Higgins, Wolford and McHorn took thirty seconds debating who would knock on the door to Chief Bogo's office, until it was Higgins who finally stepped up. He rapped on the glass three times.
"What?" Bogo snapped from the other side.
Just like that, Higgins lost his nerve and shoved Wolford in front of him. The wolf shot him a look darker than his fur and took point.
All three of them entered the office to find a very ominous scene. There was a fruit-scented red stain on the carpet. Red liquid dripped from the edge of the desk. Resting his arms on said desk was Chief Bogo, his face concealed by his hooves as he rested them on his forehead.
Wolford kept his distance, his feet mere centimeters from the red carpet stain. "Sir?"
Bogo looked up slowly. He looked like someone who'd been through both world wars and come out bearing a hundred psychological disorders. "Yes, Wolford?"
"We have a situation." McHorn spoke, keeping himself at the back of the group.
"Of course we do." Bogo spoke wearily. "Before you say anything else, I have something to confess."
"Confess, sir?" Wolford asked.
"There is a simple reason for my... standoffishness." Bogo said, lowering his hooves so his arms were fully crossed on the desk. "I have a kidney stone that I have been enduring for some time now. Normally I would square my shoulders and bear it, but as you may have guessed today has been a very stressful day."
"Don't sweat it, sir. Everyone knows that kidney stones suck." Wolford said quickly.
"And so I hope you will forgive me if I react poorly to whatever you have to tell me." Bogo pulled a cloth from a desk drawer, wiped up the worst of the red spillage on his desk, and then leaned further over the desk. "Well?"
Wolford put himself between Higgins and McHorn, ready to run for the door if he had to.
Raymond found the drill after breaking into crate number seven. It was a handheld electric machine with a red base and a thick drill bit as long as Raymond himself. The swerve blade that curled all the way up the pole looked razor sharp. The machine was just the right size for a polar bear. It was powerful. It was just the right thing for busting through a troublesome locked door. It was disassembled and neither polar bear was a drill expert.
Kevin picked up the drill bit. "Maybe we could use this like a screwdriver."
Raymond snatched the useless object and threw it back in the crate. "Maybe we could look for something we can actually use! Let's split up!"
The boat swerved again, sending them tumbling forward into the open crate. The crate toppled over, spilling pieces of industrial machinery into the shallow water. Soaked once again, Raymond pulled himself up first, growling. "I've just about had enough of this."
Kevin started to get up too, but then he saw something that hadn't fallen out the crate. "Is that a chainsaw?"
"Chainsaw?" Raymond repeated as Kevin reached into the crate and pulled out the machine. Like the drill it was disassembled; one by one, Kevin placed the base, the saw, and the black chain on the side of the overturned crate. "For crying out loud, we need a whole machine!"
"And we will. I know how to operate this!" Kevin retorted.
Raymond blinked. "You can assemble a chainsaw?"
"How do you think my old man sculpted those ice statues for Mr. Big's parties?" Kevin replied with a raised eyebrow. "And we found gas in one of the other crates we went through. We could use this to get through the lock and get out!"
"Brilliant!" Raymond slapped Kevin on the back. "Come on, the sooner we get this thing together, the sooner we're out of here!"
"Wait, this isn't like sawing through wood and ice!" Kevin said. "We'll need something to protect ourselves in case the saw kicks back."
Raymond looked around the hold. "Leave that to me!" He sprinted off in his excitement, making loud splashes with each footstep.
Eager to get out himself, Kevin set to work. After he looped the chain around the blade and fixed both components into the base, he heard a loud tearing sound coming from the direction of the second hold. When the chainsaw was fully fuelled and ready to go, Raymond rushed back with the secret panel in his paws. Kevin gaped, the chainsaw hanging limply from one paw. Raymond shrugged. "Couldn't find body armor."
Kevin shook his head. They were so getting iced if Mr. Big found out about this.
Finnick had learned a lot of lessons living on the streets, and one was that you take what you can, when you can. He'd also learned that such a lesson should only be applied in desperate circumstances, and being stranded in a rustic little town counted.
Only the desire to not get arrested by his own buddy kept Finnick from calling Nick back and taking him up on his offer, so Finnick had climbed back into the Ferrari for some quiet time, leaving both doors open. He placed Lucille in the passenger seat, put himself in the front and started thinking. His buddies at J's bar didn't have a vehicle a mammal of his size could drive. Even if he could drive the Ferrari, he himself had tossed the keys down the gutter. But he still had his wallet and his phone, Finnick realized. Even if he couldn't hire a car, he could hire a cab if it came to it. He wasn't that far from Bunnyburrow, now.
Finnick silently wished Nick and Flopsy luck in finding their buddy and turned back to the passenger seat to retrieve Lucille.
There was a fool born every day. He'd left the doors open and now Lucille was gone.
"Sir... Officer Clawhauser was abducted less than half an hour ago."
Bogo stiffened in his chair.
"Finnick called the police from Crabapple Valley." Higgins said. "Two assailants tried to kidnap them when they stopped at an insect store and succeeded in taking Clawhauser. The local PD has half its units searching for their vehicle."
"It's likely that the kidnappers are also after the stolen money and intend to force its location of out him." McHorn now looked livid, and his coworkers could feel their own fear and anger growing. Benjamin Clawhauser was the kid brother of the Precinct, and one of the nicest guys they'd ever had the honor of working with. Right now getting him back mattered more than millions in stolen cash.
Blank shock was plastered over Bogo's face. Higgins stepped forward. "Sir, how do you advise we deal with this?"
Bogo's hooves slowly curled into fists. His eyes stared daggers at nothing in particular. "We're going to sell them to a vivisectionist."
He reached for his desk phone and dialed for Chief Irons.
If there was one thing Nick learned in the Police Academy, one of the worst outcomes of a police car pursuit was a car crash. On the highway approaching the turn to Podunk, that was exactly what happened.
In most cases, it was usually the fault of the criminal. In their blind desperation to escape punishment, one mistake was all it took for disaster to strike. Twice during the pursuit, the woodchuck calling himself Woody drove straight into oncoming traffic, the first time right after the start of the chase, and the second right before they entered the highway. Both times their luck held out and no innocent commuters were struck.
Sometimes it was the fault of the pursuing officer. No matter how accurately they followed protocol, things still could go wrong. Right after they left town, Nick attempted a pit maneuver on the khaki car, only for it to fail when Woody managed to regain control of the car after it went into a full spin and he continued speeding down the road.
Sometimes it was the fault of a civilian. A civilian may not get out of the way fast enough, or try to play the hero and stop the criminal themselves. With the majority of traffic being within the town, there were few cars for Woody to endanger, and Stu wisely stayed in his seat and kept his seatbelt on.
In this particular case, the blame for the crash could be placed on the criminal, but not in a way they taught in the academy. Woody did not hit oncoming traffic or turn too fast on a bend. Instead he'd made the mistake of renting a cheap car from a salesman more devious than Woody could ever be. Right as he was about to make the turn towards Podunk, the inevitable happened. The front left wheel popped off and rolled away like a broken yoyo and the car swerved uncontrollably towards the edge of the road. Nick spun his wheel too late and hit the side of the khaki car. Stu screamed like a girl as both cars went into the dry ditch and hit the bottom in an explosion of dirt.
There was a crackling sound as the dry, crumbling dirt fell back onto the ground and the cars. Silence followed. Then Nick kicked opened the driver's side door and climbed out. He spat out dirt then reached in to help Stu out. They climbed out the ditch to put some distance between themselves and the car, just in case there was a gas leak they hadn't seen. "Are you okay?" Nick asked fearfully.
Stu winced and rubbed his rear. "I think I sprained my tail."
Nick gave a genuine smile of relief. "Nothing a mound of plaster won't fix. D'you mind if I sign the cast?"
"Not at all. What about that woodchump?"
Right on cue, the khaki door opened, and out came a disheveled, dirty Woody. He scrambled slowly up the ditch, and paled when he saw Nick and Stu. Nick advanced on the woodchuck.
"Come here." The woodchuck gulped and stepped back. "Come here!"
"En Garde!" Pop-Pop went into a stance he hadn't used since he was a college student.
"Pop-Pop, what do you think you're doing?! You're seventy-one!" Bonnie cried. "Judy, do something!"
Before Judy could intervene, Pop-Pop and the drunkard who tried to assault her clashed clubs. "I'll be alright, Trudy! I've been fencing before your pops was old enough to fill his own potty!" With that, the duel began.
"Stop this right now!" Judy couldn't get close enough without getting hit with a heavy swinging club. "Don't make me pull out my spray!"
Neither of them was listening, far too busy blocking each other's swings. As it turned out, the drunkard was an experienced fencer himself, but his own intoxication made him an equal match for the even more experienced and aged opponent. The drunkard swung for Pop-Pop's leg. Pop-Pop lifted it just in time. He jabbed the drunkard in the chest, pushing him further away from his daughter and granddaughter. Rushed forward to continue the duel. The unrelenting clashing of club on club had them slowly ascending the hill.
Judy and Bonnie rushed after them.
Bitter made sure all the drawers in his desk were locked and his subordinates knew exactly what their tasks were before making his way to the helicopter. The rooftop wasn't far, only two corridors and a set of plain metal steps, and before he knew it Bitter was opening a squeaky door and stepping into the fresh air above the precinct.
The helicopter was waiting for them in the middle of the giant painted Z, its long blades waiting to be brought to life. Beside the aircraft was Chief Irons, his broad back to Bitter as he talked loudly on his phone.
As Bitter approached, a prominent cynical part of him asked if the coming promotion was too good to be true. It was true that resolving such an important case would merit a significant reward for the officers responsible, especially if resolved with a happy ending such as successfully retrieving most if not all the stolen millions. But Bitter had known Irons long enough to know that the hippo would do anything to upstage Bogo, ever since the buffalo had stolen the honor of valedictorian at the academy. Bitter scowled at himself. 'Stolen' was not the appropriate word for Bogo's accomplishment.
Bitter pushed his cynicism to one side as he got closer to his boss. Irons may be a jackass, but the majority of his jackassery was focused on Bogo and anyone who displeased him. He wouldn't stoop so low as to steal the credit from his own subordinates.
"Yes, Mayor, the Triple Casino Heist Case is solved!" Irons spoke into his phone. "I'm on my way, now... No, Chief Bogo's officers are still making their way there... You're going to have to have a word... Captain Bitter? Oh, he's going to assist me in the arrest... I agree, he's a good officer... Mind you, I think he may be due for retirement... Why? Well, he's not as efficient as he once was. I think it's his age finally catching up with him... I'll think about it... Don't worry, I'll have the money back before you know it. It's time to close this case once and for all... Thank you. Goodbye."
Finnick found Lucille in a parking lot at the very edge of town, in the clutches of a group of about five wolf kids in the midst of a kiddie style baseball game. Behind the back of the parking lot, a narrow, smoothly flowing river separated the edge of town to the forest beyond. The only thing separating the parking lot and the river was a row of grey stones.
With a face like thunder, Finnick stalked towards the kid holding a bat, a white cub in a yellow t-shirt. The other four kids watched him approach. "Hand over the bat." He said icily. The cub looked down at the bat he was holding. Finnick held out his paw. "You stole that bat and you know it."
A very Nick-like smirk formed on the cub's face. "You want it? Come and get it!"
He tossed the bat towards the grey cub in blue. On instinct Finnick rushed towards his prized weapon. The grey cub sniggered and tossed the bat over Finnick's head and a black cub behind him caught it. "Give it back, you little rat-finks!" The black club giggled and threw the bat back towards the white cub when Finnick tried to grab it. When the white cub threw the bat over Finnick's head to a second white cub, the fox did not change direction.
The cub kept smirking and pointed. "I don't have it! You blind, fox?"
Finnick stopped in front of him. He looked back to see which cub was currently holding his bat, then looked back to the instigator. "Look. You're a little boy, right?" The cub nodded, not sure if the calm smile on the fox's face was genuine. "You want to be a big boy?" Finnick's smile contorted, and he grabbed the boy's shirt and pulled him close. "Give me back my baby!"
Bucky, Pronk and their out of control yacht were one minute from the Bunnyburrow border, but the only thing on their minds was the full realization of the complete, all-consuming, absolute, undeniable, unbelievable, colossal, universal stupidity of their plan to steal their rivals' yacht.
They both clung to the steering wheel for dear life as they professed their love, apologized for their mistakes in life, renewed their wedding vows, sobbed like babies and prayed for divine intervention.
Woody whirled and ran. Nick raced after him with Stu not too far behind. Nick caught him quickly and dragged him to the ground. Woody lashed out, catching Nick's jaw and knocking him out. "Get off me, fox!" Then he scrambled back up and tried to run again, only for Stu to take a flying leap and wrap his arms around the woodchuck's legs, sending them both crashing back to the ground. Woody turned over and tried to push the arms off to no avail. Stu tightened his grip like a boa constrictor tightened its coils. While Nick slowly came to, Woody cursed and wriggled free, leaving his pants behind in Stu's clutches. Something fell out of one of the large pockets and clinked on the ground beside Stu's face. Stu picked it up, and Nick saw it through his double vision.
"A muzzle." Nick murmured, shooting a look of venomous recognition at Bruce Wood.
"So it is." Stu released the muzzle and pants and pulled out his Taser.
Half naked and terrified, Bruce yelped and tried to run.
Before Clawhauser knew it, he was in the back of an empty van barely skimming the speed limit. A zebra was at the wheel, and in the back a hippo was tying black cord around the cheetah's paws, threatening to break his fangs if he struggled. Clawhauser wisely complied. When the hippo was finished and he sat back on the other side of the van, Clawhauser looped his arms around Spider Bogo's box and held the tarantula close.
He breathed deeply to control his fear, his ears flat and his arms shaking. So much for easing Chief Bogo's burden.
The polar bears went to the door, Kevin holding the chainsaw and Raymond holding the panel. They both eyed their target, the gap between the door and the frame. If they could break the lock enough, they would be home free. "Ready?" Raymond asked. Kevin nodded. "Go." With a roar, the chainsaw came to life, the edges of the blade becoming a lethal blur. Raymond thought with a chill of the Texas Chainsaw Mousicre. He held the panel above the chainsaw's base, putting a shield between the blade and their bodies. "On the count of three, start sawing."
They inched forward until the blade was inches from the door. Raymond braced himself for sparks. "One... two..."
Right then the floor tilted violently. Raymond fell over once again with a splash. The panel fell on top of him. Kevin made his partner yell as he fell on top, sandwiching the panel between them.
And the chainsaw? It flew from Kevin's paw and sank itself into the side of the hull.
The worst-case scenario for this case was one of the suspects succeeding in making off with the stolen money, or so Bogo had thought.
He'd never in his wildest imagination expected that his own receptionist would get caught up in this mess, let alone end up going undercover. And now the worst had happened.
With his kidney stone sending more agony through his body, Bogo dialed Chief Irons' number and waited for him to pick up. If he informed him and Bitter of the situation, they'd surely put Clawhauser's safety first and change their destination to Crabapple Valley. The law enforcement there didn't possess a helicopter, and air surveillance would greatly increase their chances of locating the white van.
Chief Irons picked up, and sounded very unhappy at the call. "We're about to board the chopper, Bogo. This had better be good."
"Good is stretching it!" Bogo growled. "Officer Clawhauser's life may be in danger!"
"Who's in danger?" Irons asked.
"My receptionist, you idiot!"
"Your receptionist?" Bogo heard Bitter's voice. Irons must have his phone of speaker. "What happened?"
"Two strangers kidnapped him in Crabapple Valley! We think they're after the money, too, but we don't know how they know about it!"
Irons snorted. "I won't say I told you so."
Bogo's fist trembled on his desk. "I admit it, you're right. I should have ordered Clawhauser to stay out of this. He was my responsibility. But now he's in danger and we need your helicopter to search for him!"
"Bogo, this is very inconvenient. We're on our way to arrest whoever finds the money first."
"I know that!"
Bitter spoke again. "Sir, we can't just..."
"Quiet! What about your officers? The fox and the rabbit? If they could find fifteen missing mammals in two days, they can surely find one cheetah."
"They've got their own problems! They were separated at Pride City!"
"What do you mean separated?"
"Mrs. Hopps took ill, so Officer Hopps stayed behind to take care of her. Now can we please get back to the issue of a missing person?!"
"If Hopps is in Pride City, where is Wilde?"
"Forget about Wilde! Will you just shut up and listen to me?!"
"Where is he?"
"Near Crabapple Valley according to his last report! He chose to go on without his partner!"
"So he could find Clawhauser himself?"
"Perhaps. We informed him of Clawhauser's abduction, but we haven't been able to contact him since then."
There was a short pause. "So you don't know where he is." Irons said.
"What has that got to do with... No. You'd better not be thinking what I think you're..." Bogo growled.
"He's friends with Finnick, a career criminal who was the last person with Clawhauser before his disappearance. What do you expect me to think?"
"That has nothing to do with Clawhauser! Now will you shut up so I can tell you what happened?!" Bogo heard his voice rising with every word.
"Alright, we'll stop by Crabapple if you insist." Irons said. "I think we need to have a word with Wilde."
"Will you shut up and listen?!"
"No need to! We'll have Wilde explain it himself!"
"Brendan!"
"Don't worry, we won't arrest him right away. We just want to be sure."
"Irons, it's not what you thi-"
Bogo cut himself off. Irons had already hung up.
Raymond and Kevin watched in horror as water began to spurt out around the chainsaw embedded deep in the wall. It had almost certainly punched right through the hull. Worse, it was still sawing, slicing through more of the wall, leaving a pouring gouge in its wake. "Stop that saw!" Raymond hollered. Kevin leapt for the saw, braving the torrent pouring in his face to turn it off. But it was too late. A three gash was pouring water into the hold like a burst water main.
"Bad, bad, badbadbad!" Kevin yanked the chainsaw out and threw it away. Raymond rushed to his side and immediately felt the water spilling on him, nearly blinding him in its relentlessness. He pressed his paws against the hole, but it was futile. "Find something! ANYTHING!"
The white wolf cub got the message Finnick was sending him. With a gulp, he looked to the cub holding Lucille. "Howie, give it back."
Howie tossed the bat. In his panic he tossed it too hard, and once again it soared over Finnick's head. Lucille bounced off a rock. "NO!" And spun into the river with a loud splash.
Finnick had owned Lucille since high school, so there was no stopping him from jumping into the river after her.
Bruce didn't get very far when he tripped on a rock and fell right back into the ditch. Nick rubbed the spot where Bruce had punched him and watched as Stu plunged into the ditch after the woodchuck. Two seconds later he heard the buzzing sound of a fully powered Taser, and the shrill sound of Bruce screaming.
"Mr. H, we need him alive!" Nick yelled.
"Not in one piece!" Stu yelled back from inside the ditch.
"HEEEEEEEEELLLLLP!" Bruce shrieked. Nick thought again of muzzles and vicious, lying scouts, and turned away. "OFFICEEEEEEER, HEEEEEEELLLP MEEEEEEEEE!"
"Even though I'm a fox?" Nick muttered as he started looking round for the missing phone.
With the speed and agility of a rabbit three times younger, Pop-Pop kicked the drunkard in the chest. The second the drunkard's back hit the green, Pop-Pop was upon him and pointing a golf club at his throat.
"Now... apologize to my granddaughter."
Judy covered her eyes, mortified beyond measure.
The Tailuca Bridge was a bridge that could be found in any country bunny's storybook pictures. Carved into the thick, light brown wood that arched over the bridge were a hundred painted apples. Any river vessel that sailed beneath that bridge would immediately find themselves in Tailuca Lake, a two mile long expanse of fresh water that rested right next to Bunnyburrow.
None of that mattered to Bucky and Pronk, except for the fact that their yacht was speeding right for it. With other option that didn't involve hitting the riverbank they threw their arms around each other and screamed in each other's ears.
Bogo put the phone back in its cradle and stared at Wolford, Higgins and McHorn.
It was McHorn who risked speaking. "Well?"
Bogo very slowly stood up from his desk. "This... is... classic..." He spoke softly. McHorn silently started pushing his coworkers back towards the door. "Absolutely classic..." His reddish brown eyes had turned a full bloody red as he moved himself in front of his desk, glaring at everything and nothing. "This constant... BULL!" His subordinates leapt back from him. "THAT I HAVE HAD TO PUT UP WITH FROM THESE PEOPLE! EXACTLY LIKE ME, BELLWETHER AND LIONFART BEFORE HER! STUPID, NARROW MINDED, HYPOCRITICAL IDIOTS WITH NOTHING BETTER TO DO THAN TO MAKE THINGS WORSE!" He stormed past his frozen subordinates and yanked his blue coat from the rack. "EVERY TIME WE HAVE A HIGH PRIORITY CASE, THIS HAPPENS! A BUNCH OF SELF-CENTERED, SELF RIGHTEOUS LAYABOUTS WHO WOULD SOONER LET A GOOD OFFICER DIE THAN LET A MILLION BUCKS SLIP THROUGH THEIR SLIMY FINGERS! LET ME TELL YOU SOMETHING, THIS IS EXACTLY WHY THIS CITY IS BROKEN!" McHorn and his coworkers backed away from the door as Bogo pulled his coat on and returned to his desk. From his desk he pulled his emergency dart gun. "I HAVE SPENT TEN YEARS SITTING ON MY ARSE AND WATCHING YOU PUT YOUR OWN LIVES ON THE LINE FOR OUR CRAP, AND I'VE HAD ENOUGH! I'VE HAD IT! I'M GOING TO CRABAPPLE VALLEY AND I'M GOING TO FIND BENJAMIN MYSELF!"
He thrust the gun into his belt, stormed out past his officers, and slammed the door behind him.
"Pop-Pop, enough!" Bonnie stormed over to her father-in-law, grabbed his arm and tried to pull him away. The drunkard chose that moment to push himself up and swing his club at Pop-Pop's body. Big mistake. Not only did he miss, Bonnie swiftly repaid him with a heavy purse to his marinated melon.
Raymond cursed loud enough to send echoes through the hull and turned to Kevin. "WHY DON'T YOU DO SOMETHING TO HELP ME?!" Kevin looked Raymond up and down and shoved him against the puncture. As it turned out, his butt was a perfect seal.
Finnick swam over to Lucille and held onto the floating bat as the river carried it onward. The bemused wolf cubs waved him goodbye as he went. Finnick responded with a finger.
Bruce's singed paw crawled over the edge of the ditch and dug into the dirt. His face came up, then contorted with a scream as Stu dragged him right back down again.
Spider Bogo's spider senses tingled as she curled up in the large spotted feline's protective embrace, wondering if her protector was the only intelligent life form on this planet.
While its loudmouthed passengers were dying of fright, Marlon Brando felt no fear at all as it smashed right through the Tailuca Bridge and entered the final stage of its voyage.
Wolford, Higgins and McHorn looked at each other in complete silence, trying to process what had just happened. Then they leapt back again when the door was thrust open again and Bogo poked his head in. "If anyone's bored, there's a visitor at the desk reporting that some marbles have been lost!" He slammed the door again.
McHorn wiped the sweat off his small brow and turned to his coworkers. "He has no idea."