Chapter 14

Stephanie sank back down in her chair, and noticed the way Aida's eyes lingered on the front door. She knew with certainty that if she didn't do something, they would both be sitting here, driving themselves crazy with worry until the cows came home. Well in this case, Ranger. As much as she enjoyed panicking as she imagined the dangers he could be dealing with tonight, she was sure she could find something better to do with her time. Her eyes began roaming the room, searching for a distraction. They came to a stop at the entry to Aida's kitchen. Food! That would do, at least for a little while.
"Would you like help preparing dinner?" Stephanie asked as she stood from the chair and conveniently forgot that she had the cooking skills of a 10 year old child. Aida blinked and her eyes darted from the door to Stephanie, as if she'd forgotten Stephanie was even there.
"Oh, that would be great. Thank you!" Aida made to get up, placing her hands on the arms of the chair, and pushing for leverage. Stephanie attempted to keep her lips clamped shut as she watched. A giggle threatened to burst out. Aida was stuck. The other woman flushed, lifting her eyes to Stephanie's in a plea for help and as they made eye contact, the two women burst into laughter. Stephanie reached out a hand and between the two of them, they managed to pull her to her feet.
"You can laugh now, but soon you'll be just as big as me." Aida warned teasingly, mirth swimming in her eyes.
"I'm looking forward to it," Stephanie replied with a grin, placing a hand on her bump as they made their way to the kitchen. She couldn't help but notice the way Aida's eyes had lit up as she'd laughed. She'd been simply radiant. For a moment, she'd had a glimpse of what Aida had been like just a few months before, before her husband died and when all she would have seen was a life full of love, children and family stretching out in front of her. A wave of pity ran through her as she looked at the person in front of her, a young woman who'd had her entire life upended overnight by no fault of her own. It just seemed so, so unfair and all Stephanie could hope was that she would have the strength to make it through this. Stepping forward, she prepared herself for the torture that was cooking. Maybe she would learn how to make something other than a sandwich. After all, she did have a sneaky suspicion the batbaby might make his, or her, grand arrival demanding salad.

She was handed a bowl, a beater and eggs. She looked down at her hands and tried to disguise the horror she felt. She could do this. How hard could it be? 5 minutes and 3 broken eggs later, she and Aida managed to fish out the 20 pieces of broken egg shell that had slipped into the yolk and wipe off the bits of egg sliding slowly down the outside of the bowl .
"This would probably be a good time to tell you that I'm utterly hopeless in the kitchen," She admitted sheepishly. She couldn't help feeling sightly envious towards Aida, not to mention inadequate. The other woman was clearly comfortable around the kitchen, recipes were unnecessary for her and she chopped vegetables like that perpetually swearing chef she'd seen on television. Aida was definitely mother material. She on the other hand, not so much.
Aida turned around with a small smile in response.
"You're just like my husband then, he is – he was- a terrible cook." Neither woman missed her mistake. Immediately, the ambiance of the small room became awkward and strained, and Stephanie scrambled for something to say to fill the oppressive silence.
"I- I'm so sorry for your loss Aida." She said hesitantly. She wasn't sure how much Aida wanted to speak about him; whether it would be too painful and just cause her more grief. "I can't imagine how hard this must be for you."
To her relief, Aida accepted her condolences with a slight nod of her head.
"Thank you Stephanie, I appreciate it. Truly. And Carlos has been so good to me for the past months as well, thank you for being so understanding."
Right, that was her. Understanding. To be fair, she'd had no idea that this was what he had been doing at the time.
"Actually, well, you see I- We weren't talking then."
She didn't miss the way Aida's brow quirked in confusion.
"Oh! Sorry I assumed-"
"No, that's okay. Ranger and I, we have a…unique relationship."
If it was possible, Aida looked more perplexed than she had before and Stephanie didn't blame her. She couldn't even explain their relationship to herself, let alone to other people. Their relationship was so past the realm of normal, she was pretty sure they'd created their own category: the Dysfunctional Ranger-Stephanie. Unwilling to inflict more confusion on the poor woman, she decided a change of subject was in order.
"I know Ranger can cook- well at least better than I can, I suppose he never taught Michael to cook then?" she asked, though still slightly hesitant to mention Michael. Thankfully, Aida seemed grateful for her question.
"No," she replied, shaking her head. A wry smile took to her lips. "Whenever those two were together, you couldn't get them to sit still, let alone stay in the house. It's been like that since they were kids."
"Kids? Did you grow up together?"
Aida nodded as she did something fancy with her spatula.
"We all lived in the same neighbourhood. I was a few years younger so they wouldn't let me tag along, but as I got older, they took it upon themselves to be my older brothers. The only family I had was my grandmother so they decided I needed 'protecting'." Stephanie smiled, she could believe that.
"But when we became teenagers, things changed. Ranger got involved with the wrong crowd so I didn't see him for a few years, then I went to college and they joined the army. By the time they joined Special Forces I think, by then I saw them maybe once a year? We were still close though, Ranger and Michael especially, and they liked to know how I was doing so they'd call when they could."
"Were you with Michael this whole time?" She asked.
Aida shook her head, almost regretfully.
"We were only together after he left the army, when I was 26."
"So all those years you'd grown up together, you'd never felt anything for him?"
Surprisingly, the other woman laughed.
"Honestly, I can't even remember a time when I didn't like him. I'd had a crush on Michael since we were children but he'd been completely oblivious. When we were teenagers I'd learnt to hide it, but Carlos had always seen right through me, and between him and Michael, they managed to keep me single for most of my teenage life." Stephanie shook her head with a smile, how unsurprising. Hopefully caveman wasn't genetic.
"It was frustrating at the time but Michael was it for me. I think I've always known that."
Aida's voice caught slightly, but when Stephanie turned to look at her, she saw a ghost of smile. She knew then that no matter how much time passed, Aida would never fully let go of her husband. As somber as that realisation was, there was also beauty in that moment. This was what love could be.

They had a light dinner, and kept the conversation to their respective pregnancies. It was her first time speaking to someone who was also going through her first pregnancy, and she felt an immense relief to hear that Aida shared many of her apprehensions. "Labour can't possibly be that bad, can it?" "I don't know, but have you seen those videos?" It turned out Aida was only 3 months further along than she was, but somehow looked twice her size. "Don't worry, he'll probably seem to grow over night soon. I wasn't always this big!" She received a rushed call from Ranger after dinner. He asked how they were, reassured her that he was fine but that he'd be back late. She heard noises in the background and he ended the call hurriedly with an "I love you babe." Stephanie squashed down her anxiety as she relayed the message back to Aida and tried instead to focus on how much his phone manners had improved. They decided to move to the living area to watch a movie, and much to her delight, she found a copy of Ghostbusters. More importantly, for once, she also had a willing companion to watch it with. They both ensconced themselves in the fluffy armchairs and had been watching in companionable silence when Aida lowered the volume.
"Stephanie… if you don't mind me asking,"
She looked over in curiosity as Aida seemed to hesitate.
"Did Ranger know you were pregnant when he was staying here?"
She probably should have expected that Aida would ask, after all, Aida would know that it be out of character for Ranger to not look after his responsibilities. Still, she found herself at a loss for words. She looked down at her lap and bit her lip as she tried to figure out how to explain what had happened, without it sounding as dramatic as she was imagining.
"Not exactly, no. I never told him, he only found out himself a week ago."
From the light from the television screen, she saw that Aida's eyebrows had risen. There was a beat of silence.
"Oh."
Oh indeed. It had sounded worse aloud than she'd thought. Much worse. She knew she needed to at least attempt to explain herself.
"Ranger stopped contacting me after he left to find Michael, and for months, I thought that he'd regretted what we'd done and that he didn't want anything to do with me anymore. So when I found out I was pregnant, I was terrified. I assumed he wouldn't want to know our baby either, so I decided not to tell him."
A frown had appeared as Aida listened to her, and Stephanie prepared herself for a harsh reprimand. She knew now that she shouldn't have let her insecurities overridden her judgement like that, but she couldn't change what she'd done. However, surprisingly, Aida seemed more puzzled than anything.
"I don't understand why he would do something like that. Carlos loves you, I know that. I heard him on the phone, asking about you every night." She felt her heart skip a little at that. Every night? "And Michael teased him about this mysterious 'bomber' for years. Even today, when he left, I've never seen him act the way he acted around you with anyone before. He loves you, I'm certain of it. It just doesn't make sense."
Dismay filled Stephanie as she realised that Aida had no idea what had happened before and after Michael's death. No one had told her that Ranger had declined the mission because he'd wanted to stay behind with Stephanie, that he'd been so overcome by guilt after Michael's death, he hadn't been able to come back to her. He'd come back to Aida instead. She knew she had to tell Aida, it wasn't fair to keep her in the dark. She just hoped it wouldn't cause her anymore pain.
"Did Ranger tell you he was supposed to go on the mission with Michael?"
Aida nodded thoughtfully.
"When he came back, he kept spouting off all this nonsense. He told me how sorry he was, that it was his fault because he was meant to have been there with Michael and protected him. But I told Carlos he was being ridiculous. It was those… those animals who took Michael away from us. There's no one else to blame for it. It's that simple." She paused. "But that doesn't explain the way he treated you."
Stephanie let out a breath, "He didn't go on the mission because he stayed behind for me."

There was a moment of silence after she'd finished speaking as Aida seemed to absorb everything she'd been told. Finally, Aida sighed. "Carlos. I knew he blamed himself, but I had no idea how much." She shook her head ruefully. "I should have known he would take it this hard, that he would do something stupid like this."
She looked so exhausted, both emotionally and physically, and for a moment, Stephanie felt an intense anger towards the world. It seemed like this whole situation had done nothing but hurt everyone involved. No one had won, and everyone still continued to suffer. It was just so unfathomably cruel.
"They really were that close, weren't they?" Stephanie murmured. She was beginning to realise just how much Michael's death must have affected Ranger; how much it must still affect him. She'd thought she'd understood before, but sitting here with Michael's widow, it seemed like their friendship had been more profound than she'd realised.
She saw a glitter of moisture in Aida's eyes.
"I don't think either of us will ever know exactly how much."

A/N: Hi everyone :) Sorry for the long wait again! I thought I had this chapter pretty well planned out but next thing I knew, it was going haywire and I had the beginning and middle and end of different chapters written and no full chapter (because I'm talented like that). The good news though is that, I believe, this has been the longest chapter yet (Huzzah!), and the next chapter will be up in a few days! I know this chapter was very much angst ridden (I apologise!) but I felt like it was necessary as Stephanie and Aida got to know each other that they discuss Michael and Ranger. The next chapter is has less angst though! I'm sure you're all glad to know :P I hope I did Aida's grief justice, I've been lucky enough to not have personal experience with such a loss so I found it quite difficult to write. If you have any criticisms or suggestions, please feel free to let me know!

Also, I thought that this chapter I would try using Stephanie, instead of Steph. What do you guys think? Thank you all again for the wonderful feedback and support, it's interesting to see how many of you remain so unimpressed by Ranger and the many different interpretations of Aida. What do you guys think of her after this chapter? Is Ranger still on your dartboard?

Finally, I hope you all enjoyed your Easter break and just a short warning from a sick person, stay away from us! Colds are not fun!

P.S
To the reviewer who asked :)
HEA= Happily Ever After
POS Car= Piece of s**t Car (basically a car in a terrible condition)

* I think? I wouldn't be surprised if I were wrong so please correct me if I am!