Beyond These Walls

by sincethelastday

When Light's cousin becomes entangled in the Kira case, she desperately tries to convince L of Light's innocence. But she soon discovers that people aren't always who they claim to be. Lies run deep and the walls that people build run high.

14. Chapter 14

Disclaimer: I do not own Death Note.

A/N: So, this chapter was supposed to contain a lot more material, but I didn't want to make it really lengthy (I think there's such a thing as having too short a chapter and also too long a chapter). Anyway, although I had intended on including more in this chapter, hopefully what is included is satisfactory to you lovely readers! :)

Chapter 14

"May the bridges I burn light the way." - Anonymous

...

I felt like I was in a suspense movie. The startled looks that Matsuda and Ryuzaki were aiming my way, the darkness of the room only lit by the bluish, hazy light of the TV screen, and the horrifying images on the television. Yep, I was in my own horror film.

There were three individuals portrayed on the television, none of them together but being separately filmed by different cameras. One of the individuals was a young woman who was strapped and blindfolded to the maximum degree; it truly looked like something out of a horror flick. I didn't recognize her (I doubt anyone could with how tightly strapped and contained she was), but the other two figures on the screen were definitely recognizable.

They were Light and Uncle Soichiro. They were both in separate holding cells. Uncle was wearing his normal work clothes and was not handcuffed, but Light was dressed in unfamiliar dark clothing and had his hands cuffed behind his back. They were both awake, staring off into the distance. Uncle stared across the cell with such a deep sadness that I felt my stomach flip-flop with worry. Light, on the other hand, gazed across the cell with a hardened stare that bordered on being emotionless.

I didn't know what to think. I probably would have stood there for an endless stretch of time trying to comprehend what was going on if it hadn't been for Aizawa rushing into the room after I had shoved him off to the side.

I snapped out of my reverie of horrified astonishment and moaned quietly at first before progressively growing louder, "What is this? W-what is going on here? What is going on here?! What is all of this?!"

"Aizawa, take Miss Yagami away immediately," Ryuzaki commanded loudly over my wailing voice, his eyes sharp and hard with annoyance.

Aizawa sighed and silently obeyed with a somewhat hesitant expression on his face. He approached me and reached for my arm, but I shrugged him away and yelled fiercely at Ryuzaki, "Don't you dare tell me to leave! Don't you dare! What are you doing to my uncle and cousin?! What the hell are you doing to them?!"

Aizawa grabbed onto my arms and steered me towards the hallway. I struggled against him, but he held firm and proceeded to drag me back to my room. Matsuda stood helplessly by his chair, anxiously watching as Aizawa tried to get me to be cooperative.

"Please, Miss Yagami, it's for the best that you leave the room," Aizawa huffed as he struggled with not getting hit in the face with my flailing arms.

However much I struggled though, I wasn't strong enough and Aizawa dragged me down the hallway towards my bedroom. I screamed the whole time.

"Tell me what you're doing, Ryuzaki! I deserve to know! You tell me what you're doing to my uncle and cousin! Tell me!

Aizawa guided me into my room and quickly shut the door. I banged on the door, not letting down.

"You can't just throw me into my room and not tell me anything! You tell me right now what you're doing, Ryuzaki! You tell me right now, L! You hear me! I won't stop until you tell me!"

I must have banged on the door and screamed the same things over and over again for five straight minutes until I realized the door wasn't locked. I stopped screaming all of a sudden and stared at the doorknob, as if I just realized that that part of the door existed. I shakily breathed out and readied myself.

That's it. Aunt Sachiko and Sayu need to be told. They need to be told that some psychopath has locked up uncle and Light. And I'm the only one who can and will tell them.

I quietly turned the doorknob and crept out of my bedroom. I carefully tiptoed down the hallway, hugging the wall as I went along towards the door that led out of the suite. I knew I would need to make a run for the door, since it was directly across from where Ryuzaki, Aizawa, and Matsuda were.

I breathed in as quietly as I could and then dashed away from the wall and lunged towards the door. I heard Matsuda shout my name in surprise as I tore through the door, and heard loud shuffling feet racing towards me as I slammed the door shut. I spontaneously dragged a little side table that was sitting in the hotel hallway and wedged it underneath the doorknob of the door to the suite. And then I sprinted off down the hallway as fast as my feet could take me.

It didn't take very long before Aizawa and Matsuda were able to shove their way through the door and topple the side table to the ground. I could hear them both shouting my name and could hear their footsteps following me down the hall. I didn't look back though and my determination and fury spurned me onwards, giving me speed to my step that I never had experienced before.

I dodged housekeeping staff who wheeled their trolleys of cleaning supplies down the hall and weaved in between hotel guests and bell boys. I didn't risk being slowed down by the elevator and instead sprinted down the staircase, all twelve floors of steps. As soon as I saw the front doors to the hotel, I bolted with a surge of energy and exited into downtown.

The streets were packed with people who were eager to enjoy downtown Tokyo at night. The restaurants and shops and night clubs were all overcrowded so that the people spilled out into the streets, and countless more people aimlessly roamed down the sidewalks. I took full advantage of the crowds and attempted to get lost within the throngs of people. I didn't have any money on me, so that left out the subway and taxi cabs. If I had to run all the way home to my aunt and cousin to inform them about what was happening to uncle and Light, then so be it.

I had only made it past one block when I heard the screech of a police siren. I risked a look backwards and saw a police car speeding down the street towards me.

It's probably some other police officer going after a speeder or something.

I didn't want to risk it though and turned down a smaller street with less people. I was able to gain more speed that way. As I exited the smaller street and back onto a main road, I was alarmed to see another police car racing towards me, it's siren screeching and lights blazing. The car caught me off by surprise and I crashed into a passerby. I ignored their swearing at me and sprinted down the road, trying to get away from the police car.

My sides were killing me. They ached with cramps that sent shooting pains up along my whole upper body each time I took a step. My breathing was so loud that it almost blocked out the screeching of the siren.

I hadn't even reached the next block when I heard another siren. Sure enough, the two police cars were racing down the road together now straight towards me. I was positive that it was Matsuda and Aizawa. They had somehow picked me out from the crowd and were able to follow me down the busy streets.

"Dammit," I huffed out as I continued to dash down the sidewalk.

I was beginning to get tired and had to slow down to a brisk jog. The police cars drew nearer, their sirens effectively eliminating the traffic around them. They both sped through two red lights as I got caught up in a crowd of people waiting at a crosswalk. I tried to push through the mass of people, but the horde of bodies was too thick and I realized, with crushing disappointment, that I was cornered.

The two police cars pulled up to the curb where I was standing and Aizawa and Matsuda bolted out of the cars. Matsuda out ran Aizawa, and before I knew it he was before me and was firmly, but gently, holding onto my shoulders.

"I need to tell my aunt and cousin what he's doing to them! I need to let them know – they deserve to know! Please, Matsuda!" I moaned as I struggled to break away from his grasp. But I was exhausted after running so hard and so far and could barely stand up straight.

Matsuda continued to hold onto my shoulders and sighed as he looked down at me apologetically. "I'm sorry, Etsuko. But we can't let you tell them. You have to come back with us right now."

I knew that I had no choice but to go with Matsuda and Aizawa, but I continued to resist. I grasped the front of Matsuda's jacket and tugged on it weakly as I spouted out, my voice becoming choked with distress, "Matsuda, it's not fair! What he's doing, it's wrong! It's so wrong! I don't want to go back there, please...please..."

I didn't realize that I was close to tears until I felt the prick of a teardrop at the corner of my eye. Matsuda must have seen that tear and suddenly pulled me against him. My face collided with the front of his shirt and jacket. His arms wrapped around me tightly and held me there. There must have been tons of onlookers staring at us, but I didn't care and just focused on how good it felt to be embraced by him. My ear was pressed right over his chest and I focused on the steady beating of his heart as I tried desperately to calm down. The last thing I wanted was to have a panic attack right out in the open on the sidewalk.

If it hadn't been for Aizawa clearing his throat loudly in order to get our attention, Matsuda and I may have stood that way for several more seconds. Matsuda ignored Aizawa's probing look and led me to the police car that he had been driving. We sped off back to the hotel in silence.

When we got back to the hotel, I made an effort to avoid looking at Ryuzaki. I knew I wouldn't be able to stand the sight of him and would snap. When I approached my bedroom, I noticed that a heavy lock had been quickly installed on the door. I snorted in disgust and entered my room. Matsuda followed right behind and sat down with me on my bed.

Matsuda sighed heavily and ran his hand through his hair as he said, "I hope you'll understand once I tell you what's happening, Etsuko."

I showed that I had heard him by a quick nod and then sat tensely as Matsuda began to speak.

"It was Light's and your uncle's decisions to be confined."

I blinked and shook my head. "No. No, my uncle and Light would never ask for that. Why would they possibly ask for that?"

Matsuda shuffled uncomfortably and slowly explained, "A few days ago, Light came to us and said that there was a possibility that he was Kira."

I felt my stomach twist and felt a shiver run all the way up my spine. "W-what? Why would he...why would he say-"

"He went over all of the reasons why Ryuzaki suspects him, how certain incidents and circumstances make it appear that he is Kira."

I suddenly realized how stupid I had been the past few months to not even really consider the reasons Ryuzaki suspected Light of being Kira. I guess the whole notion of my cousin being a mass murderer was too ridiculous for me to seriously wonder why Ryuzaki suspected him in the first place. However, at that moment, I wanted to know.

"What type of incidents and circumstances?" I asked, hoping that Matsuda would be able to tell me.

Matsuda looked off to the side and muttered, "I'm really not sure what I'm allowed to tell you, Etsuko. I guess, to tell you without giving away too many case details...Light's been connected to people who have been murdered by or associated with Kira, and he's been at key locations where it's suspected Kira was as well. I wish I could tell you more, but..."

As much as I wondered about the details around these incidents and circumstances, I knew I wouldn't get any of that information out of Matsuda or anyone else of the task force. However unfair it seemed to not be allowed to know the exact reasons why Light was suspected, at that moment I was more intent on knowing more about Light's recent announcement of possibly being Kira.

Matsuda continued, "Light said that he fears that he has been subconsciously doing all that Kira has done. He even said that if he was Ryuzaki, he would come to the same conclusion: That he is Kira."

I clenched my stomach as it began to churn restlessly and thought of how distant Light had been recently, how annoyed and irritated he had been with me when I didn't do what he wanted, how angry and infuriated he was with me a few days ago when I had stopped him in the hallway. How he had frightened me...

Could it really be that Light is...? He actually believes that he may be Kira and –

I clamped my hand over my mouth, afraid that I was going to vomit all over the carpet. Matsuda turned to me and placed a hand on my shoulder.

"Etsuko, are you okay?"

I swallowed convulsively a couple of times until the feeling that I was going to be sick resided. I nodded quickly as I slowly took my hand away from my mouth and left it lying limply in my lap.

"Yeah, I'm okay. I'm okay, Matsuda. W-what else did Light say?"

Matsuda surveyed me in silence for a couple of seconds, making sure that I really was okay. He then continued steadily, his eyes watching me more closely than before.

"He went on to say that he had been having thoughts that certain criminals deserve to die. He rationalized that if he could think like Kira, then there may be a possibility that he is Kira. But..."

Matsuda paused for a second and then carried on more firmly and confidently. "I interrupted him and told him that I felt the same way a lot of the time."

Matsuda turned more towards me and spoke imploringly to me, as if he was trying to convince me of where he was coming from. "There are criminals that I think are better off dead, Etsuko, but, as I also told Light and the rest of the task force, I'm not going to go out and kill people just because I have those thoughts. I mean, I'm sure a lot of people have had the same thoughts before, right?"

I felt like telling Matsuda that there was no need for him to try to convince me. Thinking about the recent death of Kawaguchi, I knew exactly how Matsuda felt. And how Light must feel as well.

"In the end, Ryuzaki agreed to confine Light until he believed that your cousin was not Kira. Light even asked Ryuzaki to promise him that he wouldn't be released until Ryuzaki thought him innocent, no matter what he said or did. And so...he was put into confinement under his own free will and has been in confinement for the past few days."

"And my uncle? What about him? Does Ryuzaki now suspect my uncle of being Kira as well?" I sarcastically asked, although a part of me worried that Ryuzaki was crazy enough to actually suspect Uncle Soichiro.

Matsuda shook his head firmly. "No, no. Your uncle decided under his own free will to be confined. He thought it wasn't appropriate for him to be on the investigation while Light is under confinement and supervision. He asked Ryuzaki to confine him because...well, he..."

I could tell that Matsuda was struggling with how to say whatever he wanted to say next. He looked uncomfortable and awkwardly fumbled with his tie. I placed my hand tentatively on his knee, in which he quickly looked down at.

"Matsuda, tell me. I need to know," I softly probed.

Matsuda sighed and nodded. "Your uncle wanted to be confined because he didn't know how much more he could take. What with Light being suspected and all. I think...I think he was afraid he was going to snap."

My heart broke for my uncle as I thought of how desperate he must have been to ask for confinement. I considered how the case had wrecked havoc on his health, emotions, and life in general, and my desire for Kira to be caught increased ten-fold.

That desire may mean Light being caught doesn't it...?

I clenched my eyes shut and dismissed the thought as I felt another wave of nausea wash over me. I still needed more answers before I could even think about considering such thoughts.

Matsuda provided more details without me asking.

"Your uncle is still being informed of case details and progress that's made in the investigation. And he's also able to contact people on the outside. So, he's not completely cut off from everyone, Etsuko," Matsuda concluded, trying to sound hopeful for probably both of us.

I wondered why uncle hadn't answered my phone calls when I had tried to reach him. I realized that he probably couldn't bring himself to talk to me, even if it meant lying about his current situation.

He knows I would worry regardless of what he would tell me. Because I'm weak...

I was interrupted from my thoughts of self-deprecation by Matsuda's voice. "If it makes you feel any better, Etsuko, your uncle said that he was grateful towards Ryuzaki for allowing himself to be confined."

It strangely made me feel a little bit better that both Light and uncle had freely accepted confinement, but my anger towards Ryuzaki for not informing me of their situations had not disappeared. And all of the worries and thoughts that were eager to rise to the surface of my mind were keeping me from feeling genuinely okay.

But I knew that Matsuda was trying hard to get me to feel better and I appreciated his concern and efforts. I offered him a small smile in which he sadly returned.

"Who was...who was that other person? That young woman?" I asked, shuddering as I recalled the sight of her on the TV screen.

I could see Matsuda weighing his words in his head before he spoke them, reviewing what he was and wasn't allowed to tell me. He nodded to himself and then responded, if not a little bit sadly, "That's the Second Kira suspect. We have to enforce pretty strict procedures with her because, well, for safety precautions, I guess. She's been in confinement for quite a few days. Truthfully, I don't know how she's coping with being in such a situation."

I was surprised that I appreciated how open Matsuda was with me. He didn't try to glaze over the details, but just told me straightly the way things were. Perhaps he thought me a stronger person than I considered myself in being able to hear unpleasant details.

And he so openly and vulnerably admitted how he was feeling about the situation. I admired such a trait and wondered if I could ever be that vulnerable with him. Sure, I had had mini outbursts of pent up emotions around him, but had I ever truly been vulnerable with him?

My apology to him months ago flashed through my mind as an example, and I wished secretly that I would get another chance to show Matsuda that I could be vulnerable, too. It was something that months ago I would never have imagined wishing for.

It was ironic that the next thing I asked him put us both in a vulnerable space.

"Matsuda, do...do you believe Light is guilty?"

Matsuda opened his mouth and then quickly closed it. He began to fiddle with the end of his tie, a nervous habit that he appeared to do when he was uneasy. He refrained from looking at me and that queasy feeling came over me again.

"Judging by your silence, I would presume that you-"

"Maybe it's just a coincidence, but no new criminals have been killed since Light has been confined. But, I mean, it's only been a few days and things could change but..."

Matsuda meandered off into silence as I took in his words. They scared me and added fuel to my already unsettled stomach.

"Truthfully, Etsuko, I...I don't know what to think at this point."

You and me both, Matsuda. I really don't know what to think anymore. And that uncertainty alone bothers me beyond words.

I suddenly wanted to be alone, afraid that Matsuda would ask me what I thought. But mostly, I didn't want him to see me become upset anymore than he already had. It was embarrassing and I felt shameful for having acted the way I already had. I wanted to be vulnerable and open around Matsuda, but the desire was not strong enough for me to actually go ahead and do it. The spirit is willing, but the flesh is weak kind of thing, I guess.

I rubbed my eyes and flashed Matsuda an encouraging smile. "Thanks, Matsuda, for explaining all of these things to me. I think I'll be okay now."

I'm probably going to cry myself to sleep...

Matsuda looked surprised at my sudden transformation from being miserably silent to cheerfully thanking him. Something akin to understanding briefly crossed over his eyes and he smiled sympathetically at me. And I wondered if he actually could see through my disguise and knew that I was still upset and worried stiff. But instead of prying, he nodded with acceptance and stood up from the bed.

There was something I had to still ask him though. "Matsuda, what do my aunt and Sayu know?"

"Your uncle told them something to explain his and Light's absence. I don't know what he told them though."

I nodded, satisfied enough that Aunt Sachiko and Sayu had some explanation, however false it was.

"Do you want your uncle to know that you...you know, uh, know?"

I pictured uncle's utterly dejected face and sighed, shaking my head as I spoke, "No. Don't tell him. I think if he knew that I knew that he was in confinement, he would worry even more. It's best if he thought that I was just blissfully ignorant of it all. But..."

Matsuda paused at the door and waited for me to continue.

"Would it be alright if I received updates of how they're doing? Or if any criminals get killed?"

Matsuda confidently nodded. "I think that should be okay. I'll have to check with Ryuzaki, but I don't think that will be a problem."

Matsuda left and I was alone in my room. So utterly alone.

I felt physically and emotionally exhausted. The only thing I could think of was to go to bed. I wanted to escape all of the worries and thoughts that were circling around in my brain. I would go to sleep and escape them all.

I put the bathroom trashcan next to my bed, since my stomach still felt like it was going to be upset. I switched off the main lights, but kept the bedside lamp on. Complete darkness would be too oppressive and threatening. It would bring out all of the thoughts that I wanted to extinguish.

As I desperately waited for sleep to embrace me, I struggled with the fear that strangled me. It may have been incomprehensible to actually think of Light as Kira, but the fear that came with that thought was all too real as it tightened around me. That primal, ravenous fear was too strong an enemy, too mighty a fortress, too impenetrable a wall to simply dispel.

...

I developed a rather strange strategy when it came to pondering about the possibility of Light being Kira. I wasn't stupid; I knew that it was impossible to completely refrain from thinking about the possibility that my dear cousin was a mass murderer. So, I organized time and locations when I allowed myself to think about such a frightening thought.

I refused to think about it when I was in the middle of class or doing homework, because that would distract me from my work. But the walk to and from class was designated time when I could think about it. The five minute walk to the next lecture hall gave me plenty of time to worry and fuss and internally freak out, but as soon as I stepped into the classroom, I focused fiercely on something else.

I had similar routines back at the hotel. I would give myself time to think about it when I was brushing my teeth or picking out my clothes for the next day of school, but such thoughts were off limits when I was eating breakfast or dinner.

It mostly worked well and I was able to train my mind to only think about the thought at designated times and places. If I didn't have such a strict "game plan," I would've gone bat-shit crazy.

Those moments when I did entertain the possibility of Light being Kira were enough to rattle my bones for the full five or ten or whatever amount of minutes I would think about it. There was still, of course, a side to me that couldn't believe it and tried to rationalize Light's behaviour. But I couldn't help but also wonder what I would do if Light was indeed society's head judge.

Would I completely shut down in despair? Would I get angry or just cry non-stop? Would I be terrified of him? Would I want to speak to him or never see his face again? Maybe I would try to understand where he was coming from, or maybe I wouldn't want to understand? Would I be grateful to him for having killed Kawaguchi, or would my horror at him being Kira overshadow any gratitude I would feel towards him? Could I ever, really, truly believe that Light is Kira, even if all the evidence piled against him? I really don't know.

And then there were certain thoughts that made me feel physically sick. The thought that Light could be the one who killed Ukita was too horrible to think about. In addition, the thought of what his family would do and feel if they found out that he was Kira was too much to ponder as well. Remembering uncle's face as he sat in that cell was hard enough to reflect on.

Over the next few days, Matsuda would tell me that uncle and Light were both doing okay, but that was about all the information he had for me. Criminals were still being spared, which didn't help my worrying one bit. Apart from that, things were...well, normal, I guess you could say. I went about my daily routine as if things hadn't changed. But inside I was a bubbling mess of worry and dread. I felt like I was standing on the edge of a menacing cliff, my whole body suffering from vertigo as I gazed down at the dark abyss. What lingered at the bottom was unknown and terrifying.

...

I woke up with the breeze blowing on my face. It took me a second to realize that I shouldn't be feeling the wind on my cheek. I groggily opened my eyes and peered across the bedroom. The balcony door was open and the night wind was gently rustling the drapes. I frowned, confused as to why the door was open. I swore I had closed it before I had gone to bed.

I groaned as I pulled the blankets back and slowly sat up in bed. I shivered from the night breeze and padded over to the balcony door. It was then that I saw a figure standing out on the balcony, their silhouette visible behind the drapes. My mind told me to retreat, but my feet led me to the door and I cautiously peered out onto the balcony.

I gasped in surprise as I saw Light standing peacefully on the balcony. He turned to me and smiled pleasantly. He was wearing his normal, everyday clothes and his hands were resting lightly on the balcony railing. He appeared to be enjoying the darkness and coolness of the night.

"L-Light? What are you doing here? You're supposed to be in confinement," I squeaked out in disbelief.

"Ryuzaki released me. Criminals started dying again. I'm innocent, Etsuko. I'm not Kira. I never was Kira," Light softly explained, his voice gentle and kind. His pleasant smile never left his face.

"R-really?" I felt tears well up behind my eyes as I took in what he was saying. My fears and worries were slowly drifting away, as if they were being blown away with the wind.

"Yes. In fact, they already have a new suspect. We'll convict him in no time and all of this will be over."

I shakily breathed out and smiled with no restraint as the rest of my worry and fear lifted from my mind. I walked over to Light and stood beside him. He continued to smile at me fondly.

"I'm sorry if I woke you. I was just so happy that Ryuzaki released me and ruled me innocent that I had to come tell you. I didn't realize how late it was though. I decided I would wait till morning to tell you. It's such a beautiful night though that I had to come out here to enjoy it."

Light looked out across the dazzling city, all of the lights sparkling like jewels and rubies. The wind caressed our skin and played with our hair as we gazed towards the dark horizon. The sky was a canvas of dark purple and navy, the stars were pinpricks of light that shone down on us below. The moon was a glorious ivory colour that hovered gracefully in the sky. It was beautiful and peaceful. It was almost awe-inspiring.

"Etsuko?"

Without turning to face Light, I whispered as I continued to gaze at the city, "Yes, Light?"

I felt his hand come down on my wrist and charm bracelet. I realized I was still wearing it and was a little puzzled as to why I hadn't removed it when I had gone to bed like I did every night. I didn't linger on it though and waited for Light to speak.

"I'm so happy that you trusted me through all of this." His voice was soft and pleased.

"Of course, Light."

I heard a faint rattling sound, but Light's voice continued on a little bit louder. "And I'm so glad that you never gave up on me this whole time."

I smiled to myself and nodded. "I would never give up on you."

The rattling sound grew a little bit louder and sounded closer. Some of the lights in the downtown office buildings went out.

"And I know that I can count on you whenever I need your support," Light continued, his voice increasingly growing more confident. I couldn't help but notice that his voice had also taken on a bit of a gravely undertone.

I nodded again and responded as I watched some dark clouds pass over the moon, "For sure, Light, for sure."

The rattling sound grew louder and it turned more into a jangling, clattering sound that sounded very close. I frowned, but refrained from turning away from the sky, which I had noticed had become darker. It seemed the city smog had extinguished the stars. Several more city lights went out. The wind had picked up and, instead of being pleasantly cool, it was bitterly cold.

Light's hand wrapped around my wrist even more and tightly squeezed it. His voice was low and hoarse. But still I didn't look at him, but only listened as he leaned over to me and whispered in my ear, "Good. Very good."

Suddenly, all of the city lights went out and the sky became enshrouded with thick, black smoke. The wind howled and cried as it whipped across our faces. The moon and stars were gone. And Light's grasp grew ever stronger and tighter.

I finally tore my eyes away from the city landscape and turned to Light. His calm, peaceful smile was gone and instead a cruel, sinister smirk was plastered on his face. The grin seemed to take up most of his face; it looked outlandishly large and wide. His nostrils were flared, yet his breathing was frighteningly shallow and calm. And his eyes were wild with a crazed frenzy of control and power and supreme arrogance.

And then I saw the chain.

There was a chain connected to my charm bracelet. It was heavy and cold and made from strong, solid metal. There was a huge mound of it coiled up on the ground. My eyes roamed upwards and I realized that Light was grasping the other end of it firmly in his other hand. He gripped it with no intention of ever letting it go.

"You'll see, Etsuko. Everything will be different once I'm through with the world." Light continued to smile crazily at me, his eyes blazing with a smoldering hatred.

It was then that I felt something wet and sticky on my hands. I yanked my hands away from the balcony railing and noticed they were drenched in some type of liquid. The sky lit up with a sudden bolt of lightning and I realized with horror that it was blood. The air suddenly reeked of the smell of it, that iron and salty smell of blood. The air was hot and suffocating with the stench.

The scream that escaped my throat was yanked away by the wind and was carried far away where no one could hear it. I stumbled to the balcony door and tried to pry it open, but it wouldn't give. And all along the sky grew darker, the wind wailed louder, the stench of blood grew thicker, and Light grew stronger.

He yanked on the chain and I tripped and stumbled towards him. With one lunging movement of his arm, he threw the heaping amount of chain over the balcony. And as he flashed his pitiless smile at me, he whispered mockingly, "Nobody disobeys Kira, cousin."

And with that he pushed me over the balcony and I fell, the length of chain already falling before me. And I fell and fell, deeper into the darkness. My screams were silent as I fell into nothingness.

...

I woke up from my nightmare drenched in sweat, huffing and puffing as I tried to catch my breath. I held my head in my hands and tried to get back to reality.

It was just a dream. Just a nightmare. None of it was real.

I quickly turned to the side and let out a shaky breath of relief when I saw the balcony door was closed. Just like it always was when I went to bed.

I flopped back down into bed and covered my face with my hands. I was at that weird state of mind after a nightmare where I had the urge to nervously laugh, but also to cry a little. I was badly shaken.

"H-how could I have dreamt such a thing? How could I have even dreamt Light like that?" I whispered into the darkness of my room.

It appeared my fears and worries regarding Light were stronger than I thought. They had followed me into my dreams.

Suddenly, I heard a knock at my door. It was very soft, so soft I thought I had imagined it. But then it knocked again and I instantly sat up in bed, alarmed and frightened. I sat staring across the room at the door, wondering if I was still dreaming.

I couldn't tell for sure, since it was so dark in my room, but I thought I saw the door open and someone enter. Yes, there was indeed a shadowy figure lurking by the door and it slowly approached the foot of my bed.

Before the figure got any closer, I loudly commanded with just a tiny hint of a frightened waver to my voice, "Who is that?!"

The figure stopped in its tracks and, after a beat of silence, softly spoke. "Ryuzaki."

All of a sudden, my fear and alarm vanished and I was confused. But I was mostly angry.

"W-what the hell are you doing in my room? At..." I quickly glanced at my alarm clock to see the time. I whipped my head back at Ryuzaki and continued, "...at 2:30 in the morning!?"

Ryuzaki shifted slightly on the spot. "I was under the impression that when someone knocks, the appropriate response is to answer. You didn't answer the door so I had no other choice but to enter."

"The appropriate and normal response at 2:30 in the morning is to be sound asleep, not sitting around waiting for someone to come knocking! The appropriate and normal course of action is to wait until a more reasonable hour to ask for someone!" I growled, as I threw back the blankets and stood facing Ryuzaki. I couldn't believe he was in my room in the middle of the night and didn't see a problem with that! His rudeness and weirdness never seemed to amaze me.

"But you weren't sound asleep when I came into your room, Miss Yagami. Having difficulty sleeping? Having some worrisome thoughts perhaps?" Ryuzaki drawled out in his unfeeling tone of voice.

I swear I could feel his interrogative eyes staring at me through the darkness. Like I was going to tell him what I was just dreaming about.

Yeah, I just woke up from one of the worst nightmares I've ever had. I dreamt that Light really was Kira and that he had me in chains like a slave and then, when I tried to get away from him, he threw me over the balcony. Doesn't that sound like a bad one, Ryuzaki? Pretty terrifying, right? Care to dissect what my subconscious is trying to tell me, 'cause I'm sure you have plenty of theories about that.

"What do you want?" I grumbled, trying hard to stare back at him as well, although it was hard in the dark.

"Your opinion, Miss Yagami."

I shook my head slightly, thinking I had misheard him. "My opinion?"

"Yes. If you would be so kind as to follow me into the main sitting area." Ryuzaki was already turning back towards the door.

"Couldn't this...couldn't this wait until morning?"

"Technically, it was morning a couple of hours ago," drawled Ryuzaki as he exited my bedroom, confident that I would follow after him.

And, of course, knowing that arguing with him was useless, I followed after him grudgingly.

I trailed after him into the main sitting area. Set up near the far wall was the television. I was surprised to see that the screen was black and that the footage of the three "confinees" was not presently being displayed. I couldn't help but be suspicious.

"You're not watching my cousin through the cameras anymore?"

Ryuzaki hopped up on one of the chairs and sipped at a cup of coffee. "Watari is monitoring the live broadcast of those in confinement. He is to tell me immediately if something happens. At the present moment though, I am more interested in camera footage of your cousin that occurred this afternoon."

"Something happened this afternoon with my cousin and you didn't tell me? But Matsuda promised me that I would be updated if something happened!"

Ryuzaki slurped loudly. "You are being updated, Miss Yagami. This is the most opportune time for you to watch the footage."

2:30 in the morning is opportune time? Maybe for you who never sleeps! But for any normal person, I think not.

"Please sit, Miss Yagami." Ryuzaki motioned to the chair seated directly across from the television.

I didn't continue to argue and just huffed softly to myself. I plunked myself down on the chair and watched silently as Ryuzaki fiddled with the remote control.

"I want you to tell me what you think about this taped footage of Light," Ryuzaki murmured as he continued to rewind the tape in the VCR.

And that's when I realized that he was asking me to do something. He wanted me to do something for him. He was...using me.

"Wait a second," I abruptly said. Ryuzaki turned slightly towards me and stared at me as he waited for me to continue. I crossed my arms and tried to appear stern and resolute.

"Why should I help you? After all of the things you've done and said, why should I help you? It was part of the agreement that you wouldn't use me for anything."

"I'm just asking for your opinion, Miss Yagami. I wasn't aware that asking for one's opinion was using someone."

I shook my head, dismissing what he said even if it did make some sense. "Asking for my opinion or using me for something, it doesn't matter. I don't trust you. How could I possibly trust you?"

Ryuzaki was ready with an answer, as if he anticipated such a reaction from me. "Your uncle and cousin trust me. They trusted me enough to confine them for an indefinite amount of time. If they can trust me, why can't you, Miss Yagami?"

"Because you've tricked me before! You had me asking Light questions to get information out of him without me knowing! You made me believe that you didn't suspect Light of anything, when really you suspected him of Kira all along! And I bet if I didn't see the video footage a few days ago, you would've never told me about my uncle's and cousin's confinement."

Ryuzaki's eyes darkened and I knew he was still annoyed that I had burst in on the scene of the camera footage a few days ago. He was quick to unveil the hypocrisy I spoke.

"Running away to tell the rest of your family what was going on wasn't a very trusting move, Miss Yagami. And that's only one example of how you haven't been very trustful since you've been here."

I thought of the time I had run away from Matsuda in the hospital and had texted Light to meet up with him, clearly against Ryuzaki's orders. And I also thought of the numerous conversations between Light and I in our secret communication style that Ryuzaki didn't even know about. But it was all irrelevant according to me, since it was all to help Light.

"I don't want to do anything that could potentially hurt Light," I continued to argue on.

Ryuzaki's eyes were fixed on the television as he continued to rewind the tape. "What if I told you that your opinion may help Light out in his current situation?"

That was an easy question to answer. "I wouldn't believe you."

It was the type of answer that Ryuzaki was looking for and expecting from me. He turned to me and stared at me intently with his thumb in his mouth.

"So you believe that I don't want Light to be helped? That I would want your opinion to hinder Light, instead of assist him? I was under the impression that Light and I were working together, Miss Yagami. It appears you're under the impression that your cousin and I are against one another."

I swallowed the lump in my throat as I realized that Ryuzaki had trapped me with my answer that I had so easily and willingly provided.

Ryuzaki continued darkly, his eyes never leaving mine, "Tell me, Miss Yagami. If Light and I are on different sides, and I'm working towards capturing Kira, then where does that put your cousin?"

I turned away from Ryuzaki and stared at the television, trying to figure out how to answer him. It scared me though how he had caught me off guard. And how much his words bothered me.

Why do I think that Ryuzaki and Light are against each other? They work together, are decent to one another from what I've seen. Hell, they apparently consider each other friends. And they have the same goal: To catch Kira. And Light trusts Ryuzaki. Really, Ryuzaki has done more things to negatively affect my life than Light's probably. And didn't Matsuda say that Ryuzaki just wants to cover all of the angles, that it really isn't anything personal? So why is it so hard for me to consider them on the same side? Why do I continue to doubt that Ryuzaki really wants to help Light?

I couldn't find an answer to my internal questions and shot back at Ryuzaki, ignoring his last question, "I just...I just don't trust you. You could twist my words in order to make Light look guiltier."

Ryuzaki answered swiftly, "What would be the point in that? I want the truth more than anyone else. Whether Light is innocent or guilty, the evidence will prove it, no matter what words come out of your mouth, Miss Yagami. In the end, the solid, objective evidence is what will be the deciding factor as to your cousin's fate."

Ryuzaki paused to sip at his coffee and then proceeded to continue where he had left off from his last question that had rendered me speechless. "You still seem quite preoccupied with this whole notion that I am against Light and want him to look guilty. I struggle to understand why you are so firm in this sentiment."

Oh, but I knew what he was trying to get at with asking me such questions and saying such things. He always had some underhanded plan and I had a sneaking suspicion of what he wanted me to confess to.

He wanted me to admit that I was frightened. Not just frightened for Light, but also frightened of Light. He wanted me to come out and say that I was suspicious of the way Light had been behaving lately. He wanted me to openly admit that I was aware that something was going on with my cousin.

Strangely enough, Ryuzaki's desire for me to admit this didn't make me angry towards him. Because what he wanted me to admit was nothing more than the truth. Perhaps Ryuzaki was frustrated that I wasn't being honest with him, even if they were my own suspicions I was hiding from him.

As if he was reading my mind, he muttered lowly, "Strange how you hate it when others lie and hide things from you, Miss Yagami, but you have no problem with lying and hiding things from others."

And that's when I realized, almost like Ryuzaki's words were the switch that turned the imagery light bulb on, that giving my opinion and thoughts to Ryuzaki was not what I was really, truly afraid of, but that the very opinions and thoughts that I held within myself frightened me.

I'm scared of what will be revealed on this videotape. I'm scared what I'll think when I watch it. I'm scared that I'll come to some type of realization that I won't want to recognize. I'm scared that...I'm scared that Light is...that Light is...

Before I could think of a retort to spit back at Ryuzaki, the truth fumbled out of my mouth, "I'm...I'm afraid of the truth. I'm afraid of what it will bring."

Ryuzaki's eyes bulged and he suddenly stopped before he took a sip of his coffee; he appeared to be surprised that I had actually answered truthfully.

He took a quick slurp of his drink and then accusingly fired back, "So you're content with living with lies instead?"

I slouched back into the chair, uncomfortable with his question.

How much longer until I can't be blissfully ignorant anymore? How much longer until I realize that Ryuzaki actually speaks some sense? How much longer can I go on pretending that there isn't something serious going on with Light?

My father had advised about giving people a second chance. Perhaps Ryuzaki was not the only one who deserved that second opportunity. Perhaps I deserved such a chance to toss some of my fear and worry behind and just take the leap towards trusting him and the truth. I'd burn that bridge of ignorance and use the fire of truth to light my way towards a clearer understanding. However hard and terrifying such a truth it may be, I felt that I needed to embrace it. And not just for my sake, but for Light's as well. We both deserved to know it.

I let out a long sigh and sat up a bit straighter in my seat. I muttered with as much resolve as I could muster, "Fine."

Ryuzaki paused from his sipping and stared at me over the rim of his cup. "Care to elaborate?"

I rolled my eyes and hoped he wouldn't see in the dimness of the room. As if he didn't already know what I was referring to.

"You can show me the videotaped footage of Light. And I'll...I'll give you my opinion."

Ryuzaki uncrouched from his chair and shuffled over to the TV. "Thank you for your cooperation, Miss Yagami."

Yeah, you should be thanking me. I still don't know if I really want to do this or not.

I silently waited as he finished rewinding the tape and mentally prepared myself for what I was going to see. I readied myself for the worst (of what the worst could be, I had no idea).

"Just say whatever comes to your mind," Ryuzaki muttered as he pressed 'play' and crouched back in his seat. I could feel his eyes on me, watching intently.

The first image I saw was Light simply sitting on the floor of his cell. He was hunched over his knees and was staring off into the distance. His hair was covering some of his face, but I could distinctly see the hardness and sternness that clouded his eyes. It was a weird combination of looking bored, angry, and expressionless all at the same time. Images of my nightmare came back to me and I shivered.

Light, you can't be...you just can't be...Kira...

I snuck a quick sidelong glance at Ryuzaki and saw that he was still watching me intensely. I tried to cover up my worry by adopting a neutral expression on my face. If I was going to give Ryuzaki any insight, it would be when I wanted. I was determined to not let my face betray my emotions.

Suddenly, Ryuzaki's recorded voice could be heard as he spoke to Light through a speaker.

"Light, you've only been here for one week. I'm sure it can't be easy. Are you feeling alright?"

I couldn't believe Ryuzaki was actually asking my cousin if he was alright. Since when did Ryuzaki ever show any concern towards someone else? I quickly pushed away the memory of Ryuzaki when I had mentioned Ukita's name that night, and focused on the video footage.

There was a long pause on the audio, with neither Light nor Ryuzaki saying anything. Light continued to stare off towards the other end of the cell and my stomach lurched with worry and dread.

He seems so cold and stern and...

Suddenly, Light looked up and spoke emotionlessly.

"Yeah, I know I must look pretty bad in here, but this useless pride...I suppose I'll have to...get rid of it!"

I could hear the springs of the chair creak as Ryuzaki leaned closer in to inspect me. I tried to hide my puzzled frown and eyes by shaking my hair into my face.

Light getting rid of his pride? But Light has always been a proud individual. Whether or not that is a good or bad thing, his confidence and satisfaction with himself as a person is something he would never so openly admit to. Never mind stating that he wants to get rid of it!

"Care to share something, Miss Yagami?" Ryuzaki muttered over at the side. I felt his incessant gaze beating down on me, as if it was a spotlight.

"Nope. Nothing yet." I shook my head and disciplined my face into a neutral expression.

Light withdrew into silence and continued to stare with cold, stone eyes towards the other end of the cell. And I realized with a wave of severe nausea that I didn't recognize him. That the young man I was seeing on the videotape was not my cousin.

He's not acting like Light. All these months have gone by and I can't deny it anymore - he's not himself. He's...no, he can't...

Suddenly, I felt like I was going to panic. I had a horrible fear that he was going to come out and admit that he was Kira. Based just off of the icy, cold look he had on his face, I was terrified that he was going to admit what Ryuzaki suspected.

My mind frantically began to go over what I would do if such a thing actually happened.

Okay, okay, I'll just try not to panic too much and I'll remain seated. I'm sure I'll have a panic attack and it's best if I'm seated if it happens. I'm not even going to pay Ryuzaki any attention, but will just numb my mind and try not to focus on anything. I'll – I'll maybe run out of the room and...and I'll find Matsuda! I'll wake him up if I have to! I just don't want to be alone! That...that's what I'll do!

My frantic thoughts must have registered on my face somewhat, because Ryuzaki leaned closer to me and inquired, "Everything alright, Miss Yagami?"

I nodded quickly, afraid that if I answered him my voice would give away my fear. I clenched the arms of the chair and tried to calm down a bit.

That's crazy! Light won't admit that he's Kira, because if he did, he would've been arrested and Ryuzaki wouldn't want my opinion or anything like that. I'm just thinking crazy thoughts. Light wouldn't admit that because – because he wouldn't! Because he's not, or, because he's not –

All of a sudden, something changed on the videotape footage.

Light's unfeeling, detached stare transformed into something all together different.

He suddenly looked around himself in confusion and the audio barely picked up his startled breathing. He blinked a few times and stared towards the opposite wall, not with narrowed, menacing eyes, but with eyes wide-opened with genuine, innocent bewilderment.

I leaned in closer towards the television screen to make sure I wasn't just imagining Light's drastic transformation. In the corner of my eye, I could see Ryuzaki lean in closer as well, but his eyes were still focused on me.

His gaze really did change. He looks like he's confused and...and even a little frightened.

Then he addressed the camera.

"Ryuzaki, I realize that I was the one pushing for confinement and that I asked you to put me in here, but I just realized something important. This whole thing's completely pointless! Because I'm not Kira! You have to get me out of here!"

I couldn't disguise the surprise on my face and didn't care if Ryuzaki saw it or not (he probably did, considering how closely he was scrutinizing my face). My heart pattered wildly as I digested Light's vehemently spoken words.

He admitted that the confinement was not necessary! That he's not Kira! Why didn't he say any of that earlier on? Has he finally come to his senses? Does he realize he made a mistake about the whole confinement thing? Why now? Why did he choose that moment to say it?

Ryuzaki's recorded voice interrupted my thoughts as it echoed from the speakers.

"I can't do that. I promised you that no matter what you said I wouldn't let you out until I was convinced that you are not Kira."

I clenched my teeth and turned to Ryuzaki with anger, as if he had just spoken those words instead of his recorded voice. He stared back at me, expectant and waiting for me to say something.

But my biting retort aimed towards him for refusing to let my cousin out of confinement abruptly vanished from my thoughts as I thought over the whole situation.

Matsuda told me that Light had asked Ryuzaki to not let him out until Ryuzaki was convinced that Light is innocent, no matter what he said or did. Ryuzaki was only keeping his promise that he made to Light. And Light knows that. So, why is he so adamantly asking for release when he himself asked Ryuzaki to make that promise? Why the sudden transformation?

I turned back to the TV, hoping to get some answers to my questions as Light responded back. I noticed that Light's eyes were not confused anymore, but were determined and steadfast. And his voice did not carry the rough, expressionless tone that he had had earlier on in the tape, but now sounded borderline desperate.

"Please, L, I wasn't thinking clearly! Do you really think a serial killer like Kira could commit those crimes without being aware of them? If I have no memory of his crimes, I'm not him!"

"What?" I gasped out, unable to withhold my utter puzzlement. I think Ryuzaki realized that I wasn't going to address him until the whole video footage was over, and silently continued to watch me.

Matsuda told me that Light had proposed the whole theory of Kira committing his crimes subconsciously. Why is he suddenly going back on his own theory? He sounds like he genuinely believes what he's saying though. And Light wouldn't so easily admit that he wasn't thinking clearly unless it was true. I'm just so...confused.

Ryuzaki's recorded voice responded to Light, reaffirming my cousin's sudden change of theory.

"I've never been able to accept this idea that Kira has been acting without self-awareness this whole time. But that doesn't change the fact that the evidence points to you being Kira. Since we've imprisoned you, Kira hasn't committed a single murder."

The reminder that no criminals had been killed recently briefly brought about a wave of worry, but then I began to wonder about the evidence Ryuzaki was speaking of. Matsuda barely was able to give me any details about why Ryuzaki suspected Light, but from the little he was able to tell me, it sounded like pretty weak evidence. Like Matsuda had mentioned before, it could all be a coincidence that criminals hadn't been killed since Light had been confined.

And Light just sounded so...sincere and honest. He meant what he was saying.

Light's tone of voice increasingly grew louder and more frantic. He was practically yelling at the camera and his eyes blazed with fierce earnestness.

"Listen, just hear me out. I swear to you, I'm not lying! You have to believe me! I am not Kira! I must have been framed, that's the only explanation for this! You have to let me out! We're wasting time!"

And that's when my worry transformed into a different sort of distress. At the beginning of the videotape, I had actually been worried that Light could have been...could have been...Kira. But the present footage of Light had morphed my worry into concern directed towards Light. I was worried for him! He seemed so afraid and desperate and eager to convince Ryuzaki to release him. I felt distressed seeing him so distressed. I noticed that the new form of anxiety I felt was more manageable than the type I had being experiencing before Light had changed so dramatically.

And each time he fiercely yelled that he wasn't Kira, a tinge of hope echoed inside of me.

Ryuzaki's voice responded calmly to Light's frantic yells.

"We can't let you out yet."

I watched as Light leaned forward and hung his head down. He seemed suddenly exhausted with his efforts at getting Ryuzaki to listen.

"Damn. Why is this happening?"

He continued to sit forward, his head down and his breathing heavy. His words of frustration and desperation were the last spoken on the audio. And, apparently, it was the last portion of the videotape that Ryuzaki wanted me to watch.

He slowly untangled himself from his crouched position on the chair and stopped the tape. The screen went blue and the sudden silence felt heavy and oppressive. Ryuzaki poured another cup of coffee for himself and stared directly at me with an anticipative gaze.

"So?"

It was his one-word request for me to start speaking. I took a deep breath and tried to put all of my scrambled thoughts into comprehensible words.

"I don't really know what to make of it, but...there were a couple of things I noticed."

Ryuzaki waited for me to continue; for the first time, it seemed he was more determined to listen than to speak.

"At first, I couldn't believe how...how stern he looked. How emotionless he looked. He's looked that way before. For the past few months, it's increasingly grown worse. And..." I stopped short, hesitant to say what I wanted to, but took the plunge into giving Ryuzaki some of my trust and carried on. "And, it's scared me. Light...Light has frightened me. With his sudden, fierce looks of irritation to his distantness and...and just seeing my cousin like that really bothers me. Really worries me. But then, later on in the footage..."

My lips upturned a little at the ends into what could have been a small attempt at a smile. I continued more confidently.

"He changed. Something about him changed. He didn't look angry, or irritated, or expressionless, or whatever anymore, but instead he looked..."

I looked down suddenly as I felt tears well up at the backs of my eyes. I tried to hold them back, but a few tears escaped and trailed down my cheeks. Ryuzaki's quick eyes noticed before I could wipe them away and commented on them.

"You're crying, Miss Yagami."

I sniffed and finished where I had trailed off. "Instead he looked like himself again. He was distressed and confused, yes, but...but he sounded and looked like himself. The way he did months ago. The way he did before this whole stupid investigation began."

There was a moment of silence as I reflected on the distress and puzzlement that Light had demonstrated on the tape. I couldn't help but nervously laugh a little bit as I realized what it all meant.

Ryuzaki craned his neck outwards at an outlandish angle and stared at me with a perplexed gaze.

"First tears, now laughter. Quite the curious reactions, Miss Yagami."

I laughed a little bit more at how confused Ryuzaki was over my behaviour. I wouldn't expect a normal person to correctly interpret my behaviour, never mind an individual like Ryuzaki who seemed emotionally-stunted.

"During that first bit of the tape, I was really worried and scared by...by the idea that Light could be Kira. It still seems like a ridiculous idea, but based off of how he has been acting lately, I couldn't help but consider such a thought. However much it scared me."

Ryuzaki seemed to have forgotten his coffee, which he hadn't touched since I had started talking. He watched me carefully, at times looking at my mouth instead of my eyes, as if he thought he was going to actually see the words that left my mouth.

"But then, like I said, he changed and seemed more like himself. I was crying with happiness because he seemed like the cousin I know, the cousin I've known my whole life. And I was laughing with relief because Light...because Light can't possibly be Kira."

"How do you explain his behaviour at the beginning of the tape though, Miss Yagami? Moreover, how do you explain his distant, stern behaviour over the past couple of months that has scared you so?" Ryuzaki asked swiftly, but his tone wasn't harsh or mocking. He sounded like he genuinely wanted to know my answer.

I shook my head slightly and slowly responded, "I...I can't explain it."

I suddenly turned towards Ryuzaki and directly faced him. I held his unwavering gaze, determined to get my point across to him.

"Listen, I don't know why Light has been acting the way he has recently. Something must be bothering him or negatively affecting him or something, but I have no explanation whatsoever for what it could be. All I know is that he's not Kira. That he's telling the truth when he says that he's innocent."

"How do you know that?" Ryuzaki quickly questioned, but once again he didn't sound like he was trying to corner me or make me slip up; he seemed genuinely curious.

"I know my cousin well enough that he doesn't like to be seen as weak or vulnerable or even upset. He hates looking like that, even if it meant he had to pretend to look like that! Light wouldn't have acted so open in his distress and given in so willingly to his anguish unless he really meant it, unless he was so dead-set in his conviction and couldn't contain the distress it caused him anymore. And, furthermore..."

I leaned forward in my chair towards Ryuzaki and kept constant eye contact with him. I continued with the same determination.

"...I know it sounds completely biased or subjective or whatever, but I can tell that Light isn't lying. I've been able to detect him lying before, and this isn't one of those situations. I can see it in his eyes and hear it in his voice. I just know that he's telling the truth. Couldn't you tell that he was telling the truth when he so adamantly said he wasn't Kira, Ryuzaki?"

Ryuzaki was silent and, instead of me breaking eye contact, it was him who suddenly looked away towards a corner of the room. It looked like he was weighing options or thoughts in his mind, but his blank stare revealed nothing of what those options or thoughts were.

Suddenly, he turned back to me and posed another question, instead of answering mine. "What if the task force and I, and your uncle, all thought that he was lying? What would you think then?"

Whereas months before I would wonder if he was actually telling the truth or was genuinely asking what I thought, now I knew that he was sneakily trying to get me to answer a certain way and was, in fact, lying. I highly doubted anyone on the task force doubted Light's innocence, and I knew that Uncle Soichiro thought Light innocent. Ryuzaki was just trying to determine how firm I was in my opinion.

He can't help it but be sneaky with getting answers...

I confidently answered without a blink of an eye, "I would still believe and claim that Light is innocent. That he is not Kira. I know what I saw."

In the dim lighting of the room, I could barely make out Ryuzaki's dark pupils rapidly scanning my face. He leaned in towards me until he was evading my personal space, but I withheld my discomfort as he continued to study my expression. I wanted him to know how serious, how dead-set I was in my conviction.

After what felt like several minutes, Ryuzaki leaned back in his chair and muttered dryly around his thumb, "I believe you are telling me the truth, Miss Yagami..."

So, he believes that Light is innocent, too!

"...about your feelings regarding the footage of Light."

My shoulders slumped a little bit as I realized he simply believed that I was expressing my opinion honestly, and not necessarily that what I was actually contesting to was the truth.

I needed to at least try to find out what he thought of the video footage.

"Ryuzaki, what...what do you think of it all? Do you think that Light is telling the truth in the footage?" I asked with a slight tremble to my voice, nervous and eager to hear his response.

But I shouldn't have been worried. I should have known better when it came to asking Ryuzaki questions.

"You've given me some things to consider. Thank you, Miss Yagami." Ryuzaki drawled out in his emotionless voice and turned slightly away from me in his chair.

I realized he wasn't going to give me any form of answer that contained substance to it. He wasn't going to reveal anything. And his 'thank you' was another way of him telling me that I had served my purpose and that I could leave and go back to bed.

I should have been annoyed and disappointed that I didn't get any answer from him (okay, maybe I was a little bit), but as I left the room, I couldn't help but notice the strange look on his face which seemed to settle my feelings of irritation.

His brow was slightly creased and he was gnawing on his thumb pad more fiercely than he usually did. And his eyes were crinkled around the edges and rapidly darted around the wall that he was staring at.

He, dare I say it, looked confused. He looked like he was stumped on something.

And I realized as I walked back to my room, that maybe Ryuzaki didn't have all the answers. That maybe he really did want to know my opinion. That maybe I had actually given him some food for thought.

I didn't get much more sleep that night. I lay awake going over the video footage in my head multiple times, trying to figure out exactly what had happened during that recording. Why did Light suddenly transform so drastically? What was really going on with him? What was he possibly thinking during that whole recording?

The chance I took with taking the plunge, with burning my bridges, awakened something within me. Taking the chance to witness the truth, to watch the videotape footage, had confused me even more and hadn't provided a lot of clarity. But I knew, I was convinced, that Light wasn't Kira. Something was going on with him though, and I needed to find out. My desire for more knowledge was what had woken up quite suddenly and unexpectedly.

I knew that Light was probably going to be in confinement for a little while longer, if I was going to be realistic. I planned on asking, on even demanding, that Ryuzaki allow me to continue to watch the footage of my cousin. It was the only way I knew how to find out what Light was experiencing, what was going on with him. It was the only way I was going to figure out the truth.

And for once, my nervousness and fright were not the only feelings I was experiencing when it came to discovering the truth. I was also curious and eager, which fuelled my desire to not be left in the dark anymore.

...

A/N: Always appreciate feedback of any kind! Let me know what you'd like to see more of or what you wouldn't like to see and I'll try to accommodate! Thanks for reading as always!