So… hi. How was your Christmas?
Yeah, wanted to start the Author's Note with the SAME QUESTION I GET EVERYDAY. Really.
So! Um, ten reviews, again. YAYZ! I am in full debt for people's amazingness, so I think this one will be a doosey. PLEASE REVIEW LIKE THESE AWESOME PEOPLE HAVE!
-Akatsuki's a bang (chap.13): Haha thanks! :D These guys are so awesome that I need to make fun of them sometimes! (Especially some *cough cough* Deidara *cough cough*)
-Erin Ehmazing (Chap.13): Don't worry my amazing reviewer… that was you! I don't know what happened, but my stupid laptop was being a bia-tch. Um, There was that Sasori one where he's on the brink of death… it was sooo cute! I never really liked Sasori, but he looked epic! Nice job! The duct tape was in fact pink and used for more that sticking (bhaha), and Bow chika wow wow… that went nicely with Sasori. Thanks for being super amazing and saying all of those nice things! ^_^ I really appreciate it! It's readers like you that I keep on writing! (:
-DeadlyToaster (chap.13): First off, I cracked up at your name. So freaking epic. And with you staying up for it, greatly appreciated! Um, yes, with Saso and Dei, I felt bad writing it! Sumo-Dei's also a meanie, and she's just there to squish the living life out of people that annoy her. And this chapter will be great, don't worry! Thanks again!
-OsuwariKawaii (chap.13): First: Yes you are, and they're really great! Second: Haley's name is spelt like this. It's fine! Third: YAYZ! *smilie smilie smilie* Fourth: Yes. Yes. Yes. Just send in whoever in a private message and I'll get right on it and plan it with you! Fifth: Naruto Abridged is great! Haha and have you seen CanadianJutsu's as well? Grandma Badass will be there! Sixth: THANK YOU WITH A THOUSAND THANKS! AWESOME REVIEWER! *throws a virtual ten-foot cake at you* ENJOY!
-MidnightNinja777 (chap.13): Thank you sooo very much! And trust me, with Haley, Justice, Haley's famous camera, and YouTube, they form the team of AWESOMENESS. Fighting crime and saving the world from boring Akatsuki members!
-Kakashi Forever (chap.13): Yes, yes, Hidan is yours. :P But Itachi and Kisame are both mine, just to let you know, awesome reader!
-narutokurayami (Chap.13): Those are such sweet words of greatness thank you very much! :D and by the way, I love your fanfic with a passion :P please update sometime!
-Jestie Uchiha (chap. 13): I'm sorry, everytime I look at that profile pic, I crack up. Literally. Not lol. And thanks for your positivity! It goes a long way!
-Dragonfire2lm (chap.13): I laughed at how simple that one was. Thanks for commenting! :D
-Emo Chibi Kitty (chap.13): Woah, woah. Breathe please. *gives you an inhaler* well thanks!
Thank god, phew. Now on to the awesomeness that is Haley's Adventure! Review and fav and follow! For the sake of humanity!
14
So where we left off… oh yeah! The couple in Akatsuki got kidnapped by FemNaru and Tawny the Fat Dei-Dei. And we've got to get them back… just because I need this for my personal YouTube videos and just because they're our business to torture them. So anyone who even thinks about Sasori-no-bravery and Princess Dei getting theirs… is going to hear from me and Justice… and oh god, yeah, she's the one sprinting around D.C. with a pair of red undies on her head.
We took the taxi, and oh boy, not a good move. We were in a rush, and he kept yelling at us to shut up and give him the money needed. We said that it was an emergency, and he drove away. Ass.
We ran instead, like one of those ninjas that run super fast that I'm surprised that they don't trip… but I got tired, and I decided to walk. "Come on, Haley, we have to save Deidara!" Justice complained, pulling on my arm but didn't affect me at all.
"Wait… why just Deidara? Does someone have a crush on Barbie? I didn't know you've gone lesbo, Justice!"
"No! I'm not! He's just really hot! And he's a guy who doesn't like other guys, so I might have a chance!"
I raised my eyebrows. "Really? Dei and Justice? That'll be interesting. You know what? I'll make a bet with you. I bet 20 dollars and the right to brag if Deidara's a girl. And you have to kiss one member of the Akatsuki you don't like. Like… ZETSU…" I knew Zetsu gave Justice the creeps. He also scares the living shit out of me for being all cannibalistic and emo.
"WELL IF YOU'RE WRONG AND DEIDARA'S A BOY, THEN YOU'LL HAVE TO KISS KISAME! AND YOU'LL DO IT RIGHT IN FRONT OF KAKUZU!"
Oh fuck. Kisame. In front of Kakuzu. He'll be giving me the crazy eyes if he sees that. And with Kisame of all people and fish-kind. Crap.
"Okay, okay, you've got a deal… but no backing out, and we'll find out once we get to the fangirl hideout. There's going to be some evidence." I smiled like the devil, and Justice hesitated, but shook my hand.
"Wait… if this is a cosplay place, then don't we need costumes…?"
I sighed, patting her on the back. "Justice, sometimes a real good plan comes into your head…" I looked and Justice followed my glare into a costume shop. Damn, I'm good.
. . .
"Why do I have to be Guy?"
"Because that was the last costume after I grabbed mine," I retorted, pulling down my Akatsuki coat. No wonder Zetsu complains a lot. These things are uncomfortable.
"But why do YOU of all people have to be Deidara?"
I flipped my blonde ponytail dramatically. "Because I'm actually a blonde, and with these baby blues, I must say that I look a lot like your so called boyfriend. Just remember that he's dating Sasori."
"HE'S NOT GAY!"Justice shouted, and everyone on the block staring at us with the WTF look as a Guy and a Deidara come walking near the White House. If the president sees us… we're screwed. And I don't want to be in jail with all of those other tough looking ladies with crew cuts and swear to kick your ass when the guard isn't there. Oh hell no.
When we got into downtown and near the apartments, the mental lightbulb lit up. And this all was happening at night, so all of the lights were off… except for one, with a million people in it. And two were isolated among the rest… Deidara and Sasori, screaming their little gay lungs off in agony. If Dr. Shmex was here with his hotness, he would look at this torture and collapse on the floor. No Sharon-gan can compete with fangirls mobbing you on the wall.
We snuck in, with the door completely open. Wow, these cosplayers are possibly stupider than Hidan, if that was even possible. Then we got into the crowd… and oh boy. It was like the carnival for freaks. It was all girls, and the one that stood out the most would have to be the Asuma. A girl with, I think… REAL FACIAL HAIR. First Sumo-Dei than the bearded lady was there in full Asuma wear.
On the wall was a drape, not a clean one either. Poor boyfriends. I guess FemNaru was showing for display. We peaked inside when no one was looking.
Then Justice came up to me with wide brown eyes. "My poor Dei! Look!"
Oh my freaking gawd. I whipped up the video camera in an instant. There were the real Princess and Sasori-no-loved, pinned up against the wall with staples, and pink duct tape on their faces, and on that duct tape, Deidara's said: "My lips are art, un.", and Sasori's said: "Chucky". They stood with wide eyes, and exchanged glances or horror. And all of the fangirls were here to see them.
The duo looked at us with tears in their eyes, literally, and then Justice ripped the tape off of Deidara. There's a surprise.
"FUCCCCCKKKK, HM! Stupid girl, why did you do that?" Then Deidara took one look at me and tried to cuddle near Sasori, who was in full disgust. "You! You tackled me and sat your big fat ass on my delicate structure, hm! And it's like looking into the fat mirror!"
Did he just call me-
"OY! YOU DUMBASS TRANSVESTITE! IF YOU'RE CALLING ME SUMO-DEI, I'LL KILL YOU INSTEAD OF LETTING YOU FREE, YOU BLONDE PIECE OF SHIT! That's the last thing you wanna call a girl!"
"Woah, woah, Haley, don't be mean!" Justice said, grabbing me before I could kick him where it could hurt.
Then Deidara looked to Sasori-no-clue. "OH GOD, HALEY? AND JUSTICE- why did you dress as a gay, bowled hair cut ballerina, hm?"
She looked down her legs to see the leg warmers. "Oh god, I have no idea… but we have to get you out of here, and also… I really wanted to say that, Deidara, I really like-"
Guess who was there to interrupt on Justice's little confession. Sumo-Dei (Tawny) and FemNaru, hands on hips. Bitch. The bodyguard Princess look-alike grabbed us by our collars. "What are you trying to do?" she rumbled like a giant. Justice gulped. "I don't like her."
Well no shit, Sherlock. "What are you two doing here? You can't look at the surprise until later!" FemNaru snickered, trying to get her way. "Tawny, take 'em outside. They're not invited."
"Well, I thought Naruto was supposed to be the good guy! You're just the big fucking meanie!" Justice retorted, wiggling out of there like my worm.
"And what the heck are you supposed to be? A gay bowl-cut haired ballerina?"
Deidara laughed. "Told you!" Then his mouth got taped on again by FemNaru, looking happy for herself. "Oh, I wouldn't worry about you, cutie. You and the love of my life, over there," she glanced at Sasori, who panicked. "Kick them out, Tawny." As we moved to the door, closing the curtain, the last glimpse I saw of all of them were the stain on Sasori-no-balls' pants.
"NOOOO! Not Dei-Dei!"
"Shut up, Guy. Gosh, I don't even like him, "Tawny responded. I spaced out for two seconds, getting that weird feeling that her and Kakuzu came from the same deep-throated family. I tried to loom for an Adam's Apple, but she literally threw us down the three floors of stairs before we landed on the bottom. Okay, we need a plan B before Barbie and Ken meet their dying fangirls.
"Oh Haley, what're we gunna do? They've got Deidara and they've locked the stupid doors, now."
I looked everywhere. The apartment was all closed, and the next door neighbors had a laundry cable next to the fangirl cosplay base. I grinned.
"You ready to do this?" I grinned to Justice, who looked puzzled as usual. Then she knew the idea and grinned as well. "They're gunna be sniffing my ass when we get Deidara back."
"Oh, I get it… Dynamic Action Entry." I quoth upon the famous words of Guy-Sensei.
"Yep… Dynamic Action Entry."
. . .
We got everything set up as planned. Justice was on the rope, ready anytime to go. To tell you all, we had the guts to climb the apartment next door, dodging an old man with a big-ass cane trying to beat it at us from the window. Nice try Grandpa. No one beats out Grandma Badass.
"You ready, Justice? You wanna get back the love of your life?" My camera was ready to record again.
"You betcha' socks off, bia-tch!" Operation 'Get-The-Two-Gay-Ass-Men-Back' will be successful. "3…2…1…zero! Let go, Haley!"
I let go of her belt, and she zoomed to the window about one thousand miles per hour. She really did look like Guy. Then I went, and I was screaming for my life. Then we landed, crashing the window in front of all of the fangirls, the FemNaru bitch, Sumo-Dei, Facial Haired Lady Asuma, Deidara, and Sasori. Everyone stood still as we recovered. Then Justice got up from her glass-stained fanny and gave everyone an official thumbs-up.
"DYNAMIC ENTRY, BIATCH!"
Everything happened so fast. Deidara formed hearts in his eyes, Sasori looked at us in disgust, and all of the fangirls got out their official kunai knives and plastic Zabuza swords. Oh shit.
"GET GUY! HE TRIED TO KILL KISAME! HE'S MY FAV!" one person said, I think it was the one in the Zabuza costume. Oh, KisameXZabuza. Poor Haku's all alone.
"CATCH 'EM ALL!" yelled out FemNaru, whip in hand. Haha… Pokémon Theme Song.
So, readers, we were in big do-do. Crap-ola. Surrounded by a bunch of pissed-off cosplay fangirls. I kept thinking about how much my heart was pumping, my brain pulsing out of my skull… and how much I want to see how many views this gets on YouTube… well… if we survive it all.