It took all of Gordon's effort to move that damn finger. Now he was exhausted. He was more than exhausted; it was like all the spirit had seeped out of him with that single flicker of movement. He had done it though. He had done it for his father. But now the aquanaut was shattered. Every fiber of his being was concentrated into shifting his finger ever so slightly, a small, insignificant movement…
But it was a start. Gordon could move his fingers. Some people might think that irrelevant, but to him it was groundbreaking, miraculous, and - even better - for a moment it distracted him from the horrible pain in his chest.
Jeff's voice was a hum. His words became muffled like he was speaking to him through a wall of cotton wool, but Gordon absorbed the feeling behind them. Happiness. He was happy. Gordon liked making people happy, that was his job. Wasn't that what John had said? If you're not smiling nobodies smiling. Well, Gordon wasn't smiling now. He couldn't even feel his face.
Wait.
John. Tall… irritatingly handsome…smart about boring things…recently tortured by the Hood. John. Johnny. Was he alright? Was he here? Gordon's thoughts were slipping again, facts, meanings…
There were footsteps. The noise was so loud in Gordon's head that it jolted him out of his state. Urgent feet pounded against lino. It thumped against his mind, making him more alert than before. Lots of footsteps. Why were these people running? It'd be pretty boring to stand around watching him. Voices. More voices. Gee, couldn't a guy get some rest around here? With all these people and that damn beeping silence just didn't exist.
One of the voices was babbling excitedly, too fast for Gordon's mind to keep up. The aquanaut swore he heard an 'I told you so' thrown into the mix. Nice one Alan. Another person was muttering something. They were close to Gordon, their whispered words smooth and reassuring…Virg was still there? How long had he been there? How long had Gordon been here? Weeks, months, decades? Was he old? No, time was barely even a concept to him now, but he knew it hadn't been long.
The absence of a voice disturbed Gordon. Scott. Where was he?
A voice – entirely foreign to his confused ears – caught his attention. "Alright Gordon, your father said he felt you moving? Could you do it again please, or open your eyes? If you can hear me do whatever movement you are comfortable with."
Open his eyes? Hell, a finger was one thing, eyes were entirely different.
Gordon wasn't sure that he could.
Desperately he tried to focus on those around him. The figures, their presences, he could feel them better than he could feel his own. Somehow he knew Alan was standing, hovering anxiously and excitedly at the same time. Alan. Focus on Alan, when you open your eyes, you're gonna see him. But the more Gordon tried the harder it became.
Nothing was moving. His brain didn't even feel like it was attached to his body. Why? This couldn't happen again, it just couldn't.
A moan escaped him. It was cracked and thin; barely even a whisper, but they all heard it. Gordon could tell by the audible gasp that passed around the room.
"It's alright son," Jeff's voice was low and soft, Gordon could hear it now. The cotton wool was dissolving around his head, fizzling away to painful clarity. Everything was too loud now, he was too aware. "I know you moved your finger – I felt it. I know you can do this."
Jeff was telling him that he could do this?
Was he even there?
Was Gordon dreaming?
Frustration threatened to boil over. Gordon wanted to scream, and kick, and tear the tubes from his arms. Wait, his arms. Ok, there were tubes in his arms. How did he know that? Because they were freaking annoying, that's why. So he could feel them then? Yes. He could feel them. Good. So he could move his fingers, and feel his arms, that meant his upper body should be working. Right?
"Come on Gords…" Virgil's small, broken, yet still somewhat melodic voice reached his ears. The last time Gordon heard the artist sound like that was when they heard about Jeff's crash. Not good. So Virgil was not happy…as time moved on Jeff's happiness was fading too…even Alan's bubbly words had stopped. They were all waiting with baited breath. Waiting for him. Gordon had to fight this. He had to do it for all of them. But it was so hard and he was so tired. Not just physically but mentally. The strength had just left him, his adrenaline and panic had bled him dry.
But Tracy's didn't give up. The man sitting next to him was a perfect example. Gordon knew how to push himself further than anybody, so now he was going to push himself. Drawing energy from everything that remained inside him, Gordon forced himself to focus. It was just a simple flicker and they'd be open. Gordon focused on his brothers. He needed to see them.
One, two, three…
Gordon's eyelids flickered. Somebody squeezed his hand. Ok good, he felt that too.
"Nearly there!" Alan's voice filled with such faith in him was enough to push Gordon over the edge.
His heavy eyelids lifted open, sending a blast of blinding light to fill his vision. The darkness was gone. There was a cheer from Alan and a muttered thank heaven from Virgil. Everything was blurry. Now that Gordon had his eyelids open, the hard part was keeping them up. Blinking slowly, shapes began to shift into place.
Alan was grinning at him like a lunatic, standing at the end of his bed. Gordon wanted to say something to him but found he couldn't open his mouth. All he could do was make a small croaking noise. Panic bubbled in Gordon's chest, his breathing growing quicker. Ouch. As his chest rose and fell faster, the pain grew.
"Woah hey – take it easy," that was Virgil. Gordon could hear him; he was to the left of him. But no matter how hard he tried, the aquanaut couldn't move his neck. Why couldn't he shift his head? Did he have a neck brace on? Why was this happening? All he wanted to do was see Virgil.
Eyes flickering around madly to try and see his brother, they landed on a different one instead. Scott was there – filling in John's position as silent shadow. He was watching from the corner of the room, arms folded across his chest, eyes studying Gordon intently. Gordon wanted him to move closer. He wanted to be able to read what his older brother was thinking. Was that concern? Gordon tried to lift his arm to draw Scott closer, but all he could manage was another flick of a finger. No. What was happening?
Gordon was unaware of the tears that sprang to his eyes.
There was a choked noise from the opposite side. "You did it again –" Jeff whispered. He sounded so damn pleased. But Gordon was getting more frustrated.
It's just a finger Dad – what about the rest of me? What about the important parts of me? Gordon wanted to scream at him. More than that, he wanted to scream at him to move. Because Gordon couldn't see his father. He couldn't shift his stupid head to see him, but that's all that he wanted. To know that he was actually there, that Gordon had done something right…
His expression must have twisted. Or perhaps he made another noise. Either way, Scott knew what he was thinking. How did Scott always know? Was there really a moment where Gordon thought that he hated him? That he couldn't trust him? "Dad – he can't see you," Scott's words were purposefully thin, "he's really there bud, don't fret."
"Oh - of course," there was a shuffle. Jeff got to his feet and maneuvered his body closer to the bed.
Gordon could see him now. He could see all the bruises and scars dotted across him, the Hood's artwork, but he didn't care about that. It was still their father. In that weary face Gordon saw the man that dealt with his tantrums throughout the years, who spent many hours in the principal's office with him, who pretty much pulled him out of school when the teachers complained he had ADHD. Jeff was the father that encouraged his importance of movement, the one that pretended not to cry at the Olympics, that was there every day after hydrofoil…
Gordon didn't see the scars. He saw his father. Just as Jeff didn't see the tubes, or the wounds, or the lack of movement. He saw his son.
"Why did it have to be you?" Jeff murmured. Alan laughed. Scott smiled. His words – the phrase used so often about Gordon- stole his breath and the heat from his skin. Gordon's defenses turned to paper. Nothing but weak and flimsy walls that were torn away by Jeff's very presence. Before he could draw more air, tears were spilling down Gordon's cheeks. "I…" an overcome murmur was all he could muster. He couldn't say anything. He couldn't move. But in that tiny second it didn't matter, not if Jeff was there, and his brothers.
"Shh hey, it's alright, you're awake now –"Jeff's squeezed his hand tightly, eyes never leaving Gordon's direct stare. "I'm right here."
Gordon couldn't move his stare that's why it was so freaking direct. His mouth opened, but his tongue was so thick and heavy that nothing was coming out. His mouth felt like it was filled with sandpaper. Gordon pushed himself to try and get his legs to move. Ok, so he could feel his torso, the worsening pain in his chest was enough of a signifier of that…but he couldn't feel his legs. It chilled him to the bone that he couldn't feel them. They were there, he could see them, but nothing told him that they were his.
Choking on a sob, Gordon felt the panic rise again. It was worse this time. He wanted to wriggle away from his father's comforting grasp. It was all so confusing. Everything hurt, but at the same time, he felt nothing. It was just a horridly stuck sensation – like he was in a dream where someone was chasing him, but he wasn't able to move. It was exactly like that but a thousand times worse because it was real. Damn his body. Damn it to all hell.
"I c-can't…" the words sounded croaky and strange to his ears, like they belonged to someone else. But the startled expression on his brother and fathers faces said he didn't imagine it.
"Shh, don't try to speak yet," Jeff's words were infuriatingly calm. He ran a hand down Gordon's cheek gently. "You've done enough, this was enough."
"He's right Gords, look at you, you'll be all healed in no time," Alan was back to bouncing on the balls of his feet.
Gordon desperately tried to shake his head. This wasn't enough. He had to move, until he moved he wouldn't rest. "No. N-no…Dad…I c-can't m…move…"
Alarm flashed in Jeff's eyes. "Yes you can. You opened your eyes; you can move your fingers. That's enough for now my love; just…just…take it easy. You can't expect to be back to full function straight away after what happened."
What happened? Gordon was shot wasn't he? That was it. He didn't hurt his back. Well, he didn't remember hurting his back. What was going on? Why was this happening? Oh god, now it felt like he couldn't breathe. Not again…Chest rising and falling sharply, the panic was laced through his words. "N-no…Virg…Virg are you there? I c-can't feel my legs…help-" Tears were flowing freely now, but they weren't ones of relief, but of terror. The heart rate on the monitor was heightening as Gordon felt his breath get caught in his throat.
"Sir, please move out of the way," the foreign voice was back. Jeff was pushed away from his line of sight. Gordon was straining now, his chest was aching, black spots were dancing before his vision, and he still couldn't move…There was a clatter as someone got to their feet. Virgil slipped into Gordon's sight range for a single moment, but then hurried out of the room, one arm brought up to his face.
Exhausted, Gordon felt himself slipping; desperately trying to remember his families faces before his exhaustion encompassed him.
ooooo
Sometimes, Scott hated having such a big family.
No, who was he kidding; Scott loved them all and couldn't imagine life without any of them. No matter how many tantrums he had to deal with, or fights he had to break up, it was all worth it, and he wouldn't take it any other way.
It was hard, however, when the eldest was pulled in so many directions. Jeff had sunk back into his seat, face pale, Gordon's limp hand clenched in his own as the doctor leant Gordon's body. The relief at his sons awakening had been quickly wiped away by the panic attack that followed. Alan too appeared to still be in a state of shock, staring at Gordon with a strangely betrayed expression. His hands were rubbing nervously against one another- a clear sign that both tense and frustrated energy was building in the youngest Tracy.
But what had they expected? For Gordon to wake up with a smile on his face? For him to be instantly ok? No, Scott wasn't shocked by the reaction at all. He remembered Gordon's first response after the hydrofoil accident - he remembered it because he and Jeff had been the only one's there. The doctors hadn't expected the aquanaut to wake so soon, but Gordon being Gordon had defied all the odds.
It had been one of the worst moments of Scott's life – to hear Gordon say he'd rather die than not be able to move. But that was the first moment, things had got better. Scott had to remember that. He had to hold onto that, or it might be too much for him as well.
Scott wanted to go to both of them. His father needed him. His little brother needed him. Gordon needed him. Scott wasn't exactly sure he was the appropriate person to be needed at the moment, not when he was a mess himself. But he was torn in different directions and it pained him that he couldn't be with them all at once. However, Scott had to make a choice. One person needed him more in that moment than all of them, and Scott's feet were already leading him towards them.
Striding forward, a solution cleared its way. Scott squeezed Alan's shoulder and leant in close, "Hey kid, stay with Dad and Gords. Talk to them yeah? I'll be back in a bit. I've gotta…go after Virg."
Alan nodded, straightening at this important 'order' given to him by his brother. The youngest Tracy darted over to their father, a cheery expression moving onto his face as he went on exclaiming about how well Gordon had just done.
With a heavy heart Scott walked out into the corridor. Virgil hadn't been able to handle it, and Scott understood. It was so hard for the medic to just be helpless around his brothers. Virgil's huge empathy was a quality that Scott always marveled at; it was what made him such a passionate and understanding person. But it also brought him closer to people's pain and suffering. He endured these feelings alone most of the time until they just became too much. Even when they did overflow, he didn't admit it. The artist would leave the room so that others didn't have to empathize with him. So that others didn't have to experience what he was going through. It was overwhelming compassion that pushed the middle brother over the edge.
He was standing alone in the corridor, lingering outside the door to John's room. Only now and again would a doctor or nurse scuttle past as the early hours of the morning broke. Virgil's back was turned, like he was waiting for permission to enter John's room. But Scott could see his shoulders visibly shaking.
Scott frowned and moved towards him. Damn, he hated this. He wanted to share his brothers' pain. He'd take it all from them if he could.
"Virgil…" Scott kept his voice low as he reached a hand out toward his shoulder. As much as he encouraged his brothers to talk to him, Virgil was quite a private person. Well, not as private as John. In a way he was worse than John. The astronaut at least had his blunt honesty on his side, whereas Virgil liked to spare people anything that would make them feel worse. Therefore he would try to hide any indication that he was upset. Especially hide it from Scott. But Scott always knew anyway.
Virgil shrugged him off. "Someone should tell John," he said, words barely a whisper. "I…I haven't even seen him yet, I've been too busy watching Gords, do you think he'll mind?"
"No, he understands." Scott couldn't help but sound unbelieving at Virgil's attempt to distract Scott from his distress. "Is that why you ran off? You feel guilty about John?"
"S-sure." Virgil's voice broke. He took a deep breath but the shudder in it was painfully audible.
Scott sighed. Why did Virgil constantly insist on bottling himself up? He was a man that worked on emotion, that sensed it better than anyone, but not in himself. "Look at me -"
"No. Just give me a second-" Virgil sniffed. He brought his arm up to his face and wiped at his eyes. "I'll be back with you all in a bit, ok? I just need a moment."
"Virg."
"Scott, I'm fine. Just…just go back."
Scott gave a small chuckle. He reached out his hand again and laid it gently on the artists shoulder. "Don't say fine so close to John's room. He might hear you."
"What?" Virgil didn't shrug him away this time.
"You can ask him later," slowly, Scott pushed his brother so that he was facing him.
Virgil glanced at him briefly, expression filled with a pure anguish that Scott hadn't seen in quite a while. It shimmered in his dark eyes before he looked down at his feet, squeezing his eyes shut. "I knew it was going to happen Scotty…I shouldn't have moved him so quickly but I didn't think there would be any time."
"You couldn't have known anything for sure," Scott murmured softly. "I know you did what you thought was right. We all trusted you, and you saved him. Ok? You got him here."
"Why is it always up to me?" Virgil's head dropped lower in both a sign of defeat and exhaustion. Scott knew that even when he dozed off for a while, Virgil had always been up. He didn't sleep for a second and he didn't leave Gordon's side. The adrenaline was well and truly worn off now so the artist was practically working off nerves. "I love being able to heal – don't get me wrong, and I know you guys are all basically trained…but sometimes it's too much for me. This…p-pressure…" Virgil raised a shaky hand to his chest. "I was the only one that could make that decision to move Gordon…and it was hard, really hard…now if he never moves again he'll blame me-"
"Never moves again? Woah now Virg, slow down!" Scott shook his head and steadied his brother. "Gordon would not like to hear you say that. He's only just woken up – there's no way he was going to be able to move everything straight away. Hell, I'm pretty pleased with that finger! It's still very early stages here. Don't get all doom and gloom on me."
"Right…" Virgil bit his lip. "But…did you see how afraid he was? Did you see how terrified his eyes were when he said he couldn't move his legs? I know after the accident Gords always played off paralysis like it was no big deal but…it's what scares him most. To think that I might have put him…in that situation again…" Virgil quickly drew his hand up to his mouth as tears threatened to break out again.
Scott stepped forward and locked his arms around his brother. Virgil buried his head into Scott's shoulder for a moment. It was very rare for Virgil to cry – even rarer for him to do it around someone else. But these were not normal circumstances, and Scott knew exactly how he was feeling. "Of course he's afraid, and confused, but that's not on you. We'll help him, won't we?"
"O-of course. It's just…he told me that his legs weren't working. Me."
"I know… because you're right, he was scared. The idea that you were there comforted him."
"But…I suppose."
Gently pulling away, Scott kept his hands firmly on the artists shoulder. "Virg, he's alive isn't he?" Scott couldn't help but break into a smile. "He's a survivor. We all are. Dad's alive, Johnny's alive…we're all here."
There was a pause as Virgil's expression darkened. He didn't share an ounce of his brother's happiness. "Yeah, but if we weren't? If the Hood had killed you and Johnny straight off the bat – if he had taken Dad? I would have been left behind. You just drove off, with no plan, nothing…I could have come with you. I should have come with you-"
Scott quickly cut him off. Now they had reached the true point of frustration. "No. I had to leave Gordon and Al with you-"
"You could have left them with John!"
"Yes I could have but I'm glad I didn't. John did exactly what I would have done, he was…is so strong Virg. Stronger than I ever realised."
Virgil glared at him. "Are you saying I wouldn't have lasted?"
"No, I'm saying if you were there the Hood would have all the information on International Rescue by now."
"What? You think I would have said something?"
"No! I would have said something you idiot. Seriously, I was at breaking point with Johnny, and the further down the line we go the worse it gets…Why do you guys want to throw yourselves into danger all the time? It's not good for me."
"We follow by example…" Virgil muttered, a peculiar expression crossing his face. "You would have given up the information for me?"
Scott shrugged it off like it was nothing, though in reality he had no idea how it would have turned out. "John probably would too… and Dad."
"…you think I'm not strong?"
"No it's not that. I know you're strong. It was just safer for you to stay-"
"Safer? Scott just stop." Virgil held up a hand. "l have had to sit by and watch while all my stupid brothers did stupid things. First you race off to New York alone with five minutes notice, and then you dump an unstable Gordon in my arms while you and John go gallivanting after the most dangerous criminal mastermind International Rescue has ever encountered. Then my little brothers force me to go after you-"
"Force you?"
"Then Gordon goes insane, drags me around an underground lair and decides he's on a mission to become a martyr. All the while I've been trying to get you all to slow down and think for once in your damn lives, but nobody ever listens to me. Do they Scott?" Breathing heavily, Virgil's anguish had been replaced by anger.
Scott opened his mouth to say something. He hadn't even thought of it that way. Virgil was his rock – he was everyone's rock, he was always there to balance the chaos with the calm. When Scott left him behind, he just knew he was leaving things in safe hands. In capable hands. Virgil liked to take things slow – so what happens when they're all moving too fast for him to keep up? "Oh man I didn't even-"
"I know," Virgil sighed, reading Scott's apology before it was out of his mouth. His frown wavered as he looked toward John's room. "I-I can't even be angry with you. Upset maybe, but not angry."
"I just wanted to protect you…and the others," Scott said softly. It was all he ever tried to do. "Didn't turn out very well."
"No. Does it ever? They don't want protecting."
"I know."
"Seriously, I tried too."
"Yeah?"
"They threatened to hijack 'Two."
"They what?"
"My reaction exactly…" Virgil sighed heavily, running both hands through his ruffled hair. "Ah hell Scott, I'm such a mess."
"You're overtired…" Scott said warily. "We're all a mess if I'm honest. But I really am sorry for what I put you through. You know I'd never hurt you intentionally. I got caught up in the moment, like always I suppose. Some part of me still thinks it was a good idea…the other part knows it was a bad one. I'll never be able to figure out which it was."
"Because that would mean deciding between finding Dad or Gordon getting shot."
"Exactly."
Virgil hesitated, looking up and down the empty corridor. Early morning rays of sun were beginning to stream through the windows. "I don't…I'm not sure I want to go back in there. Not yet."
"That's ok. I understand." Scott said gently. He did understand. Perhaps the eldest Tracy would have stayed with Virgil if he didn't think it was so important for him to be by Gordon's side. Scott took responsibility for all of this happening – not just the events of the day, but the aquanaut's mindset, him leaving, everything. No matter how many times Jeff or John told him it wasn't his fault it still wouldn't change anything. Scott, as commander, as older brother, was inherently responsible. So that meant Scott had to be around to fix it.
"Everything ok out here?" Jeff's shadowy figure startled them both. Scott turned quickly to come face to face with a more composed Jeff. Perhaps Virgil's departure had triggered something in him, or maybe it was because Alan had been given babysitting duty. Either way, he held himself higher, his head raised, eyes hard. There was a part of him that still wanted to hang back and figure out where he fit now. Scott could tell by the flicker of uncertainty when their gazes met. Indecision didn't suit the Tracy patriarch considering the fact that a stubborn – yet kind – assertiveness was what defined him as a leader and father. Luckily, that hesitance was gone when Jeff looked toward Virgil. "Virg?"
"Yeah I'm just…" Virgil looked down at his feet in hope that Jeff wouldn't notice his eyes. "We were talking. Is Gordon…?"
"Asleep again. Should be out for a while now, but he did well…" a smile graced Jeff's lips briefly but was gone in an instant as he realised Virgil didn't share his pleasure. With a gaze as intense as John's their father studied his middle son. It was a stare that could search souls, and Scott had many a time been on the receiving end. "Are you going to get some rest now?"
Virgil shook his head. Scott made a displeased noise but let his father handle it. To his surprise, Jeff didn't argue with the artist. "Then how about you and I go get some coffee? I am in desperate need of it. You look like your swaying."
Virgil looked up, dark eyebrows drawing together. "It will be hospital coffee. You hate hospital coffee."
"I haven't had coffee in a long time. It will taste like heaven no matter what."
"That's true. I don't suppose they serve anything stronger?"
Jeff chuckled. The sound surprised Scott, so much so that he found himself smiling too. Jeff thought about it for a moment, "No, I don't think so. I'll be looking forward to that when we all get back to the Island."
"If there's any left," Virgil's frown softened as he looked towards Scott. "I might have told him where you kept it."
"Betrayal," Jeff clicked his tongue against his teeth in playful disappointment. He placed an arm Virgil's shoulder and steered him in the direction of the exit from the private wing. "You'll be alright here Scott? We'll be back in a moment."
Virgil looked startled at having been moved, and also at the fact he didn't really have a choice in where he was going. Scott smiled. Maybe some of the famous assertiveness was returning. "Of course. I'll sit with Gords."
Jeff dipped his head in thanks and father and son walked off in the opposite direction. Scott stared after them for a while, glad that Jeff had taken that initiative. If Virgil needed anything right now, it was a talk with their father, and Jeff knew that. Even if it was hard for him – which Scott suspected it was – then it was good he was pushing himself.
Ducking into John's room, Scott found the astronaut fast asleep. John had a strange way of sleeping where he lay perfectly still and straight as though arranged in a coffin. Having a mini heart attack the eldest Tracy had to check he was actually still breathing. Scott was glad he was resting but at the same time felt selfishly disappointed. There was nothing like a discussion with John to make him see clearly again. Making a mental note to go back in half an hour in case he woke, Scott left 'sleeping beauty' (as he'd been dubbed by the tinies) to his slumber.
Feeling like he was playing musical brothers, Scott made his way to Gordon's room. Alan was humming softly from the chair next to his closest brother's bed. Gordon was peaceful now too, though it unnerved Scott more because usually the aquanaut was an extremely restless sleeper. Even in dream land he wanted to be constantly moving. "Hey buddy," Scott wasn't really sure who he was directing the comment too. "We ok?"
"Yeah, we're fine," Alan answered for both of them anyway. "Aren't we Gordy?"
Scott smiled at his youngest brother. "You never doubt him, do you kid?"
"Never!" Alan beamed in his direction, hitting Gordon softly on the arm. "That would break the code of brotherhood. Besides, I figured someone's gotta be positive around here while Gordon's out of action. Otherwise we'd be stuck with a whole lot of worrying sad sacks. And John, but he's kind of out of action too. Gords doesn't need negative energy around him. He absorbs happiness."
"You make him sound like a sponge."
Alan snorted. "He practically is one."
Scott rolled his eyes, but Alan's words resounded in his mind. The kid was right. Gordon did thrive best in jovial situations, so why should they change it now? Scott sighed, wondering when Alan had somehow become unintentionally smarter than him. It was quite a talent.
Alan leant closer towards Gordon. "You know what I was thinking? You'd probably still be able to beat me at that stupid game."
Scott lifted an eyebrow.
Alan acted as though his brother had answered. "You can only move one finger and you'd still win. Proves how rotten I am at it."
It took a lot for Alan to admit he was bad at something. Scott was rather impressed, even if he didn't have a clue what he was going on about. "He'll be able to move more than that, don't worry."
Alan shrugged. "I'm not worried."
"Seriously Al, you don't have to pretend-"
"I'm not pretending Scott," Alan rolled his eyes toward Gordon as though his partner in crime could actually see him. "You hearing this Gee? He's trying to get me aboard the smother train too. But don't worry, I won't change sides. My allegiance will always be with the rebel alliance."
"Alan," In effort to get his brother to talk to him, Scott ducked around to his side of the bed. It was a very Alan tactic to brush serious questions off with space references. "I'm not the empire here buddy, you can tell me if you're upset. I won't chop your hand off."
"But…I'm not," Alan looked up at him, that innocent expression so endearing, but also simultaneously frustrating. "I thought he might not wake up – but he did. He could see, he could speak, he was a little freaked out but we'll get over that. I remember hydrofoil. I remember that he hated pity and sorrow, so I'm not gonna give him that. I'm just gonna tell really bad jokes until he has to wake up again to join in."
"…When did you get so mature huh?"
"What have bad jokes got to do with being mature?" Alan shrugged and leant forward. "Besides, Dad's back. How can I not be happy?"
Scott nodded, feeling guilty that he didn't quite feel the same way. "He seem ok to you?"
"Who? Dad? Yeah he seemed fine. We talked for ages – he's the same as Gordy, he doesn't want pity, or worry. I think he just wants distraction, so I was telling him all about our rescues that we've been doing. Knowing that we've still been helping people makes him happy. Ya know, the reminder that there's still good in the world, and all that sickening stuff."
Scott nodded, though internally he was hoping Alan wasn't giving their father more reason to doubt his commanding abilities. He was about to ask him something else when the youngest turned the tables on him. "Are you ok?"
"I…" Scott was not used to being asked that question. "Yeah…I think so. For the most part."
"By 'for the most part' you mean 'freaking out about Gordon, John, Dad and Virg' right?"
"Well yeah, that's kind of normal for me. Except your names usually on there."
"It's not at the moment though, right?"
Scott smiled at him. Surprisingly, no, he wasn't worried about Alan. He really needed to give the youngster more credit for handling situations like these. Not that they arose very often. "Nah, you're easy."
Alan nodded, as though he had completed a very important job. Operation 'get Scott not to worry for once' was a success. Scott smiled and sat down next to his brother. Never before in his life had he wished he could be more like Alan. Right now though…the kid had the right attitude. One day he was going to compete for top spot on International Rescue's piloting ranks as well, so perhaps it wasn't such a bad thing to aspire to be like little Tracy.
No, even with all the worry and stress that came with the job, Scott would never give up being eldest. A couple weeks ago he might have been thinking different, but not now, not when his family truly needed him.
Alan and Scott sat next to one another in silence for quite a while. At the half hour point Scott made good on his promise and went to check on John, who was still sleeping. He did the same every half hour after that, until three hours had passed and neither Jeff nor Virgil had returned. But that didn't concern Scott very much. The idea that the artist and their father were locked into some time consuming conversation was comforting – it was what they both needed, a distraction, as Alan had put it.
There was no sign of re-awakening from Gordon, so Alan was getting restless. Every now and again he would get up and go for a walk down the hall, or hunt down a vending machine, or visit John even if Scott had just been. As an older brother, Scott had a bit of patience. Alan didn't really have any.
So when Jeff finally returned, Alan was quick to jump to his feet. "Dad!"
Jeff raised an eyebrow at the enthusiastic greeting. He looked visibly more relaxed, even if the worry was still evident when he looked towards Gordon. Scott wondered if it was the coffee or the talk with Virgil that had him calm down. "Alan," Jeff attempted to sound as equally enthusiastic. Scott chuckled. "All fine here?"
"Yes sir, this one's getting jumpy though."
"I am not!"
Jeff smiled at Alan's tone. "Virgil's with John. They're both ok I think…for now anyway-"
"Wait, John's awake?" Scott couldn't help but sound annoyed. "Anyone would think he's been avoiding me…"
Alan laughed. "Maybe he has, I try to avoid you when you're in smother mode."
"Well thanks Al."
"No problem."
Jeff smiled at them both before sitting himself down next to Alan. The waiting game commenced again. Scott spent the rest of the morning flittering between his brother's rooms. He even had time to eat breakfast which was a positive. Virgil and John would be silently enjoying one another's company whenever he visited, while Jeff and Alan were talking about everything and anything the youngest could think of. Scott was the wanderer for once – taking comfort in just observing them all, and knowing they were alright.
When noon came, Grandma Tracy arrived. Scott was in awe of how well she handled the situation. She bypassed Jeff completely in favor of seeing John and Gordon. The former had been very much awake at her visit, but Gordon remained unresponsive. Ruth Tracy wasn't fazed one bit, telling the aquanaut she wouldn't put up with it if he didn't wake up again. Once she got her grounding with her Grandson's (including the uninjured ones) she and Jeff disappeared for a long while. Sometimes Scott forgot that she had lost – or thought she'd lost – her son. Her only son, at that. She busied herself with her Grandsons to hide her grief- but now she didn't need to do that any longer. Jeff no doubt needed that time with her too; Ruth Tracy was the best support system any of them could ask for.
That was proved by the time nightfall came. After a full day of hospital food and seating, she was determined to get them all out of there.
"The boys will still be here tomorrow," she insisted in that 'no nonsense' tone. "The rest of you need a good night sleep in proper beds. I've already booked a hotel, those nice security men offered to take me, so I'd like you to come too."
Scott had no intention of going with her, but made a good case in insisting it was a good idea for the others. Virgil was reluctant, but his utter exhaustion could no longer be kept at bay by coffee. In the end he didn't put up much of a fight, and neither did a yawning Alan. He kept telling Gordon he'd be back as soon as the sun was rising. Scott wanted Jeff to go too – he needed the most rest out of all of them. The only way he got out of going with Ruth was by promising to get more checkups by the doctors.
With trust in her son, Grandma Tracy had whisked the other two away, much to Scott's relief. He was glad they'd get to rest.
Jeff had made a great front of going to actually speak to one of the doctors, before sneaking back into Gordon's room once his mother had left. "Half a day with her and she's already on my case," he said fondly, returning to his normal position by Gordon's bed.
"Someone needs to be," Scott replied, half seriously. "Honestly father, I don't know how you're still standing. I'm sore and tired and I only got a couple of hits on me."
"Yeah well, maybe raising you boys put me through a lot more than you realise. I came out of the experience strong."
"'Out of the experience?' It's still happening as far as I'm aware."
"Oh yes, I'm going to have to start doing that again aren't I? Being a father."
Scott chuckled softly, but there was a hint of trepidation about his father's expression. "You're doing fine Dad; no one's expecting you to do anything, trust me. We're all just glad you're around."
"So am I…" Jeff muttered. Rubbing at his eyes he tried to suppress a yawn. It was surprising how waiting around could get so tiring.
Scott braved the question he had meant to ask all day. "Dad…we can't halt International Rescue for too long…you know that right?"
"Of course," Jeff replied quietly, but there was nothing decisive about his tone. "There are other people's lives in the balance."
"Exactly. So I was thinking that…once we see what Gordon's condition is…I guess I'd go back, maybe with Virgil. You could stay here…" Scott trailed off, not liking the sound of the idea.
Jeff didn't like the sound of it either. "No. I don't want to split up, not now. We go back to the Island together or not at all."
Scott bit back a frustrated reply. Gordon could take months to heal, more if it was serious. They couldn't exactly wait around the hospital for that amount of time…Perhaps Gordon could heal at the Island. But that wouldn't be fair to Virgil…Scott shook his head. They would figure it out when it came to it. For now, for this night, the world would be fine without International Rescue. Well, he hoped it would.
"Let's just try not to think about it now…" Jeff said softly. Those words were rarely uttered out of the mouth of a man that valued order and planning. But Scott understood how hard it was to look to the future when they were so stuck in the present; every hitch in Gordon's breathing making them only more alert to the situation.
A silence fell between them. Scott continued to watch his brothers breathing. It appeared to be becoming more erratic as time moved on, different from how peacefully he was sleeping beforehand. Jeff had noticed it too – one hand moving to Gordon's as he sensed what was about to happen.
Gordon's eyes flung open. Scott's surprise was dampened by apprehension, but nothing could reduce the overwhelming love he felt for his brother in that moment. Gordon was fighting. He had opened his eyes again.
The aquanaut stared blankly upwards at the ceiling, eyes narrowing and widening as he went through the initial period of confusion and realization. Those brown eyes flickered sideways towards Scott and tried to absorb his appearance. Remembering Alan's words about happy moods, the eldest Tracy smiled at him.
Gordon didn't say anything. His eyes flickered in the other direction, now taking in Jeff. Jeff smiled too and squeezed his hand tightly. "Gordon…hey, you did it again!" Their father looked down at his hand as Gordon's fingers wiggled in his own.
Scott was practically ready to cheer so loud that the other end of the hospital could hear him. It was more than one finger now, it was all of them. On his other hand the aquanaut was wiggling them too. Scott's smile grew to be a genuine one. But Gordon didn't address this improvement at all, seemingly lost in thought.
"I…k-knocked all the stuff off your desk…" Gordon's words were hoarse, uttering the sentence apparently taking a lot out of him. He attempted to clear his throat but winced as he did so.
"What?" Jeff leant in closer to make sure he was hearing right. "What are you talking about love?"
"The stuff. Your desk. I knocked it." Gordon repeated breathily, closing his eyes. "Then I tried to put it all back on but I don't think I did it right. I messed it up."
"I…" Jeff shared a perplexed glance with Scott. The eldest had no idea what his brother was talking about, he was just glad he was talking. "I don't mind son. I'll fix it when we go back."
"That's why I had to get you…so you could fix it…" Gordon moved his gaze back to Scott. "You see why? So he could fix it. That's why I did it."
"Fix the desk Gordy?" Scott asked quietly, knowing fully well his brother didn't mean that at all.
Gordon's reply sounded so small. "Fix everything."
Jeff tried to hide the choking sound he made. He drew a hand across his mouth and sat back, looking at Gordon with a pained expression. "I'm afraid I'm not doing much of that at the moment."
"But you're here…" Gordon held his eyes closed, tapping his fingers on his father's palm.
Jeff nodded, brushing a stray hair away from his son's eyes. "Thanks to you."
"Thanks to me…" Gordon repeated vacantly, the idea not really processing. "Thanks to me…a lot of things went bad thanks to me. But I did this one right, didn't I? I couldn't let him take you away…I couldn't let you die…"
Scott could practically pin point the moment Jeff's heart broke at the comment. Their father had to take a second to steady his voice before answering. "Nothing went bad because of you Gordon- nothing. It got worse because you left maybe, but doesn't that just prove how much your brothers needed you around?"
Gordon narrowed his eyes. "They…they won't need me anymore…they can't…" He glared down at his legs, his fingers dancing more wildly as it proved to still be the only movement he could muster. Frustrated tears sprung to his eyes again.
Scott cut in before another panic attack could be brought on. "Hey, stop it." Scott folded his arms and made sure his brother could hear the authoritive tone in his words. "Remember our motto Gordon?"
"I remember not liking our motto."
"We take it slow and we don't give up."
"That was the hydrofoil motto," Gordon hissed. "This isn't hydrofoil! I can't take it. Not again, why did this happen? I don't understand!"
"The bullet caused micro fractures in your vertebrae; it might have triggered an old-"
"No," Gordon's voice was hostile and raspy. It didn't sound at all recognizable. "I don't want to know that. I want to know why I didn't die. I was supposed to die; it would have been fine if I died. But now I have to go through this…again!" his voice broke and his hand began to shake. "I got Dad back! Why couldn't that have been enough?"
Scott reeled back, the comment sending shards of steel into his heart. Jeff had paled considerably- eyes searching for the boy he had left, the one that had been so full of life and optimism. He was nowhere to be seen now, but Scott knew he was still in there. "Don't say that Gordon," Scott snapped, as sharply as intended. "You're an idiot if you think everything would have been fine if you died-"
"It's better than being paralyzed-"
"You're not paralyzed-"
"I feel pretty freaking paralyzed Scott," Gordon's hands were now clenching into fists. Scott didn't have time to admire his range of movement in that department. "I can't even feel my legs-"
"I'll help you. Like I did before."
"What's the point?" Gordon laughed this time. A cold, humorless laugh. "I'm no use to International Rescue anymore…if I was any use to begin with."
"Gordon!" Scott barked, every word tearing into his very soul. "You're not just a part of International Rescue –I don't even care about that aspect at the moment. We don't only want you around because you can drive a sub. We want you because you're our brother, a part of this family."
"Sure. The brother that…that breaks things."
"No."
"That can't help people."
"No."
"That's a burden! Expendable…is that what he said? Was t-that true Dad?" the tears were flowing freely down Gordon's cheeks again and every second Scott just wanted to shake sense into him. He also wanted to yell at himself. How could Scott have let it get this bad? How could he have missed all the signs?
"No." Jeff's fierce 'no' made Gordon freeze. He was clutching the sides of the chair tightly, eyes flickering with embers of rage. "Gordon…" he said slowly, words controlled with a tone that no one dared argue with. "I haven't been here son, so I don't know everything that's been going on. But you're saying that you break things? Well no, you've clearly been trying to draw this family back together. You say you can't help people? You freed me from the Hood, you saved Scott's life. You think you're expendable? Well you're damn wrong on that front too, boy."
Gordon's lip trembled but he didn't say anything.
"I know you think that you and I…that we aren't exactly similar. It doesn't mean I don't love you, far from it. You're our 'sunshine baby'…that's what your mother used to call you."
Jeff placed a hand on the side of Gordon's face. His tone softened. "You think I'd survive without ever seeing that grin of yours again? I don't know what's put these ideas in your head – but paralyzed or not, we want you around. I thought you knew that?"
Gordon swallowed, expression twisting. "I couldn't make everyone happy – the only thing left I could do was g-go after you…"
"And you did that son, you found me."
"I…I didn't want to forget what you looked like…" Gordon whispered, words shifting from angry to vulnerable. "Sometimes I forget what mum looks like. I didn't want that to happen with you."
"Well, you don't have to worry about that anymore." Jeff hesitated for a moment. "When…when I was in that room, in the dark, alone…I'd remember those pictures that I have on my desk. I'd try to draw it in my mind, the exact details of them, yours was the easiest because your spirit is so vibrant in it…"
Gordon sniffed. "I thought…maybe you'd be forgetting me too."
"Never."
Scott's face crumpled in dismay as he realised Gordon had been carrying around that fear on his own. He never told anyone that. Why didn't he speak to Scott? Because he was too busy, that's why. Too busy trying to command, trying to do things efficiently…the others had been right all along… "I should have listened to you Gordy."
Gordon's eyes flickered back towards Scott's side. He frowned.
"You said I should stop trying to be like Dad, and you were right. I should have been your brother – and I should have listened to you. You were right to go in after that woman, you were right to challenge me, you were right to leave…I was terrible to you. I see that now, I'd do anything to go back and change that."
"No…you weren't…" Gordon blinked slowly, trying to pull back hazy memories. "You were just…trying to help."
"But we're all bad at that now and again, aren't we?"
Gordon's lip twitched. "I was horrible too. I said you were cold – that you didn't care. That's not true; I didn't mean any of those things."
"I'm sorry I wasn't there for you."
"I'm sorry I left without saying."
There was a significant pause as all of this sunk in. The various emotions that crossed Gordon's face were too fast to track. Scott wasn't sure how much of this he was taking to heart, but he hoped all of it. There was something else he had to take to heart too, "You know what you weren't right in doing?" Scott glared at him. "Trying to sacrifice yourself for me. For all of us."
"But-"
"No, no buts on that one. Seriously, once your better you and I are going to have a real talk about that move."
"…better..." Gordon muttered.
"Yeah better." Scott screwed up his nose and nudged Gordon gently. "I don't care how long it takes; we'll get you back on your feet again."
Gordon rolled his eyes, but Scott saw something there, in his eyes. A flicker of life – of determination. "I remember last time. You're more grueling than any WASP commander I ever had."
"That was the point. I'll do it all again in a heartbeat Gordon, I swear."
Gordon paused. He studied Scott, really studied him, finally taking in his words to be the truth. "I…I appreciate that. Honestly I do." Glancing around, the aquanaut apparently noticed the rest of the clan's absence. "Where…where is everybody?"
"Grandma took the others away," Scott said.
"Grandma!" Gordon's eyes brightened. Scott chuckled, relieved that enthusiasm was returning to his brother. Jeff was watching Gordon intently, like any small movement he made would signal something dramatic was about to happen.
"She'll be back in the morning with them."
"What about John?" Gordon's expression darkened. "I meant to ask about him before! Is he ok? Where is he? Is he hurt badly? Oh I'm such an idiot I didn't even-"
"He's alright," Jeff soothed, surprised at how worked up Gordon was getting over forgetting about his brother. "He's in another room, but he's fin…he's uh…sore."
"He shouldn't be alone," Gordon said quietly, closing his eyes as the effort of the conversation began to take its toll. "None of us should. I want…to see him…?"
"In the morning you can," Scott said softly. "Only if you promise to fight this."
"Hmm?" Gordon was drifting away again.
"Promise to work with me. I'll help you through it Gords, through everything. We'll all help."
A sleepy smile flickered onto the aquanauts face. Jeff made another noise, turning his face away from Scott. Scott gripped Gordon's hand. "I love you Gordy, remember that yeah?"
Gordon nodded before letting his head sink back into the pillows.
Scott and Jeff froze. Jeff's mouth curved into a smile. Scott reached a hand out to his brother's shoulder, overflowing with pride. "Did he just…?"
"Nod? I think so."
"Wow…" Scott shook his head in awe. This certainly wasn't the first time he was in awe of his youngest brother, and he knew it certainly wouldn't be the last. There wasn't a person on earth quite like Gordon Tracy- and Scott had never appreciated it more than he did then.
ooooo
Gordon woke to chattering. Lots of chattering. Lots of annoying chattering.
They sounded like early morning birds, except far less pretty to listen too. Maybe if Virgil sung it would have sounded more like birdsong. If any of the others tried to sing it may have sounded more like dying birds. Basically, they were annoying.
But still, Gordon had never been more pleased to wake up. His throat hurt, his chest ached, his lungs barely wanted to breathe, and he still couldn't move his legs, but…all his brothers were there. He could hear them. Even John's light words floated in and out of his conscious. Jeff must have had him moved. Neither Jeff nor Grandma Tracy's presences were in the room, which scared him for a moment. But then he remembered a thing called breakfast, and that the two of them were probably having one.
This time when he woke, it was with a clearer mind, the side effects of whatever drug had been in him wearing off. At first, nobody noticed that his eyes had opened. Alan, Scott and Virgil were all crowded around John's bed, all holding a group of cards. John was holding some too – though looked less engaged than the others, probably because he'd already mathematically deciphered who was going to win.
"Hey – wasn't it my turn?" Alan was saying, bouncing up and down in his chair.
"Uh no I don't think so," Virgil muttered back, in deep thought about his next move.
"Just wait till next time," as always, Scott was on Virgil's side.
Gordon rolled his eyes. Somebody had to stick up for Alan. "It was your turn Al. They're cheating you – I say take the money and run while you can."
Scott and Virgil whirled around. Alan gasped, promptly discarded all his cards across John's bed, before racing over to Gordon's bed. John looked neutral, as though he had known Gordon was awake all along.
Alan sat at the end of his brother's bed, making Gordon's entire form bounce up and down. "You're awake! Scott said you were up again last night. Why did you have to go and do that while I was away, huh?"
"I did it on purpose," Gordon said dryly.
"Rude."
"How are you feeling?" Scott attempted to look relaxed but failed. Gordon knew that he had freaked him out last night, both of them actually. Gordon had freaked himself out. He knew all of those feelings had been there, he'd just never said them out loud before. There was something liberating about telling his father and brother…it made him think that perhaps he didn't have to work through it on his own after all. "Like I've been shot in the chest," Gordon said.
His older brothers weren't sure how to take that. Both Virgil and Scott were trying to read his expression. Was he going to have another meltdown? Was he joking? Should they be prepared with tissues and reassuring words?
"Hi John," Gordon ignored the worriers. "You're looking awfully –" he cleared his throat for dramatic emphasis, "spaced out."
John's eyes sparkled. A half smile crept onto his face. "I would high-five you for that one but apparently you can't do that anymore."
Scott and Virgil both glared at the astronaut. Alan gasped and held his breath for some sort of explosive reaction. Much to his brother's surprise, a bubble of laughter escaped Gordon. Trust John to get straight to the point. "I can offer you a high-finger?"
John tilted his head, weighing up his options. "Yeah sure, it's better than nothing."
"You know…with all those bruises you're beginning to look like that galaxy of yours."
"Some of them resemble stars too. What's the scar? The milky way?"
"Sure. Hey I've got an idea – you should get your new scar tattooed into an outline of Thunderbird Five. That would look pretty spunky."
"First of all, did you just say spunky? Second, that would be really effective on the security front I'm sure."
"Who knows, you might just be a really big fan."
"Hmm, ok I'll consider it, only if you get Thunderbird Four tattooed by the bullet hole."
"Deal. We'll get them together."
"Yeah, at least you won't be able to feel anything."
Gordon snorted and broke into a fully blown 'Gordon grin'. This had Scott and Virgil reluctantly smiling along, even though they weren't quite sure what was going on. "For your information John – I can feel my torso, just not my legs. But I'm working on it."
John nodded. "That's good then. You only need to use your upper body when driving 'Four anyway, you'll be sweet."
Gordon laughed again, re-establishing his love for John's sarcasm. Alan wasn't entirely following the fact that his older brother was joking, and was now confused as to whether he actually believed that or not.
"Seriously though, IR will need you back In 'Four." John's Segway to a more serious topic was too good for Gordon to get frustrated with him. "I'm not sure the marine life can stand much more of this lot gallivanting about."
"Hey, we only hit one shark," Scott defended, sending a wink in Gordon's direction.
"That's one too many buddy, in all my time driving her I've never hit any creature. Nor have I created a mini whirlpool, or failed to patch up a pipe-"
"Alright we get it, you're amazing," Alan hit him on the leg. Gordon felt a flicker of something, but wasn't sure if it was just his imagination. Was that real? Did that hurt?
"I may be amazing Alan-" Gordon teased, "But I am flawed. Like Virgil, I have crashed her into a sea cave."
"What?" Virgil spread his arms out in confusion. "You couldn't have told me that before? Jeez, I've been feeling bad about it too."
"Just as long as you learnt your lesson," Gordon wiggled his eyebrows. Virgil broke into a smile. "You know, when I do get back, I should really train one of you better."
The fact that Gordon had said 'do' get back now had Scott joining in on the huge grinning session that was going on. "I would support that fully," the eldest said. "Just as long as you're not training me. No offence, I can't stand her."
"I barely fit…" Virgil muttered sheepishly.
Gordon laughed at that. "Alan it is then!"
"Hey," John protested. "Why do you all forget about me? I didn't have any accidents in 'Four."
"That's because you didn't drive 'Four."
"Exactly, starting with a spotless record."
Gordon snorted. "So what, we'd rotate between space and deep sea every month?"
"Yeah sure, I'm keen."
"You hate the ocean."
"And you hate space."
"Hmm, seems doable."
Virgil held out his hands to stop them from continuing, though the glimmer of amusement in his eyes said he didn't mind. "Seriously Gords – we were a freaking mess without you."
Gordon smiled. It appeared Scott had spread the word on his state of mind. No wonder all of them were squished in there. "From the rescue stories, I can tell."
"No," Virgil shook his head. "I'm not even talking about International Rescue; I'm talking about us in general."
"Preach," Alan closed his eyes and shuddered. "All I did was work for two weeks. It was horrible. I forgot what smiling was. They wouldn't feed me. I lost all concept of time and space-"
"I did alright." John said in all seriousness. At the glares he received from the others, he rolled his eyes and smiled. "Nah, I just had to listen to more arguing, and a whole lot of moping. You're my favourite remember? Looking down on earth was boring."
Gordon laughed at the disgust on John's face. The sound lit up the room, and Gordon was reminded how much he enjoyed his brothers company. It wasn't that he forgot that he did – it was just different than lately. "Alright, alright I get it. You all need me – trust me I had this talk last night-"
"We're all serious though Gordon," Scott reiterated. "You have no idea how important you are. I don't want you to ever forget that."
Gordon felt a warmth spread through his body as all his brothers looked at him with equally serious expressions. They all meant it, and they wanted him to know that. Well, it might take a while to process, but now he did know, and it was a strangely freeing experience. It made him want to get up and start dancing – no, it made him want to swim. "I'll…I'll swim again, won't I guys? Don't let me give up on that."
"We couldn't keep you out of water if we tried," Virgil said softly, squeezing Gordon's shoulder.
Alan nodded, "yeah, you'll be out of here in no time chasing after another world record. Maybe we should enjoy the time while you're down to relax for a bit."
"Nothing stops you Gords, I think we know that by now," Scott's words were the most reassuring. By the strong look in his eye Gordon truly knew that he would be there for him every day if he asked. "If you don't try, we'll make you try. You got us Dad back, that's one step in the process of uniting the team again. Now we just need you back to full capacity too."
Well, who was Gordon to deny that; he couldn't exactly fight all four brothers on this. As much as everything hurt, and how muted he felt, the aquanaut knew there was no other option. It would take time to heal his body and mind – but that's what he had, time and patient supporters. If he had to go through it all again then so be it.
His family needed him. His family loved him. It was that simple reminder that would get Gordon going again – as it had been every other time. That notion never entirely disappeared; he just needed to be retold every now and again.
Gordon curled his toes in excitement. "Have I ever told you how much I love you guys?"
John groaned. Alan made a retching noise. Scott smiled knowingly. Virgil didn't say anything. He didn't do anything. He was just staring at Gordon's feet, brown eyes frozen in shock. "Uh Gords…do that again…"
Gordon felt a chill run through him. "D-do what? Virgil?"
"That-" Virgil pointed as the blanket by Gordon's feet moved. "You're moving it…aren't you? What are you doing?"
Gordon's mouth slipped open. He hadn't even realised he'd been doing it. Pulling back slightly, he curled his toes again, shifting the blankets. "I…I can move them! Virg, my toes, I can move them!"
Alan lifted the blanket to uncover Gordon's bare feet as he wriggled his toes. Scott let out a resounding cheer that seemed to fill the whole room with light. Virgil turned his back to Gordon and held one hand up to the wall to steady himself. His legs trembled for a moment before he turned back, eyes watery. "Don't scare me like that Gordy – hell, I'm so glad."
Gordon grinned at him. He couldn't exactly make any large movements, and everything still felt horridly stiff and took a lot of effort to move. But this was a good starting place. No, it was a great starting place. The relief that flooded him was nothing like he ever felt before. "You did good Virg…thank you."
Virgil nodded and sunk into his chair with relief. John was too caught up in the moment to even correct Gordon's grammar. They were all relieved. It was funny how such a small movement could send five grown men into euphoric states of mind. Gordon felt out of breath by it all, but he felt a little bit of his sunshine return. The others were all smiling, he was smiling, and for the first time in a while Gordon knew his place in the family. It wasn't just as the swimmer, the aquanaut, or the joker. There was so much more to Gordon than that, and thankfully, his brothers knew that. His whole family knew that.
ooooo
John Tracy looked around the room and smiled. He was doing what he loved best: observing.
Things were shifting back into place. The balance was restoring itself, and there was nothing more pleasing than to watch that happen. John knew they had a long way to go – things were just getting started again. But the motion was in place, the healing process would move alongside it.
Grandma Tracy sat next to Virgil, her grandson content to just listen to her stories reminiscing about Jeff. His reappearance in her life had brought about a whole lot of confusing emotions – and to deal with that, she dove into memories, stories, and Virgil was the perfect person to listen to them.
Scott and Jeff were by one another's sides, deeply absorbed in a conversation. Whether it was about International Rescue, Jeff's crash, or Gordon- John wasn't really sure. But it didn't matter. Scott had his 'person' again.
Alan and Gordon were chattering away. Well – Alan was doing most of the talking, but Gordon interjected here and there. Every now and then the aquanaut would wriggle his feet, or his fingers, or even attempt to lift his elbow. Every time he did it a smile would burst onto his face. That smile would light up the room and – somehow - it was felt by everybody, even though they weren't directly aware of what was happening.
It was strange how that happened. How they were all linked even if they were unaware, or uninvolved. A single movement, a single shift out of place and they all came tumbling down. That's what John had learnt.
John was alone, but he didn't mind. He wasn't really alone. He never was. Everybody was always there just as they were there now.
It would take time for things to revert back to normal. No doubt John would have nightmares for a long time, and Jeff would still be hesitant about talking to them, and Gordon would be wary about his importance... It wouldn't be easy for any of them.
But they were together.
Gordon had brought the team back together again, and that 'team' was determined to heal him. So they would do that. Then John would go back up to space and look down, happily knowing balance had been restored. Maybe from there he could get his peace and quiet. Who was he kidding, with Gordon back in action there would be no hope of peace and quiet. But for once, John didn't mind.
If it meant his brother was getting better, that his family was getting better, than perhaps a little noise was good once in a while.
ooooo
That's a wrap on this one! Thank you so so much for everyone's support and lovely reviews! To ScribeofRED, Peppermill, and Optimisticat - your constant support and detail has meant a lot. This story has been an absolute wonder to write – the boys have been stars considering what I put them through.
Really though, thanks for reading, I hope you enjoyed. I know it's not exactly the most conclusive of endings – there's so much more that I could write for ever, but it felt the right time to bring it to a close. As an introductory fic to the TB community you've all been super supportive and I've loved it, thanks again!
-Spacespirit