sadness of loss to this numbness without a second thought.

---

He didn't feel so stiff when he woke up.

He also noticed, as he slowly opened his eyes to the curved ceiling above him, that in the back of his mind there was no lurking and instinctual fear. He only felt calm, and drowsy. It was a good feeling.

He turned onto his side, and his eyes focused on the other pillow, the one that had originally been there when he crawled into this bed the night before. She had chosen that pillow to sleep on, he had reasoned; he should let her keep it, find a new one for himself. There was no head resting upon it. He wondered if, perhaps, it was not morning as he had thought, but still night, and he had only been asleep for an hour or two. Maybe Trinity was still with Tank and his family. But no - as he shifted again, sitting up slowly, he found the clock, mounted into the wall just beside the pillows, as it was in her cabin on the Neb. Staring into the glow of the green numbers hurt his eyes after such prolonged darkness, but they read 11:51 Morning after all. He wondered briefly why she would have opted for so little sleep, after - in all likelihood - being out for several hours, and being so deprived of her rest in the nights since the attack.

He brushed the thoughts away as he stood from the bed, and headed to the closet for a sweater - only to realize that, possibly for the first time in the real world, he didn't need one. Padding towards the door, he came to hear a quiet sound emanating from the other side. He couldn't help but smile, knowing she was awake, and here, and he could talk to her. He missed talking to her, the few lengthy conversations they had shared before... before everything, really. And how much better talking would be now, now that he could take her hand, sit close or, just maybe, kiss her as they spoke to each other.

Past the door, the bathroom on the left and the makeshift kitchen on the right, and into the living room, he did not see her immediately. The sound came from a computer monitor - and suddenly, the processor, mouse and keyboard sitting lonely on her desk did not seem so strange - placed in front of the couch, playing what looked like a news show. Another step showed him a few locks of black hair resting across the arm of the couch. A few more, and he found her curled up on her side, staring at the screen with a tired, mindless expression he had never seen her wear before. It made him stop abruptly and stare, swallowing a sudden lump out of his throat. She was usually so passionate and strong, and whatever emotion she held could be seen in her eyes by anyone who dared look close enough, whether it was anger, sadness, happiness, determination... But now her eyes were empty, like someone had gone into her mind and flipped the switch to off.

"In other news, a tragic report coming from military command this morning," came a man's voice, drawing his attention to the screen again. "Over half the crew of the Nebuchadnezzar was lost to us nearly four days ago -"

"I thought you didn't have TV in Zion," he blurted out suddenly, trying to cover up the anchor's voice with his own. But her eyes did not shift to him.

"Most people don't," she said coldly.

The TV prattled on. "Some initial reports say the crewmen were lost in a sentinel attack, others that the deaths occurred in the Matrix, but we have not been able to confirm either of those reports yet. We will bring you more information as the story develops..."

Even watching that - if she was really even focusing on it at all - her face remained stoic. He stood helplessly beside the couch, staring at her still body, radiating tension and ice, wanting desperately to go to her, wrap himself around her until she melted and everything was okay again - but as warmly as she had responded to him before, he could tell that any contact or intrusion now would drive her away. He kept his distance. "Trinity..." he whispered quietly, his throat suddenly dry. "Do you need anything?"

"No."

As much as he racked his brain, he could find nothing else to say or do, and turned awkwardly away, heading back toward the kitchen.

"The funeral is at two," she mumbled. "For all four of them."

It wasn't the kind of statement that expected a response, and he didn't have one anyway, so it was left at that.

He dug around in her cabinets and refrigerator for a few minutes, pulling out whatever looked interesting. He put it all on one of her few plates, and ate at the desk in her room, alone. His eyes remained at the door, and his ears beyond it, the entire time. When he was finished - 12:27, said the green glow of the clock - he stayed in that room, bored and wide awake though he was. She wanted her privacy, her space, and he would give it to her for as long as she needed it.

Just after one o'clock, he snuck into the bathroom - at the very least, she was sitting up now - to shower, and shave away what little stubble had actually begun to grow in. When he reemerged, the TV was off, and he caught a glimpse of Trinity, eating at the table. She had changed her clothes. Back in the bedroom, he toweled off as quickly as possible, and went in search of the right clothes - somehow he couldn't seem to remember where he had put anything the night before. He finally managed to dig out a black t-shirt and sweater, and black pants as well - they were unusually frayed at the cuffs, and had a few noticeable holes, but they would have to do. As he was doing all of this, there was a knock at the front door, which Trinity answered.

When he came out of the bedroom, he found her curled up on the couch again, and in the chair across from her sat Ghost. She was saying something to him, quietly, with that pained voice of hers. Neo was struck by a twinge of jealousy - she would not talk to him, the man she said she loved, but she willingly shared her feelings with Ghost? The thought was stopped abruptly as the other man saw him, studied him for a moment, and told Trinity of his presence with a silent nod of his head.

She sat up straighter and craned her neck around to see him. Dead eyes, still. She glanced over him, sighed almost imperceptibly, and turned away. "You can't wear that," she told him bluntly. She stood, and he saw that she was not wearing black, as he was, and, as a matter of fact, neither was Ghost. Trinity's dress - and that was the first shock to his system - was sleeveless, just sweeping past her knees with a sash tied at her waist. The lightweight fabric that fluttered gently as she walked was a pure, light blue that suited her beautifully. Ghost's shirt was the same color. She brushed by him without making eye contact, or even lifting her head any higher than was necessary to walk. He hesitantly followed her into the bedroom as she began flipping through the few items of his in the closet.

"What's wrong with what I have?"

Her voice was tired as she responded. "No black at funerals, at least not all black. Just isn't what we do." She finally reemerged with a different sweater, but he recognized it as hers - and it was the same color as her dress. She handed it over, and went back out to sit with Ghost. And in an instant, Neo understood - her dress, this shirt - they were Sky Blue.

---

The three of them walked to the elevator in silence, and traveled down to the bottom level in silence. She stood apart from both of them as they rode, keeping as much distance between herself and everyone else in the elevator as possible. She stood mere inches from the door, as if ready to leap out and run as soon as they reached the bottom level.

"No, she's the first officer of the Neb," she heard someone whisper, way back in the corner. How she heard it over the white noise within the elevator she didn't know, and she had hoped no one else heard, either. "A friend of mine is a mechanic up on the docks, he said the ship was half-destroyed. He says it could take over a month before it's in working order again." But no such luck. The more that woman spoke, the more she felt eyes boring into her back, gliding over the color of her dress, and Neo and Ghost's shirts. Anyone who had not known their destination before could certainly tell now. She kept still, maintaining her official stance, and her face remained as passive as it had been all day. Only her eyes moved pleadingly up, to the dials indicating the current floor. Six levels to go, and she was free.

Each second in that elevator was longer and more painful than the last. No one mentioned the trio or where they were headed after the woman in the back stopped speaking, but Trinity knew better. They were watching, thinking that they would have a story to tell their friends after work - "I saw the first officer of the Neb and her two friends going to the funeral today. She didn't even look upset, just cold and indifferent as always. You know, I just don't understand why she even bothered going to the funeral if she didn't care -"

Shut up! her mind screamed as the doors finally began to crawl open. You don't know what I think! She bolted from the elevator as soon as there was enough room to clear the doors, but forced herself to slow to an inconspicuous speed after just a few steps. Even so, her pace was quick, and Ghost and Neo had to jog lightly to keep up. They were staring now, both of them, in concern. But her eyes held fast to the path before her, ignoring their looks and walking just half a step ahead of them both. As they approached the entrance to the Temple, Ghost finally seemed to get it, and let his eyes fall away from her, but Neo still didn't know her so well. He followed just at her heel, as if he were trying to work up the nerve to ask her, again, if there was anything he could do. So desperate was he to comfort her that when she stopped just outside the temple opening, his face lit up, and was just about to speak, until she cut him off. "Shoes," she said flatly, but at a normal volume, as if she was trying to convince him she was fine. She slid her feet from her sandals, leaving them beside perhaps twenty other pairs, and Neo stooped, watching her carefully as he did, and undid the straps on his boots.

Ghost waited for the two at the mouth of the cave, and this time he led them away.

—

Even now, her numbness persisted, and he could not see any pain in her. That feeling was gaining strength again, that desperate urge to go to her and hold her tightly until something changed in her, something became better, but still she was too tense, too distant to accept him. He could only stare longingly at the back of her head as he followed her deeper into the cave.

They moved through a long and tunnel, the soles of his feet gathering dust as he moved over the smooth rock. They emerged into a massive cavern, and despite his worries, Neo could not help but stare in awe. The sheer size of it was like no other enclosed space he had ever seen before, even in the Matrix, and he wondered how they managed to keep it from collapsing in on itself. Those pillars of rock - he'd never been able to remember what they were called - didn't seem nearly strong enough to keep it up. There were dozens of alcoves all around the edges of the cavern, and each one somehow emitted a softly glowing yellow light. It made the cavern beautiful.

"Neo."

She was waiting, her tired eyes staring at him over her shoulder just ahead of him, and he realized that he had stopped to admire this Temple of Zion, and that had been a mistake. Same problem as last night, and she no longer seemed to have the energy to tell him the little white lie that it was all right. He jogged after her, and she led him away into one of the many alcoves.

There were already a few people mingling around, Morpheus and Tank, Niobe and Sparks, some people he did not know. He looked around, counted as best he could with people moving around. There were perhaps a dozen people he did not know, and, counting himself, that meant only twenty or so people there at all. He looked around for a clock, but he could not find one, and he did not remember what time it had been when they left her apartment. Still, he hoped that it was still early, that there were more people coming. This couldn't possibly be it, could it? Twenty people to mourn four? Dozer was easily the kindest most lovable man he had ever met, Mouse had been out three years and was exactly the kind of kid to have plenty of like-minded friends, and Switch and Apoc, despite their intensity and soldier mindsets, were good people, good friends. Surely there must be more people on the way...

He turned around to ask Trinity that very question, only to find himself alone. With a quick look around, he found her with Niobe, talking quietly. Jealousy hit him again, until she turned enough to see her face. It was just small talk - she looked like she'd much rather be sitting alone in a corner somewhere until they got started.

"There's some people you should meet," Ghost said politely, formally as he stopped beside Neo.

He said nothing at first. Just kept staring at Trinity, trying desperately to understand her. He failed miserably, and he sighed heavily. Fuck the smalltalk. "Why is she being like this?" he asked, not realizing how much anger he carried toward her until the words came out.

"What do you mean?" He sounded defensive, like he'd heard the tone in Neo's voice.

It felt like betraying her to feel like this, to be angry at her coldness. But it made no sense - she always felt something whether she let the rest of the world see it or not, and now, no matter how hard he looked, he could not even find the tiniest shred of emotion. He felt, in all honesty, that she had absolutely no right to shun and shut out the memories of some of her closest friends. "Why is Trinity acting the way she is?"

This seemed to clarify for Ghost, and he sighed as well, searching for the words to explain. "That's just... Trinity. It's how she's always been, at times like this."

That didn't help him much, not with understanding or gaining sympathy. "But she's not acting like anything has happened, she's just... completely shut down."

"Listen, Neo..." He could suddenly tell that this man was about as worried about Trinity as he was, and cared as much, too. "I've known her for over twelve years. This happens every single time she loses someone. It's just how she copes. She's always so intense that if she lets it all go at once it'll completely overwhelm her." From the way he was staring at her, Neo could tell he had the same urge to go take care of her, if only she'd let him. "She has to let it all cool off for a while before she can deal with it. Normally, you can barely tell she's trying to cope at first and then... everything comes crashing down at once."

His anger toward her attitude had faded significantly - not totally gone, but severely weakened if nothing else. "How long does that take?"

He shrugged. "The initial sadness is usually pretty immediate, but that's tame compared to the real thing. That part? Depends. I've seen it take two days, I've seen it take two months. Kind of ironic - the more she cared, the less you'll be able to tell, and the longer it takes. With these four..." he shook his head, staring at her turned back intently. "I can't imagine. She's never lost so many people she loved so much at once. If it took her years to truly come to terms with it, it wouldn't surprise me one bit."

He watched Trinity as she moved away from Niobe and on to Tank and a few of the people he didn't know. She mindlessly hugged each of them, clearly no more interested in being with them than she was with Niobe, and as he watched the last of his anger ebbed away, replaced by guilt. This was her life, this was her family - she had every right to feel however she wanted about them. He left her alone to talk - even if he gave her an out, he knew her well enough to know that she would never take it; she had a duty to these people, a responsibility, and she would not shun it for anything.

Over the next few minutes, several more people entered, none of whom he recognized (and still he could not believe how empty this room really was) and the last three, two women and one man, he guessed were the ones performing the ceremony. Everyone moved off to one side of the cavern, surrounding a small alter he had not noticed before. As he drew closer, finding himself between one of those women he didn't know and Trinity, he saw four simple, clay jars set in a row on the table, and though he was surprised to see them, he knew instantly what they were. "They cremated them already?" he asked before he remembered the state of the woman he was asking. Thankfully, though, his words did not seem to damage her any more than she already was. She nodded without saying anything, and one of the priestesses began the ceremony by lighting four white candles - and these were the first things in the real world he had see that truly were white.

Neo paid little attention to the actual ceremony, or to the people who spoke. He couldn't quite understand or follow the Zionist ritual, anyway. His focus was almost exclusively on Trinity, watching her face. Her eyes were either downcast, staring at the reddish stone of the floor, or closed. At first, he thought that maybe she was praying when she did this - because even though she did not seem the religious type, it was so easy to imagine her praying - but he slowly began to realize that she was breaking, that initial breaking and pain Ghost was talking about, and she was trying to keep it in; or, maybe, she was just trying to keep everyone from seeing it, from looking into her eyes and knowing just how weak she truly was now. It was so easy to imagine her doing that, too. Her body was still tense, her arms folded over one another with each hand clutching the opposite elbow tightly enough for the knuckles to turn white. It was the same kind of tension and ice that kept him away all afternoon, and he wished it would go away so he could comfort her.

He watched her for a good twenty minutes during the lengthy funeral, waiting for her to open up just enough, to give him the opportunity to give her whatever comfort he could. Somewhere towards the end of the end of the ritual, after she had not moved, opened her eyes or changed her demeanor at all for almost five minutes, he realized that he would never get such an opportunity. He took those two steps to stand behind her, molded himself into her back, with his arms wrapped firmly around her waist and his chin resting in the crook of her neck, and let anyone who might look at them with wide eyes be damned.

It probably took another five minutes of stillness, but she finally let go of her own arms and let her hands drift down to cover his.

---

Trinity did not drink at the wake, like many - most - of the others were. She had always had mixed results with drinking through pain, and fighting a hangover through pain, in the past, and she really didn't feel like dealing with that this time. So she took Neo around, introduced him to everyone - Dozer's parents, his sister, brother-in-law, his wife, his twins - and she nearly broke down at that, thinking of the future these three-year-olds had lost with Dozer's death, how few memories they had to choose from with a fleet medic for a father, how, being so young, they would probably not even remember those. There were some of Tank and Dozer's family friends there, a few of Switch and Apoc's friends from the fleet, and two teenagers she didn't know who turned out to be here for Mouse. The boy said he was Mouse's roommate during his brief stay at the orphanage, and the girl said she had been his girlfriend for a whole two weeks around the same time. Both admitted they hadn't known him all that well, but still felt they should pay their respects anyway.

Once that had been taken care of, she felt a bit lost. She had never been horribly fond of parties or gatherings such as this, where there was little else to do but talk. It didn't help matters that talking was the last thing she felt like doing then, and even having Neo by her side didn't help. She found herself dragged into a small conversation group a few times, talking about one person or another. She told her own stories when she had to, but kept them brief, explained that Neo had not known them very long - though he did have one little anecdote to share about his first meeting with Switch - and bow out as soon as she could. After an hour or so, she found herself sitting alone on the couch, waiting for Neo to bring them more water and a little plate of food to share. As her eyes moved from person to person around the room, trying not to let her ears pick up the conversations, she suddenly felt so exhausted, and it took all her effort to keep her eyes open. Neo, who was turning out to be far more perceptive than she thought, noticed it from halfway across the room when he first saw her. The plate and two cups were abandoned on the end table, and he busied his free hand by tangling it with hers.

"You tired?"

"Yeah," she smiled wryly, her voice coming out just above a whisper.

"You want to go home?" She inhaled, about to protest when he cut her off. "And forget about what you're supposed to do, Trin." That was the first time he ever called her that, and she was just alert enough to love the way it sounded form him, the way he said it with love - for her. "You've done more than anyone else could ever be expected to, and you've barely slept in four days, and I wouldn't be surprised if it was even longer than that." Yes, much more perceptive than she thought. "Do you want to go home?"

She glanced around the room again, and decided they would all be okay without her. "Yeah. Let's go."

They said goodbye to no one, just slipped out the door unnoticed. He slipped his arm around her back and under hers to support her as they walked, and she surprised herself by accepting the help. The family level, where Tank and Dozer's parents lived, was many stories away from the military level, and she dreaded the long trip. He kept her standing as they waited for the elevator, and as they stepped inside, by some miracle getting the place all to themselves. As the doors closed and she leaned on him even more heavily, she vowed to demand that the Council place benches inside the elevator and at each waiting area.

The movement of the elevator was soothing, and talking was the only thing she could think of to keep herself awake. "I should tell you... I'm probably going to have to take you to meet some people tomorrow, some of the military advisors and the High Council." She lifted her head as much as she could - somehow, it had found her way onto his shoulder - and found him with a confused look on his face. She couldn't help grinning. "Sorry, but we had to rat you out today. Council wasn't too happy about Morpheus unplugging a thirty-year-old, they dragged us in to explain ourselves. They're probably going to want to see what you can do, but if you don't feel comfortable with anything that they ask, let me know and I'll get you out of it." She looked up again - because somehow her head had drifted back to his shoulder and her eyes had closed themselves. This time he was a bit bewildered, shocked by some memory. She grinned wider. " Don't tell me you forgot you're the One?"

He let out a goofy, embarrassed little laugh, rubbing his hand over his bristly head. "Yeah... guess I sorta did."

She was amazed to find, suddenly, that he was putting her in a joking mood - she hadn't been in a mood like that in a very long time. Standing here beside him was relaxing her, forcibly stripping away the soldier in duty mode until she was just any other woman, heading home with the man she loved. "Hmm," she smiled, sarcastically shaking her head. "And after I brought you back from the dead and everything."

"Well... that part I remember perfectly."

Trinity studied Neo carefully, watching him as his eyes turned down to meet hers. She never kissed him since they docked here in Zion. Even on the ship, they had had their first night, and then practically nothing but gentle smiles and caresses. She decided suddenly and without a second thought that that needed to be changed, and she slipped her free hand around the back of his neck and pulled him down to her.

It was different kissing him this way, too, when they were totally alone, when there was no danger lurking in the tunnels around them, no work that needed to be done, and a full night to sleep as long as they wanted, undisturbed in a warm, soft bed. It was different to kiss him while thinking of just how wrong she had been. She remembered what she had once said to the Oracle, what she had always told herself and everyone else. I don't want to fall in love. I never will fall in love. Love will tie me down and steal my strength and make me a weak soldier who can't do her job and lets everyone around her die because of her own weakness. She realized now, as he moved those newborn-soft lips against hers, more than any time in the last four days, how wrong and... stupid she had been, how afraid she must have been to say and think those things. Just four days in, and love was doing more for her than anything else ever had, relaxing her more thoroughly, despite everything, making her happier than she had ever been...

As the elevator began grinding to a halt, she kissed him one last time before pulling away, more exhausted - but happier - than she had been all day. Her head fell down to his chest, and it stayed that way, as he supported her half-sleeping form the rest of the way home.